The One About Chinese New Year Songs

We normally start hearing Chinese New Year songs ( played in streets )
a few weeks before Chinese New Year and this year a few weeks ago,
even before Christmas approaches, like end November I already heard
Chinese New Year songs being played at SS17 PJ -_-"

I told my sister, " Har ? " and she laughed like hell.

And this morning in the office I played the Chinese New Year songs
which started with, " tong tong tong tong chiaaaaaannnngg !!!
tong lo tong tong chiannnggggggggg !!! "


and my staffs were all, " wtf ?? wtf ?? hoi ! and *&^^%!%&^#$$^ "

but 5 seconds later they all came, " Kai Hong could you please send
that song to me pluuzzseeeeeesss ?? "

Me, " Hmm ? What song ? "

staffs, " Neh ! Just now you played one lor, Chineses New Year song
loh . "

Me," Har ? I thought you all very dulan this song ? And scolded me
for playing that ? "

staffs," No lah, where got scold you ? Give me can or not ? pluuzzee? "

And I played the song again in office with volume set to max !!!

They all covered their ears and ran away !!


Here wishing all a Happy New Year for 2008 and Gong Xi Fa Chai.

T minus 39 days ??

The One About My Panasonic FZ30

After about 2 years using this camera, I must say that I love
it and sometimes hate it and sometimes both at the same time
lolrotf !!

But the most important thing is this one !

" Di mana ada Panasonic FZ30, Di sana ada Noise ! "

* lari !!

The One About Built In Tummy Table

It is great to have tummy table sometimes.

You could put your hands on the tummy table to relax.

You could also put a bowl of rice on the tummy and start
your dinner on your own tummy -_-" who needs a table
anyway ???

You could also put your MP4 player on the tummy and watch
show on your tummy -_-"

At last, and should there be any accident, you already have
one huge SRS Air Bag installed !! Cool....

The Tummy Table Test

To see how big is your tummy or to check if your tummy is too huge,
you may do the experiment below....

1. Sit on a chair.

2. Take a pack of sugar or creamer ( the one at restaurant or hotel )
and put the pack between your chest.

3. If the pack fells down immediately at 120kmph, then you do not
have tummy at all, no chest muscle either !!

4. If the pack slowly go down the hill at 5 kmph, then congratulations,
you have got tummy !!

5. If the pack simply stuck there between your chest and tummy,
then, you are the champion !! Which my cousin Ah Wei became last
night. The pack of sugar was like stuck there between the chest and
stomach lolrotf !!

I laughed so loud that i almost pee in my pants !!

My cousin, " My shirt mia problem ! very sticky shirt ! "

Me, "hahahahah !! Shaddap ! And eat your ice cream ! " lolrtof !!

The One About Fun Facts of Wedding.

A few days ago one of my old school buddies told me that he
learnt something from the process of preparing a wedding.
He told me that the wedding photo company statistic shows
that nowadays, 8 out of 10 people who wed weds because out
of pregnancy.

Me, " WTF ? 8 out of 10 ? "

My friend, " Yes sir ! Statistic from wedding photos company
cause they need to use special angle or special wedding cloths
or stuff like that to hide the , you know.... "

Me, " Walauweh ! That is seriously wrong ! "

My friend, " Well, welcome to 2007 and 2008 lah ! "

Hence , I shared this information with my relatives yesterday
during dinner and my favorite uncle Ong replied below...

Me," Statistic from wedding photo place shows 80% of people
go wedding because of pregnancy ... "

My uncle Ong, " Yeah the rest 20% go wedding after they give
birth to the baby or babies !! Itu banyak bagus what ? You know
carrying baby or babies at the photo shop and take group photos !!"

I terus 2 legs in the sky !!

What. Kind. Of. Answer. Is. This ????????

The One About Hot Curry Rice.

Today as usual I was having my lunch at the Indian food store and
by the time I came back to office my whole head was full of sweat
cause the food was darn hot & spicy ( good one ! )

My supervisor: " Wah ! So hot meh ? "

Me:" I had Indian Curry rice mar ! "

Supervisor:" I see ! But until that extend meh ? "

Me:" I kupik ( stingy ) lor , don't want to order drinks , only had
curry rice, cause thinking to come back and drink in the office.
Like that can save some money and become rich faster mar !"

The supervisor laughed until he fall of his chair and hurt his
back and neck lolrtof !

What ? Is it wrong to become Stingy meh?? Cannot meh ?

The One About Facts

Someone forwarded this one to my email the other day
and I found that it is so true !!

Hoi ! Girls ! Do not feed us like no tomorrow and then force
us to go to Gym ok ?

Whoever draw this, I appreciate that ! You are the man!!

The One About A Lot Of Fun In My Blog ??

Someone just now told me that there is a lot of fun in my blog.

Geee... let me see , yeah sure there is. cause we have ...

Hor fun..

Mai fun...

Kon Low Lou Shu fun...

Kari mai fun...

Zhu Yok fun..

Darn so many fun !!!

So what fun that you like here ?

I normally take Kari Mai Fun and Yu Tao Mai Fun.

Kari Mai Fun from Damansara Kim


Yu Tao Mai Fun from Taman Desa KL.

Sedap sial....

The One About Some Speed....

Was using this so called 4G or Iburst technology from www.izzi.com.my
for the past 2 months.

Reason ? My new area has no Telekom fixed line and hence no streamyx,
but I need broadband from my home as work and entertainment
require it.

Okay, I said to myself, Izzi then izzi loh !!

The performance was not satisfatory since day one for me cause the
connection is always somewhere around 200K to 300K only despite
the signal strength is always 100% -_-" yeah ?

But for the past 2 days I got like 600K to 900K ( nearly 1mbps )
download speed already, I hope that they have improved the
speed somehow cause I was this close ( 2 cm ) away from terminating
their service.

Anyway, when time to give credits, I would : ) here is one for you !

Izzi, pls kindly keep up the good work connection speed
yeah ?? Happy Sunday !

The One About Something That You Don't See Everyday

This morning while on the road going to my office there
was this truck carrying some piece of dark green piece
of long metal.

Sekali look clearly that was the body of the A-4 Skyhawk
aircraft from Royal Malaysian Air Force I think.

-_-"

What is the body of A-4 Skyhawk ( 1960's plane ) doing
in Petaling Jaya, near Atria area ??

Going to to have LIMA here?

Or there is an Area 51 near here that I didn't know of ?

lololol !!! Lock and load !! Lock and load !!!

The One About Rain Fall and Water Level Record System

If you would like to know the water level of
the various river and rain fall record, go to
the link below and you may find out a lot of
useful information.

You may get to know the flooding situation or
predict the floods in Kuala Krai, Kota Bharu
and many many more places.

Darn ! I like this technology.

Now I can ask my parents to prepare when to move
up the stuff and when to move down the stuff.


http://infobanjir.water.gov.my/realtime.htm

The One About 26.1 degree celcius

This early morning I checked the digital thermometer again
and it showed 26.1 degree celcious -_-"

boy i am loving this place so much !!

The One About Ohh ! It's Moonsoon season

First of all, my hometown in Kota Bharu is under about 1 foot
of water. And my parents seems to be enjoying the water and
still watching Astro over the flood -_-"

Now, that is what we call get a long with nature yeah ??

And in Kayu Ara, 20 minutes ago the RM8.00 clock which
has thermometer displayed temperature at 26.9 degree
celcious !! That cold meh ?? How come I don't feel any
coldness at all one ?

Oppss, I forgot I am a bear... yeah yeah...

What does bear do when tempereture drop ??

They go hibernating !! That is what precisely I am going
to do in another 20 mins time.

But to sleep at 12 am and to wake up to work at 8 am is
not entirely accurate / conforms with hibernation.

Neah ! Who cares !!

Boy I love cold weather !!

The One About You Know That You are Old when...

I finished my dinner and was sitting comfortably on the
sofa at about 8 pm.

Was watching Doom via HBO.

And 20 minutes later I ter sleep on the sofa and only
woke up to the last 30 minutes of the movie.

Aisehman !!

Am I getting THAT old ? Or is the movie really that
lousy ?

Or there is some sleeping agent in my dinner.

Neah ! I don't want to know.

Who says that 30 years old is a lot of fun ??

