Tuesday, November 30, 2010

The One About Calling from Sabah

A few days ago, a friend of mine called for help and over the
phone, " Eh ! Need your help, i am drinking @ Sabah now !! But my 
Ipad cannot get connected to Wifi and browse the net lah ! "

Me, " Wah ! Ipad, i am not very sure about the setting for  it's Wifi woh!"

Friend, " How ? "

Me, " I need to have the device with me, in order to help ya!"

Friend, " Ok Ok ! Never mind "

Me, " sorry ya ! eh eh ! Buy seafood for me har !!! hehehe! "

15 mins later that friend arrived at my home.... -_-"

Me, " Knnbbq ! You said you were at Sabah just now ? "

Friend, " I said I was in drinking nice coffee at  Starbucks ! 
and I was having problem connecting my wifi using my Ipad. 
And why the hell did you ask me to buy seafood for you from
Sabah for??? Now fix my Ipad . go.go.go  !!!! "

Me, " -_-" ok loh "

Starbucks sounds very close to Setapak and Sabah sometimes....

My ears are bad also sometimes.....

The One About Ah Pok

Ah Pok put these in his MSN status.

我从此以后对此君另眼相看 佩服·佩服!!!! -_-"

also 从此以后吃饭时不看人家的MSN 的 status.....

Friday, November 26, 2010

The One About Your Hairdresser is more terror than my Hairdresser

My rich friend, " Eh ! where do you normally go get your hair dressed?"

Me," errr... infront of my mirror of my bath room loh... "

My rich friend, " I mean, which shop you normally go ? Lot 10 ? 
Pavilion ? Sri Hartamas ? USJ ? Which area ?"

Me, " Oh i have my own regular guy fixing my hair... "

My rich friend, " Your hairdresser from which country ? Mine is from
Hong Kong quite experienced chap, i booking normally 2 days in 
advance can get already. "

Me, " Oh mine no need booking one, he is from Mumbai, i walk in, 
he shake his head, " cut ? " i answered, " yes cut but not too short "
and in 10 mins time i leave RM7 and go home with short hair.

And i sometimes use my bicycle to go to this shop..."

My rich friend, " WTF ? RM7 ? My dog cut hair also RM100 over a pop!"

Me, " Your hair and your dog's hair got gold mah, mine black one."

Thursday, November 25, 2010

The One About Negative Temperature

A friend of mine was going abroad and expected would be winter
with negative ( minus ) temperature. He is also bringing his
DSLR to that destination.

Worried about the extremely cold temperature, he was asking us
on tips and tricks to protect the DSLR from negative temp.

Him," I am very worried about by DSLR and the temperature lah!
some friends suggested dry box, silica gel and stuff like that.. but
these are more for moisture right ?"

I said, " I see, this is pretty simple and free solution here !"

Him," Huh ? Really ? how ?"

Me,"  You go ahead and bring your DSLR to your destination."

Him, " Then ? "

Me, " When the temperature drops to negative / minus , you hold
your DSLR in your hand...and close to your face... "

Him, " Then ? Then ? I blow at it ah ? fooo...foooo.. foooo.. like that ?"

Me, " No lah my dear !! Don't do that, your breath got moist also!

 You should then say something negative to the DSLR like, you stupid
camera, or you slow shutter camera, or you small sensor camera or
you lousy piece of ISO equipment, you ain't worth nothing.... perhaps
some hokkien &^@^^#^!%!%&&*(#$#^^!%% too... "

Him, " Why ? Why ??? "

Me, " Cause , last time my math teacher said, Negative and Negative
becomes positive .... confirmed one ! "

Me, " or you can go to kuwait, cause they ban DSLR there...loh..."

Him," You go get hump by an elephant ! "

Me," lmao ! " run away really fast....

Friday, November 19, 2010

The One About 门口与电梯

赶不及上到 楼上便在电梯里分娩了,
她又不好意思, 又觉得很害羞,

妇科医生:"哎呀 !! aunty 您别难过啦!!"

太太:" 这太不好意思了嘛 !!!"

妇科医生: "别哭...别哭..... 去年有个大肚婆更够力leh,
在医院门口, 就 terus 生了leh, 更加 jiat lat 啦!!!"

太太哭得更大声了:" 那也是我来的lah !!!"

医生:" oppppssss !!! "

Wednesday, November 17, 2010

The One About Solution

A love running everywhere uncontrollable child is a major headache
for a lot of parents. Here comes the solution....

下午,做了一份 Nutella 朱古力面包,刚要吃时。

Fat Lady,"给我一口可以吗?"


Fat Lady,"求求你啦!"

Me," 就只有这一口 harr!!"

Fat Lady, "好的,谢谢你!!!"



The One About Hot

Define hot ?

Answer:" When it is 39° Celsius out there... "

The One about Professional

What is a Pro ?

Answer, " When you can park your car really really to near the wall, like 5mm or 10mm away......"

One About Bachok

Darn I missed Bachok so much !!

The One That Rainy Days

Darn I love Rainy Days....

The One About White Paper

Just now at lunch near Damansara....

Fat Lay, " Errr... what is White paper already ah ? "

Me, " What paper is a kind of official report, normally from authorities or government or a trusted body, that they publish a statement or report which addresses and explains certain issue, problem or causes, like, a white paper on why certain GLC is not performing, or white paper on why is a Stadium collapse after 2 years in was built. and.."

Fat Lady, " STOP !!!! "

Me, "What ? I am not done yet... "

Fat Lady, " Answer me one thing... "

Me, " Ok , what ? "

Fat Lady, " What is a White Paper Crab ? "

Me, " Harrr ? Where got White Paper on Crabs one ? "

Fat Lady, " Look there ? " Point point....

Me, " LMAO ! White Pepper Crab lah Oiyo !! "

The One About GMA !!!

Just now when I was checking my emails suddenly Fat Lady pointed at
my screen and shouted, " Wow !!! "

Me, " What ? "

Fat Lady, " You are using DOS meh ? "

Me, " Nope , Vista... "

Fat Lady, " Why all text and green stuff one ? "

Me, " This is Dosta... "

Fat Lady, " Bodoh lu ! "

Me, " No lah, it's my gmail screen, there is this Terminal themes."

Fat lady, " You are so damn 1970s ok ? "

Me, " No woh, real man uses DOS... and command prompt !"

Fat Lady, " then you should format C: your lap top lah !!"

Me, " Wah wah wah !! Format C: also you know ah ???? "

Fat Lady, " Abuthen ? Your eyes not painful meh ?"

Me, " A bit actually loh... "

Fat Lady, " Then why continue to use it ? "

Me, " GMA ok ??? Gaya Mesti Adaaaaaa "