The One About Teaching A Lesson

The stray dogs in my area has becoming worst lately as the dogs
reproduce in a very huge amount and at high speed.

Hence, now there are a several gangs of stay dogs namely:

Midnight attack gang.

Daily surprise gang.

Bike chasing gang.

Making noise gang.

Road blocker gang.

Rubbih cari makan gang.

Ok !!! That is a lot of gang x 5 or 6 that is about 40 stray dogs at
my place. No wonder I see people go jogging carrying stick and
baton just like a High Ranking General or Police Officer.

-_-" eh !!

Anyway, we shall talk or introduce about the individual gangs above
when i have the mood and time to do so yeah !!

But this morning the Road Blocker Gang ( aka Kurang Ajar Gang )
was at work !! They were having fun blocking the road and causing
the cars to slow down and they RESPECT NO LAWS !!!

Me old myself, " Enough is enough !! Teach the guy a lesson !!"

Pressed the F-117 silent mode and the engine became noiseless and
car become super quiet !!

The leader dog still stand at the middle of the road, arse facing me!!

Me " Urgggghhh !!!! " and let the F-117 glide with 20kmph and
give a soft push at the dog leader !!

For us who do precise driving all the time, this is small case cause
we always know how to do this kind of trick !!

Once the F-117 touched the dog, the dog had a shock of it's life and
ran to the road side and looked back at me.

Me, " Hei ! Your grandfather road ah ? "

Dog, " Hei ! You scared me to death you know ? "

Me, " Oh ! Really ? I did that on purpose one ! Didn't feel so ?"

Dog, " You watch out ! "

Me, " You watch out your arse too ! "

Dog, " Hmmmpppffff !!"

Me, " lolrotf !! "

Shifted to 1st gear and accelerate full throttle.

The dog coughed in dust and engine smoke and cried.

Me 1 and Dog 0 !!!

Me won big time !!!

* run fast fast !!

The One About Trees and Lamp posts !!

After lunch today the girls at the back of the car felt
the urgency to go to washroom. " pee pee " they said they
need.

Me, " Ok ! Let me drive a bit faster, but if traffic jam
how eh ? "

Amy, " Hmm... find a tree ! find a tree !!! "

Me, " Why must you find a tree ? If you are about to
explode already but there are no trees to be found, then
how ? Especially at the highway area? "

Amy -_-"

Me, " Why can't you just pee at the lamp post there ?"
( Me pointed at Phileo Damansara lamp post )

Amy -__-"

Moments later, Amy, " You idioteh ! Cause if I pee pee
at the lamp post, it would get rusted !! While if I pee at the
tree it becomes organic fertilizer ! Faham ?"

Me -_-" betul juga !!

This one is dedicated for those who feels like going to explode
but stuck in bad traffic jam mia people.

Muah ah ha ha ha ha ha ha !!!

The One About 5P and 5K

I have a lot of friends from Singapore and some of them are very
lovely one, like one day one of my friend somehow made me
"beh song" hence I insulted him.

I said, " You know you all Singaporean has 5 K ? "

J, " Wtf 5 K ? "

Me, " You Kiasu, Kiasi , Kia Bor, Kia Boh, Kia Zheng Hu!"

怕输 怕死 怕没有 怕老婆 怕政府！

J -_-"

And then J replied," You blardy Malaysian ! You also have 5 4 P!"

Me wtf this round.

J, " You all always Pangsai Pangjio Pangpui Pang Pui Ki !! "
什 么 大 便 小 便 乱 放 屁 还 放 飞 机!

The One About Old Lift.

A lot of ghost or paranormal story/ incident happen inside some old
lift or old building. Especially when there is no one around and when
the night is quiet, no wind....

Today I went to Digital Mall's car park with Amanda and we wanted
to use the lift, Amanda pressed the button and the lift came shortly.

Amanda walked in to the lift which already have 5 person and then I
walked in.

The alarm went off, and the button " Overweight " came on !!!!

Amanda -_-" and the rest of the people behind us also -_-"

I took out my car keys from my pocket and showed everyone the
keys and said, " These keys very heavy, hence overweight !"

Me, " Never mind, I walk with my keys, Amanda ! Come !! "

Then I walked out from the lift proudly with Amanda following me
closely from behind.

Amanda, " Wah Lau eh ! You blame your car keys ah ? "

Me, " Of course lah, I also want to blame the pack of tissue in my
pocket one, but I am in such a hurry you see ? "

Amanda terus 2 legs in the sky !!!

So next time, when the lift become overweight and if you are the
last one to walk in, tell them the truth !! Tell them which are the
items that cause the alarm to go off, such as

Car keys.

Credit card.

Pack of tissue.

Parking ticket ( a lot of time )

Your sun glasses.

Your watch, maybe.

Your handphone, maybe ??

Tell them the truth, it's not your fault, don't worry !!!

* run away !!!

The One About Johntim in Hai Kou

Hai Kou is the major city for Hai Nan Island of China and my friend
Johntim Chia is being sent to Hai Kou for a couple of weeks. After a
few days staying there he reported something funny back to me.

