Tuesday, February 27, 2007
Did you know that the Beach Pantai Cahaya Bulan was last time
called Pantai Cinta Berahi ?
Until someone changed them to Pantai Cicak Bodoh
Pantai Cahaya Bulan is more comply with some standards
and SOP and stuff like that woh ?
But something will never change, the sea water is still salty
and sky is still blue.
And the anglers out there are still having a good time with
big fish or small fish regardless who is the boss today !!
Damn!! Kelantan is a good place !!
It's good weather out there with rather strong winds at the
beach, so everyone was selling kites and everyone was almost
playing kites too : ) Lovely !
Fat Lady was busy taking photos cause she is damn kampung.
Kota Bharu people are very lucky cause the distance of beach from
the town is about 8 km only.
You could take a mini bus, take a bike, cycling, jog or run to the
beach, but for me, Delinda Deline ( former F-117 ) took us there.
KL to Port Dickson ? -_-" oh don't get me started on this one !!
Monday, February 26, 2007
To all my Hokkien friends and relatives, happy 拜 天 公 ing !!
To my surrounding Hokkien neighbours, same to you too :)
and thanks for making me felt like at War Zone for the past
All of you had done your air strike, ground strike, marine strike,
Navy strike and all possible strike with your heavy ammo from
You all had Team Alfa, Bravo, Charlie at north, east and west
of Kayu Ara area and you all have done a very good job creating
Dolby(tm) Digital Surround Sound with HD Visual -_-"
Hundreds of ringgit if not thousands has been spent by you all
and I am sure that your objectives of thanking and praying to
Gods has been achieved.
Collateral bonus, the Indonesian workers around Kayu Ara had
the most wonderful firework displays brought to them live
infront of their doors !!! No need to go all the way to Lake
Me ? It's ok for me cause everything ended at 12:46 am and
i like the smell of burnt sulfur and gun powder ( -_-" )
Again, wishing all Happy 拜 天 公 ing !!!
12:52 am, finally the atmosphere has gone back to
pre war or post war era already.
I sumpah I could hear the neighbour uncle snooring now!
knnbbq ! How could I let him win ? I am going to sleep
and make louder snores that he does !!
Aku misti menang !!
Wednesday, February 21, 2007
still at Taman Kuala Krai. Lovely place !!
It was really misty and the fog was thick, meaning that
it is going to be a very hot day later -_-" , i think today
i would probably would be roasted pig also.
Happy Pig Year 2007 mate !!
After spending so many days in Kuala Krai here are some
fun facts ( not all correct I guess ) about Kuala Krai.
but it actually has 2 set of traffic lights only but the later has, errr
many many sets of traffic lights.
friendlier smile !!
everyone knows ( at least would accuse ) you've been in love with
that particular girl.
can't move = Rm 19.00 only -_-".
More to come mate !
Monday, February 19, 2007
Sunday, February 18, 2007
Friday, February 16, 2007
1 800 88 0000 <== Plus traffic hot line.
09 547 9111 <== East coast traffic hot line.
Prepare a few bottles of plain water in car.
Prepare some bread and fruits in car.
Prepare some chewing gums in car.
Prepare some empty bottles in car.
Why empty bottles in car leh ? Go figure out.
This is a community service brought to you by
Philips at work dot com dot gov dot my slash
comm service dot html
Happy Chinese New Year.
At Sunway area ( near Public bank, yes near Pondok Police )
they were confronted by a youngster with a knife.
The youngster grabbed my sales girl handbag.
She tried to pulled the handbag back.
The youngster pulled harder.
She suddenly saw his knife and let go.
The youngster lost balance and fall on ground
cause she suddenly let go of the hand bag. Lost balance !!
Seeing this, my sales girl and the husband surrounded
the poor kid and kick and beat the crap out of him.
The poor kid then ran away. Got anything ?
Yes whole face bruise and blue black !!
My sales girl ? Lost anything ?
Yes, lost her high heel don't know to
where when she was busy kicking and
beating the so called robber.
2nd day, my sales girl took Emergency leave.