The One About Midnight Flight

Was having dinner with Fat Lady's grandma and the family
members in Ipoh yesterday and by the time the dinner finished
it was like 10 pm plus already.

Hence, there we go, another Midnight flight.

Me:" Err... flight engineer pre-flight check ?"

Reply:" zzzzz......"

Me -_-"

Me:" Flight attendant, pls cross check doors ?"

Reply:" zzzzz......."

Me -__-"

Me:" Flight attendant, pls be sitted for take off ?"

Reply:" ZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzZZZZZZZ......"

Me -___-"


Anyway, as an experienced solo pilot, I managed to take off
while the rest of the crew were already sleeping like
there is no tomorrow.

After 1 hour the crews began to wake up.

Fat Lady with sleepy voice:" Dear are you sleepy ?"

Me:" Zzzzzzz.zzzzzzzzz... "

Fat Lady:" Hoi !! "

Me lolrotf !!!

And suddenly I saw a pair of lights coming from back at
and our distance was getting closer.

I looked at the speed : 120 kmph.

I gave left signal and changed to left lane.

And 5 seconds later a Red Ferrari made a 160kmph over us
silently.

Fat Lady mia brother:" eh ? Why no noise one ?"

Me:" Cause that one is actually a Proton Saga, he just changed
the cover to Ferrari, then mar no sound loh ! "

lolrtof !!!

Damn ! 5 adult, 1 baby in F-117 in a rainy night from Ipoh
to Damansara.

I could use some sleep really.....

The One About Sorethroat

Life is good these few days, have been working hard
and had some good meeting with client.

And after the meeting, naturally we reward ourself with
some nice Banana Leaf rice. Soon after we started eating
my colleague face become red and all sweaty ...

Me ? Slumber saja !!

My colleague:" Eh Mr Wong you are not afraid of spicy food?
I eat already, so hot ! so spicy ! want to die like that!"

Me:" elleh ! In Kelantan, spicy food are for babies !" and
munch some fried dried chilly infront of him...

还连咬三大口辣椒，面不红，心不跳，

My colleague 2 legs in the sky....

And the second day, also Indian curry rice.

Third day, also somehow Indian curry rice. And last night
somemore went to Bandar Manajalara Kepong for the Asam /
Tom Yam steamboat with my sister.

I thought, Tom Yam should be cooling for body kua, and so
much of vegetables in the steamboat, suppose to be good for
health also kua ?

Dead Wrong !!!!

Yesterday night finally the sore throat feeling came.
Must be the fried chickens, chips and papadum =_=" i guess.
Some Tom Yam Curry Ikan too.....

Now, for being very lansi lanyong, now the result is having
to suffer for sore throat loh !!

This evening after work I went home and my sister was wating
for me for dinner.

She:" Ko ! Tonight I prepare dinner liao ! "

Me:" Great ! What's the menu ? "

She:" Nasi lemak + Ikan Bilis Sambal + Fried Chicken ! "

I terus 2 legs in the sky !!!

She:" What happened ? "

Me:" Me sorethroat getting bad lah ! "

She lolrtof !!

But anyway, eat first, die later yeah ??

If I don't wake up tomorrow morning, I love you all and
don't be sad har !! lolrotf !!

Good night everyone, have a nice evening !!!

* jogging away.

The One About Some Good Burger

Some people dislike burgers, some people love them.

I love burgers, be it from the fast food chain, the
roadside, home made, girl friend made, mama made,
papa made or any kind of them. I love burgers.

As long as the burgers are not made of Jelly and
taste sweet, then ok.

The other day Amanda told me that the Carl's Jr.
at Mid Valley has started it's operation and asked
if I want to give it a try.

Before I replied amanda " Yes.... " I was already
in my car and rushing to Mid Valley already.

Amanda was still there, " wei ? wei ? Are you there?"

Anyway, 20 minutes later I was at Carl's Junior and
we ordered a Combo Set + 1 salad cause Amanda wanted
to keep fit.

She said, eat salad will slim down.

Obviously she hasn't hear about " Makan Sayur Boleh Gemuk"
facts yeah ? Well let it be !!

Anyway, a set of Combo meal + a big set of Salad cost us
RM 32.00 , slightly expensive I must say.

But the meal was damn heavy and meaty and fully and no
curry and don't call me Billy ( wtf am I talking about? )

A lot of people walked to the menu, looked at the price
and walked away, perhaps they feel that the price is slightly
at the high side, or they suddenly feel like going to toilet,
I don't know lah yeah !

But tak kan 25 people see the price and menu, and suddenly
they all want to go toilet, right ??

Anyway, we proceeded and finished the meal.

**********************

Cost of lunch = RM 32.00
Cost of car park = RM 1.00

Full until cannot move in Mid Valley = Priceless !!

**********************



By the way, look at the size of the burger and the
salad. It's obviously for Elephants and Rhino mia !!

* lari !!!

The One About Kuala Krai Gala Dinner 2007

Attended the Kuala Krai Gala Dinner 2007 on 30 Nov 2007
and had some fun there.

Some 280 person from all over Malaysia
and the rest of the world attended the Gala dinner held at
Impiana KLCC Hotel.

Didn't bring my FZ30, Sony S85 and V3 as they are having
their year end vacation. Aiseh !

Was having a lot of fun there, especially seeing the fellow Kuala
Kraians meeting the old friends that they have not meet for like
20 or 30 years.

It's great to be in such an atmosphere when you see everyone
seems to have whole stomach of story to tell the long lost friend.

People were busy telling the stories of the past 30 years and
hmm, where to start leh ??

*****************

Cost of dinner = RM 100.00
Cost of parking = RM 5.00

Able to see the long lost friends after 30 years = Priceless !!

*****************


Me ? Since I am the top 20 youngest attendees ( below 30 )
muahahahhaha.... I didn't have much of long lost friends.
In fact i got to know some new friends, friends of friend,
and of course saw some friends of mine like Ming, Hui,
Siew, Yong etc... all looking more matured compared to
when I first know them : )

A lot of friends of my parents, uncles and aunties were there
though, and I have to be identified as,
" Siapa siapa mia anak , or siapa siapa mia anak saudara ,
or siapa siapa mia cucu "

-_-" ok fine...

There was this slogan where we shouted " Kreh Sokmor !! " and
we clapped at the same time.

Some same table youngster who didn't understand Kelantan slang
asked me, " What does it mean ? What is Kreh Sokmor "

I told her, " It means, y + 2x = 4z, if z = 3, what is y ? "

She -_-" and I :" No lah, means Longlive Kuala Krai ! And we love you!"

She ohhhh i see... Silly mia KL people lolrotf !

Kudos to the organizer, and they have spent a lot of time and
effort to pull all these people around, but didn't have chance to
really sit down and talk with them, perhaps next round i should
sit down and see what can I help .

But I did actually have met some long lost friends too actually,
see the photos below ?



I grew up with them in Kuala Krai ! RM 0.10 each I remember...

darn !! The 2.0 Mega pixel camera phone quality is so so only leh!

And how come these ice sticks looked darn like anti ship mines leh?

Kenapa boleh jadi begini ??

The One About Like This Also Can?

The metal theft problem is getting very serious nowadays !!

One time, the place where my sister stayed in Kajang got the whole
road's water meter stolen over night !

Whole street of meter !!! -_-" and the situation doesn't seems to be
improving over the time.

Now, as self defense, more and more people are installing protection for
their water meter, like this one !!

Boy ! Malaysia Boleh !

The One About Inilah Melampau

When we scold people in Malaysia language Melampau we
means that the person or incident has gone too far !

Gone overboard is the term used sometimes too.

Now what happen when someone is Melampau when he/she
is eating pizza ?

The photos here are self explainable !! The pizza got literally
drowned by the cheese powder ! And you can't see the
topping of the pizza no more !!

Some more put a red bean to decorate the cheese powder
pula !!! ZOMG !! Kononnya want to balance out the composition
of cheese and beans !! -_-"

The One About Smoke Signal

Your communication technologies is so old that you use Smoke signal
to communicate, and your signal version is Beta 0.12 version !!

Cis !!

The One About 臭男人

《不是情書》
好男人只是假象

From local online newspaper.