Johntim:" Here you can choose to wear shirt to take bus."
Me:" What ? "

Johntim:" Yeah, it is optional here for you to wear shirt when taking
bus, I have seen people not wearing shirt when they are in the bus!"
Me:" What Da Fark ?? "

Johntim:" Oh yeah ! Here very nice, RM 0.50 you can board the bus
and go to ANYWHERE that you want. "

Me 2 legs in the sky !!!

I am going to Hai Kou one of the day my friend !!!

The One About Healthy Breakfast !!

When I was in From 2 back to 1992, there was this subject called
"Kemahiran Hidup" which basically general knowledge about life as
we grow up and some skills subject.

In one of the chapter it said that " Nasi lemak is a type of balanced
food ( or healthy ) as Nasi Lemak cointains

Rice ( Carbohydrate )

Chicken ( A lot of protein )

Cucumber ( Vegetable, fiber, vitamins etc )

Anchovies ( Seafood, iodine, protein -_-" )

Egg ( Protein and enzyme )

We all trusted what we learnt in school very much and till today we
always practice "Eat Healthy Food "

Let's start babeh !! RM 3.50 for a nice pack of balanced healthy food.

Fat Lady, " But nasi lemak a lot of oil !! "

Me, " Oil is good as it protects our stomach from bacteria and virus !"

Fat Lady -_-" and mouth open big big....

Me added on, " Oil is essential as it contains Vitamin B1, B2 and B3.. "

And, " Oil is good cause it moisturize your skin, preventing water loss!
see my skin ? QQ one , doing doing sound one !! "

Fat Lady =_=" and ....







Fat Lady would probably kill me when she sees this, but, heck for the
happiness of mankind, die die also must publish this one.

The One About Guiness Malta

The original ( above Guiness Malta ) taste as good as ever !!
Very kao ! Sweet and hmmm..... Goood !!!




The new Malta Quench taste, hmmmm, very lite and has normal carbonated
drink taste. For me, I don't like it that much.

Cause I believe no one would drink Malta when they are too thirsty, right ?

Malta is for real man, sitting in front of sofa, after taking a warm bath, and
take a sip and hmmm... that's what Malta for !!

Beer replacement !!

I heard it could help grows beer belly too, no ??

* Going for skipping tomorrow morning.

The One About 30mm Cannon.

The 30mm Cannon is being loaded and the firing system is
being turned on. The target(s) are also are in sight and locked,
waiting to press the Fire button only.

Darn, the finger is so itchy !!!

This time, I set the firing rate to 2,100 round per minute and
we are using the depleted uranium rounds !!

Lock and loaded babeh !

The One About Trojan Horse

A friend of mine asked me how come his PC has trojan horse right
not, as he doesn't download files and do harmful things to his PC.

I told him that sharing USB drive, open connection ( 24 hours broad
band connection ), surfing prawn photos, hackers and all sorts of
reason contributed to Trojan horses etc.

Him, " Then ? How do I get rid of these Trojan Horses ? "

Me, " Simple, you put in 2 hungry tigers and 2 hungry lions, and
in no time the horses and cows and sheep would be all gone !! "

My friend -__-" and har ???

The One About Kura Kura

一 个 朋 友 问 我 : "你 知 道 乌 龟 怎 样 死
的 吗? "

我 答 : " 对 不 起 我 不 知 道 "

她 答 道 : " 慢 到 死 !!! "

=_="

The One About I Am the IT Director !!

Today I was discussing something with my colleague and mumbled
about that I am the company IT exec, IT manager and IT Director
at the same time.

My colleague took a glance at my table and revert, " Nope !"

Me, " What ? "

Colleague, " You need a few screwdrivers on your desk to really
look like IT manager. "

Me looked looked looked, " you are damn right !!! "

Going to buy a screwdriver tomorrow and decorate my desk
already yeah !!

Anyway, there is 3 x 1GB + 2 x 2GB +4 GB + 160GB worth
of external data storage in the photos.




If you could identify every and each of them, I would give you
a international branded T Shirt, to your house address.

I sumpah !!!

* jogging away.

The One About You Think I Am Lulu ?

Lulu is a person that we always refer as a person who is
a little bit slow and nerd and could be cheated upon easily.

Like when your sister want to borrow 50 dollar and pay you
back in 3 years time.

You point at her nose and ask, " You think I am Lulu ah ?? "

Or

When your boyfriend say, " I will buy you a diamond ring
in 4 years time, but i want to kiss you first now, can ah ? "

You should point at his nose, and ask,
" You think I am Lulu ah ? "

Anyway, I was in Digital Mall yesterday and was searching for a
DVD writter for my friends lap top.

Went into a shop and asked the guy if he does have.

The guy, " Yeah we do, wait, let me show you. " and showed me
a DVD writter with 2007 warranty sticker.

Me, " How much is this ? "

The guy, " RM 380 .00 "

Me, " What ? RM 380 ? This is normal price or Lulu price ? "

The guy, " Normal price, very cheap already. "

Me, " How about the warranty period ?"

The guy, " 3 months loh !"

Me, " Thanks, but i am not buying this , bye !"

The guy wtf ??