Reason : whole body too tired and ache here
ache there, because never warm up before
beating and kicking the robber.
She said today," I am going to farking remember
this year mia Valentine forever cause we rawked !! "
Me -_-" like this also can ?? Shocked
Wednesday, February 14, 2007
happy "guy kena torture like hell "day
Hitch customer says:
hihi, good morning
Cost of blue rose = RM 80 ( only flower )
Cost of red rose = RM 20 ( only flower )
Cost of Tau Fu Far + Gula Melaka = RM 1.50 per bowl
( hot or cold also can )
Hitch customer says:
your gf ask you to buy?
sure go for Tau Fu Far lah
Hitch customer says:
My gf know my 死 人 款 she will not ask me to buy
she would be happy enough if i bring her out for SS2
Hitch customer says:
Hitch customer says:
last year i hinted my BF to buy 百合, 3 for RM80.
but finally he bought 12 roses, cost him RM200+
that rich gay guy !
So this year what is his plan ?
Hitch customer says:
this year no plan
and i also do not expect anything from him
guy is like that one,
1st or 2nd year you will get nice and warm gift.
3rd year onward pretend nothing
4th year onward everyday same
5th year onward lagi everyday same same
7th year ( like me ) , velentine day ah ? Let's go eat hokkien mee loh
Hitch customer says:
why like this har?
Let me tell you what to do.
Pura pura bring back some flowers from office to home today.
or tomorrow, say some peminat send you one.
Hitch customer says:
On and off do that to 刺 激 him.
he will become damn takut
i gurantee you , 马上立竹见影
he will be as polite as a litte cat
be as hardworking as a bee at home.
and be romance like a French guy
Hitch customer says:
is your gf do the same thing to u??
She didn't, but i am a consultant sometimes.
like the guy Hitch , you know?
Hitch customer says:
like to wish everyone Happy Guy Kena Torture Like Hell
day and may you all kena torture like hell !!
Yesterday Doc : " MCH ! Blue rose RM 80 each!"
" Red rose RM 20 each ! That is only flower without
the accessories yet !! "
Me lolrotf ! " Get Tau Fu Far instead ! RM 1.50 per
bowl, with extra Gula Melaka ! "
This morning over radio, a radio listener complained
over national radio like this
" Haih ! I know my husband for 18 years, he never
bought me anything ! "
DJ:" Really ? Maybe he will change leh ? "
Caller:" Neah ! He will
DJ lolrotf !!!
Don't lah complain about your husband or boyfriend over the
national radio ok or not ? LOLOL
Another radio DJ:" If must buy something for the girlfriend
or wife, you could learn from me."
DJ:" I bought washing machine and LCD TV for my wife
this year ! All also I can use one ! Muah ha ha ha ha !!"
The other DJ strangled himself with the mike lolol !!!
Anyway, Happy valentine to you all and guys, I pity you
all kena torture like hell muah ha ha ha ah ah!!!
I am already bullet proof !!
Monday, February 12, 2007
First one of my sales person went to Genting last night and
watched this face changing art show from China. She was so
excited and came back and showed us what she has recorded
via hand phone -_-"
My other sales person watched the whole 10 minutes short
clip happily !! Noisy and a lot of sound mia video clips ok ?
I almost stood up and " Oi ! No government ah ? " but I didn't.
I also didn't shout:" Oi ! Boh Cheng Hu ah 没 政 府 ah? ? "
did i ?
Just now the whole office became noisy again cause the our
annual dinner arrangement has this lucky draw, menu & dish
discussion and everything.
I almost stood up and " Oi ! No need to work ah ? "but I didn't.
It's 12 pm right now and the whole office is deserted cause
everyone has gone for lunch.
I almost stood up and " Oi ! No need to work ah ? " but I didn't
because I went for lunch just now at 11:30 am buah ha ha ha ha!!
I didn't oi at everyone cause it is Chinese New Year mood and
everyone is excited and happy about it.
I didn't oi at my staff because Chinese New Year is really important
for Chinese company like this one.