收到一封電郵：女人22歲心目中的好男人：帥、迷人、有錢、
忠實聽眾、風趣、體力好、衣著合宜、品味高雅、
時時讓我驚喜、狂野浪漫。

女人32歲的要求：五官端正（最好還有頭髮）、會幫我開車
門拉座椅、肯帶我上館子吃頓好的、聽的比說的多、我講笑
話該笑時會笑、肯幫我提菜籃、有一條領帶、喜歡我煮的菜、
不會忘記我生日和週年紀念、每週至少溫存一番。

42歲女人的好男人條件進一步降低：還像個人、等我上車
才開車、工作穩定（偶而上麥當勞吃大餐）、還肯聽我說話、
聽得懂笑話、搬得動家具、襯衫遮得住肚腩、上完廁所會把
馬桶蓋歸位、每週刮鬍子。

52歲和62歲的條件更低，最好笑的是到了72歲，
10個條件都是一樣：活著就好。

對於男人，年輕女子總有太多期望，卻不了解男人的本性
而換來太多失望。男人追求女人時殷勤萬分、約會時大方
體面、第一次上床時幹勁十足，但是，男人的本性是懶，
等到塵埃落定，就是原形畢露的時候。

朋友的男友看來蠻帥，有車有屋有胸肌，會甜言蜜語哄
人歡喜。住在一起，才發現他小便有時不沖水，滴在馬桶邊
的尿跡從不理會。她在掃地男人看球、她在生病男人看戲、
她在生氣男人看報，直到她要分手，男人還在摳鼻孔按手機。

女人可以列出好男人100個條件，最終只能選擇其中三五
個比較實際的先決條件。經歷得越多男人，女人終於發現好
男人只是假象，回歸現實，要嘛選擇單身，
再不然就降低或減少要求。

表面完美的男人，總有醜陋的另一面，如果有一個男人符合
22歲女人的所有好男人條件，但他回到家裡就變樣，、
小便不沖水、吃飯放臭屁、鼻屎抹桌底，妳會轉身離去嗎？

收到另一則簡訊：“感嘆男人：有才華的長得醜、
長得帥的不掙錢、掙錢多的不顧家、顧家的沒出息、
有出息的不浪漫、會浪漫的靠不住、靠得住的太窩囊。”

其實，有才華的長得醜，那麼妳大可不要看他的臉，多點
看他的文章；掙錢多的不顧家，妳大可請他不必回家，
只須給足夠的家用。男人肯定有缺陷，但也有一定的作用
，女人別只放大缺點而忽略優點，
回頭看看，妳現在的那個臭男人其實算是不錯了。 


http://www.guangming.com.my/content.phtml?sec=920&sdate=&artid=200711021005
（光明日報/副刊．文：戴志強•2007.10.31）

The One About Beruang.

Just now was asking my colleague, Amy to help me with some
calculation formula stuff and she came into my room.

So we worked for about 10 minutes and I thanked her after
finished up the excel spreadsheet.

Amy:" Wah this room very cold leh ! "

Me:" Got meh ? No lah where got ?"

Amy proceed and put her palm on my arm and indeed her
palm was very very cold.

Me got excited and shouted :" Yooorrrr !!! you sentuh saya mia
tangan, you sentuh saya yorrrr !! "

Amy -_-" and 2 legs in the sky !!!

Me:" Yorrr, you sexual harassment sama I yoorrr !!! "

Amy -_-" lagi and pointed at me:" You know ? Firstly you don't
feel cold cause you have a lot of hair covering your whole body,
like a beruang ( bear ? wtf ? ) you know ?

Secondly, if I want to sexual harassment also I will not sexual
harass you , cause you are a beruang !! mueekkk !! "

-_-"

do I look like a beruang meh ??




No lah !! Where got ??


Photo of the bear taken from : http://www.americanbear.org/

The One About Hak Asasi Manusia.

Today in the office, the sales team supervisor went to one of
the shop where there are a few young ladies there.

Me: " Where are you going ? "

Him:" Go to the shop and see my girlfriends lah ! "

Me -_-" and the data entry clerk shaken her head.

Me:" Itu ialah hak asasi manusia untuk berfoya-foya !"

lolrotf !!!

The One About Good News and Not So Good News

The Good News and the Not So Good News....

The good news is that I have more then RM 5,000 over in my
wallet now and it's almost going to explode any second. And it
is blocking my arse to breath normally.

The not so good news is, RM 4,600 of it does not belong to me
but someone else instead.

But hey, look at the bright side, my arse would be able to breath
again, soon !

Knnbbq !!

The One About Katak Bawah Tempurung.

Boys, today we will learn some Bahasa Malaysia yeah :

Katak = frog.

Bawah = under.

Tempurung = coconut husk or outer shell.

Katak Bawah Tempurung means that the frogs that all the
while which has been living in a remote and isolated place.

This frog does not travel to foreign country, watches cable TV
nor possesses an International Passport. In fact this frog doesn't
go to Lot 10, Pavilion or Sungai Wang that much.

Hence this frog has never seen some high tech stuff and
was quite not up to date with what is going on around the
world.

I feel like this frog when Fat Lady shown me these picture
and I was like totally katak bawah tempurung, my man !!






But, I might be the the remote area frog, but at least I ain't
the crazy frog yeah !! lolrotf !

一山还有一山高

本人自认比臭屁大帝还要臭屁，

怎知遇到这个比我还要臭屁的 -_-"

果然是一山还有一山高 !!! 世界真是大！

The One About Smelliest Fart !!

何谓臭屁呢？

而臭屁有几个阶段呢？

且听我说！

臭屁在马来西亚称为 懒屎 Lansi

是说一个人很串, 很骄傲, 很瞧不起别人,

很爱面子, 不知天高地厚, 不知死活,

kurang ajar, cari mati dan lain lain lagi !

而臭屁的较高境界,便是臭屁王,

还有臭屁仙,

臭屁神,

臭屁大帝,

最 canggih 的还有 Lin Peh 我 !!

哈哈哈哈哈哈

The One About Mooncakes !! la la la !!

I know I know mooncake festival sudah lama lalu, but, but the I miss the
taste of these nice mooncakes mar, how ??

Darn !

The One About Don 1

Recently there was talking on the street that there is this new donuts
shop in downtown KL, at some Pavilion Shopping mall, opposite of
Star Hill / J W Marriot Hotel area of Bukit Bintang.

Some said you eat already you would become crazy cause the taste
was too good !

Some said you eat already you would forget about your gf or bf cause
these donuts are way better then your bf or gf.

Some queued 1/2 hour to buy and waited another to pay at the counter.

Some queued for 1 hour plus and found that a lot of flavor has already
sold out and the shop can't produce the donuts fast enough.

Some said you eat these donuts already you will become Superman or
Superwoman.

Some said you eat these donuts already you will suffer amnesia cause it
tasted so good etc.

Moi ? Moi follow the evidence and let the evidence speak for themselves!

Hence one day, moi lighted my cigars and gave Jason a call.

Moi : " Hi Jason, this is A J here ! " and puffed some smokes
to the phone, and the smoke traveled and came out at the
other side.

Jason coughed * barfed * ahemed * coughed and cleared his
throat and .....

Jason : " Hi Mr. Cooper ! how are you doing ? "

Moi : " Just Cooper will do ! "

Jason : " Ok Cooooooooooooper ! How may I help you ? "

Moi : " I heard that there is a new Donuts shop in town yeah ?"

Jason :" Yes mr. errr... Cooper ! "

Moi : " Can help me to get some when you are free ? "

Jason :" Affirmative sir ! "

Moi :" Good ! Give me 2 dozons of those, stirred not shaken ok ??"
and pufffed more smokes towards the phone.

Jason :" Apla you ! Kepala otak engkau stirred shaken lah !"

Moi ran away fast fast....

That was how I asked Jason to help me to buy some cause I
heard that he was going to Pavilion and I was too phobia to
get to those place.

In my country, people always say, " Tumpang the people who
go to supermarket to buy your groceries ! "
kih kih kih kih kih !!

That was the story, now leave me alone while I go and recall
and reimagine the taste of the donuts.

The One About Don 2

As per the tittle, I actually had get Jason to buy 2 boxes ( 24 donuts )
for me, wah ha ha ha ha ha !!!

Since there already, why buy only 1 donuts right ? Buy 24 lah !!

