The One About Operation Desert No Storm !!!

Was using C-130 most of the time recently and on and off I do use the General's
new YF 35 as it is smaller and could move in and out from Operation easier.

The other day was about to take off and checked checked Instrument Panel....

Outside temperature was 40 Degree Celsius leh !!  -_-"

The One about C-130 is huge !!!!

Hercules C-130 has been serving me and family for almost 2 years. Been thru
many mission and done a lot of hours with this Hercules.... primary was for
passenger transportation operation and rarely was there an action operation.

Went back to Kelantan a few weeks ago, can you imagine that we managed to
put all these 15 items + 4 adults and 1 baby into my Hercules C-130 ? On the
way back the co Pilot reported that " smell of fuel leak " detected in the air -_-"

It was already 4 hours from Kota Bharu and it was too far to turn back for
emergency landing, and PJ Hanger was like 2 to 3 hours away. I checked
checked the fuel level was ok, engine temperature was also ok. Was about
to look for a place to stop and do a 100% check.





My mom:" No worries !! Don't panic, the cause of the smell came from the 
frozen Durians, long flight like this, sure got some gas movement eh ? "



Co-Pilot -_-"

Darn ! I love my C-130 and my mom very much !!

The One About Really Old Town

The older part of Johor Bharu town.
This is so like the place where i spent my childhood years : )

The One About Budget Airlines

Was flying back to Kota Bharu last week with my team member on official
matters. Took a budget airliner from Subang airport to Kota Bharu and it
was the ATR 72-500 Kipas Aircraft, i told my team member.

While boarding the plane, my team member Mr. Lee started to ask question...

Lee, " Oi Oi !! Did you see the size of the tyres of this plane ? It is smaller than
my car tayar lah dude !! "

Me, " Shaddap lah ! You driving bulldozer meh ? "

Lee, " But the tyres size really si peh small leh !! "

Me -_-"

While taking off,  Mr. Lee, " What happened if the kipas tercabut ? "

Me, " Well ! This type of aircraft could glide for a longer distance compared
to jet aircraft...jet aircraft drops faster while propeller aircraft could glide 
really far, hence we are quite safe ! no worries...  "

Mr Lee, " Did you know, if we were killed in air crash, we will each get USD2
million insurance coverage ? our family terus become rich folks.. heheheh... "

Me, " Can we please talk about something else ? "

Mr Lee, " Wah ! The air stewardess very beautiful , very young !! "

Me, " Now we are talking.... where ? where ??  "

Sometimes it is fun to travel with folks that ask a lot of question or has high level
of curiosity...

The One About 智慧牙

话说到 有一天,  有个吉隆坡的有钱佬去了外国鬼混.

骗老婆说外国去公干三个月.

结果三个月很快过去了要回吉隆坡了.

外国女朋友伊娃鬼叫, 万般舍不得.

有钱佬看了好心疼, 但非回国不可.....

女朋友说:" 你人走了那我怎么办??" 又伊娃鬼叫....

有钱佬说 : "那我给你20万美金, 作纪念好吗? Sayang? "

女朋友破涕而笑 , 赶紧说: " 谢谢...sayang...老板 !!"

女朋友还是依依不舍, 又想要一些纪念品.

便叫有钱佬留下智慧牙, 以便纪念纪念.

有钱佬面有难色, 女朋友又伊娃大哭了 -_-"....

" 好啦 !!!好啦!!! " 便大力把智慧牙拔下.

哇妈 !!! 这回可痛死有钱佬了.

女朋友得了智慧牙便很开心.

跑回去房间要把智慧牙放好.

有钱佬跟着回房 看到女朋友打开抽屉

一看抽屉里面 竟然有 200 多颗别人的智慧牙 -_-"

祝天下有钱佬鬼混快乐!!!! he he he he....

The One About Really Long Vacation

Looked back at the last post which was done on 4th June 2011.
and it is already 27th Nov 2011, almost didn't update this blog
for 6 months already.

Took a really long vacation from blogging and was busy with many
many other things like working ( really hard ) and spent time learning
doing more house chores.

Well, i am back for the time being and while i am around, let's start to
tell some funny story , again....

炒冷饭ok？

The One about The Need For Speed !!!

Wanted to download some updates for the Ipad, connected my Maxis Broadband
and started download.

Darn syiok to see download speed @ 750KB/sec.... haaahhh.... good ah !!

Happy Holiday !!!