I didn't oi at my staff because I appreciate them very much, and
what the hell, one rampage a year and one crazy week a year would
not hurt the business, right ?
Me:" Oi oi oi !! Where is my Ang Pao ?? where is my
Ang pao ???"
Oh did you know that in some other places ( then malaysia ) the
red packet that you get during Chinese New Year is not called
Ang Pao ( 红 包 ) ? It is called Lai Shi ( 利 事 ) instead.
So where the heck is my Ang Paoliggem and Lai Shilinggem ??
Where ? Where where ???
Happy Chinese New Year 2007 and may you all have a good
and prosperous year ahead.
with Fat Lady and her brothers. We were walking towards the
car park beside at the end of the road ( downhill ).
There was this couple holding hands walking towards me, and
they were walking side by side, like very 恩 爱 like that -_-".
I was walking alone as Fat lady and the rest were at the back.
2 meter away from me and the couple are still walking side by
side towards me, what the hell ?? they were expecting me to
give way to 2 person so they could continue to hold hands and
walk straight ? Am I invisible ? Or I am that thin that they
couldn't notice me ? ( gee that would be good ! )
I became damn dulan, I inhaled a lot of air in my chest and the
chest expanded from 42 inches to 82 inches ( ladies, don't get
jealous ok ? ) and I stood there like a rock !!!
Want me to give way? Can !! But this is just not the way !!!
Seeing these, the couple became damn worried and their went
apart, one at the front and one at the back, and avoided me
I said," Smart choice !! " and they ran away really fast....
What would happen if I stood there and they continue to walk
and hit me ?
Probably they would fly to the moon if I push them gently.
Perhaps they would fly to the next Galaxy if I push hard!!
If I don't push, perhaps they would land at Sekinchan or Sabak
Bernam kot ?
Of course I would not push them or purposely hit them on the
shoulder, my 10% British blood just wouldn't allow me to do
So next time if you see me standing infront of you with my chest
expanded and pushed to 82 inch until the 乳 沟 also come out...
You'd better run or you could walk past me nicely , if you choose to
confront me, 20 seconds later you would be either landing in the
moon ( oxygen mask required ), Sabak Bernam or Sekinchan, and
sometimes Jawa Teluk Intan ok ?
Stupid couple !!
Very very simple, sleep from 7 pm onwards on Sunday night
till Monday morning and go to work directly, buah ha ha ha !!
Yesterday (Sunday) woke up at 7 am something and went
doing a lot of things outside and finally able to go home and
rest at 6 pm something.
Rest means nap, but a nap sometimes would turn into sleep
and sleep might turn into hibernate.
yesterday till this morning -_-" .
I wonder what happened to me, must be the chocolates that I
took which contains sleeping agent eh ?
Anyway, this morning I felt really fresh and energetic and woke
up at 6:30 am. Went poo poo and prepare breakfast and
By the way, Kuala Lumpur and Petaling Jaya, in fact the rest of
Malaysia is really really hot these days eah ??
When I was a kid I remember in the morning when I woke up
there was a feeling called Cold one you know ? But now, knnbbq
every morning also woke up with T shirt which is partially wet,
not because of the wet dream ( old man don't get wet dream no
more ) , because the weather is so damn hot !!
Took bath and everything, and whole forehead full of sweat again?
that's typical morning for me.
I missed the kampung morning which was so cold that after one
take bath his/her lips become pale or purple in colour, the nipple
became hard like rock and the kkc shrunk like peanuts lolrotf !!
But I skipped Dinner last night and saved RM 5 anyway, yahoo !!
Sunday, February 11, 2007
towards Damansara I was cruising on Jalan Tun Razak.
It was around 12:20 am and fat lady was the co-pilot and
she was busy checking surrounding air traffic.
F-117 ( Soon to be renamed to Delinda Deline, lovely eh? )
was crusing at around 80kmph because Jalan Tun Razak
was still rather busy then.
A warm Friday night and weekend in KL, what would you
expect to see ?
As usual, Mat Rempit just loves to roam and foam on Friday
night. ( Now where are our police officers? ) and when I
passed the PWTC there was a group of Mat Rempit started
to accelerate and began their stunts in groups.
