Very Accurate Test

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>NOT HERE... MY FRIEND
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>I SAID LOOK DOWN....
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>NOT SCROLL DOWN...AIYO !!!
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Sarjan Philip

Pagi ini apa bila saya mencukur muka saya untuk membuangkan
semua bulu-bulu yang tumbuh di muka saya, saya telah
terfikir mengenai masa depan negara saya Malaysia yang
saya sayangi.

6 hari lagi sebelum tibanya Hari Kemerdekaan Malaysia yang
ke 49 namum masih Malaysia mempunyai terlalu banyak perkara
yang harus diperbaiki dengan segera.

Sayangnya, sebuah negara yang begitu indah, cantik dan sesuai
dihuni, tetapi dibebani pelbagai masalah yang ditimbulkan
oleh parti-parti yang memang tidak berguna langsung.

Semakin saya fikir semakin sedih, teramat sedih sehingga
tercukurnya muka saya yang licin lagi menawan.

Pisau cukur yang mempunyai 2 bilah mata pisau ini adalah
amat tajam dan telah meninggalkan 2 kesan ke atas muka
saya dan saya terus" Apacik! Muka sudah rosak -_-" "

Tengok-tengok muka saya, mujur tak dalam luka dan kesan
tersebut, tetapi sudah nampak seperti seorang tentera
yang membuat tatoo di atas mukanya sendiri.






-_-"




Benci betul !! Kenapakah hanya 2 luka dan bukan 3 luka? Kalau
dua luka pangkat saya hanyalah pankat Korporal.

Kalau saya boleh tambah lagi satu luka, maka 3 garis bermaksud
saya telah berpangkat sarjan.

Sarjan Wong Sarjan Philips....

Wah !! Gaya betul !!

Sarjan Sarjan !! Tabik Hormat Sarjan, Selamat Pagi Sarjan !!

Gaya Mesti Ada !!!

Pantyhose when jogging why?

Me," Wei why you wear pantyhose to jogging place?"

Ms Chin," Got a lot of mosquito at park at 7-8 pm."

Me," Wtfknnbbq? You go jogging or crawling?"

Ms Chin -_-"

Pantyhose on fire ?? lolrotf !!

Today Ms Chin from USJ MSN me and said she gave up
jogging lately.

I asked why.

She replied," I gave up jogging bcoz my thighs kept
rubbing together & alomost setting my pantyhose on
fire haha."

Hastalavista Alamak Wtfknnbbq????? Pantyhouse on fire?

Then go jog with Fire Extinguisher lah !!

And where got people in Malaysia go jogging wearing
freaking Pantyhouse one??

Feeling like a successful businessperson.

Last night, actually this morning went to bed at the
hotel at 2 am and woke up at 6:50 am -_-"

Perhaps that i had enough of sleep without disturbance
of noice etc but I am sure that my snores would have
disturbed my father. I think my father dreamed about
being tied at KLIA and LCCT and millions of planes takes off and landing besides him LOLROTF !!

Luckily my mother and sister are in another room and
they must dream about quiet place like library or
something like that.

Guy who snores = Real Guy !!

At about 7 am captured a few photos from the hotel
windows and went to take a hot water bath. The hot water here is so hot we could use them to cook soup
or you know, hmmmm, make Milo Panas or Teh Tarik panas.

Nevertheless the hot water cleaned myself like nothing
else and all the dirt and oil and stuff like that.

Gone in the drain lol !!

Feeling fresh now, and time is only 7:46 am. Working,
actually blogging and check emails from lap top here
and feeling like a damn succesfull businesperson like
that.

I like this feeling.

Ipoh the Wifi City ?

I am now at 79, Jalan CM Yussuf, 30250, Ipoh Perak.

This place is called Lucky Hotel and I am in a room
at facing the main road and it's RM70 per night.

The best thing is, this place has WiFi signal and it
belongs to Lucky Hotel Connecton 2 -_-"

One day when Ipoh and Penang become the primary and
developed states in Malaysia while PJ and KL become
poor and lousy state, I would not and will not and
shall not be sad at all, I see this day will come!!

It's feeling so nice to be able to blog from hotel room
with WiFi ( Strong signal ) But just now when I was
asking the receptionist if there is any Wi Fi here.