Can eat all you want etc.

The One About Don 3

Take a closer look at the chocolates and stuff like that.
Darn I should have used my Sony S85 for macro shot !

The One About Don 4

It's good to have 2 boxes of Donuts in your fridge and it is like
having unlimited supply of theses Donuts for a while.

Most of them do taste very nice, some taste so so.

The One About Don 5

Thanks to Jason who went there and waited for like 1 hour plus.
I think this one would become Fat lady's PC background for a while.

Ｔｈｅ Ｏｎｅ Ａｂｏｕｔ Ａｎｎｏｙｉｎｇ Ｐｅｏｐｌｅ．．． ａｎｄ Ｉ ａｍ ｇｏｏｄ ａｔ ｉｔ！！

The One About 390K ｗｏｒｄｓ．

那天去了书斩，买了几本小说。

其中一本叫 我和我的土匪奶奶，还蛮可以的
一本书 390，000 个字， 4 至 5 个小时 便搞定了。

肥婆小姐说:" 我的妈呀!! 你真强 !!"

我说:" Abuthen ?? 小姐, 您没见过大蛇大便吗？"

跑之夭夭

Ｔｈｅ Ｏｎｅ Ａｂｏｕｔ Ｂｏｏｋ Ｆａｉｒ．．．． ｍｙ ｆｏｏｔ ！！

什么是书展书斩??

书斩就是一本５０人民币的书卖５０马币,
然后好像很慷慨的打个２０％折扣给你.

然后满面开心的说:" 谢谢你!下次再光临!!"

著：　

１人民币等于　０.５　马币
３５　人民币的书应该等于　１７.５　马币　

Very the good profit yeah !!

The One About Soundtrack Part Duex.

Went to some Electrical and Electronic shop today to test out
some Karaoke System for my mother. Saw a few potential and ok
one and I asked the sales person if he could find me some Chinese
oldies so that my mother can test it out.

My mother:" Good ! You have any Chinese Oldies songs ?"

Sales person:" Yeah ! Sure we do ! Please hold on a sec !"

Me:" Hmm.... not bad yeah ? Fully prepared !! "

5 minutes later the sales person brought back a CD and put it
into the system and pressed play button.

First song, " By Anita Mui , some 1980s song ... "

me -_-" :"hmmm??? "

Second song, " Aeron Kwok 1992s song.... "

me:"har ????"

Third song, " Leslie Cheung , and Jacky Cheong etc .... "

Me, " Excuse me, I thought i said Chinese Oldies ?? For my
mother ?? Hello ?? "

The sales person, " Anita Mui song's oldies what ? Leslie
also is what ??? " and gave me innocent look....

WTF is wrong with the kids nowadays ???

Or .... hmm... never mind !!

The One About Soundtrack.

Have you ever tried to work hard for a few weeks and finally you
know that you have finished all the work and you can relax for the
next few days, and that day happens to be a Friday ?

And try to play the song called " Footloose " by Kenny Loggins.

And you will have a good mood cause your work is done for the time
being, and it's Saturday and Sunday tomorrow. Yeah !!!

Strange, when I was listening to Footloose just now my office
people, and my office Telesales asked me,
" Mr Wong why are you keep on listening to oldies ?? "

Me:" Wtf ? Footloose mana is oldies ? It's a pop song !! "

My tele sales:" Nope , it WAS a pop song !"

Me:" Huh ? "

My tele sales:" What year is now ? "

Me:" Hmmmm... year 2007 loh ! "

My tele sales:" When was Footloose released ?"

Me:" 1984 loh ! "

My tele sales:" Precisely ! A song which is 23 years
old, if you don't call that oldies, what could you call that?"

Me -_-" " You seems to be right, but then those are my
favorites song woh ? "

My tele sales:" I understand, I know, you know why ?"

Me:" Why ? "

My tele sales:" Cause you are old man loh ! That's why"

and she ran away fast fast....


sob.... sob....

Now listening to " Have You Ever Seen The Rain "

Oldies meh ? I think " Lite and Easy " songs would be better right?

By the way, I am not old ok ? I am matured, that's all.

Light cigar and poffffff smokes to your face....

OMFG !! Light cigar somemore !!!

The One About Mobile Phone Lense Cleansing.

We know that nowadays most of the mobile phones come with built
in digital cameras, with very basic 1 Mega pixel until the last i heard
was 5.5 Mega pixel -_-"

Damn canggih yeah nowadays ??

My Sony Ericsson K510i cost me RM 400 or so when I purchased it at
about 8 or 9 months ago and I am still so in love with it. I will not carry
a RM 1,999 in my pocket and end up like :

When walk, have to walk slowly, takut handphone fell out of pocket.

When it rains, quickily save the handphone first.

Everyday take out the handphone and polish it's surface for 20 times,
use your breath hor hor hor at the surface and wipe it with tissues.

Everynight have to lock the handphone in the locker or safety box
before go to sleep lolrotf !!

When go to toilet, always have to worry that the phone might fell into
the toilet bowl.

Yeah ! I am laughing at you, you slaves of mobile phone.

I do have a mobile phone cover ( to protect phone ) a few weeks
ago and one day my phone fell on the floor and everything and every
parts went different ways....

I quickily checked the integrity and damage level of the Rm 7.00
plastic cover.

My sister see already:" Wtf ?? You checked your plastic cover but
you don't care about your mobile phone ah ?"

Me:" Phone is ok, but the protective cover is broken into few pieces
already, sob sob sob... "

My sister 2 legs in the sky and shake head slowly.

Why ???

Me ? I am the master for my mobile phone, I don't have to worry too
much about the above issues, just on and off clean up the dusk on the
surface so that I could see the screen clearly and keep the 1.3 Mega
pixel lenses clean, that's all.

It actually matters if your camera lenses is clean, have a look at the
photo taken by my K510i before cleaning the lenses and after cleaning
up the lenses.


This is before the lenses were cleaned :


And ladies and gentleman, this one below is after I cleaned up
the lenses a bit using my tea
( in the cup at the left side of photo lolol )

You could tell the image quality is much more better at the lower photo
compared to the one above, yeah ??



Key word of the day, " Personal hygiene and Mobile Phone hygiene "

The One About Late Night In Office.

Yesterday night we were in the office working till about 3 am before
we sent off all the reports back to main office off shore and I reached
home at about 3 am plus...

The traffic was clear and it was drizzling all the way home with some
occasional lighting far way in the sky.

It's fun to drive on Jalan Damansara at 3 am in the morning cause
the traffic would always be "VERY TEH SMOOTH" lolrotf !!

This is is one of many time that I had to stay late in the office and
rushed reports for the current company, but boy the differences of
working alone in the night vs working in a group till 3 am is different.

When you rush report alone in the office, you feel darn disappointed
and hopeless and like want to look for a new job.

When you rush report with a bunch of other staff in office, you still
feel darn disappointed, hopeless and perhaps still feel like want to
look for a new job, but at least the time goes by faster and there is
someone there to talk to you and help you, at least things feel
better, a little bit.

But darn the eyes are very tired now, got to sleep early tonight.

The One About Some Air Conditioning stuff.

Was doing some renovation for the new house a few weeks ago
and ordered a few air cond and installed them at the new house.

A few weeks ago, Ah Kok, " Eh Kai Hong, your new house going to be
fully air conditioned or not ? "

Me:" Oh no lah, only master bed room, second room, third room and
living room has air cond only, kitchen doesn't have air cond. Not
fully air conditioned. "

Ah Kok, " Pukimek ! If this is not called fully air conditioned then what
is ? You want to install air cond at toilet too izzit ?? izzit ?? "

Me:" he he he, no lah no lah.... soli loh i don't know mar ! "

Ah Kok 2 legs in the sky.

Well, anyway, these few units of air cond cost me about 7K to 8K
including labour and everything. But ada credit term one lolol !!

Better fix these air cond first then to hack the wall again and drill holes
again after I move in right ??

Anyway, I still don't agree that my house is fully air conditioned, nope!!

The One About The James Bond Car ??

A few days ago I saw the above car near Damansara and I was like
-_-" huh ??

