Tuesday, January 30, 2007

你講呀 你講啦 !!

Every morning at 7:00 am my Sony Ericsson K300i
would play this song at the loudest tone as
my daily alarm.

A few time I woke up earlier then 7:00 am and
was doing some work while the below song played
and I was totally jumped up cause of the powerful
tone and music.

And the first 6 words were like some lady talking
out loud at your face, and one could really fly
or jump when suddenly heard this 你講呀 你講啦
thing -_-"

Fat Lady was complaining to me and said she almost
had an heart attack when she heard my alarm tone
lolrtof !!

Anyway, it's about some sassy girl forcing a guy
to declare how much the guy loves him and to love
her only, total sassy and bully !! and I like it !!

lolrotf !!

It sounded like this....

你講你愛我 講我知你愛我
話佢聽你愛我 等佢知道佢錯
我知你愛我 講我知你愛我
話佢聽你愛我 當佢面抱下我

其實你愛我 唔係點解會約我
唔係你又駛乜禮拜六 度黎度去

其實你愛我 唔係點解會TUM我
唔係你又使乜趁佢病 行入廚房

趁住人齊同佢 六面二口



你講你愛我 講我知你愛我
話佢聽你愛我 等佢知道佢錯

話佢聽你愛我 當佢面抱下我

其實你愛我 唔係點解會嗌我
前日約定家長見哂面 仲唔係你

其實你愛我 唔係點解會叫我
陪住你訂婚紗買鑽石 連疊洋樓

承認你愛我 人地爭D喊喇啵
人地咁易傷心咁脆弱 受唔住你

其實你愛我 人類之中最愛我
無謂夾硬娶左佢兩日 然後離婚

你講 你講你愛我 講我知你愛我
話佢聽你愛我 等佢知道佢錯

你鍾意見我 心裡只會有我
任你揀我兩個 等會飛佢要我
我知你愛我 講我知你愛我
趕佢扯 錫哂我

Monday, January 29, 2007

This Son of a bitch. Pun Intended.

This son of a bitch, pun intended bite my F-117 washing sponge
into million pieces yesterday.

Literally million pieces lolrtof !!

I think I am going to produce some really smelly fart at his face
( Prince) and let him suffocate to death. lolrtof !!

But seriously, this Golden Retriever called Prince or Putera has an
habit of biting everything that it sees.

Cloths, pants, plastic bags, bugs, slippers, shoes, sandals, sponge,
even it's own poo sometimes -_-".

I read from the internet that most of the dogs when they are
still at their young age loves to bite, perhaps to train their
muscle and tooth structure.

My aunt's 2 Sun Tze dare not bite cause they were well
trained by by aunt & her maid.

It's about sufficient of training and shaping that the
owner is giving.

No wonder there were 2 dogs near my house area where the
owner tied sandals at their neck so that they could bite
the sandals whenever they want and wherever they wanted
to bite.


Dog bites ! Remember that !

You know it when...

You know when this world is created, there are a lot of natural
laws and indications and stuff like that.

For example, when the sky become dark, it means it is already
night time.

When the sun rise from the east, means that it is going to be
daylight or day time already, simple yeah ?

But how do you define and explain the below phenomenon?

You know every morning when I am brushing my tooth the
toothpaste becomes foaming in the mouth, right ?

When the foam is produced and when it is too much of foam
in the mouth or sometimes when the mouth is opened too
wide the foam would sort of fell out from the mouth, right?

Once the foam is falling, it should directly pufff and splash
on the floor, right ?

But for the past few days, everytime I brush my tooth I
can't seems to find any foams on the floor.

I look see look see, and finally saw the foams on my stomach!!

The toothpaste formed foam and fall on my stomach -_-"

What does it mean ????

time to get trimmed down and exercise my mates !!

So, if the toothpaste foam falls on your stomach instead
of directly to the floor, your stomach is way too round
already, but look at the positive side, hey ! you have
got yourself a free Air Bag wherever you go and what
ever car that you are driving.

Free air bag !! Free air bag !!

Kembang Post !! lol !!

Someone placed a good idea and suggestion in the comment
section just now.

Thanks to him/her. Thankiuliggem !!

And I am so kembang now !! pffffffffff !!! lol !!

Kemaluan yang besar -_-"

1994, SMJK Chung Hwa, Kota Bharu, we were at Form 4 and it
was one of the happiest year, evar !!

The Bahasa Malaysia class was handled by our Dear Cikgu Tan
and he was one hell of Bahasa Malaysia teacher then !

He thought us a lot of stuff, funny, serious, useful, sometimes
not so useful, and I would say all of us have learned so much
of knowledge from him.

He also did highlight some grammar , structure and all sort of
errors made by us in the class on and off.

One day after he marked the essay in the class he asked us
to pay attention to what he was going to say.

Cikgu Tan," Seng Khun, apa khabar anda hari ini ?"

Seng Khun -_-" ," Khabar baik, Cikgu ! "

Cikgu Tan," Baik ah ? Bagus, mari kita tengok apa si Seng Khun
tulis dalam karangan beliau yeah ?"

Seng Khun -_-" lagi !!

Cikgu Tan," Murid-murid sekalian, ini lah yang ditulis di dalam
karangan Seng Khun ....

...disebabkan kekalahan dalam pertandingan tersebut, Ah Beng
telah mendapat kemaluan besar kerana gagal mendapat sebarang
pingat !.."

Cikgu Tan," Saudara Seng Khun, bolehkah anda memberi sedikit
gambaran bagaimanakan rupanya KEMALUAN BESAR yang
didapat oleh Ah Beng ? "

Seng Khun," Huh ? " -_-"

Cikgu Tan," Sebesar mana kemaluan tersebut? Berat ke ? Adakah
ia sebesar lembu ? Sebesar ketam? Sebesar Tombok Cina ? Seberat
sebuah lori ? Lelaki mia atau apaciam ? hmmm ? Bagaiamanakah
rupa KEMALUAN yang BESAR tersebut? bagitahulah !! "

We all bursted into craziest laugh and really rolling on the floor
with tears in our eyes.

Seng Khun just stood there, looked damn innocent like that !!

I almost laughed until my pants broke into half, that bad !!!!


What is an Linggem.

