An (not A ) Urban Legend in Malaysia !!

What is an urban legend?
Peter van der Linden and Terry Chan seem to think in their alt.folklore.urban FAQ:

"An urban legend:

* appears mysteriously and spreads spontaneously in varying forms
* contains elements of humor or horror (the horror often "punishes" someone who flouts society's conventions).
* makes good storytelling.
* does NOT have to be false, although most are. ULs often have a basis in fact, but it's their life after-the-fact (particularly in reference to the second and third points) that gives them particular interest."

You know UL ( Urban Legend ) is quite popular in Malaysia too,
you know when you were a kid, your mama or grandma always
tell you a story ( normally it carries a moral value behind it )
but sometimes the story sounds so damn scary ( sorry ma, rude
word used here, cause I am adult liao loh wah aha ha )

Among them :

1. If you don't finish your rice completely and empty your plate,
you will get a bf or gf or ahkuaf with a lot of pimples on the face.
Hence I quickily finished all the rice and my plate completely 100%. And guess what? Yeah I have a pretty gf now without pimples but wah aha ha my body get very fat leh !!
It is impossible for a mirro to have 2 face right? cause the faces are huge and fat wah aha ha !!

2. If you use a red string and needle to connect your windows
of your room to a nearby Banana Tree, in the midnight the Banana
Spirit ( should be pretty girl ) will appear in your room and ush
ush with you..... till you are dried !!! get what I mean ??
I did that as well too....
End of the day ( 34 days ) all the semut api and semut-semut
move from the banana tree to my room via the stupid string.
No Banana Spirt , No Pretty Girl , No Ah Moi, only Ridsect to kill
the ants !! Bloody Stupid !!

3. If you put a big mirror infront of you, and at midnight you sit
infront of the mirror, and start to use a knife to remove the apple
skin, remove the skin continuesly and make the skin a long long
spiral like spring stuff. A ghost will appear in the mirror and kill you.
2 actual ending :
a) You accidently hurt your fingers cause it is too dark.
2) You finished removing the apple skin, the door room opened,
ieeeekkkk.... Ah Kok walk out and take the apple and eat it.....
Crunzh crunzh crunzh crunzh and said :
=============================
" why you touch my apple?"
" RM 0.65 each you know?"
" My puasa food you know?"
" Oi ! Mahu apple pergi beli sendiri at Tesco lah ! Curi my apple !"
" www.gnn.com"
" www.mcbai.com"

4. If you steal people food and eat it, you will get a terrible stomachache. This one I totally agree !!!

Yesterday I was alone in the house ( 21 Jan 2005 ) cause it is
Hari Raya Haji and I have no where to go. Hence I decided to cook
myself some lunch ( Mee Mammie Premium : Tom Yam flavor )
then I cook cook cook....

Suddenly the mini fridge ( really mini lah ) of our house opened
itself and I pun terkejut, and I slowly walk to see what is inside.
Oh My God !!

It is the sausages that Ah Kok has purchased a few days ago.
The sausages were calling my name , " Philips !! Philips !! Philips!"
And one of the sausage suddenly jumped out from the fridge, and
want to run into Ah Kok's bilik tidur !!

I said WTF I have just mop the floor woh !!

Then I was becoming damn kan jiong already, hence I quickily did
a double summersault whoosh whoosh and capture the dang
sausage with my both hands.

The sausage ( the name is Ah Tim, later I found out ) struggled in
my hands and cursing at me.

Sausage " Let me go you fat Philips ! "

I said " No , Tim please go back to the fridge please !"

Sausage " No ! You farking stupid Philips !!"

I said " I am sorry but I can't let you go, Ah Kok will scold me !"

Sausage " F U you dick head, Nei Ngao Ngo Sek Ah ?"

I said " Tim don't push me Tim !! Please !"

Sausage " Ptui ..... !! " and spit on me !

I became angry already, I forced it back to the fridge and before
I could close the fridge door, Ah Tim kicked me at the
"kukukechiao" place and it was damn painful !! Adui !!! Sakit !!
The pain is not at the "kukukechiao" place or area, the pain comes
from deep inside your stomach, near the Tan Tian place....

Now I am really pissed off !!

I re-opened the fridge can hold Tim at my right hand, and he bite
me on my hand !! Adui Sakit !!
And he said to me " Eat me you dick head ! "

So I did, I put Tim into my half cooked Mammie Mee and he is
killed immediately with his last word " you will regret !!! you will !!"
"ppppuuuuuutttt !!!

========> and that fucking idiot fart / farted in my mee !!!


Well I was too hungry then, just don't care anything and eat the
mamie TomYam Flavor mee and...... 3 hours later...

My stomach, kit kit kat kat !!! kit kit kit kat kat kat !!
kit kit kit kit kit !! kat kat kat kat kat !!

And 10 minutes later my stomach <== Mou Han Kit Mou Han Kat !

And end up I was pili palaking in the toilet !! Mein Gott im Himmel

That's why my mother and grandmother said :" don't steal and
eat other's people's food !"

Thank you lord ! thank you!