Typical and standard would be drive fast, zip zap between
cars, and bend their body to reduce air resistance so that
their torso and head would be like on the motorbike seat
and headlamps area.
And in my F-117 radar showed that there were about 6 of
them, I told co pilot, " Look, bogey 12, 2, 9 and 7 o clock !"
Copilot:" Sgt, it is 12:15 am midnight now sir! why are you
saying 12 o clock, 2 o clock, 9 o clock leh ? "
Me bite my fingers !!!! And almost press the co pilot eject
button and let co pilot eject to Kuala Selangor !!! Cis!!
Copilot:" Let me see your watch, something wrong meh?"
Copilot:" Told you don't buy Jalan Petaling Rolex liao lok!
now all time wrong liao !! "
Oh I was so depressed !!! What to do ? what do to?
Me -_-" and beh tahan liao and shouted :
" Look out there, bogeys everywhere !"
Copilot 如 梦 初 醒 and :" Oh ! I see them I see them!! Could
I arm the weapon and shot them down?"
Copilot activated the AAM and 20mm canon gun.
HUD had the 6 of the targets and target locked, " Beep"
20mm would spray 4 down, the rest 2 via AAM.
Copilot:" We've got tone! We've got tone !!"
The mat rempits went further like 20 meters infront of
F-117 and that would be perfect spot for target.
Copilot:" We've got tone ! Target locked in sight!"
Me:" Forget it! Not worth it ! Disengage ! Disengage!"
Me:" Let others teach them a lesson, we don't fire
unless we were fire upon, remember?"
Me:" We practice evasive maneuvering and defensive
I didn't know that my decision has actually saved that
guy's life somehow.
Copilot:" Affirmative ! Target abort ! Abort ! "
And suddenly one of the Mat Rempit which was leading
the formation had a big vibration and his back tyre went
shaking left and right, like you know after people pee wee
they shake the kkc left and right, left and right like that.
F-117 HUD displayed the speed of mat rempit was fast
reducing from 90-100kmph to 80, 60, 40 ....
And the tail lights of the troubled mat rempit went off
and I believe that his engine went busted !!
And his bike was at the fast lane where everyone was
traveling around 90kmph, luckily F-117 was 20 meter
behind him and not some Ah Beng Waja Modified to
If F-117 wasn't there to block some traffic.
If F-117 wasn't keep at least 20 meter distance.
If my experiance didn't tell me that a tiny 100cc
engine would bust and peciah like there is no
Perhaps me or the Lancer behind would crash on
him and send him to Kuala Selangor.
Then, someone in Sabak Bernam
" Mom ! Look ! ET ! ET !! Bike flying over moon!"
Mom:" Shaddap !"
The Mat Rempit was really lucky that his bike didnt'
tumble and roll because engine burst and jam could
cause people to loose control, in high speed case
the bike would langar tiang.
Co pilot:" Wah! Sgt you've got vision man !"
Me:" Cheh ! small case ! "
Co pilot:" You very geng leh ! "
Me:" Move your hands away from my legs!"
Don't rempit no more you all, go learn computer,
start a blog, help your parents , teach your
younger brothers and sister in their homework.
Appreciate life my friends !!
Appreciate what you have ok ?
Happy Weekend !
a shock of my life when I read the contents of the memo.
Memo to all Company and Groups of company of XYZ
From : Mr. T. The Big Big Boss
Date : 11 Feb 2007
Memo to all staffs.
I Mr. T (ic 112233 44 5566 ) hereby declare that from today onwards
I will spend more time with my family, particular my wife Ms EAS
( ic 665544 33 2211 ).
I will spend less time working, be more caring and polite to my wife,
spend more time with my family and my kids.
I will also spend less time in my office and working. I trust that you are
Managing Director of Groups of XYZ
I saw the memo and became -_-" and two legs in the sky and
I woke up !!
Damn, I don't know if this is funny dream or nightmare, recently
I had too much of dream related to my working life.
Is that a good sign or bad sign? Anyone?