What is an Linggem ?

If you are one of my friends you would probably heard me
saying the below words before :

" Wah ! Syiokelinggem!"

" Oi ! This is crazylinggem !"

" wtfknnbbqkelinggem !"

My friend asked me, what does Linggem means ?

I said," Linggem itself has no meaning, I just put it there so
that the word would sound more sophisticatedliggem ! "

My friend -_-"

Me:" Don't worry, it's really easilinggem one ! "

My friend lagi -_-" and 2 legs in the sky.

So, my friend, don't worry, be happy !!

Linggem is just an stimulus, it's just an pemangkin, it's
just the chili in your Tom Yam, it's the CO2 in your
Coca Cola.

Linggem makes your life become perfect.

Liggem makes your life happy.

Linggem makes your life carefree !!!

Get your own linggem today at the nearest store.

Salam Mesralinggem !!

Saturday, January 27, 2007

昨 晚 晚 餐 前,
Jessie 说:" Kai Hong, 我 刚 才 流 鼻 血 呢 !! "
我 问 :" Har ? 为 什 么 呢 ? "
她 回 答:" 不 知 道 为 什 么 leh ! "
我 说 :" 是 不 是 你 看 到 自 己 冲 凉 时 没 穿
衣 顶 不 顺 而 流 鼻 血 呢 !! "

她 骂 我 wtfknnbbq !!

我 说 :" 那 你 该 天 冲 凉 和 没 穿 衣 时 关 灯 不
就 可 以 解 决 问 题 了 落 ! "

她 气 得 七 孔 流 血 !!! -_-"

我 :" 哇 ! 哇 ! 哇 ! 哇! 又 来 了!! 又 来 了 !!!!
我 快 点 送 你 去 医 院 !!!!"

她:" 送 你 的 死 人 头 !! "

他 妈 的 真 好 笑 !!!

Syiok Sendiri Mia Orang Pun Ada -_-"

Tolong Jangan Hujan Ya.

Semalam ku masuk tidur sekitar pukul 11 malam lebih dan pada
pukul 5 pagi telah terasa cukup tidur, rasa memang fresh dan

Maka pun saya angkat bakul dan alat cuci kereta
kapal terbang F-117 dan mulalah mencuci F-117 yang telah amat
kotor, berdebu dan tidak dapat kekenali warna sebenarnya.

Setelah saya cuci, maka saya pun pergi ke tandas dan buang air
besar kerana biasanya selepas senaman ( atau mencuci kereta )
dan sebagainya, perut akan terangsang dan akan ada output yang
kena dihantar ke Indah Water.

Setelah keluar daripada tandas, terasa cuaca sudah berubah sedikit
dan angin mula bertiup-tiupan.

Seluar saya terus terjatuh ke atas lantai kerana belum siap dipakai.

Saya memandang ke arah langit dan bercakap..

Saya:" Tuan, selamat pagi !"

Langit:" ..... "

Saya:" Tuan, saya baru saja cuci kereta dan hendak ke Ipoh nanti!"

Langit:" ..... "

Saya:" Tuan, tak eloklah kalau nanti hujan kena kereta saya, bukan?"

Langit:" ..... "

Saya:" Ok Tuan, kalau Tuan berdiam bermaksud Tuan telah bersetuju
dengan cadangan saya untuk tidak hujan ya ? "

Langit:" Kapoooommmmmm !!! " dan memberi sambaran petir kuat !!

Aku lari sampai seluar pun koyak pecah bin jatuh !!!

wtfknnbbq !!! Setiap kali selepas cuci kereta mengapa mesti hujan mia?

Thursday, January 25, 2007

Could Jackie Chan speak Bahasa Indonesia?

A few days ago I was in Johor Bharu and in the hotel I was watching
the TV and switching channels.

Dang ! Local TV are so boring and no contents !!

Suddenly I saw Jackie Chan and the late Anita Mui.

Anita Mui :" Cis ! Engkau memang tidak berguna !"

Jackie:" Tidak, bukan !"

Anita Mui:"Engkau hanya mementingkan untung !"

Jackie:" Bukan, tidak ! "

Anita Mui:" Pergi engkau dari sini .... "

All in Bahasa Indonesia -_-"

I was like -_-" wtf ????

Oh ! Rupa-rupanya telah aku terpasang dan tertengok
TV Indonesia Raya !!

lolrtof !!

Terkejut kito jumpo Jackie kecek bahaso Indon !!

Police officer Mazura.

A few days ago i went to SS2 and made some police report there
because of some incident.

The lady police officer there with the name Mazura attended me.

Mazura:" Oh you are from Kelantan yeah ?"

Me:" Wah! How you know one ? "

Mazura rolled eyes and pointed at my MyCard which I placed on
the table :" Nuh ! Sini ada tulis !! "

Me lolrtof !!!

I claimed myself to be what exCIA and exFBI and exMIB and
everything wah !!

Like that also don't know ! " Nuh ! Sini ada tulis !! "

lolrtof !!

By the way, I would like to thank the police officer Mazura
for being helpful to guide and have patience with me.

I know I asked a lot of questions but well, i like to learn more
thing mar !!!

Visit Holland Year 2007

My sales person had an appointment at Bukit Tinggi area at Klang
this afternoon and he asked me to follow him there. He drove his
car and I drove mine.

Kesas toll ( Awan Besar, Sunway and Padang Jawa ) x 2.20 and
the toll to customer place ( Bukit Tinggi , near Tesco ) is RM 6.60
for one way trip.

-_-" my tooth pain like hell ! Rm 6.60 wtfknnbbq !!!

After the meeting with customer I decided to use Federal Highway
to come back to KL.

Klang toll Rm 1.00
Subang Batu Tiga toll Rm 1.10
Total RM 2.10 only !!!

And my sales person brought me to make a damn big round and
cost me Rm 6.60 instead of Rm 2.10 !!!

Rm4.50 down the drain !!!

That's what we called people bring you to Holland !!!

But didn't die lah yeah ! Just paid Rm4.50 extra only.

Saturday, January 20, 2007

痛 的 歌!!

好 久 好 久 没 听 到 如 邓 丽 君 小 姐
那 么 让 人 心 动 和 会 让 人 有 共 鸣
的 歌 了!! Haih !