20 minutes later, I got one good DVD writter at Computer War
SS2 installed by a technician called Ah Hawk ( -_-" )

and the cost ? RM 280 with everything included.....

So ? To the guy at Digital Mall.

You Really Think I Am Lulu ah ??

* Run away really fast !!!

The One About Visa To Myanmar

My colleague :" Eh Kai Hong, do I need a visa if I am going to
Myanmar ? "

Me:" Yes you do need one."

Colleague:" How to and where to get ? "

Me:" www.visa.com loh "

I ran away really fast before she could shout at me
" Sei Fei Chai !! Jangan lari !!! "

*Err someone pointed out, that it should be

https://www.go-myanmar-visa.com baru betul !!!

* run away fast fast !!!

The One About My Some Nice Toy

Last night was driving from NKVE towards Subang and the
good old F-117 was coughing a little bit on the road.

I looked at the instrument penal and the fuel lever was low
and ( indicator was on for 1 whole day already ) and I had
no choice but to turned in to Subang Jaya Shell petrol station
and made a refuel.

My sister asked, " Eh ! Need a Ferrari or not ?"

Me, " Hmm.. ok let's go and see. What is the entitlement?"

My sister, " RM 40 for 1 car (toy). "

Me," Eh why don't you buy yourself normally ?"

My sister, " My fuel tank 1 full tank RM35.00 only ! "

Me lolrotf !!!

My sister," This is darn unfair to Kancil user ok ? "

Me, " Don't worry, very soon the petrol price would go
up and you would get your wish fullfilled ! "

Anyway, later that night, I saw this nice Ferrari in my
house, got sound one somemore -_-"

Darn, that is the only way I could own a Ferrari anyway!

The One About Spicy Chicken Wrap

Just now was doing order for some local fast food, and saw
the new item called Spicy Chicken Wrap.

Hence I pon asked my girl to order one for me.

Another girl came, " Eh Mr Wong, what is this Spicy Chicken
Wrap zhek ? hmmm ? What does it taste like ? "

Me, " I am not sure, never tried before woh. "

Girl, " Mr Wong, how is it made ? Made by what ? What roti
is that wrapping the chicken ? Hot ah ? Spicy ah ? "

Me -_-" " Itu roti ialah roti telor bawang, bungkus itu ayam
tandoori yang pedas ... "

Girl, " knnbbq kai hong !! "

The One About Katak Bawah Tempurung II

The result of the polling for this round is being coming out in TV.

The TV reporter and news reader all scratch their heads, looked
blurred and kept on asking, " Strange, what is going on etc ! "

I have one word for them,

" Go do your farking homework first in future !! "
period

The One About A Dedication to my G Shock

First seen this watch ( model ) back in 1996 when I was in TAR college's
nearby Alpha Angle shopping mall. I spent RM 136 or so
(my part time income ) and bought one with my good friend Tse Chin.

From that day onward, wherever we go, we were wearing this watch.

Lectures, tutorial, sleeping, ponteng class, take mini bus No. 49,
swimming, blood donation, walking in night to Sri Rampai etc.

We had this watch on our wrist and we had 200% confidence with it.

It has shock protection feature and electro luminescent backlight.

It is tough and it is really reliable, one thing is that sometimes friend
of mine would see me, look at my wrist , look at my face, look at my
wrist again and look at my face again.

They would ask, " Why you wear kid's watch to work ? "

Me, " Eh you orang utan ah ? This is G Shock , babeh ! "

Them, " But it is still digital watch eh ? "

Me," You ever watch Speed ? Keanu Reeves ? Anyone?"

Them, " hmmmm.... nope... ! "

Me, " Fine never mind ! "

Them, " But you as an manager, cannot wear digital watch to
work nah ! "

Me, " Why ? "

Them, " Image, Look, Appearance, Maturity, Status, Confidence,
Taste, etc ! "

Me, " What the hell ?"

Them, " The most important, digital watch is for kids ! 细 路 哥 "

Me bang head against my table and decided not to talk to them
anymore.

Yes, maybe one day I would wear a proper Chronograph watch to
work or event.

But deep in my heart, my G Shock is still the best.

In fact it is the best of the best of the best !!! Period !

* Jogging away wearing my G Shock ... hmmmpppffff !!!

The One About G Shock getting annual leaves soon.

My royal precious super hardworking good quality G Shock might be able
to get her long due deserved annual leave soon.

She might get transferred to night shift or sports ( swimming ) department
as the new guy has arrived and landed. Kih kih kih kih !!!

The One About For King and Country !!

How come the Kelantan and middle flags can't dance like the Malaysian
flag at the right eh ?

Taken this shot at Kuala Krai land office between Taman Kuala Krai and
Guchil area....

The One About Kuala Krai Evening

The evening of Kuala Krai always look like this during Chinese New
Year. And the weather in Kuala Krai ( perhaps the rest of Kelantan )
would be very cold in the morning and heavy fog.

And extremely hot in the afternoon till night.

But this year 2008 the weather has becoming cold since evening
and the night is so breezy that I wished to sleep outside of the
house looking at the stars.

The weather has really changed recently.

Would there be a day when it would snow in Malaysia ??

That would be good cause one word, one word !!!

HIBERNATION !!!