Saturday, February 10, 2007
Friday, February 09, 2007
seems funny yeah ?
The Beauty of "MatheMagic"
1 x 8 + 1 = 9
12 x 8 + 2 = 98
123 x 8 + 3 = 987
1234 x 8 + 4 = 9876
12345 x 8 + 5 = 98765
123456 x 8 + 6 = 987654
1234567 x 8 + 7 = 9876543
12345678 x 8 + 8 = 98765432
123456789 x 8 + 9 = 987654321
1 x 9 + 2 = 11
12 x 9 + 3 = 111
123 x 9 + 4 = 1111
1234 x 9 + 5 = 11111
12345 x 9 + 6 = 111111
123456 x 9 + 7 = 1111111
1234567 x 9 + 8 = 11111111
12345678 x 9 + 9 = 111111111
123456789 x 9 +10= 1111111111
9 x 9 + 7 = 88
98 x 9 + 6 = 888
987 x 9 + 5 = 8888
9876 x 9 + 4 = 88888
98765 x 9 + 3 = 888888
987654 x 9 + 2 = 8888888
9876543 x 9 + 1 = 88888888
98765432 x 9 + 0 = 888888888
Brilliant, isn't it?
And finally, take a look at this symmetry:
1 x 1 = 1
11 x 11 = 121
111 x 111 = 12321
1111 x 1111 = 1234321
11111 x 11111 = 123454321
111111 x 111111 = 12345654321
1111111 x 1111111 = 1234567654321
11111111 x 11111111 = 123456787654321
111111111 x 111111111=123456789 87654321
Thursday, February 08, 2007
and walked towards my parked car.
Saw a very nice looking BMW coupe parked illegally between the
space and it irritated me and I cursed cursed cursed.
Suddenly there was this urge for me to fart.
So I farted ( not loud, other people can't hear that )
And the BMW's alarm goes off !!! wtf ??
My sales manager looked at me," Oi ! What have you done?"
Me:" What? I farted only woh ? And I farted 4 meters away
from the BMW woh ! "
My sales manager ran away fast fast !!
Me:" What ? Not smelly one ! no smell one ! come and sniff
and you would know ! "
Wednesday, February 07, 2007
dengan kakinya menghala ke langit.
Mayat tersebut dijumpa dalam kereta kesayangan saya.
Terkejut aku yang teramat !!
Satu satu sebab lipas ini mati dalam kereta saya adalah
Adakah kereta aku begitu kering kontang sehingga lipas pun
boleh mati kelaparan ?
Adakah aku begitu miskin papa sehingga lipas pun boleh
mati kelaparan dalam kereta aku ?
Aisehman !! lain kali terpaksa letak sedikit roti dan biskut
agar lipas dan lain lain organisma tidak akan mati kelaparan
dalam kereta aku lagi !!
Dalam ajaran agama aku, adalah tidak baik untuk menyebabkan
kehidupan lain mati kerana saya.
Saturday, February 03, 2007
Mr Chew:" Kai Hong, you called me ? "
Me:" No, Mr Chew, I wasn't calling you, I have running nose!"
Mr Chew:" Oh ok, don't play play with my name ok ? "
And oh no, after about 4 months from the Great Flu my nose
is started to spray the cendol all over the monitor again.
Must be the air quality again, or am I eating not enough
of fried chicken lately?
In Gua Musang area there are a lot of limestone hill and structure
just like these.
Driving through them and going back home ? Priceless !!
One of the day perhaps I should come here and explore a little bit.
Like John Rambo masuk hutan like that.
183km to go before reaching Kota Bharu from this spot.
Went back to Kelantan and made a quick pit stop at
Gua Musang at 6:45 am.
Sleep and rest until 7:20 am. Woke up and saw the
scene where the clouds were low and dense.
Took out the V3 and started killing memory space
again. buah ha ha ha ha.
Featuring F-117 with Cargo Bay opened.
By the way, F-117 would most probably be renamed to
Delinda Deline really soon.
F-117 seems to be too muscular sometimes.
vacuum cleaner and it's an industrial standard vacuum
cleaner I tell you.