还 是 总 是 觉 得 还是 那 个 年 代 的 歌
比 较 有 意 思, 会 吗?

可 是 每 当 我 听 那 年 代 的 歌 时, 小 朋 友
总 是 问 我 为 何 喜 欢 听 oldies 老 歌 .

wtf ? Oldies ?

幸 好 没 有 把 邓 丽 君 小 姐 的 歌 当
Classical Music 来 classified -_-"

要 不 然 的 话 更 加 气 死 人 也!!!!


Friday, January 19, 2007

Roti Canai No Leh !!

This morning arrived early at the office and manage to have
some time at the Indian Restaurant as usual.

Ordered No Leh Roti Kosong with a little bit of sugar. No
curry and no dal nothing, only some sugar.

Tried that before ? Should really try it, roti kosong taste damn
good with fine sugar, really !

It is damn filling compared to other breakfast, and it cost only
Rm1.40 and would last until at least 1pm !! Betul mia !

Come back to office and had a cup of plain water, now full like
going to explode like that -_-"

Actually living in Malaysia is a wonderful thing, you could try
all sort of food beginning from RM 2.00 per meal.

The more you travel abroad, the more you would appreciate
the Malaysian food variety.

And also, I am proud to put on record here that 2 days ago I
was having Nasi Lemak as breakfast, Chinese Mixed Rice as
lunch and Indian Banana Leaf as dinner.

So damn syiok and total was RM 1.60 + RM3.50 + RM 3.80,
so cheap ! so nice ! and looked looked at my stomach
OMG so big already !!! can give birth already !!!

Tell me where else in this word with RM 8.90 you could enjoy
Malay Food + Chinese Food + Indian Food in one day time ?

I don't think so mate ! I don't think so !!

Only Malaysia and I love Malaysia so much that I hope that
the peoples in power have better buck up and reshape
themself before we ship them out yeah ?

Anyway, today the Hokkien class we will learn.

Leh = Unit

Ji Leh = One unit.
No Leh = Two unit.
Sah Leh = Three unit.
Si Leh = Four unit.
Goh Leh = Five unit.
Lak Leh = Six unit.
Chit Leh = Seven unit.
Bek Leh = Eight unit.
Kao Leh = Nine unit.
Chap Leh = Ten unit.
Mat Sa Leh = Kwai Low.

Pak = Hundred.
Cheng = Thousand.
Ban = Tenth thousand.
Wa = me.
Lu= you.
Ye = him/her.
Wu = have / got.
Kalu = if.

So Roti kosong No Leh = 2 unit of roti kosong.

Kalu wa wu Ji Pak Ban = If I have 1,000,000 !!

Kam Siah !! Thank you salam mesra !!

Thursday, January 18, 2007

K300i story.

所 以 我 说,中 学 生 不 适 合 谈 恋 爱 !!!

错 了 错 了 !!

其 实 应 该 是,"
所 以 我 说 应 该 减 少 赞 美 " 才 对!

比 如 说 华 人 家 庭 很 少 赞 美 和 称 赞 自 己 的 家 人
的 情 形 的, 有 发 现 吗 ?

华 人 称 自 己 的 老 婆 为
衰 婆!!
华 人 称 自 己 的 老 公 为
死 佬!!
华 人 称 自 己 的 孩 子 们 为
死 仔 包!!
华 人 称 自 己 的 孩 子 们 为
死 女 包!!
华 人 称 自 己 的 朋 友 们 为
猪 朋 狗 友!!

因 为 东 西 是 你 一 称 赞 他 呢 , 他 一 定 马 上
给 你 出 问 题 或 给 你 麻 烦 !! 不 相 信 ??

你 一 称 赞 孩 子 们 厉 害 念 书, 明 天 便 给 你
一 个 考 试 不 及 格!!

你 一 称 赞 天 气 良 好 ,10 分 钟 后 给 你 下 个
清 盆 大 雨!!

你 一 说 自 己 健 康 没 病, 明 天 便 给 你 一 个
发 烧 感 冒 , 病 足 一 个 月, 怕 吗 ??

我 本 来 没 什 么 相 信 的 , 但 是 上 个 星 期 我才
杰 申 称 赞 我 的 Sony Ericsson K300i 手 机 说
什 么 好 用 省 电 便 宜 之 类 的.

结 果
他 妈 的 当 天 晚 上 手 机 便 出 现 问 题 !!
充 电 器 并 无 法 将 电 给 输 入 手 机 了!!

我 是 真 的 气 得 呱 呱 叫 和 乱 乱 跳!!!

幸 好 有 妹 妹 的 朋 友 借 出 Sony Ericsson W810i
Walkman 手 机 一 个.

我 只 好 拨 电 给 手 机 佬, 要 他 卖 部 便 宜 的
Sony Ericsson K510i ( Rm420 ) 给 我.

哪 知 那 家 伙 竟 然 放 飞 机!!

好了, 好了, 冲 动 期 过 了!!!
冷 静 期 来 了!!

想 把 旧 机 K300i 给 丢 进 吧 生 河 leh !! 但 舍
不 得 & kupik , 毕 竟 有 感 情 了,用了一年了.

只 好 自 己 把 电 磁 给 弄 干 净 , 接 口
处 也 弄 干 净.

一 插 电 , 喂 ? 可 以 了喔 !!! 真 奇 妙!!

了 不 起!不 不 我 是 说 死 K300i ,算 你 有
人 性 和 知 道 天 高 地 厚 ,不 然 把 你 切
成 一 段 段 喂 狗,问 你 怕 没 ?

Wednesday, January 17, 2007

Place to go !

Arrived at the Hutan Lipur Sungai Gabai one afternoon, was traveling
from Kajang towards Hulu Langat and decided to have a look at the
waterfalls area.

Parked the F-117 and one friendly guy came and Kaching !! rm 2.00 for
parking -_-" wtf ?

Actually the rm2.00 is the motivation for me to climb all the way till the
up stream of this waterfalls which is like 100 meters high and it is
multi leveled ( not direct sales lah you dumb head !!)

I paid the rm2.00 and felt that, aiseh already paid the money takkan
want to just stop and see and go ? No way !!