The One About Another Gas Leak

Just now Fat Lady was running here and there in the room, sniff sniff and
running around and sniff sniff again.

Me -_-"

Fat Lady, " Eh ! Did you smell that ? The cooking gas smell ? "

Me, " Err.. got meh ? "

Fat Lady sniff sniff again, " Yeah, got woh ! Cooking gas leaking ??"

Me, " Err actually just now my book fall on the floor ... "

Fat Lady, " Your book fall on the floor ? Book got gas smell one ?"

Me, " No, cause the book fall on the floor, i had bend down and pick
it up, and during the process some gas accidently ter- releasese !!! "

Fat Lady -________________-" U**#&%Y&@&%#*$#(&@#&#$

Me, " Old already, bend a bit then can't control the back.. sorry !"

Fa Lady, " Choi  Choi ! I still go and sniff here sniff there somemore!"

Me, " Soli Chapati !! Accident lok..."

The One About It Is Monday Today Lah !!!

Was having an early conference call with some regional folks a moment ago.
At the end of the call i tried to be polite and said :" Guys ! Thanks for your
time and have a great weekend ! "

They:" ........... "

I then put down the phone happily cause i read a book and the book asked
us to be polite and nice to co-workers. And I just did that !! Clever ya ??


And 2 seconds later, " Fuyolamak !! Today is Monday lah ! And i just wished
the whole region guys Have A Good Weekend ? "

This year, i think there is salary increament already .... loh !!!

Yeah, have a nice weekend lah !!

The One About 蔡琴演唱会 Part II

我问： "外婆，您觉得蔡琴 和蔡依林的演唱会有
什么不同的地方 ?? "

外婆："音乐不同 "

我 :" 错  !!!"

外婆有点不甘愿：" 那你说 !!　两者有什么不同??"

我:"　蔡依林的演唱会一眼望过去有 5,000 支荧光棒和五个老歌迷!!

but 蔡琴的演唱会一眼望过去 共有 5 支荧光棒和五万个老歌迷!!!"


笑到外婆差点从椅子上跌下来 ... ...:
:" 问我 那你干嘛又去听蔡琴的演唱会 lek ?? "

我 :" Well... you know...有口味的人都会听蔡琴演唱会的 !!"

这次是外婆, 笑到假牙从口里掉出来 !!!!

The One About 蔡琴演唱会

刚才陪老妈子, 去了云顶听蔡琴演唱会
棒极了（笑我老吧） never mind !!

过后我打算自己驾车下山，老妈和外婆等人
听完演唱会, 还要打老虎,  ((本人不杀生))

老妈: " 小心驾车 !!"

我: " Affirmative !! 是的 !!"

老妈: " 晚上驾车, 慢点!! "

我:" Rodger that, 是的 !!"

老妈: " 如果雾大 ....那跟前面车的车灯 !! "

我: "  酱如果我前面的车翻车下山.... 
我马不是跟它下埋山 lohhhh？"

老妈 -______________-"

:" 看老娘的正宗佛山无影脚 卡擦!!!!"


结果是我飞下山......chikipabowww !!!  

The One About The Smart Guy

Was with Marko my friend yesterday and he was cooking Spaghetti for me and his
girl friend. It was really nice and taste like the Pro.

So i decided to say something nice to thank him.

Me, " Hei Marko, you really can cook nice and tastely Spaghetti ya ? "

Marko, " Thank you,  you got taste , man .. "

Me -_-" I compliment him, he also able to double compliment himself....

-_________-"

*******

Before the lunch we went swimming at 1 pm in an open swimming pool. And Marko
looked like the Lobster after that when having Spaghetti.....

Marko, " You don't get sun burnt meh ? Adoiii !! So painful now ! "

Me, " errr... no, i don't feel anything woh.. " and was so proud !

Marko, " You know maybe your skin very thick, so no feeling, my skin very
thin, so fast alrready painful .... "

Me, " Yeah right !! " and went home happily.

This morning, me, " Oh ! Darn Marko, i also get sun burnt lah !! "

Marko, " Oh great, not only me, you also get ya ? Baru fair like this, and now i
cannot wear my shirt, very painful !!  Have to work naked, and make the gf
very horny !! "

Me lmaozhedong !!!

The One About Ah Chuah

刚才老蔡喝茶时跟我们说他的的太太怀孕了，六个月，
什么都想吃，什么都想喝....

