Monday, March 28, 2011

The One About The Smart Guy

Was with Marko my friend yesterday and he was cooking Spaghetti for me and his
girl friend. It was really nice and taste like the Pro.

So i decided to say something nice to thank him.

Me, " Hei Marko, you really can cook nice and tastely Spaghetti ya ? "

Marko, " Thank you,  you got taste , man .. "

Me -_-" I compliment him, he also able to double compliment himself....



Before the lunch we went swimming at 1 pm in an open swimming pool. And Marko
looked like the Lobster after that when having Spaghetti.....

Marko, " You don't get sun burnt meh ? Adoiii !! So painful now ! "

Me, " errr... no, i don't feel anything woh.. " and was so proud !

Marko, " You know maybe your skin very thick, so no feeling, my skin very
thin, so fast alrready painful .... "

Me, " Yeah right !! " and went home happily.

This morning, me, " Oh ! Darn Marko, i also get sun burnt lah !! "

Marko, " Oh great, not only me, you also get ya ? Baru fair like this, and now i
cannot wear my shirt, very painful !!  Have to work naked, and make the gf
very horny !! "

Me lmaozhedong !!!

Saturday, March 19, 2011

The One About Ah Chuah


前几天, 老蔡的太太突然跟老蔡说:
" Dear 老公 .... 我想吃龙珠饼.... 可以吗?? "

老蔡是出名疼老婆的,  便二话不说, 开车四个小时 terus
到槟城去买了三盒最出名的龙珠饼, 然后 terus

累到半死, 把饼交给老婆时.

老婆: " 你做莫去槟城买哦 ???? 我那天看到 SS2也是有卖,
人家是想吃SS2 的那间啦... yorrr !! "

老蔡 -________________-" 然后 .....




Friday, March 18, 2011

The One About Pepper Spray !!

Yesterday in lunch was talking to some close co worker and was talking
about people getting rob nowadays.

David: " Yew ! What is it so scared ? We use pepper spray lah !! "

Me : " Huh ? Pepper spray ? "

David: " Yeap ! Like some country police force use this, can temporary
blind the bad guys while it will not kill him ! "

Me think think & laughed : " ha ha ha ha ha ha !!! "

David abit dulan: " Mr Wong why you laught at me ? "

Me : " No lah ... no lah.... "

David lagi beh song : " Mr Wong , tell me !! tell me !!!! "

Me :"  I was thinking that .... when you aim the pepper spray
at the bad guys... you press and .... hahahahh .... !!! "

David epic beh song :" And then what ???? "

Me:" ......the wind changes direction and the pepper spray goes
into your own eyes... and i imagine you squat down rubbing your eyes
and shouting " ADOOOOOOIIII !"
hence i mar laughed... lorrrr "

David lmaozhedong !! " Wahahahahhaah stupid Kai Hong !!! "

Me : " Pepper spray doesn't spray out pepper ( for cooking ) , it
actually is a mix of gas with chemical stuff which really upset
one's eyes and throat and everything...

Do Not Use Pepper Spray to add flavour to your food too !!"

David; " You stupid Chicken Mr Wong !!!! We also watch
Discovery Channel one also ya !  "

Me, " Err... black pepper chicken ?  hahahahahah !! "

Sunday, March 13, 2011


前几天, 阿弟垂头丧气在家看电视.

我问:"  喂 !! 弟 !! 发生什么事?? "

阿弟回答 :"  今天真气死人 !!! 我帮了人家, 还被人家打了两巴掌!!"

我问:"  哇搞什么鬼 ???  跟我说 !!!! 我帮你报仇 !!! "

阿弟:"  今天, 我搭巴士下 KL 买电脑,  然后在巴士上看到一个肥妹,
在巴士里玩 Ipad, 结果我就被 kam 了两巴掌 !!"

我问: " 那.....你做了什么帮人的事 ?? "

阿弟: " 因为那肥妹没位子坐, 站着,  我要让她位子, 又不敢, 怕她
误会我觉得她怀孕,  那就惨了 loh !!!! "

我 : " 对 !对!! 对!!! "

阿弟: " 那肥妹站着时,  她的短裙被她的屁股夹着,  看来很怪不舒服的.. "

我 -__-"

阿弟: "  结果..... 我就帮她把裙拉出来 lah !! 没那么不舒服嘛.... !!"
 mana tahu  她反过身来赏我一巴掌啦 !! shit ! "

我 -_- " :" 你又说你给人两巴掌 ??? "

阿弟: " 对呀 !!! 她打了我一巴掌..... 我便很害怕啦 ....急忙把她的裙塞
回去原来的样子啦 !!!!  结果便中多一巴掌啦 !!! "

Chikipabooooowwwww !!!!


The One About Oh Pakcik !! Pakcik !!

Was driving the good old Hercules C-130 near Ampang area yesterday and
was cruising smoothly and the temperature was hot and warm. A bit of heavy
traffic and the side wind was mild.

And a moment later there was this Pakcik behind me flashed flashed me with
his high beam -_-"

I looked via mirror, " wow ! Pakcik with whole family in his car... "

Me, " Er... perhaps I cruised too slow.. " increase air speed a bit. Didn't want
to block people with big old fat C-130...

10 second later Pakcik got closer to me and gave me 2 more time of
high beam.

Me -___-" and changed lane from Fast Lane to Middle Lane.

Pakcik also changed lane to Middle Lane and flash flash again
-______-" I was thinking, was this Pakcik going to make me stop,
rob me, punch me at kkc ( very painful ) and take my naked photos
and put in facebook ? I don't know Karate one... cham liao this time!

I almost started to get a little bit annoyed and excited and did the evasive
maneuvering to shake him off.

