Burrrpp !! Excuse me mate !! Durian smell burp coming !! Evacuate
and Class One(1) alert !!!
Wah ha ha ha ha !!!
There were some important guest from Singapore & Korea today to
our factory for some purchase and delivery schedule stuff. After
the meeting I went out with my boss and the guest to dinner.
We had our dinner at West Lake Garden ( Expensive !! Mahal !!) and after that we sent the guest to the airport and resumed our
identity = freeman & food predator.
My boss :" Eh ! Where got sale durian ah?"
Me :" mein Gott im Himmel !! we just had dinner leh !! "
My boss :" I don't care, eat first, die later !! "
Me, looked at my tummy ( which looked like a pregnant whale !!)
and apologize to my tummy, have to trouble you already, I said.
Pressed the "War Mode" button of my Proton Wira and it converted
into F-117. Infra-red goggle & bullet proof vest + helmet ...
( fark cannot wear the vest cause tummy too fat !!! )
Push the throttle to max ( after burner burning steadily ) and the
F117 left Sunway Air Base covered by the night. 20 seconds later
our F-1117 was all over LDP and monitoring it from 10,000 feet
above.
Cruising the F-117 at a moonless night like today is safe and fun
cause you get to see everybody down there via the infrared
camera and nobody would ever notice you from down there.
When we were near Kelana Jaya area, I lowered the F-117 to
perform a slow cruise along with the LRT. The people who just
came back from work in the LRT couldn't even notice us cause
our engine noise was very low and, the colour of the F-117 was
designed to fly by night and asorb any light.
We could see some lady resting on the shoulder of the boy friend
and some working guy who looked extremely tired. Some student
still having good time spending their parents money with the latest I-Pod & 1.3Mega Pixel Camera Phone in the LRT....
This made me feel heartache, pulled back to 10,000 feet altitude.
Boss :" Philips, how long ETA ?? Objective review report pls "
Me :" Affirmative !! Target area 7km ETA 5 minutes. "
Me :" Objective, BP Kiosk SS2 near Police Station. Roger "
Meanwhile, 50km away Sgt. Roger bin Ramli jumped off his chair
and asked :" Who was calling my name ? Hmm? Hmm? "
Boss:" Philips, looks like we have the attack windows, 9 oclock!"
Me :" Copy ! Preparing evasive maneuvering !! Over !!
Meanwhile, 80km away Uncle Ho started to copy more of the Star Wars Episode III : Revenge of the Sith !! "
Boss:" Careful !! Carefull !! AAM !! AAM !! 3 oclock !! "
Me :" Acknowledged ! Flare deployed !!! "
System " AAM misguided to Putrajaya !! "
Me over radio :" Boy I am good !!! "
10 seconds later, some building sewege system in Putrajaya was
hit by unkown missile. The Indah Water consortium sent their
people to investigate. CSI Level 3 officer Nick Stroke was there
too.
Result, swamp gas explosion !! Yeah right !!!
Regained altitude after the evasive maneuvering to avoid the AAM
and we were again circling the sky of SS2. SS2 and PJ looked so
nice in the night with all the lights and cars and so.
Monitor showed that we are 3 km away from target. Suddenly 3
Mig 29 appears in the AERD ( Advance Enemy Vehicle Recongization
Radar ) and simultaniously 14 AAM launched towards us !!!
Shit !! Shit !! Shit !! No flare remains and the air-crafts F-117 is
not designed for Dog Fight.
13 seconds to the impact !!! Monitor kept beeping !! Warning lights
were also blinking like there is no tomorrow !! Shit shit !!!
Suddenly my I received the message from my radio, the voice,
voice:" How to Piu yee leh?"
Voice:" Its very simple !"
Voice:" When doing cornering... "
Voice:" Pull one pull the hand brake..."
Voice:" The vehicle Piau one piau ...."
Voice:" That's Piu yee ... "
I suddenly had an idea, let's Piu Yee then !! I
pulled the handbrake level ... and fart ! This aint not 86 sports car
and this is F-117 !!!!! Diu loh this time !!!
The level was actually the Emergency Eject level and both of us
got ejected out from the F-117 immediately. And the monitor
showed 2 seconds from AAM incoming impact........
Boss :" Oiii ! Stupid wake up lah !!"
Me :" oh ! dah sampai SS 2 BP Petrol Kiosk !" and suddenly i was
driving my Proton Wira 1.5 again....
Found the durian stall next to the furniture shop behine BP and
police station ( used to be a police station there ) and parked the
car. Looked at the sky, no sign of F-117, no sign of Mig-29, no
moon, no stars and not even a bird. Not to mention Anti Air
Missiles leh !!
I smiled and pulled a table and 2 chair before sitting down with boss
to order some durian. The rest of it, it's enjoy durian time and I
wouldn't want to write about it, might offense those people who
didn't enjoy durian like Amanda, Richard, my sister and so on....
Ate 3 durian with boss and cost RM 42.00 , taste = fantastic !!!
Again let's do the math and calculation :
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