The whole morning there was like a Boing 737 parking infront of
my desk and ready to take off like that.
The turbine sound, the motor sound and everything reminds me
of the good old days at the air port.
When I was a kid in Kota Bharu my parents used to bring me to
KB airport to watch the planes taking off and landing and everything.
After the plane landed or before taking off they would be parked
near the main airport building for loading and unloading purpose.
Dang I really missed the days really really much.
Konnie :" Ah Pa Ah Ma !!! Iyerrrrrr !!!! "
Me:" What happened ? "
Konnie:" Mr Nel go into toilet and never lock the door, I
push the door and saw him pee pee , not facing me lah !"
Me -_-" wtf ?
After Nel finished his business he walked out.
Konnie:" Why you go toilet never lock door one ?"
Nel:" I close the door already mah ! Just like my home !"
Konnie:" This is the office ok ? And this area also we have
unisex toilet, please be careful next time ok ?"
Nel:" Ok loh ! Ok loh ! "
Me two legs in the sky !!
Why nowadays there are a lot of babies working in the
office one ??? Why ?? Why ??? Why ????
Friday, February 02, 2007
bathroom that I am using.
Being a person who didn't like to be stung or get a bite from them, I had
to terminate each of every of them, sorry oh Tuhan yeah !!
There was first a baby centipedes like 1 or 2 weeks ago, I was applying
soap that time, so I just put some soap foam on the baby centipedes and
it went to heaven directly reporting to the officer up there.
Reason? Bugs and insects breath via small holes on their body, and soap
foam or soap water could block these small little air holes and they would
suffer instance suffocation and goes bye bye.
2 or 3 days ago an Uncle Centipede came and visit me when I was in the
bath room again.
Ok , you want to borrow soap foam ? Let me give you soap foam.
Upon soaked in the soap foam the uncle Centipede ( 3 inch long ) went
motionless and I thought it went to heaven already.
Tackled it a little bit and it moved again actively like snake -_-"
Ok fine, you don't like soap ? How about chop chop ? Used an water
wiper and chop kao it's head off !! And throw it away.
Yesterday at toilet Fat Lady was brewing kekwa tea in the wash
room and:" Mueeeekkkkwaaaaaaaaa !!! Apah Amah !! "
Me:" Oi what happen ? "
Fat Lady:" wtfknnbbq centipede lah ! "
Me:" Where ? "
Fat Lady:" Nuh ! Near the cracks there ! "
Me:" Hmm, big or small ? "
Fat Lady:" You see for yourself lah ! "
Me spray spray water and saw Aunty Centipede ( also 2 inches long -_-")
Crikey !!! What the hell ? Has the bath room turned into the hive for
the centipede ?
and Fat Lady reached the Dettol and gave it a small cup.
Me:" Wtf ? Dettol is good for killing germs ok ? Not centipede ?"
Fat Lady:" kih kih kih kih !! "
Me:" To kill it or slow it down, soap foam is good ! "
Me made soap foam and apply on the Aunty centipede and it 2 sec
it became motionless !!
Fat Lady:" Wah ! Canggih lah you ! "
Me:" Actually it is not dead yet, just no motion, see ? "
I sprayed some water on the Aunty centipede and it started moving
again, snake style movement.
Fat Lady:" Help help help !! "
Me:" time to chop chop it's head !" and used the 1 liter Dettol bottle
to smash the head of Aunty Centipede.
Unit lost ! Mission accomplished !!
Fat Lady:" Oh finally it die ! Now go and clean it up ! "
Me:" No way ! "
Fat Lady:" Why ? "
Me:" cause I takut centipede very very much ! "
Fat Lady lolrotf ! And used some titus paper and clean up the
mess and oh ! There was a nother 2cm baby centipede, kena
the soap foam and died on the spot.
That's what we call Ham Kar Chan !!
Hopefully tonight the grandfather and grandmother centipede
will not wait for me on my toilet seat and give my ass a stung!
That time it's my buttock to Ham Kar chan liao !!
Pain pain !! pain pain !!