Me:" Wah what car model is this ?? "

My sister: " You don't know meh ? Don't lie ! "

Me:" This seems like the Mitsubishi latest sedan with 2.0 litre
turbo and all time 4 wheel drive with about 280 Hp. There is
this new type spoiler ( below the car type ) and above the back
wind screen type so the wind could move away and keep the
car stablized at the same time. Must be some nice car ! '

My sister:" Could you be less sarcastic or not ? "

Me:" What ?? I thought the 4 black stuff at the left and
right of the car antenna above the car back windscreen are
missiles like the James Bond car, don't know will tembak
us or not ?? "

My sister 2 legs in the sky and shouted:" It's a Waja lah ! "

Me:" Yeah meh ?? Don't lie, it says Mitsubishi ok ??? You think
I don't know anything about cars izzit ?? "

My sister strangled herself with her hair.

Me lolrotf !!! Mitsubishi yeah ?? 2.0 liter yeah ? DOHC yeah??
All time 4 wheel drive yeah ??

* run away....

The One About Lala Killer.

I have a lot of cousins and all of them are very close to me
and my family, this one is Jr. Ho.

This Jr.Ho loves Lala ( A type of clam ) in Malaysia and could
easily whack 30 or 40 of these clam per dinner.

And how does he pay respect to the clams that he has ate ?

Simple, arrange them to be come tall tall like tower like that
and counting 1, 2, 3, 4..... 28, 29 etc.

This way he could express his love towards these lala clams
and at the same time do some statistic after dinner.

See how he concentrates and build up his master piece ??


Full concentration, skill, patience, and love towards the Lala is
required to do this stunt. Not easy yeah ??

See how many clams shell that he has ??

But all his effort became wasted once I bang the table hard
using my legs causing the whole table to shake a bit.

And the whole Lala Tower or to be precise Blardy Lala Shell's
Tower would just tumble and everything would be spread on
the table.

lolrotf !! Look at his face !!



Oh by the way, his brother the Jr.Jr. Ho is even more funny,
this Jr. Jr Ho loves to keep all the small little crabs found in the
stomach of these lala ( as the lala last supper or food )
and put them in a piece of paper and bring them home.

What does he do with the small little crabs's body ??
I don't know don't ask me.

Make them small little crabs mummy kot ??

Darn it is good to have some funny little cousin like Aeron and Adrian.

lolrotf !!! They always have new tricks and new formula to make my
day.

Muacks muacks.... and went on and bang table again.

Jr. Ho :" Aiseh !!! The shells tumbles again aiseh !!! " and looked
darn disappointed and clueless about why his Lala tower always
came down when it is at it's highest point.

Me:" What ? what happened ? " and trying so hard not to laugh out
loud while see him reconstruct his Tower of the Lala again.

LOLOLOL !!!

Sometimes it is bad for health to suppress a good laugh and this is
always one of the case. I think I hurt my lung trying to suppress
the laugh seeing's the tower falling down and the look of Aeron
clueless face lololol ....

The One About Chips More.

Money in wallet is like chips more cookies nowadays.

Now you see it, now you don't after 10 minutes.

Does anyone has a good way to make my wallet to
always look like that photo above or not leh ??

Notes has to be RM100 and RM50 only ok ?

The One About Vista Business and 2GB of RAM

Finally I have started using Windows Vista now, with 2GB of RAM
and a dual core Intel processor.

I must say, it is not too bad at all.

My friends always complaint that I am and was always the person
who :

Still uses windows 95 when all people are using Windows 98 SE.
That is Windows Second Edition. Year 2000 to year 2002.

Still uses Windows 98 SE when all are using Windows XP.
Year 2002 till year 2006.

Finally I started using windows XP in year 2006 or so, but
everyone started using Windows Vista already, why har??

Now with Windows Vista + 2GB of RAM infront of me, I bet
no one is going to complain about my lap top already yeah?

Anyone ?? Hmmm ?? Hmmm ??

You all complain somemore lah !! I start using Windows 3.11
again then you will know who is the BOSS !!!

I am the BOSS but I am not Mr. Cooper, just Cooper.

* Run away !!

The One About Job Qualitication

Sometimes in a job it doesn't mean that you have to be highly
educated or very skillful or stuff like that.

Sometimes in job it is all about non academic qualification and
aptitude, actually most of the time it is about these 2.

For instance, my brother can't stand seeing blood , hence he
can't really be a good doctor although we wished him to be
one ( cosmetic surgeon, lol to earn the girls monies ). But
nope, he is too phobia seeing red, hence he has to study
something else and forget about the surgeon stuff.

A few weeks ago there was this new cleaner lady for my
office and first day that she came to our office she cleaned
everything in the office and vacumn the floor and everything.

Then there was this toilet that she has to clean, and suddenly
she : " Ammah ... Appahh !!! Eeeeiiiikkkkkkkkkk !!! "

We were like :" What happened ? What happened ??? "

She:" There is a cockroach in the toilet ! Alamamak !!"

Me:" Wait ! Where is the roach ? Where ?"

She:" It went down below the basin already, yeeerrrrr!!!!"

Me: " You are afraid to roach meh ?? "

She with tears in her eyes :" Very afraid !! " and said "
I will stand outside the toilet now, i dare not go in lah !"

and mumbled mumbled about cockroaches...

Me 2 legs in the sky until my shoes also flown across the
office ........

After that day, I didn't see her in the office no more and
last I heard, she went on and became a plastic surgeon
already, perhaps my brother can come help me clean
my office toilet kot ??

Job Qualification, remember ?? Aptitude, remember??

The One About Grandmother Stories.

Today in the office, we were talking about why we should not
waste food and stuff like that.

My telesales:" Mr Wong, we should not waste food you know?
last time during war time in 1940s and 1950s, people has no
rice to eat, have to eat grass and eat leaves you know ?"

Telesales:" Very teruk you know ? No rice to eat ! "

Me added: " Yeah you are right ! I agree with you ! Last
time their life really sad and miserable ! "

Telesales:" Yeah Mr Wong !! Yeah !! No rice you know?

Me:" Last time during war, my grandmother and grandfather
they all also has absolutely no rice to eat, so they had to order
Mc Donald delivery, Pizza Hut delivery, very cham hor !!
very expensive cause everday eat Mc D and Pizza Hut !
So they are very sad and miserable..... "

My tele sales -_-"

I added on:" Sometimes the Cokes and Pepsi delivered also
no more cold already, cause road very far away !
So they very sad and miserable !! you know ?? Coke not cold
already !! Aisehman !! "

My telesales 2 legs in the sky and &&^^&@^*(&^!%*&^%&*^$
!%%$%&^#*&^!()(#)(*%^*(&!^(*&%$&^#&)(*&@)(*&#
last time where got Mc Donald ? Where got Pizza Hut ??
&(*#&$^*(&!^%!&^%*&^#$(&)($*%_09 even got also
where got delivery ?? huh huh ?? 7&(!*&@(^#*&$^*(&#$#

I terus lari cepat cepat lolrotf !!!

The One About A Good Catch !!

You know there is this Bluetooth handsfree kit that works
like a clip with an ear piece with a string ??

This bluetooth is more comfortable compared to the type
that you hang at your ear in my opinion and I have been
using one for the past 6 months, not bad I must say.

Decent battery life and standby time as well.

So yesterday I clipped the unit at my collar and went to
washroom, as I bent a little to flush the toilet and the
bluetooth clip went suicide by letting the clip go " clip!!"
and tried to do free fall into the toilet bowl.

I, being famous of fast catcher and with good reflexes
and also smart and handsome was
having 1 hand pushing the flush button and another hand
holding the jeans......

-_-" tension yeah ?? What would you do ??

In another 0.003 seconds the bluetooth would be in the
toilet bowl and there wasn't enough of time to pull back the
hand from the flush button.

A hem !! I just pull the pant infront and let the bluetooth
fell inside of the jeans, geee, the jeans worked as safety
net yesterday and made her exit at the end of the jeans.

Now why do I call my bluetooth unit a her leh??

Cause she darn like to explore my hairy legs! Thats why!!

Boy I am good !!

The One About 1 Stone and 2 Birds.

Last night Fat Lady was burning midnight oil while I was
reading National Geographic as I have done most of my
work last week, till 4 am one day.

Me:" Don't worry, I will stay up late with you ! "

Fat Lady:" Ok, good, I go take bath now, you don't
sleep har! Must accompany me till I finished my work
ok ??"