The guy was totally clueless -_-"

Probably he is from PJ or KL kot !!

Addy Ho

Addy Ho is my uncle ( My mother's youngest brother ) and he is exactly
12 years older then me.

When he was like 17 and 18 years old that time he used
to take me on a ride on Honda Cup motorbike and I was
only 5 or 6 years old that time, a lot of fun !!!

I remembered he studied hard during the SPM time and
now he is once of the richest guy in our family. We are
so proud of him.

He is now working as a FC or something like that in an
French MNC in Klang Valley and he enjoys the work pretty much.

He was using an old mobile phone ( White LED light )
for the past few years and after numerous complain and
warning from his French boss, he had finally decided
to get a new mobile phone.

So he walked into the mobile phone shop. There was this
salesgirl there and the girl asked,

" Good morning how may I help you."

Addy," I want to get a phone."

Girl," What type of phone that you would like?"

Addy," For old man one !"

Girl -_-" and pointed at a bunch of used phone and
said," You mean those? used cheap phone?"

Addy -_-"

Addy," No, I need a new phone, and FIY old man phone
means, can make call, can receive call, can SMS with
easy to press mia big buttons, that's all."

The girl -_-" and "Oh I see, aiseh, ok ok !! "

The girl showed everything to Addy Ho and said
" Nah, this is all I have for Old Man !"

So, Addy Ho ended up getting Sony Ericsson W700i wtf.

It's like Changing a car from Kancil to Jaguar lah !!

And Addy Ho is so happy LOLROTF !!

Satisfaction

This morning before I came out to work I grabbed an apple from the fridge and had it eaten in the car.

After that, I continued with 1 red bean bread and 1 bun
with chicken ham and cheese.

Damn happy now in office that the stomach has the correct combination of food ( breakfast ) and feeling a little bit sleepy already at 9:14 am in the office -_-"

Oh no !!!!!!!

Quote of the day Aug 2006 14th.

This morning my boss asked me for some help over some
Sabah map and things like that.

I replied," Ok I am on it ! "

Boss," Kai Hong, hmmm, teach me how to search. Teach me
how to fish, don't just give me the fish ok?"

Now that's what I am talking about! A learning boss !!

I look you up sir ! I do !!

Managers vs Leaders.

Someone sent these info to me and I don't know who is
the actual author or writter of these. But I would like
to thank whoever the person who wrote these inspiring
pieces.

And after checking and understanding them, I am actually a person someone between managers and leaders.

Meaning that I am nobody LOLROTF, really!!

If someone tells you that, " Oh you are very nice!"

You better don't be jolly happy cause there is no
other word to describe you already.

Read on and tell me if I belongs to which group.

Managers administer, leaders innovate.

Managers ask how and when, leaders ask what and why.

Managers focus on systems, leaders focus on people.

Managers do things right, leaders do the right things.

Managers maintain, leaders develop.

Managers rely on control, leaders inspire trust.

Managers have a short-term perspective, leaders have a longer-term perspective.

Managers accept the status-quo, leaders challenge the status-quo.

Managers have an eye on the bottom line, leaders have an eye on the horizon.

Managers imitate, leaders originate.

Managers emulate the classic good soldier, leaders are their own person.

Managers copy, leaders show originality.

Go on, pass on all these information.

Regards
Kai Hong

Groundnuts

Yesterday I was at the supermarket buying some junk food and today's breakfast.

I took a few items, one of them is a pack of roasted
groundnuts, and fat lady spotted that.

She asked," Dear, what's that in your hand?"

Me," Oh it's a pack of roasted ground nuts."

She asked," Why you buy these nuts leh?"

Me," To eat yeah, you know ? eat ?"

She -_-" , " Why ?"

Me," Cause, dear did you know, that I could only able
to get to eat groundnuts during people's funeral and
during Chinese New year?"

Fat Lady -_-" and 10 seconds later," Yeah also hor!"

Me," So, may I buy a pack please?"

Fat Lady," Ok lah, since you don't watch football and
don't drink beer, so I grant you this purchase !"

me Yeaaahhooo !!!!