So i walked and walked and climbed and climbed and panted and panted!

A lot of people having a good time enjoying the water here, air was fresh
and atmosphere was cheerful as everyone was having a good time.
I was the only one wearing working office attire as I was just planning
stop by.

People looked at me and think," Wtf ? This guy try to do sales and
see customer here ? Or he has lost his damn mind ? "

Me," Just have a look ok ? Look see look see !"

So i started to climb the staircases towards the higher part of
the waterfalls.

1/2 way to the top i was like panting like hell already !!

Thought of the Rm2.00 parking that I have paid, I continued to
climb again after resting for a few minutes and finally I arrived
at the top of the water falls.

Wow ! Nice view !! I told myself !!

I mean, pant pant "nice" pant pant "view" pant pant pant
pant !!

Damn I need more exercise and stamina liao !! It was like
killing a pig like that for me to climb all the way to the top

There are times when you are regret for not having your
Sony V3 or Panasonic FZ30 with you. This is one of the occasion
that you will feel so !!!

I mean, omg I need to come to this place again with my
cameras again? To climb all the way and to take photos ?
and Rm2.00 again ? -_-"

Oh my god ! Why don't they design the waterfall lower,
or install a lift?

Hmm... by the time I came down from the top of the waterfall my
legs were hmmm a little bit shaky cause of the extreme up and
down process.

The guy who collect rm2.00 from me:" hi ! What happened ? "

me," Me ? Huh ? Tired like hell ! See my legs ? Like Elvis Presley
doing Hound Dog Song time like that ! "

the guy lolrtof !!

I had to take a 3 minutes cool down in my car before I
could leave !

Damn tired!!

A Jet in the morning.

This morning while I was mopping the F-117 before taking off to work I
saw this don't know which airline mia plan was flying high and suddenly
changed direction above my head.

Took out the W810i and capture some of the movements.

When I was a kid whenever we saw this, my friends would say " Hei see
rocket flying ! "

I was like -_-" rocket meh ?

Went home and asked my father," Pa, are those rockets up there ?"

Father," No, those are air planes flying at high attitude, tak kan everyday
Malaysia has so many rockets flying around right ? "

Me," Affirmative ! "

Father,"Roger and out ! "

Papa and Mama, thank you so much for teaching me so much of stuff
since I was a kid, and made me understand a lot of thing.

I lap piu !! I lap both of piu very much !!

Tuesday, January 16, 2007

又 要 平! 又 要 甜! 又 要 大 粒 nien !!

Koh Ai Pi ! Koh Ai Ti ! Koh Ai Tua Liap Nie !!


I love Hokkian !!

A bunch of flies !!

A few days ago I went to a customer who has a lot of
complain against my company's service, stocks, sales
person etc.

I went there and spoken to her nicely and found out
that, eh ? It wasn't that bad what ?

I came back to office and said," Who said she is that
bad one ? "

My driver," I didn't say she was bad, I said her mouth
po pek po pek non stop, noisy, mulut laser only."

Me -_-" har ?

My driver added," Like a bunch of flies surrounding your
ears and head flying non stop, wuu wuu wuuu wwuuuuuw like
that you know what I mean ? "

Me laughed until tears also came out non stop !

Noisy Customer ! I am loving it !

Monday, January 15, 2007

Do you have RM560,000 ??

Yesterday was at Damansara area near Atria Mall there and
went scouting for some house.

Saw a double story link house for sale and made an enquriy.

The lady name Ruth answered the call :" Yes ? "

Me:" I saw your contact bla bla bla, this link house, how
much would that be ? "

Ruth:" Oh the one, RM560,000 only ! New roof new pipes!"

Me:" Wow ! RM560,000 ah ? "

Ruth sensed some hesitation from myside and went on
saying:" Well, I have another better one RM 600,000, I
think you would like it even more ! "

Me:" Wah ! Very nice very nice ! "

Ruth:" Indeed very nice! So when you want to see ?"

Me:" Very nice very nice !! "

Ruth:" Excuse me? When would you like to see the
actual hose ? "

Me:" Very nice very nice !! "

Ruth:" Chee Kao Lan Chat Sin ! " Hanged up ...

Me:" Nombor yang anda dail, telah ditamatkan
perkhidmatannya! "

Wah lau eh ! I had a 2 minutes brain jam there
when I heard the double storey link house need
RM560,000 to RM 600,000 !!!

wtfknnbbq ! RM600,000 in Kelantan you can build
10 bunglo liao !

Very nice very nice !!

Sunday, January 14, 2007

OMG My friend Zhnged his foreskin.

A few weeks ago I went back to Kelantan and met some old
friends of mine and had some good time witht them.

We round and round and round around Kota Bharu Town until
we saw this.

I said," Wait a minute ! Got package to Zhng your foreskin woh!"

My friend," Where where where ? "

Me," Nuh ! The sign here said Zhng Foreskin Expert woh ! "

My friend," Wow ! How much how much ?"

Me -_-" wtf ?

My friend," Wait wait wait I want to get more details, how much ?"

Me looked looked around, " RM 130.80 !! Got free gift somemore !"

My friend, " Wah damn cheap ! Damn cheap !! "

Me -_-" and felt something bad might happen.

Yesterday I had a chat with my friend," Yo wassap ? "

My friend," Stay at home 1 week, had a minor operation ?"

Me, " Wtf ? You got your kkc zhng ah ? "

My friend," Not kkc lah you stupiak ! Foreskin ! "

Me," Ok sorry, Wtf ? You got your foreskin zhng ah ? "

My friend, " Yeah ! 100 pros and 0 cons ! 百利而无一弊!

Me," Ok you win ! "

Me, " But now how do you pee ? You pee standing or pee sitting?"

My friend," Dumb head, of course pee standing lah ! "

My friend," Told you I zhng foreskin lok ! Not kkc lok ! "

Me," Wooppsss ! Sorry ! Sorry !!! "

-_-" 百利而无一弊 ?

My kkcforeskin? Not in a million
year over my dead body! ! Never !!

Friday, January 12, 2007

The Bad Guy !

Ladies and gentlemen, could you please kindly guess that why
am I labeling the lorry in the photos as bad guys ?

Firstly, he made a U turn at the place where it is clearly written that
U turn is allowed for light and small vehicles only.