Me:" Ok ! Ok ! Go ahead and take bath and you will be
able to stay fresh and can work late ! "

Fat Lady:" You sure har ! Don't sleep har ! "

Me:" Affirmative Madam !! "

Fat Lady closed the room door and I straight away planted
my head in the pillow !! hmmmmmm !! so nice and so cold
and so sleepy !!!

1.2 second later Fat Lady reopened the room and looked at
me and said, " You liar !! You said you will not sleep first ?"

Me:" I wasn't sleeping, i was checking De Temperature of
the pillows and stuff like that ! "

Fat Lady's level of anger shot up very high and she grabbed
the the toilet roll on the desk and thrown it at me ...

My head was still stuck with the pillows and there wasn't
time to react, the toilet roll prompty hit my head "BOING !"
and bounced off and hit the Ridsect bottle not far away.

Everything happened in 0.38 second only !!!

So basically it was like, fhhhheeeewwww ( sound of toilet
roll flying 20 m/s ) towards my head, and BOING ( the sound
of my head hit by the toilet roll ) and another BOING ! (the
sound of bottle of Ridsect hit by the toilet roll ! ) and giling
giling giling ( sound of bottle of ridsect rolling on the floor )
while both of us were stunned by the accuracy demostrated
by Fat Lady -_-".

Darn that was really precise and accurate my friend.

10 seconds later

Both of us finished laughing like hell and she went to take
bath then, while I resume my Pillow Head Probe
Tempereture Check!

2.4 seconds later, Fat Lady reappear and I didn't
bothered to take my head off the pillow.

She aimed another toilet roll at my head and another
direct hit !! BOOOOINNGG !!! again !!

She clapped her hands and walked towards the bath
room downstair feeling very satisfied.

Can someone call the Animal Shelter home and get me in
and I need some gawd darn protection from Domestic
Violence ! Please ?? please ?

Moral of the story :

Toilet Rolls are darn useful !

The One About Going Oversea Lor.

The image speaks for itself.

Going oversea ? Sure anytime !!

* lari !!

The One About Nu Ren and Nan Ren.

男女之愛** - **值得看了再看！*
*~~ **作者：劉墉**~~ *

*男女之愛，很妙！*

*無論你怎麼說：『愛是無條件的』，年輕時的《愛》還總是跟《性》有關。*

*否則，你們為什麼由拉拉手到摟摟腰，到擁吻、撫愛，然後上了床？*

*因為這是與生俱來的本能，也就是因為這本能，使男女可以相悅，
使君子可以好逑，使種族能夠繁衍。** *

* ** ** ** *

*如果人人都談柏拉圖式的愛情，都只要心靈，沒有肉體，
這世上還有人類的存在嗎？*

*所以，年輕人的愛往往是帶有《性趨迫》的。*

*他們目光交流、含情脈脈，他們傾心交談、徹夜不眠。*

*他們終於像是乾材烈火，突破最後的防線，他們翻騰、瘋狂，
達到高潮。*

*然後呢？然後，他們睡著了，睡的很熟。*

*請問，他們怎麼不繼續一直聊、一直聊、互訴衷情、聊到天亮。*

*性愛、性愛、男女最先的相處需要「性」，後來的相處需要「愛」。*

*所以有人說一對男女在做愛之後，還能彼此愛憐、百般溫存的
才是真愛。*

*我們可以引申** - **只有當一對夫妻，有一天成了「無性夫妻」，
還能彼此扶持，相顧深情的才是真愛。** *


*恕我講一句很俗的話，據說應召女郎往往在「辦事」之前，
先收錢。*

*那男人就在眼前，跑不掉，她又何必先收錢呢？*

*應召女郎的道理很簡單** ……*

*『男人的下面硬的時候心就軟，下面軟的時候心就硬。** **
當他《辦完了事》，會立刻變的小器，會馬上後悔花那麼多的
《代價》，甚至立刻覺得眼前的女人不夠美。辦事之前，則恰恰相反。』
** ** *

**夫妻之間，雖然不這麼現實，但是你如果，但是如果你細細想想，
不也差不多嗎？ *

*她溫柔的像隻小貓，偎在你身邊*

*他體貼的像隻小狗，在妳旁邊打轉，她露出最嬌媚的笑，把菜端上桌，
你以最勤快的動作，把碗盤拿去洗。** *

*他們把燈調暗，把音響打開。*

*他們** …**在戀愛時期，也可以說在新鮮時期，兩個人精力都特別好，
吃完飯可以去跳舞。** *

*跳完舞可以去** PUB**，**PUB **…** **回來還有用不完的精力。*


*原本切的細細的水果，現在成了『喂！』唰！一個蘋果迎面飛來。*

*原本蹲在浴缸旁邊幫你搓背，現代已經逕自去睡，並傳來鼾聲。*

*原本的『三菜一湯』，現在是微波爐裡端出來的『三盒一杯』，
還撂下一句話：『人家都丈夫有應酬，只有你天天回家吃飯，
把我都累死了！』** *

*原來的飯後依偎，音樂欣賞，成了督促孩子作功課，以及打賣哭鬧。
原本的柔聲細語，變成了河東獅吼。** *

*那男人也一樣。*

*原本靠在太太背後，對著耳朵吹氣，現在鞋子一摔，
倒上沙發就看報。*

*原本說東說西，** **向太太報告外面的一切，現在眼睛越過
老婆肩頭，盯著電視一動也不動。*

*原本幫著擺碗筷、收桌子，現在兩杯酒下肚，歪在椅子上已經
睡著，且發出殺豬的音響。*

*原本來放屁時，一定躲到浴室，或說對不起，現在大剌剌地，
還好像以『豪放』為得意。*

*原本假日拉著太太看電影、爬山，現在假日不是睡大頭覺，
就是背著球袋消失不見。*

*碰到這種狀況，無論那男人或女人都會說：『老夫老妻了嘛！
幹什麼還裝？上班管孩子，累死了，誰還有什麼情緒？』** ** *

**可不是嗎？*

*他們是倦了，因為工作慘了，因為體力不如從前而倦了，
也因為眼前那個人，已經看了太多年而倦了，他們的『性』少了，
『愛』也少了。** *

*你不能沒有的諒解政界常說的一句話：『上台靠機會，\
下台靠智慧。』*

*男女之間也可以說：『戀愛靠機會，婚姻靠智慧。』*

*茫茫人海，偏偏遇上他，當然是《機會》，但是此後幾十年，
就靠彼此的智慧了。*

*只有那些能夠把《熱情如火》的戀愛，化為《手砥足》的恩愛，
再化為《相濡以沫》的憐愛的人，才有愛的大智慧。** *


*問題是，你必須知道** **- **你有，她不一定有；
她有，你不一定有。 ***

*有些人就是沒有智慧，也可以說他們沒有愛的能力。*

*感情！感情！他有『感』，卻沒有『情』。*

*抱負！抱負！他能『抱』，卻不能『負』。*

*性沒了，他就不愛了；『更年期』到了，她就粗俗了；
年輕女人出現，他就絕情了。*

*除此之外，你必須知道，人的《前半生》可能用《下半身》思考；
人的『後半生』可能是用『上半身』思考。** *

*上半身的思考，是用心、用腦，那是理智的，也是頓悟的，
所以當他『相通了』往往就一下子改變，再也難以挽回。** *

*你知道大思想家羅素，是怎麼跟他老婆愛麗絲分開的嗎？*

*他是有一天騎腳踏車，在鄉間的小路上，突然發覺再也不愛她。*

*然後某一日，讀書讀到一半，站起身，出門，再也沒有回頭。*

*你知道大文豪托爾斯泰是怎麼死的嗎？他是在風雪天逃家
，死在火車站的。*

*他們的老婆都曾經是他們的愛妻，他們為什麼那麼絕呢？
誰不知道愛麗絲漂亮？誰不知道扥爾斯泰的夫人賢慧？** *


*
但是漂亮的不永遠漂亮，賢慧的不永遠賢慧，你要想想他
們會不會像前面故事裡的老外，當他們的另一半變了質，
不再優雅、不再體貼，到有一天，他們忍無可忍，想開了，
便突然下決定
**- **離開，甚至即使會凍死，他們也要離開。 ***