-_-" Get approval to buy a pack of groundnuts also so
happy .......

Yeah of course i am happy, else I only get to eat
those during someones funeral and Chinese New year.

Damn rare occasion ok?

流金歲月的點滴

Update 13 Aug 2006.

11:04 am, came back from TTDI park and eggs are intact!

Wheew !!!

Jason ! Don't look my Power Shoe No Up ok ?

And I did not Pokkai, I skidded, you know ? Like piu yee
tak jadi but Skidded ??

Power Shoe Rocks !!! Rm69.99 !!!

And it's a Canadian Brand you know ?? hmm ??

You know the mountain got tiger, but still insist to go.

Now it is 7:50 am and I am prepared to go back to TTDI
jogging track.

Risking the eggs to be broken again, I think today I
would wear 2 underwear or put some sponge down there.

And today I am bringing Fat lady along to the track
with the Emergency toolbox.

Stay tuned to see if there is any eggs or anything
broken today later in the afternoon.

And if you never see me posting any blog again, ever.

Means that I broke the eggs and died, and I would like
to say I love you all and thanks for reading my blogs.

God Bless My Eggs !! Godspeed !

The Eggs, almost broken !!! -_-"

This morning woke up quite early at 7 am something and
it's a Saturday.

I looked at my tummy, it looked back at me smiling !!

I pointed at it and said loudly," That's it! you are
out !! "

Yeah, I went for a 2 + 1 walking at TTDI park !!

The atmosphere was really moisted and damp at the park
due to perhaps fogs and some rain last night and the
track was really really wet and slippery.

There was a cable bridge at the park and the ground of
the bridge is made of wood. First round past the bridge
i slowed down cause there were a lot of people.

Second round over the bridge there wasn't any people
on the bridge so I increased my speed.

5 more meters and i would be finished crossing the
blardy bridge and suddenly " Chi Ki Pa Pow !! "

My shoe slipped ( ABS did not work, BA did not work )
and my gravity point shifted to my ass ( big ass )
and my big ass landed first giving pleasure to them.

Skidding = Slipping without control lol !!! -_-"

-_-" geee, did i just say pleasure ??? LOL

You know, typical slip and ass down first with 2 legs
at the front.

I quickily looked back to see if I would block any others
joggers at the back and there were 3 ladies at 50 meters
behind, probably felt the earth quake and some tremors
too.

-_-" never mind !! I rub rub my ass a little bit.

A little bit of pain only, not too bad lol !!

I quickily ran a full system check, all organ fine and
oh luckily i landed ass first instead of eggs first.

Else, it's going to be really-really painful morning !

Here I would like to say a big thank you to my ass for
buffering the fall and providing a cushion for the
eggs, for my children, and the children's children !!

I hereby announce today 12 Aug is the world " Be Nice
to your Ass Day !!"

Let's celebrate by ordering 2 fried eggs LOLROTF !!!

Lucky for me this morning, really, really lucky !!

Do you need a job ??

I was at PC Fair today looking for some potential girls
customers and prospects.

I walked walked walked and a lot of people has spoken and
asked me questions such as.

Sir, you need free Modem ??

Sir, you need Streamyx ? Free Modem + USB drive.

Sir, new Intel Duo Core bla bla bla...

I politely declined until I heard this one.

Girl looked at me up dan down, and asked

" Sir, do you need a job ?"

Me -_-" and wtf ??

I replied," Oh, I already have one, thank you !"

www.jobstreet.com.my if I am not mistaken. Thanks for
the concern and attention given but, it sort of makes
me feel like I am a jobless person wasting time in PC
fair like that, or do I really looked like a person
without a job ?? Do i ?? hmmm ?? Do i ???

LOLROTF " Sir, do you need a job?" Classic one !!

Kepong Mia Durian !!

Yesterday went to Kepong with John and Mr Lam for
a covert operation. Code name Operation Durian Storm III.

One word to describe = Syiokelinggem !! Very Syiklelinggem
indeed !!

Since my mother ask me to eat more fruits, and I always been
a good boy, so I mar eat more fruits ( read : durian ) loh !!

Map of Kepong durian would be avaiable at later stage.

It's just near the Kepong Pasar Malam near Kei Tak Sek area.

