Thursday, October 21, 2010

The One About Die Die Die !!!!

Ah Lian is having a lot of friends in the kindergarden and she likes
them very much and tell us all sorts of story about her new friends.

One fine day she came back and told us, " Yay ! Today i got new friends!"

Me, " Wow ! Cool, who are they ? "

Ah Lian, " One is Ah Beng and another one is Death ... "

Me spat coffee at the laptop screen while Fat Lady spat chicken rice
in my eyes ( with chili some more... spicy !! )

Me, " What is the name again ? Where got people call Death one ? "

Ah Lian, " Got Got Got !! Death Lee !! Death Lee from Ampang !!"

Me, " Choi !!"

Fat Lay, " Choi Choi ! "

Ah Lian's mom, " Choi Choi Tai Kat Lai Si !! Pui Hau Sui Choi !"

Ah Lian almost got tears in eyes liao, " I am not lying !!! "

Me, " Ok Ok ! I trust you, I trust you ! "

Ah Lian, " I didn't lie lah !! See his name here ? "

Ah Lian showed the name, " Dave Lee "

I covered my eyes this time before Fat Lady spit Fried Chicken
to my face again.

* When kids have their front teeth changed, before the new teeth grow,
they can't pronounce certain words properly.

Dave ==> Death
Dance ==> Denfff
Six ==> Sisfff
Fish ==> Fifth
Dish ==> Diffff....

Please be courteous enough and not to make fun or laugh at the kids
who are at this stage...

But then, Dave Lee become Death Lee woh.....

muahahahahahhahahaah !!

The One About Hah ? What Antenna ??

Ah Lian is 6 years old right now and a lot of time, she is the creator
and the cause of alot of confusion of the house. But when she was 4
or 5 years old, there was more confusion....

One fine day, Ah Lian was pointing at the TV ...

Ah Lian, " Wah ! Mummy, Hah Nah Antenna !!! "

Mami, " Hmmm ? What Antenna ? "

Ah Lian, " Hah Nah Antenna !! " kept pointing at TV...

Mami, " Where got Antenna ? It is Satellite TV baby... "

Ah Lian, " No No !! Antenna !! "

Mami looked at the TV and it was Hannah Montana performing...

Mami -_-" " Haiyoh, Hannah Montana lah !! "

Ah Lian, " Ok Hannah Antenna ... "

Mami 2 legs in the sky.......

Wednesday, October 20, 2010

The One About KPI

In certain organization, a staff's or employee's performance is rated
via KPI ( Key Performance Indicator ).

K = the best one
P = the normal one
I = the not so good one

So the other day the machai asked the boss.

Machai, " Hello Boss, for 2010, what would you rate me?"

Boss, " You mean your performance izzit ? "

Machai, " Yes sir ! What do you think of my performance ?"

Boss, " What do you think you are worth ? "

Machai, " Me ? I of course K lah ! "

Boss, " Ok ! K for you... no problem... "

Machai, " Wah !! Really ah ? So nice lah you bosss !! "

Boss, " No problem... "

Machai, " Boss, you are the best, i love you deep deep !!!"

Boss, " A, B, C, D, E, F, G, H, I, J, and you are K woh !! "

Machai " fuyohalamak !! " and 2 legs in the sky ,
waliew !!!! -_-"

Saturday, October 16, 2010

The One About Hot !!

Right now it is 5 pm. And my room temp is 32.5° Celcius. I am
in the PJ house right now. Outside how warm, i don't want to
know .....

Yesterday morning when I went into my car the outside temp
was 39° Celcius... -_-"

A few weeks ago i woke up @ ampang lair , it was 22° Celcius

I looked at the sun and asked, " Kenapa boleh jadi begini ?"
and was hoping that the Met department would announce that it
would be dry season soon.

Cause previous few years, each time the Meteorological department
announces that it would be dry season for next few months.
It started to rain like no tomorrow, just to embarrass the Met dept.

Comon, let's announce some dry season ?? no ??

Tuesday, October 12, 2010

The One About Wrong Lots of Love !!

A few days ago, Ah Beng's pet dog Ah James died, too old already.
Ah Lian was the best frind of Ah Beng from 1986 till now....
Ah Liam was also very sad cause James used to kiss kiss Ah Lian's
face and hands and everything everytime James see Ah Lian....

That is another story...

So Ah Lian decided to send a text message to Ah Beng to comfort him
and to console him, at the same time, hoping to show Ah Beng that she
cares for him very much ( and etc etc etc... )

The sms read like this, " Hei Ah Beng, i am very sorry to
hear that James passed away, deepest condolence from
me and my family and lol from me to you!!! "

Ah Beng received the SMS and was so angry and called Ah Lian back.

Ah Beng, " You very happy meh now ? "

Ah Lian, " No wor, i am very sad cause James passed away. "

Ah Beng, " Then why you lol in your SMS ? "

Ah Lian, " I really have lol for you mah ! "

Ah Beng, " knnbbq? Niabeh my dog died and you still laughing
out loud at me, you want to fight izzit ? "

Ah Lian, " Huh ? lol is not Lots of Love meh ? "

Ah Beng, " Lots of love your head ! Get lost ! "

Ah Lian, " errr. soli loh !! but i really lots of love mar.. "

Ah Beng, " Dulan ! " and hang up the phone.....

This one is from Johntim.... who is going to Singapore soon
with lolololol !!!


Ah Beng text back Ah Lian, " Hi Ah Lian, sorry to hear that
your car was ran over by a 18 wheels truck and your pet
cat Kitty was in the car, lolol !! "

........ and that was how the fight started...

Sunday, October 10, 2010

The One About Sugar Cane

This morning was having a morning walk with Ah Lian who is 6
years old. As we passed by some trees and plants i tried to show
off that i watched a lot of Discovery Channel and National Geographic.

Me, " See, this is banana trees... coconut trees... bla.. bla bla...."

Ah Lian, " Oh ! Banana tree ! Why this banana so small one ?"

Me, " It is still growing ma... "

Ah Lian, " Ok Ok ... "

Me, " See this one is sugar cane, we always drink sugar cane juice one?"

Ah Lian, " Oh !!! I know I know !! " me damn syiok...

Ah Lian, " This is Shushi King tree ? We eat Shushi from here one ? "

Me, " Sugar cane tree ! "

Ah Lian, " Ya lah ! Sushi King tree la ! I love shushi "

Me jumped into the longkang and took a bath there to cool myself...