*女人也一樣，多少女人在丈夫《變質》之後，為了孩子忍，
忍了十幾二十年，孩子上大學入社會，女人就突然離開了。** *

*她們的道理簡單『我覺得我的前半生白過了，我少女的夢想一
點都沒有實現，我的犧牲夠大了，剩下一點歲月，讓我作回我自己吧！』** *


*你看過羅伯** J**•華勒寫的《麥迪遜之橋》嗎？笑死人了！** *

*那個女主角跟丈夫在小鎮過了平靜的一生，居然真正讓她永難忘懷的，
是丈夫不在時，偶然闖入她生活的一個男人。** *

*幾天的激情，怎能換來她一生的懷念？*

*很簡單，因為她一生太平靜，因為她的生活太枯燥，
也可能因為她的老公太無趣。*

*如果《那一天》，她選擇跟《那一個男人》，走了，你會驚訝嗎？*

*看到這裡，你有沒有想想你自己的生活？你還有沒有『當年』的情趣？*

*抑或是你已經粗俗地十足是個『莽漢』、『潑婦』、『糟老頭』、『歐巴桑』？*

*你會為吸引另一半而去健身、減肥、控制口腹之欲嗎？*

*你會因為知道他喜歡『健康色』，而多曬一點太陽嗎？*

*你們還會兩口子單獨出遊，享受一點『自己的時間』嗎？*


*記住！*

*婚姻是要經營的** !**？
* ** ** ** *

*妳再忙，也應該保持自己的儀容，妳即使是家庭主婦，
依然要追得上外面的潮流。*

*你即使在家上班，也得天天刮鬍子、常常理髮，
不能只穿睡衣晃來晃去。*

*最起碼，你們一定要找機會，把自己打扮得十分體面，梳了頭
、化了妝、噴上香水，再穿上西裝、晚禮服，出去應酬一下。** *

*真正的目的不是應酬，是讓你的另一半《驚訝！》的發現，
原來在燈光下、燭光下，妳化起妝，他穿起禮服，還是那麼的嫵媚、瀟灑。** *

*你們雖然應該節省，但餐具還是該成套，而且要常替換。*

*因為那是情趣、是變化，而且同樣的食物裝在不同的餐具裡，
能有完全不同的感覺。*

*妳想想，今晚妳捨棄以前的塑膠杯或喝水用的玻璃杯，
為他端出放在瓷碟裡的一杯咖啡時，他的感覺有多麼不同。**

*人都追求感覺、追求新鮮、追求變化、追求品質。*

*婚姻也一樣，當你不在能用『性』去愛、用思想去愛。*

*人** ……**可以老化，但不能腐化；婚姻可以老化，也不能腐化。** *

*當你的婚姻有一天亮起紅燈，妳永遠要想想，是他變了質，還是你變了質？*

*亦或你們兩個都沒有愛的能力，你們只懂《性》，不懂《愛》。*

* ** ** ** *

*如果你們已經四、五十歲，你們要想想，你們辛苦了半生，
存那麼多錢，到今天，過的是什麼樣的生活？** *

*你們的辛苦，除了為子女，還為什麼？*


*如果妳是女人，妳要想想；他前十年要妳幫他創業，
中間十年要妳幫他攢錢，再過十年，妳還要幫他存錢，
存到他死嗎？** *

*還是希望妳為他安排『怎麼花錢』？*

*否則，當有一天，他到老周家，發現自己辛苦大半生，
連菜場裡有的水果都吃不到的時候，他會怎麼想？** *



*同樣的，如果你是男人，你要想想；一個女人，跟了你，
腆了肚子、彎了腰，駝了背、碎了夢，她的一生快要過完了，
她還有什麼？** *

*孩子笑著出嫁的時候，她哭；你笑著招待朋友的時候，她累；
你老了，先走一步的時候她送終。*


*剩下沒多少日子了，你該不該做點什麼？你成天在外忙，值不值？*

*還是一句老話，你們有沒有愛的能力與智慧？*

*如果你不希望另一半有一天因為『想通了』而離開你，你就要想想
『你是不是該做一點點改變？』畢竟** …**夫妻要做的《長久》
** …**是很大的一門功課。

THe One About Eh Happy Mooncake Festival.

Mooncake Festival is a Chinese traditional celebrated day,
on this day, the moon ( 15th August of Chinese Calendar )
would be extremely round and perfect and nice.

It is the time where us kids would go out and scout and patrol
with lantern with 2 boxes of candle in our pocket and a box of
matches.

And all of us kids would be equipped with Rm1.20 ( usd 0.35 )
lantern with candles would be roaming the street of our village
and meet friends and get chased by neighbors dogs and goose.
Sometimes there would be blur friends of us who fall into drain
and got a big boo boo on his /her head cause it was too darn dark.

The lanterns back then were made of thin plastic with thin frame
made of bamboo or metal wire. Typical design was square, some
with Ultraman, Superman design... and there were very little
eletronic or electrical one, and there wasn't any Pokemon or
Hello Kitty or stuff like that, luckily !

Some of the friends lantern was made of Milo Tin, Milk Tin and
once I saw a few lantern made of pamelo's skin -_-" omgbbq !!

We always laughed at the guy who has lantern made of pamelo
cause it was darn heavy and sort of wet and was really not stable.
The poor guy's bamboo stick that used to carry the pamelo's
lanttern was always stretched and seems like it was going to
break like that lolrotf !

Sometimes our lanterns would ended up get burnt ( 40% chances )
and sometimes someone's pant or skirt might get a burn hole
( 20% chances ) and 100% the time, we would be really happy.

Darn the guy with lantern made of pamelo's skin never get burnt
or caught fire, and ours always ended up 100% gone or with a big
hole lolol !!

And after that we would go back to yards, have some celebration by
eating mooncakes ( boy by then we had tausar flavour only ) and chew
some roasted groundnuts. The favourites drink back then ? 7 Up my
friend !! 7 up ! Cold 7 up + ground nuts + a mouthful of tausar
mooncake omg !!

And we would just sit there and talk cock whole night without being
chased to bed by parents and grandma, and right now I can't
remember what did we talk, must be some ambition thing or the
funny things or puppy love things yeah ?

you ask me if I was happy by then ?

I was really really happy, maybe that time I didn't realized that but
now the more I think of it the more happier I am that I had such an
experiance.

Darn Kuala Krai was a nice place !!


In 1982 and 1983:
Oh by the way that time a drum of mooncake ( 4 pcs of mooncakes )
cost rm 2.00 or something and the taste was so pure and sweet : )

In 2007
Today I saw a basic mooncake on sale with tausar inside, Rm 5.50 -_-"

Darn Kuala Krai is still a nice place !!!


Fat Lady is always puzzled that why the heck that
I love to eat mooncake so much after 7 years knowing me.

I was trying to recall the good old time and the memory that
I missed so much, that I could only seen and feel during my
dream.

Darn ! Kuala Krai I miss you so much !!!

The One About Left and Right.

I remember when I was a kid I asked a lot of question and
some of the questions were sort of funny when I think of it
right now.

One day, during the night when there was electrical supply
disruption we had our torch and everything.

Suddenly I turned on the torch and put at my left ear, and
ran to my uncle Addy Ho and asked him
" Eh QQ see my right ear, can see light or not ? "

My uncle Addy Ho paused for 3 seconds and then the laughed
until he fall of his chair in dark.

I was like -_-" " what ? What did I say ? "

Really, until today I still can remember the kind of innocent
tone that I had that night.

Kuala Krai mia story...

The One About Dedication for my friend at East Coast.

Nelayan yang tidak tangkap ikan,

Bagai burung yang tidak terbang,

Apakah burung yang tidak terbang,

Burung unta rupayna tidak terbang.

This one is for you, my friend who is at East Coast now
standing by the seaside, waiting for the mango to ripe.

But sometimes while you wait for the mango to ripe,
perhaps you could get some coconut around, or some
nasi dagang back in town.

don't just stand there and wait. Move it move it !!!

The One About Tea or Black Coffee.

If you take a look at the attached photo you might wonder
that eh is this a cup of tea or black coffee ?

This is indeed a cup of tea, pu er tea from China.

Last time when people says that these pu er tea is as black
as black ink I used to laugh at them and silly them.