From LDP Kepong Toll about 10 minutes. Make a u-turn after
Caltex Petrol Station will lead to Taman Bukit Maluri or
Manjarala Area and .... we shall look at the map later eh!

Burrppp !! OMFG !!

Each time I burp now, the bacteria in my room dies !! All
of them dies.

And each time I burp again, the dogs at the backlane of my
house stop barking for 2 hours, and fall dead !!

And eacth time I burp again, my face will turn green don't
know why, like incredible hulk guy.

Warming up at Kepong.

John, Mr Lam and me doing durian warming up.
And yes as you can see all the seeds of the day
are super small and mini don't know why.

only 1 normal size seed visible on the table
and I wonder if you could notice or not ??

LOLROTF !!

John's Seeds.

The durian seeds at John's side of table during the 1/4 time recess. And it is obvious that he is really far behind me on body seed counts. Mana boleh cabar saya like this ?? -_-"

27 seeds and most of them are mini or super mini seeds. RM120, 3 person, 3 durian, 1/2 hour at Kepong 10th Aug 2006. A very special night to remember. Thanks to Mr. John Lim again !!

Quote of the day.

A balanced diet is chocolates in one hand and durian
at the other hand.

Amanda said 1/2 of these.

Today, the agency which I serviced and helped to win a battle a few weeks ago in somewhere in Malaysia called me and said that they are awarding a Silver Star for me. The statement given was that I " Fought bravely and saved civilian's and colleagues life " I asked what have I done? They said I was brave because I single handed destroyed and ate a lot of durian, and hence eliminated the possibility of the durians for further hurting and Chi Kekying those civilian's who don't eat durian, such as Amanda, my sister etc. Well, by eating durian also can get a Silver Star. That's not bad at all my friend.

When the Operation Durian Storm was finally over, we ( Malaysian Marines ) did a body count. It was a bloody war and we fought good in the operation. And my parents would be really proud of what I have done for this country. I single handed taken care of 11 enemies and it was within 20 minutes time. Not a single bullet nor bomb wasted. All casualties's caused of death = get eaten by me.

OMG ! The mother of all happiness !! The meat was so tender and the aroma flies to 50 meters away and when it melt in your mouth, your brain freezes and jam and , the sky turn dark, cats bite dogs, earth stop spinning and God says," Wow, good durian there! " that's what happened, i sumpah !!

A lot of durian at SS2 Ah Wai ( the proud owner of www.ss2durian.com ) place. All these are called XO durian, why is it XO i don't know, but for sure these are super good durian. And I was the happiest person on earth that moment ! Photos taken by Affida's camera. Thanks to her !

I ate only 11 units or seeds only as the durian session was immediately after heavy dinner at Sunway. Super thanks to John Lim our good friend and colleague. Still for some people 11 units would be a lot of durian, is it? Neah !

Husband and wife -_-"

One fine day, a husband asked his wife.

Husband:" Dear, why everytime when I get mad on you and scold you, how come you'd never fight back ? How you control your anger leh?"


Wife:" Oh darling, I go wash the toilet bowl yeah!"


He asked:" Really? How does washing toilet bowl help
controlling your anger?"


Wife:" Simple, I use YOUR TOOTHBRUSH to clean it!"

Husband -_-"

Price of Solid State Storage Price ( USB drive )

About 4 or 5 years ago I bought myself a Trek(tm) brand
USB drive (64mb capacity ) and it cost me like RM 140.00 or RM180.00.

Last week, we went to this Low Yatt Plaza and the people there were selling a Pendrive(tm) brand 1024MB ( 1 gigabyte ) one at the cost of RM75.00.

-_-"

From RM2.81 perMB to RM 0.07 perMB. OMG !!

That is a lot of diffrences eh ?? Sort of like the
value of some pretty girls before they reach the age of 25 years old.

LOLROTF !! Run Away Very-very fast !!

Happy Ghost Festival.

Yesterday was chatting with Ms Lim via msn.

Me:" Wei Ms Lim you know today is 14 Jul (七月十四) ?? "

She:" Don't know woh. Iyer ! Scary leh !"

Me:" What scary, this morning I already saw a few in my place."