Could you please advise me that which part of this lorry which looks
light or small ? No way !

This guy is still not too bad cause at least he still gave signals and
turn from the most right lane.

2 days ago I almost went down and kick a butt of a lorry driver
who made a similar U turn but at a place where :

  • No U Turn allowed.
  • From 2nd or left lane and made a U turn blocking all the
    lanes so that he could get more space for the turning.

    I gave him a big horn and Philips(tm) look, but he looked more
    garang then I was.

    I told him to wait till I have my Sony S85 or V3 with me !

    And he is going to be famous ! I assured him that !
  • Cat

    Went learning to take macro photos and saw this hairy piece
    of caterpillar having it's breakfast !

    Man let me tell you that the hair on it's body, if those hair kena
    your skin, you are going to be so itchy and suffering until you
    cannot remember who is your daddy and mommy !

    See these caterpillar ? Run away real fast !

    Or feed them to the birdie !

    Mom always said life is like a box of ....

    Mom always said," Life is like a box of chocolates , you never know
    when is your turn to loose a teeth or see the dentist !"

    And you know that mom is always right !

    So there you go ! too much of chocolates is bad for you! Please send
    the extra chocolates in your house to me and let me help you to
    save some money so that you don't have to go to the dentist !"

    Deep Impact

    Today I was chatting with a colleague and asked her
    " Wow ! Your phone's ring tone very nice, what song
    is that ?"

    She:" Oh this one is Eason's song ! "

    Me:" I like it ! Can you infrared to me please ?"

    She -_-" for a few seconds and she replied

    :" Err.. actually nowadays hor we all use bluetooth
    already. Basically only very old model uses infra red ! "

    Me:" Whops my mobile phone has infrared only ! "

    She:" Sorry ah ! "

    I was like kena hentam by a 3 tonne lorry on my
    face !!

    Deep impact on my self esteem !!! lol !!

    Wednesday, January 10, 2007

    I 蛇 man !!

    Yesterday there was a little bit of Hoo Ha out side of
    the office.

    Being caring and alert person, I went out and check what
    has gone wrong.

    Apparently there was this Proton Waja and a snake (蛇) in
    his car !! Don't know how does the snake goes in or why
    does it go in either.

    But there was Snake In The Car lolrtof ! Not plane yeah !

    After 3 or 4 hours I heard they finally able to get rid of
    the tiny little snake, i heard even Bomba ( Fire Department )
    came and helped.

    Luckily the FBI, NSA, CIA, CSI , KFC didn't come yeah !

    Wheew !! -_-"

    And this morning I saw my boss crying in the office.

    I asked him," Hi Morning boss are you ok ? "

    Boss," No I am not ok, can't you see i am crying ?"

    Me:" Boss why are you crying ? Something happened?"

    Boss," You remember the snake ? sob sob !! "

    Me:" Yeah the tiny little snake yesterday, what about
    the snake ? Did it bite you at your kkc and your kkc
    mati and fall off ? "

    Boss -_-" and " No ! no ! no ! The farting car that the
    snake went in mia plate number came out First Price
    today, inverted !! "

    Me:" Huh ? You mean from 1234 to 4321 ? "

    Boss:" Yes ! Precisely ! Came out first price but I
    forgot to buy ! "

    Me:" Holy Cow ! that is bad ! "

    Boss:" You know the uncle next door? He saw the
    incident and bought the lottery inverted, kena
    RM 70,000 over ringgit ! "

    Me: " Woooottttt thhhhheeeeee farrrrrrt ? That
    guy is already rich woh ! "

    Boss:" Precisely ! But people got buy and I didn't
    buy, apa boleh buat ? "

    Me think think think, " Eh ! I also didn't buy knnbbq!"

    My mood has slowly from happy to mild, mild to
    medium, medium to low and went to lowest !!!

    knnbbqbotakchingisehman !

    10 minutes later the other staff came into office and
    asked " Ei ? Boss, Kai hong, why are both of you crying
    in the office ? Something happened Are both of you ok ?"

    Me:" You remember the snake yesterday..... ? "

    So does the chain reaction started !

    Mcbknnbbq everyone has no mood to work today, and I
    declare today as our company holiday because of that
    blardy small tiny snake !! Cis !! mcb !

    I say man !! Errr I mean I 蛇 man !!

    Tuesday, January 09, 2007

    Kids and cakes !!

    Kids are always happy and love it when you put a
    nice cake infront of them and threaten to eat
    the cake with them lolrtof !!

    Threaten wah !!

    Should be called Tipu baru betul !!

    lolrtof !!!

    Just now I received a call from Mr Rafar and he asked
    if I could help him on some Digital Weight machine

    Feeling very familiar with Digital Weighing machine
    cause my housemate has 1 or 2 of those, which could
    measure the percentage of body fat somemore.

    I told Mr Rafar:" Ok Chief, how may I help you?"

    Rafar:" Oh I need to buy one those digital weight
    scale that has memory card and could be connected to
    the personal computer !"

    Me:" Digital Weight scale, no problem, digital one
    very accurate one ! Need to connect to PC one ah ?"

    Rafar:" Yeah, could be connected to the computer to
    record down the weight and other details ! "

    Me -_-" " Wow nowadays very canggih, the normal one
    that could count body fat one is around RM 60 or RM70."

    Me" Any other requirement ?"

    Rafar:" Hmm, yeah if possible get a 3 tonnes one ! "

    I terus 2 legs in the sky !!!! wtf ??

    Me:" har ? You want industrial type one iszit ? "

    Rafar:" Yeahlah, can be connected to PC one !! "

    Me:" Aiseh ! lol ! I thought you want the bathroom
    digital scale to keep fet and manage weight lol !!"

    Rafar terus 2 legs 2 hands in the sky and lolrtof !!

    He burst into super laughing mode and I could imagine
    that he laughed until his tear also came out !!

    Me:" Oi ! Chief don't laugh at me lah ! I thought you
    want to get a normal bathroom scale mah ! Cause i see
    my housemate using them everymorning ! "

    Rafar:" Bathroom scale my ass ! I want industrial 3 or
    4 tonnes one lah ! Bengong ! Bangau !! "

    Me lolrotf ! Malu betul !