But now.... now... I think it is really black lah !!

Why is that this kind of tea is so dark and black one hor ?

The One About The Funny Food from Kommies !!!

So today I read in the local Newsgroup called Kommies and
someone has posted a question or trivia like this :

"Name me the food that has fish inside but chicken outside"

So I asked a few friends all over the world and they came
back with a lot of funny funny delicacies that only appears
in our imagination.

Someone told me that there was this dish that they put eggs
into fish, and put the fish into the chicken, and chicken inside
the lamb, the lamb inside camel and cook -_-"
i think that one is from East Asia or something.

And from china they also has this dish where they put stuff
into chickens, and ducks, and pigs and everything.

But they were all wrong cause it was too complex, my question
was "Name me the food that has fish inside but chicken outside"

You don't involve camels, cow, eggs, pigs and spider here...

The answer was so simple when I saw it that I slapped my
forehead and said . " Aiya ya !! "





knnbbq !! It's the food that we grew up with my friend!!!









































* lari !!!

The One About It's Good to Feel That.

Sometimes it feels good to learn that in the entire
group, I am the one which has more experiance in
technical wise and human relation wise.

Darn it feels darn good actually !!

Wonderful Wednesday ahead !!

THe One About Eh Selamat Menyambut Bulan Puasa!!

Kepada saudari dan saudara, Selamat Meyambut Bulan Puasa !!

To all readers, Selamat Menyambut Bulan Puasa and may all of you
to have a good month ahead !

Peace !!

The One About Pirated DVD.

Just now over MSN Chris Yuan :" Oi philip, can you help me?"

Me:" Wassap ?"

Chris Yuan:" Where can I buy pirated DVD eh ?"

Me:" Oh simple ! "

Chris Yuan:" Oh good, tell me ! tell me !! "

Me:" You go to www.pirateddvd.com.my mar got liao loh ! "

Chris Yuan terus 2 legs in the sky !!

* lari !!

The One About KL is a Funny Place.

KL is a funny place, funny because the drivers here just love
to cut queue.

Raining day, they cut queue.
Sunny day, they also cut queue.
Morning, they cut queue.
Afternoon, they lagi cut queue.
Night time, they cut queue like no body's business!

The conclusion is that, it's a hobby here or favorite game
for them right here !!

My friends from East Coast came to KL one day and he noticed
this and pointed out to me, he said, " These people never go to
school one is it ? "

I shrug and pity their parents...

The One About KL is a Funny Place 2.

In KL, all sort of people loves to cut queue, no matter if you
are rich, poor, big car, small car, male, female or ah kua !!

The drivers just can't sit there and wait for their turn, they
must cut queue cause their time is more important then
your time and my time.

You ?? me ?? we could just wait loh !!

Who ask you and me don't get to own a Honda Accord meh ?

But seriously, i really wonder what is the moral level of these
people you know ?

For such a simple thing like to queue for your turn on the road
also they can't follow, would you expect these people to play
fair and play clean in actual business ?

I seriously doubt that !

The One About KL is a Funny Place 3.

A lot of drivers in KL are funny, they only will start digging for toilet hole
when their shit almost come out from their rectum !!

I bet this 7883 is also one of it !!

People queue 500 meters and follow the lane to turn left, and this guy
just simply cut the queue at the last 10 meters, what the hell is wrong
with this guy's brain ? Or he is rushing to dig a toilet hole to wash his
head ? I don't know...

By the way, is there a place where we can send these photo to and
let the authorities to help these people ? I mean help them to wash
their head in the toilet bowl or something ?

The One About KL is a Funny Place 4.

Kuala Lumpur is a funny place, well most of the time.

You see, the lorry drives at the fast lane while the rest have
to siam and let them move !!

No wonder these lorry has very high accident rates eh ?

Oh and sometimes these lorries were not properly cleaned
up and the sand and rocks would just keep on falling from
the cargo area and if you are too near behind them, you
risk your windscreen shattered ....

Stay away from these lorries mate !!

Boy sometime I wish that there are more JPJ and police
on the road and issue some a lot of tickets
to these drivers.

Dulan betul !

The One About Memory Lost !

For the past few days there were so many topics that I
wanted to write about, especially in the morning at around
7 am or so, when I was just wake up from sleep.

So many ideas and thoughts to be written down.

But, after taking bath, shaving my face, perhaps some poo
poo and by the time I started my car, all the idea and thoughts
were gone.

Should I get a notepad and start writing down the points and
thoughts ??

Or am I getting old already ?? Neah !!!

THe One About Identify The Cleanest Spot.

Attached herewith is a photo of the male toilet in my office.
Could you identify which area is the cleanest spot with least
dust and dirt ?

And perhaps give me the reason why would you think that
the spot is the place ? Why ?

If you could correctly tell me which area, i might consider
giving you a big thumb up and perhaps a good lunch the
next time I see you : )

The One About Errr..

她 16岁怀孕了，老爸对那男的说了 8个字

一个16 岁的女孩跟她母亲说她已经2 个月没来了……
母亲一听不得了赶紧去药房买了验孕剂来确认一下 …… 　　
结果女孩真的怀孕了！

母亲又哭又骂的问到： "到底是那个浑蛋干的好事，
你给我从实招来！！ "

女孩只好打了通电话……

　
半小时后，一部全新的法拉利跑车疾驶到了
女孩家门，

而跨出车门的是位全身名牌衣着又风度翩翩
的中年绅士。 　　

绅士进入屋内与女孩及她的父母双亲在客厅
坐了下来。
"午安！" 绅士礼貌的向她们问候并说道：
" 令媛刚刚告知了我这个大问题，但是因为
我的个人家庭问题，很抱歉我无法娶令媛为妻，
不过我会负该负的责任！"

" 这样好了，如果生的是女孩，我会留3 家店面，
2 间房子，1栋海边别墅及一个 200万美金的帐
户给她。 "

"如果生的是男孩，我会让他继承 2家公司再加
上一个200 万美金的帐户。"

" 如果生的是双胞胎，那就每人继承1 家公司还
有各100 万美金的帐户。"

" 但如果不幸流产了……"

此时在一旁沉默已久的父亲，突然站起来，
并把手紧紧的搭在绅士的肩上后说：
"那你就再干她一次！！

The One About Drinking Chinese Tea.

My company's men loves to drink Chinese tea, mee too, but I
drink all soft of tea as long as they are not Teh Tarik which is
way too sweet yeah.

One day I took my cup of tea and was walking from pantry back
to my desk and i heard the ladies talking...

Miss A :" Wah kai hong drinking tea again ah ?"

Miss K:" Yeah loh Kai Hong always drink tea one ?"

Miss A:" Kai Hong keep fit ah ? drinking slimming tea ah ?"

Me -_-" and "......... "

Miss K: " Tea nice meh ? No taste one ? "

Miss A :" All the man in this office are like old man like that,
always drink tea one lek ! even Kai Hong drink tea liao !"

Me lagi -_-"

So now, you all know why the world most famous and succesful
riffle is called AK-47 liao yeah ?

Non stop topic and non stop conversation one woh !!

The One About Viva Last Vegas.

Got to listen to more of song like the one
down here, by Elvis Presley.... feel so easy
and relax yet got the power....


Bright light city gonna set my soul
Gonna set my soul on fire
Got a whole lot of money thats ready to burn,
So get those stakes up higher
Theres a thousand pretty women waitin out there
And theyre all livin devil may care
And Im just the devil with love to spare
Viva las vegas, viva las vegas

How I wish that there were more
Than the twenty-four hours in the day
cause even if there were forty more
I wouldnt sleep a minute away
Oh, theres black jack and poker and the roulette wheel
A fortune won and lost on evry deal
All you needs a strong heart and a nerve of steel
Viva las vegas, viva las vegas

Viva las vegas with you neon flashin
And your one armbandits crashin
All those hopes down the drain
Viva las vegas turnin day into nighttime
Turnin night into daytime
If you see it once
Youll never be the same again

Im gonna keep on the run
Im gonna have me some fun
If it costs me my very last dime
If I wind up broke up well
Ill always remember that I had a swingin time
Im gonna give it evrything Ive got
Lady luck please let the dice stay hot
Let me shout a seven with evry shot
Viva las vegas, viva las vegas,
Viva, viva las vegas