She:" What ? Iyer, why you can see them one?"

Me: Of course lah ! This early morning I looked inside my bowl of Bak Kut Teh, a few of them Oil Fried Ghost was floating in the soup. I see already damn kesian at them, so I mar help them to get out of the hot soup and then place them in a safe place loh."

She:" Which safe place ? You are so nice !"

Me:" My stomach loh, burp ! "

She:" mcbknnbbqlpplklialcct! LOL !!"

Me:" Happy Ghost Festival ok ? "

She:" Same to you too Remco Kai Hong!"

To those good brothers out there, we hope you have enjoyed your stay and wish you all the best out there.

See you again next year and take care !!

I need a TV.

Have been living without at TV since Feb 2006 till today and the feeling was strange.

I was like totally out dated and when sit down at mamak store I looked at the TV advertisement it's all new and felt interesting to look at them.

You know, like you spent 6 months on moon and when you go home, all the TV ads are new and you will not change channel... and you will just sit there and watch the ads with your mouth opened.... that feeling !!

However I am still able to watch some DVD and MPEG4 from my 15 inch LCD monitor and had some fun there.

Last night told one of my best friend that
"Oh ! An 21" TV is around RM299 only ! "

This morning she bank in RM300 for me in my account.

-_-"

I called her up," Oi ! Crazy ah ?"

She," Nolah, go and buy yourself a TV lah ok?"

Me," No ! I want a Plasma TV, don't want 21 inch normal TV !! Give you back RM300 !"

She," Ptui ! Wait long long lah you, wtfknnbbq !"

Me," No No No ! I don't want 21 inch TV ! I want only
plasma or maybe LCD TV only please ?????? "

Kooppppp !! Duuuuuttttttt !! She hanged up on me !!

-_-" wtfknnbbqklia ??

Kenny's Captain.

On Sunday was having brunch at some Roasted Chicken restaurant (owned by a famous country singer) and there was this lady waitress approached us.

Lady," Good morning what would be your order pls?"

Me," Hmm... give me a quarter chicken... bla.bla.."

Fat Lady and brothers," bla..bla..bla..."

Lady," Hot and Spicy or Original ??"

All of us -_-"

Lady," Whoopppss !! I mean, errr... Pepper? Original?"

Me," Oh Hor !! You were from the famous Fried Chicken
restaurant is it ?"

Lady," No lah, where got ! "

Me," Are you sure? Hot and Spicy woh ???"

Lady face red-red and ran away with orders later while the rest of us LOLFOTL.......

流金歲月的點滴

This morning woke up at 8:15 am and oh it's a Sunday.

Yeah and I have got things to do today.

Clean up the F-117 engine, throttle body.(8:20am)

Site Visit at Sri Gombak.(11:00am)

Do laundry.(1:00pm)

Read news paper.(1:00pm)

Clear of some office works.(4:00pm)

Man I love to wake up early on Sunday morning.

Cold Morning Today !

Woke up at 4:30 am and looked outside the windows and
it was raining out there !!

OMG I was so happy that it rained in the morning, hence
i opened my windows and let the cool air come in to my
room at free flow method !

In fact i felt really cool that I just turned off the
fan and sleep until 7 am from there.

Hmmm... to whoever controls the weather up there today,
i just want to say that you have done a very good job
and i would like to thank you there.

If it is ok with you i hope that you could keep the
weather like this everyday and I think I would get a
lot of good sleep and save some electricity at the
same time.

Thanks dude !! Good job !!

p/s: Tomorrow is Saturday, could you do the same too?

In fact, let's rain from 12am till 8 am for this
Saturday and Sunday so that I can sleep good ? Please?

And this morning when i woke up and take bath, the
water from the tap was cold !!! LOL !! Just like the
good old days when back to Kampung time yahoo !!

Cold water from taps, what else is better then this?

LOL!!

Blur Morning

This morning was on the way to office when I noticed
that my Lap Top and Working Bag are NOT in the car -_-"

And I had to turn back half way to my house and get these
2 things from my room.

Result, 9 minutes late to work mcbknnbbqklia!!!

Lately I have been a little bit blur, one day I left my
credit card at the petrol station and realize that 6
hours later.