    See that's what we call " I can't catch what you mean !"

    dang !!

    Hesitation and coordination.

    A few weeks ago I was back to Kota Bharu on some peace
    mission. Had got myself a driver Mr Wong Peng Siong.

    I have known this PS guy since 1990. That is like
    17 years ago ? Yeah !!

    He was my classmate, bicycle mate, and sometimes swim
    mate : ) lolrotf !

    So basically we are really really good friends along
    with Mr Lee Hoon Boon, Lim Yee Chiang, Lee Meng Tiong
    and a few more like Siw Wein, Tan Eng, etc !!

    So this time around I was lucky to have him driving
    me around Kota Bharu, Pasir Mas, and even to Tanah

    So when we were cruising along Kota Bharu town the
    other day, there was this young couple about to
    cross the road.

    I as a good Samaritan would always let people to
    cross the road by stopping my car.

    So I naturally gave them a hand signal so that
    they could cross the road without fear.

    But I totally forgotten that I wasn't the one
    who was driving. Wong peng Siong was the driver
    and I was only the co-driver -_-"

    So Peng Siong was actually planning to accelerate
    and let the couple to wait while I gave them the
    signal to go ahead.

    So the scenario was, the couple wanted to go after
    they saw my hand sign, but Peng Siong mia Kelisa
    was still moving towards them, like want to run
    them down like that -_-"

    The couple was really really confused, felt helpless
    and hesitated, don't know want to go or cross the
    road or not.

    While Peng Siong finally managed to stop the car
    completely. The couple saw our car stopped and then
    the decided to cross the road.

    Mana tahu sekali when they cross the road the car
    from behind us or a bike almost knocked them down
    or something like gave them a horn !!

    So both of us were =_=" and then were laughing out
    like hell thinking of our clumsy and lousy coordination
    and how we almost cause the couple to mentally break
    down and go insane.

    Ok next time when people drive I keep quiet.

    No more trying to be hero or side driver thing.

    Never ever again !

    Monday, January 08, 2007

    Rough Landing for F-117

    Just now when I was coming back from KL towards Old Klang
    Road office, at one of the traffic light the F-117 did
    some skidding and some smoking stunts -_-"

    The traffic light was green for quite sometime and when
    I was about to slow down it was still green.

    I said:" Oh ! Fart it ! " and hit the gas again.

    Speed increased to 80kmph or 90kmph !!

    Suddenly the knnbbqccb traffic light turned yellow and
    I was hesitating !!

    To go or not to go ??? 20 meters to the traffic light
    and F-117 still full speed !!

    And suddenly I saw these 3 guy on a bike with dark blue
    uniform at the opposite direction.

    Me -_-" and hit the air brake, flap extended and engine
    reversed full throttle and parachute deployed.

    LCD display " Distance 8, 7, 6, 5 , 4 ... "

    I hit the brake hard and the tires scratched the road
    and went smoking wah ha ha ha ha !!

    This is the F-117 with F-1 Grand Prix landing !!!

    The F-117 came to a complete stop 4 or 5 meters over
    the white line which she should have stopped.

    A lot of people were looking at us -_-"

    Me mumbled mumbled, found out that the engine has
    stopped when trying to reverse back to white line
    so that would not obstruct the traffic.

    Restarted the engine, mumbled mumbled and reversed
    4 or 5 meters back to the white line =_="

    Me;" Any landing that we could walk away is a good
    landing ! "

    It's time to change to some tires with bigger surface
    so that the grip is better ?

    Or never bead yellow lights no more? Just speed of ?

    Never mind, but poor tires suffer some scratch and
    some rubbers burnt in the process.

    The brakes are good, perhaps the momentum is too
    huge to be off set by the friction.

    Poor tires !! Poor tires !!

    KLCC from Jalan Tun Razak

    Last night at 11 pm something I wanted to go to this Eye of
    Malaysia for photo shooting but the jam was still terrible at
    that time.

    So I proceed to something more interesting.

    It is called Fried Oyster and Fried Koey Tiao at Jalan Alor : )

    Before that, I stopped by at Jalan Tun Razak, where there is
    a little space beside the road before you turn into the KL Ampang
    elevated highway.

    That spot is protected by traffic and could see what is seen
    in the above photo.

    I spent some 10 minutes capturing some night shot with the
    Sony V3 and Panasonic FZ30.

    While the Sony V3 was in action, I used FZ30 to capture
    the 2.5 Inch LCD which looked like KLCC and KLCC : )

    The big blur KLCC and small clear KLCC !!

    Boy I love to play with Digital Cameras !!

    Pontian Oyster Chili Sauce Mee.

    A few weeks ago I was traveling from Batu Pahat towards Pontian
    to see some customer.

    Before arriving at Pontian I called a local friend and she said at
    this Pt Jalan Mesjid, that is the road after you turn in from
    the Pontian Police Station, there is this nice noodled called
    Kon Low mee.

    Me, as a Kon Low Mee lover drooled when I heard that !!!

    So I turned in from Pontian Police Station and the shop name
    is something like Heng Heng or something like that -_-"

    It is a roll of shop right after the first traffic light and there
    was the shop there !

    So i sit down and ordered a Kon Low Mee Large.

    And I noticed a lot of flies in the shop surronding me, must
    me because I am the stranger and perhaps because I am
    basically a very handsome looking guy -_-"

    And shortly after that there was this lady put 5 Otak otak
    on my table.

    I said to myself," Wah, not bad, got free otak-otak ! "

    And I ate 3 of them, and think think think and called my
    friend again.

    She said," Oh no, those otak-otak are expensive and they
    charge you separately one !!! "

    Me," oh shit ! oh shit ! " -_-" sudah naik kapal pirate !!

    The noodle was only normal Kon Low Mee like the KL
    and PJ one, but cooked with Oyster Sauce and Chili
    Sauce, pretty much like my cooking when I was 14
    years old.

    And when the bill came, moodle + otak + 1 coke was
    RM 6.00 over.

    My friend did warned me that it is expensive to eat
    here though, but I really didn't hope to pay RM 6
    for a bowl of chili sauce and oyster sauce mixed
    noodle -_-"

    Else I could ask my younger cousin aged 14 to cook
    one for me at RM 1.00 -_-"

    Sunday, January 07, 2007

    Mata Malaysia ?