And I saw my instrument panel " lights on "  Oh !!! OK !!! and I smile :)

Was in basement car park before that and must have forgotten to switch off
the landing lights .... hehehehehe.... and the nice Pakcik was trying to remind
me to turn of the lights cause it was like 12 pm in the noon ..... and Pakcik
was a consistent person too...

Terima Kasih Pakcik ! Semoga Pakcik dan Sekeluarga Sihat Selalu.
Anak , cucu , cicit dan saudara mara semua pun Sihat ya :)

There is a saying in my country, if within 5 minutes, 4 girls grin at you,
don't be so proud and get the wrong idea and think you are hot....

Check your darn zipper.....

Thursday, March 10, 2011

The One About Seremban -________________-"

Was driving along Seremban and it showed the external temperature " 44 celcius "



The One About You Think You Can Park Like Me Meh ??

There was this guy in my office who think that he could park his car like i did
(leaving 3 mm of space) only for the ants to move.

The result ? Super Epic Hamplang Long Zhong Sama Kaliao Fail of 2011 !!

Some paint transfer is unavoidable in this scenario !!

The One About Non C130 Hercules

The other day was going out for dinner with Ah Cat and Ah Lian. I was driving
Ah Cat's car and left my C-130 Hercules at home.

While waiting for the traffic lights we were chatting and discussing about the
features and functions in the cabin.

Me, " Your steering could be adjusted to a higher position so that you can see
the instrument panel more clearly.. " and adjust adjust the steering height.

Ah Cat, " Oi Oi ! don't disturb my settings !! "

And suddenly the engine stalled and went dead... and the traffic light turned
green ... -_-" geeee... great timing !!!

Ah Cat, " ZOMG KNNBBQ ! This is so embarrassing !!!"

Me, " No worries !" and put on the hazard / emergency signal lights...

Ah Cat , " Oh no !! My reputation !! " covered covered face .....

Me, " This is Damansara, people recognize my C-130 hercules and will not 
know that I am stuck in this Twin Otter with stalled engine, hence i don't have
to cover my face and i will be brave ... restart darn it !! restart !!!! ... "

Engine didn't response like the Twin Otter without battery and fuel like that...

Ah Cat, " Fast fast start engine lah ! OIYOH !! "

Me corrected the steering back to it's original height and turned the ignitions,
VOILA !! The engine started, shift D and hit gasssssss !!!

Ah Cat still covered her face, " Anyone looking at me ?"

Me, " No ! We are long gone already... "

Ah Cat, " hahahahhah... stupid lah you ! "

Me, " Not me, your car !! Where got car which goes stalled when we adjust
the steering wheel height one ? "

Ah Cat, " Where got people go and adjust steering wheel height when driving
one ? "

Me, " Got ! When the steering is blocking the tummy from breathing ! "

Ah Cat, " Now shaddap and bring me to dinner... "

Me, " Affirmative ..... "

Ah Cat, " I am SOOOOO going to tell this to Fat Lady... "

Me, " Tell loh... tell loh... "

Wednesday, March 09, 2011

The One About The Ipad

Was able to loan the Ipad from Ah Cat a few days ago and was testing
it for the features ( err.. ) past few days.

Fat Lady, " Darn this Ipad is sure pretty and precise small thing ya ! "

Me, " Yeah, neat toy !! "

Fat Lady, " Ok later we watch DVD using this ya ! "

Me, " Nope we can't !! "

Fat Lady, " Huh ? Why ? I want to watch some new movie woh ! "

Me, " Cannot ! cause it doesn't have DVD drive ! "

Fat Lady, " Harrrr ?? Then how to watch DVD ? "

Me pointed at the DVD Player under 3 inches of dust ,
" that one and a thing called TV ... "

Fat Lady, " Darn ! Everything must via I-tunes ya ? "

Me , " You very panlai also lah !! No SD Card, No USB Port, apa
boleh buat ??  "

Fat Lady, " Can let mama to chop vegetable and some cut meat also ya!
so thin, can also use as tray to serve cold drinks to our guest !!  "

Ah Cat , " Oi Oi Oi !! YOU ALL !! Nak kena ah ?? "

Me, " Can stick at my toilet wall, can play game while poo poo !! "

Ah Cat, " Oi Oi Oi !! YOU ALL BASKET !! Gimme back my Ipad !! "


The One About Eh Wopppss !!!

A few days ago, was doing some online things while Ah Cat was
preparing for a flight to Europe. She was packing packing and
wanted to know the weather of destination....

Ah Cat, " Can you please check for me what is the temp of Rome?"

Me, " Rome as of Romania ? "

Ah Cat 2 legs in the sky.... " Rome of Italy lah ! What was your
Geography grade ? Epic Fail ? or Master Super Fail ??  "

Me, " Soli Soli... they all sounded the same and, far far the
way it should be called Roma ( Rom Mahhh )"

A moment later, " Oh got that, it's about 33 degree, ... hence no need to
bring so much of cloths, weather almost like Kuala Lumpur.."

Ah Cat -_______-""
" Wait a second.... should be quite cold now as I remembered, are
you sure ? let me see , let me see.... "

Me, " Nah..... see ? 32 ... 33 degree like that !! I am always right! you
can bring bikini and sexy pants there wahoo !! wahoo !!!"

Ah Cat, " What lah you ! 32- 33 degree Fahrenheit ok ? 
It's like 0 degree celcius lah ! It is darn cold ! somemore ask me
to wear Bikini there ah ?? " slapped my head with the Ipad...

Me, " Aduiii !!! Eh ! Woppsss !! This darn Ipad no good one, 
why shows tempeture in Fahrenheit one ? "

Ah Cat, " Hak elleh ! Don't blame the Ipad !! Stupid user problem ok ? "

Me, " hehehehehe... soli ... soli... "