And one day, don't know what also did something blur
and Fat Lady was looking at me and asked

" Dear, are you ok? You seems blur lately !"

Me," Yeah, I guess I was. Ate too much durian, brain
jammed already I guess !"

Fat Lady terus 2 legs in the sky.
She said," Yeah, durian no good one !"

" No lah, I think I eat too less too little durian,
that's why the brain become slower, need to go SS2 for
the durian later of today ok? "

Raja Kunyit a.k.a Mau San Wong I am coming bebeh !!

I am coming !!!

Define Good Durians.

How to determine if the durian is good ?

The durian can't be too dry or moisted.

The durian should be bitter and sweet.

Once you eat that durian, your brain will freeze.

You can smeel the durian 50 meters away.

The durian fruits and case are not too intact.

The durian name is " Raja Kunyit".

Code name of durian = Mau San Wong.

The durian comes from Pahang or Penang or Muar.

Your pee will smell like cooking gas after you eat that particular durian.

When you burp, the sky become dark, the dog barks and the birds die falling from sky. That's good durian.

Your girlfriend refuse to kiss you good night and even not good morning kiss the second morning. That's good durian too ! I mean that is definitely good durian.

You get sore throat 2 days later -_-"

If you have something that match all that, die die also must eat this durian, cause only the best of the best of the best durian has the feature above, and you better trust me on this one !!!

Durian Season in Kuala Lumpur.

I failed the urine test !! I failed !!!

Can you believe that I failed my Urine Test 2 days ago?

The result? Get banned from Durian for the rest of the
life LOL MCBKNNBBQ !!

On Sunday afternoon my good friend John called me up and
asked if I am free at 2pm to 3pm in the afternoon.

I said," Sure what's up ?"

He said," Let's go SS2 Durian shall we ?"

I replied," Waho ! Nice ! Let's go ! "

So by 3:30 pm we were sitting there whacking the SS2
durian like there is no tomorrow like that. LOL and
boy I felt darn happy that time !!

After about 30 minutes of the happiest moment on earth
I did a body count ( read : durian seeds count ) and
infront of me was 13 or 14 seeds of Class A Super Grade
Mau San Wong ( Raja Kunyit ) -_-"

I looked at John, and was confused...

John," Wah Liew ! New World Champion of Durian !"

Me," No lah , no lah! Not all mine, some Fat Lady mia!"

Fat Lady," Oi Oi ! Want to die is it ? knnbbqmcb!"

Me LOLROTF !!

Anyway, to sit down and enjoy good ( read: Super Good )
durian with good friends on a cossy Sunday afternoon
is really priceless !! Thanks a lot again John !!

And we went back after that.

Fat Lady," Don't you burp infront of me ok ?"

Me," Ok -_-" ( Yeah right ok ! )

And after that Fat Lady went to bath room after we
reached home.

Can't tahan liao, broke a burp in room with air cond.

10 minutes later, Fat Lady -_-"

Fat Lady," Dear, did you burped ? "

Me," -_-" No lah, where got ?"

Fat Lady," Strange, why our room got cooking gas smell
one ?"

Me tahan the laugh and pretended innocent.

10 minutes later went to bath room and pee-pee.

LOL knnmcbbbq the bath room was full of Cooking Gas
smell, wtf of durian was that ? Eat already urine got
gas smell one -_-"

Didn't try to light a match, else whole room will
explode eh ?

4am !! 4 am OMG !!

Yesterday came home late at about 9 something after
everything is done. Felt so darn tired and went to
bed at 10:30 pm LOL !!

Another sign of aging and I am becoming like the old
folks already.

And here I am, 4:20 am, woke up 100% and started doing
things already.

Geee.... I hate to sleep at 10:30 pm and wake up at
4:00 am OMG !!

A friend of mine in Hong Kong last time told me,

" Oi you think you are baby ah? Sleep at 10 pm LOL !"

I replied,

" No dear, I was really tired and has nothing to do !"

She was then 2 legs in the sky and said nothing else.

But then, to sleep at 10:30 pm and wake up at 4:00 am
sounds so wrong technically !!

LOL ! Let's go for a walk at TTDI park at 6 am shall
we? Ok affirmative !