    Semalam setelah habis makan saya keluar dari restoran di
    Bukit Jalil dan menghala ke arah Jalan Tun Razak,
    Tasik Titiwangsa.

    Mek Gemuk yang baru habis tugasnya perlu di"pickup"
    oleh saya dan mak oi ! Jalan Tun Razak adalah begitu sesak
    sehingga semut nak lalu jalan pun tak dapat lepas.

    Tak percaya ke ? Tengok gambar ini betul betul. Sesak yang
    amat dasyat sekali !!

    Hujan renyai renyai mula turun pada 11 malam lebih dan
    kesesakan jalan masih tak hilang hilang, kaki kiri sudah
    mula penat tekan clutch dan mulut sudah mula comar
    perkataan kesat seperti," Mak engkau, apacet, yo wassap,
    getting jiggy with it , ice ice baby, hastala vista babeh dan
    sebagainya ! "

    Tiba-tiba terdengar bunyi macam bom meletup dan terus
    saya terkejut dan " Apacet itu bunyi mak engkau ? "

    Rupa rupanya bunga api !! wheewww !! Ingatkan saya
    didenda oleh Tuhan dan disambar petir kerana mulut
    kotor and celopar, cis ! !! hampir terkencing dalam seluar
    dalam pula !! -_-"

    Sejak sekolah rendah lagi kami diajar oleh cikgu dan guru
    yang bermain bunga api dan mercun adalah dilarang sama
    sekali bawah undang undang Malaysia.

    Tetapi, kenapakah bunga api dan mercun yang begitu
    besar boleh dipamer dan cikgu dan guru saya tidak
    membantah pula ?

    Apakah itu double standard ?

    Apakah itu kerajaan boleh buang air besar tapi rakyat
    tak boleh kentut ? atau dalam Bahasa Cina

    只准官放火, 不准民点灯?

    只准官大便, 不准民放屁?

    Apakah itu cakap tak serupa bikin ?

    Apakah itu saya nak dengar perkara sebenar ?

    Apakah itu " Saya Anti Rasuah?"

    Entahlah !! Dah tak berupaya nak ingat apa yang
    dicakap oleh "Pihak Yang Berkuasa" kerana sekarang
    terdapat terlalu banyak "Pihak Yang Berkuasa".

    Macam rumah saya, kadang-kadang bapa saya yang
    berkuasa, kadang-kadang emak saya yang berkuasa.

    Kadang-kadang kedua-dua mereka pun nak tunjuk
    kuasa, maka saya lari cepat cepat bertempiaran !!

    Jadi, bagi mereka yang diberi mandat untuk menjaga
    nasib rakyat Malaysia tetapi melakukan perkara yang
    sebaliknya !!

    Ingat tentang The Judgement Day ? Ya !! Itu !!

    Di mana kita akan berjumpa lagi dengan Hakim ?

    Jumpa di sana, Salam Mesra dan Selamat Malam!

    Guess what happen next ?

    You are so need to guess what will happen next ? Or what
    actually happened in the photo ?

    wtf ? 7 pm woh the invitation card said !

    Went for a wedding dinner a few days ago.

    I arrived at 6:50 pm as the invitation card said that the
    dinner shall start at 7:00 pm.

    But at 7:15 pm when I sit at my table, only 3 or 4 person
    were in the hall -_-"

    What you should do ?

    What you should do when you fall in love with a girl ?

    You either buy some nice chocolates for her, or send her
    some nice flowers.

    What you should do when you are waiting for a wedding dinner
    which take forever to start ?

    Take the camera out and start click click click and click lah !

    What else ?

    p/s : Today we include a new formula derrived by Professory
    Philips a/l Wong

    Formula :

    CTZ = GMT + 8 + 1.5 Hour.
    How to get CTZ ?

    GMT + 8 = Malaysian Time Zone
    CTZ + 8 = Malaysian Time Zone + 1.5 hour.

    Hence CTZ 7:00 pm would be Malaysian Time 8:30 pm.

    For those wedding dinner which says 7:00 pm or 7:30 pm.
    Please use the below formula to get accurate time when
    the dinner to start.

    If you don't know how to use the formula, find ways to
    entertain yourself for the 1.5 hours !!

    F1 Grand Prix at Bukit Jalil ??

    While waiting for the dinner which was suppose to start
    at 7 pm sharp ( oh ! I forgot, chinese time zone eh? )

    I went to outside of the restaurant and saw some golfer returning
    from their game or practice.

    Zoooommmm !! 334 kmph !! That was fast !!

    This should be Team Susu Kacang Soya from Kuala Lumpur,
    driven by Mr Chong and co driver En Ramli !

    I am the Sun and I am coming out to fry your ass!!

    My name is Sun, and I like to fry people's ass !!

    I am going to fry you so deep that you wake up as Snow White
    and by the time when you go to sleep you would look like
    Semi Value !!

    And oh Semi , thanks for the toll hike !!

    Fart you very much !!

    Sunrise at PJ for Fat Lady !!

    Woke up this morning and saw that the sky was very oranged !!

    Grabbed my Sony V3 and Panasonic Lumix FZ30 and ran to the
    2nd floor of the townhouse opposite of where I stay and OMG !!

    Click click click click and click !!

    Saturday, January 06, 2007

    Snake Plissken and me.

    Yesterday evening I done a 2 movie marathon, watched Soldier and
    Sky High lolrotf !!

    Once upon a time, I really like Kurt Russel very very much, now the
    feeling is still there, but it is heart breaking to see a actor that you
    like very much getting old, right ?

    Remember that guy as Snake Plissken ? What the hell on earth kind
    of parents would name their kids Snake Plissken ?

    Somemore one eye can't see mia -_-"

    I am going to name my kid David Talapoz or Johny Karipoz !!

    How about that ?

    OMG I was so damn 堕 落 !! OMFG !!

    But I had some good time enjoying the show and eating some really
    sweet orange !!

    After the show, my room was filled with Orange mia aroma !!!



    Friday is normally a busy day for me to settle everything, regarding
    works and customers. Because a lot of people don't work on

    And Saturday, unfortunately I have to work, 1/2 day in the office
    and it is always not that productive cause 1/2 day seems to be
    unable to accomplish too much of stuff.

    Saturday would be used for meeting and discussion and some
    paper works things, not nice !!

    However once finish work on Saturday, normally after 2pm of
    Saturday would be the Happy Hour already !

    Evening of Saturday would be the best :) Cause Sunday and
    wake up late or sleep until 8 or 9 am, no need to rush and wake
    up. But if I were to wash the F-117 I need to wake up at 7:30 to
    catch the perfect weather -_-"

    Sunday afternoon would be used to quickly recharge the mind
    battery, and try to get a good rest, but often would be spent
    watching DVD and reading news paper and so.

    And from 6pm onwards of Sunday the Monday blue begins,
    that time I would feel that wtfknnbbq why the Saturday and
    Sunday go so fast and so quick, before I know it it's all gone already ??
    why ??

    And, from the past experiance, holidays mari macam siput,
    hilang macam semut!

    So, today is Saturday and I am going to appreciate every
    moment of it and Sunday yeah ?

    And is there any medicine in the market that could cure
    Monday Blue disease?

    Actually there is a remedy, that is 5 days work, really !!

    The first time when I was enjoying the 5 days work during my
    previous work, on Saturday morning I woke up confused, don't know
    what day is what ?

    Like waking up on Saturday and wonder," Geeee ! Is today Saturday
    or Sunday?" and let me tell you that is a lovely feeling !! Especially
    when you realize that it is only Saturday morning !!

    The point is ? I deeply madly missed the 5 days work, boss !! could
    you read this? Please ? Please Please ?

    Thursday, January 04, 2007

    F-117 and landing light.

    2 weeks ago I went to an East Cost town on a peace mission.

    1:00 am woke up from Damansara Military Base.

    2:00 am F-117 warmed up and take off.

    7:00 am F-117 left side landing lights not functioning.

    System LCD :" Warning, landing light failure ! "

    Me:" Wtf ? Just got it changed 6 months ago !!"

    Arrived at Kuala Krai Airbase , Jalan Ah Sang and made
    an emergency landing.

    I walked into the Airbase and the techician Ah Tat was
    there smiling to me.

    Me:" Good morning, Tat, how are you doing ? "

    Tat:" Morning Captain, I am fine, you good too ? "

    Me:" I am ok but the left landing light is not !! Need you
    to get me one !"

    Tat:" Oh ! Landing light ? Need 24 hours for us to order!"

    Me:" I don't have 24 hours, just a bulb change mate !"

    Tat:" Cheh ! I thought you said light mah, if bulb small case!"

    Me:" So gimme 2 bulbs then ! "

    Tat:" Ok ! There you go ! Rm 24 for 2 bulbs, free plastic !!"

    Me:" Har ? Rm12 per bulb only ah ? knnbbqwtfccb the KL
    technician charged me RM 25 per bulb ! "

    Tat lol !

    Me:" So it is easy to change the bulb ourself one hor ? "

    Tat:" Oh it is so easy only, really really easy ! "

    Me:" Really ? "

    Tat:" Yeah, really easy if you know how to change it !"

    Me -_-" wtf ?

    Anyway, later of the day I managed to changed the bulb
    myself in about 5 minutes time, not that difficult at all.

    How I know how to clean the throttle body and change
    the bulb already yeah, not bad !! : )

    Community Service 2007

    For the past few days, I would recommend and strongly suggest
    you all to stay away from any Primary and Secondary school.

    Cause for the past 2 days the traffic around the schools were
    practically sardine and ikan bilis !!

    Sardine means that the cars were packed like stupid sardine
    while the amount of parents who took days off to accompany
    their children to school were as many as ikan bilis !!


    What the hell is wrong with the parents nowadays ?

    We had bicycle and school bus back then in the good old days
    for the rich kids, and for the poor kids like us, we had legs !!

    Legs are for walking to school !!

    And we don't go to school with our kakak maid carrying our
    bags for us.

    And our parents no need to wait outside the class and no need
    to wait for us to eat during recess time.

    No wonder nowadays the kids can't even think straight !

    When I was a kid,

    Teacher, " You are to eat when I tell you to eat, and read when
    I tell you to read, do I get myself clear ? And give me Hoo Haa !"

    We," Hoo Ha Captain ! "

    Teacher," I can't hear you !! You all sissy !!! "

    We," Hoo Ha Captain !!!!! "

    now that's discipline and training and education !!

    Going to school with kakak maid and parents fetch ??

    That's for Ah Kua !!

    Tuesday, January 02, 2007

    The eggs from White House Kota Bharu.

    As I have mentioned before I was at the White House coffee shop
    the other day with Peng Siong and was having a good time there
    with the Roti Bakar and Telor Semi Masak.

    2nd morning my parents went there -_-" and I joined them later.

    Second morning I guess the shop owner has more time to prepare
    the eggs and everything.

    Result? Eggs were more well done, like the eggyork were harder
    and the bread were, hmmm, crispier and darker.

    Oh and by the way, the 2 pictures above were taken by Sony Ericsson's
    W810i walkman phone, 2 mega pixel, 1632 x 1224 pixels, f2.8 and 1/30s.


    And I am very afraid now !! Really really afraid !!!

    If in 2005 and 2004, every time I washed my car, it rained 12 hours
    later, like if I washed the car in the morning, it rained in the night.

    If I wash my car in the night, it rained in the second morning.

    That was bad, isn't it ?

    Well, in 2006, it turned from bad to worst.

    I washed the car at 8:30 am, it rained at 11:00 am !!

    If washed the car at 6:00 pm, it rained at 10 pm -_-" !!

    From bad to worst, isn't it ? Right ?

    Then what do you call something which is badder then worst?

    What do we freaking call that ?

    Don't know? Well let me tell you, what is bedder then worst is

    When you wash your car, it rained 1/2 way after you put all
    the foams and soaps and everything on your car.

    It rained half way !!! Blardy half way !!

    You tell me, shouldn't I be afraid right now? Should I ???

    Who know next year in 2008, everytime before I wash my
    car, I just think of washing my car, it rains ??

    How would that be if that is the case ?

    That's very sophisticated indeed yeah ?