前几天, 老蔡的太太突然跟老蔡说:
" Dear 老公 .... 我想吃龙珠饼.... 可以吗?? "

老蔡是出名疼老婆的,  便二话不说, 开车四个小时 terus
到槟城去买了三盒最出名的龙珠饼, 然后 terus
再开车回来吉隆坡.

累到半死, 把饼交给老婆时.

老婆: " 你做莫去槟城买哦 ???? 我那天看到 SS2也是有卖，
人家是想吃SS2 的那间啦... yorrr !! "

老蔡 -________________-" 然后 .....

笑死我们...

羡慕死同座的未婚女孩.....

气死老蔡....

The One About Pepper Spray !!

Yesterday in lunch was talking to some close co worker and was talking
about people getting rob nowadays.

David: " Yew ! What is it so scared ? We use pepper spray lah !! "

Me : " Huh ? Pepper spray ? "

David: " Yeap ! Like some country police force use this, can temporary
blind the bad guys while it will not kill him ! "

Me think think & laughed : " ha ha ha ha ha ha !!! "

David abit dulan: " Mr Wong why you laught at me ? "

Me : " No lah ... no lah.... "

David lagi beh song : " Mr Wong , tell me !! tell me !!!! "

Me :"  I was thinking that .... when you aim the pepper spray
at the bad guys... you press and .... hahahahh .... !!! "

David epic beh song :" And then what ???? "

Me:" ......the wind changes direction and the pepper spray goes
into your own eyes... and i imagine you squat down rubbing your eyes
and shouting " ADOOOOOOIIII !"
hence i mar laughed... lorrrr "


David lmaozhedong !! " Wahahahahhaah stupid Kai Hong !!! "


Me : " Pepper spray doesn't spray out pepper ( for cooking ) , it
actually is a mix of gas with chemical stuff which really upset
one's eyes and throat and everything...

Do Not Use Pepper Spray to add flavour to your food too !!"

David; " You stupid Chicken Mr Wong !!!! We also watch
Discovery Channel one also ya !  "


Me, " Err... black pepper chicken ?  hahahahahah !! "

阿弟的故事

前几天, 阿弟垂头丧气在家看电视.

我问:"  喂 !! 弟 !! 发生什么事?? "

阿弟回答 :"  今天真气死人 !!! 我帮了人家, 还被人家打了两巴掌!!"

我问:"  哇搞什么鬼 ???  跟我说 !!!! 我帮你报仇 !!! "

阿弟:"  今天, 我搭巴士下 KL 买电脑,  然后在巴士上看到一个肥妹,
在巴士里玩 Ipad, 结果我就被 kam 了两巴掌 !!"

我问: " 那.....你做了什么帮人的事 ?? "

阿弟: " 因为那肥妹没位子坐, 站着,  我要让她位子, 又不敢, 怕她
误会我觉得她怀孕,  那就惨了 loh !!!! "

我 : " 对 !对!! 对!!! "

阿弟: " 那肥妹站着时,  她的短裙被她的屁股夹着,  看来很怪不舒服的.. "

我 -__-"

阿弟: "  结果..... 我就帮她把裙拉出来 lah !! 没那么不舒服嘛.... !!"
 mana tahu  她反过身来赏我一巴掌啦 !! shit ! "

我 -_- " :" 你又说你给人两巴掌 ??? "

阿弟: " 对呀 !!! 她打了我一巴掌..... 我便很害怕啦 ....急忙把她的裙塞
回去原来的样子啦 !!!!  结果便中多一巴掌啦 !!! "

我 Chikipabooooowwwww !!!!



 

The One About Oh Pakcik !! Pakcik !!

Was driving the good old Hercules C-130 near Ampang area yesterday and
was cruising smoothly and the temperature was hot and warm. A bit of heavy
traffic and the side wind was mild.

And a moment later there was this Pakcik behind me flashed flashed me with
his high beam -_-"

I looked via mirror, " wow ! Pakcik with whole family in his car... "

Me, " Er... perhaps I cruised too slow.. " increase air speed a bit. Didn't want
to block people with big old fat C-130...

10 second later Pakcik got closer to me and gave me 2 more time of
high beam.

Me -___-" and changed lane from Fast Lane to Middle Lane.


Pakcik also changed lane to Middle Lane and flash flash again
-______-" I was thinking, was this Pakcik going to make me stop,
rob me, punch me at kkc ( very painful ) and take my naked photos
and put in facebook ? I don't know Karate one... cham liao this time!


I almost started to get a little bit annoyed and excited and did the evasive
maneuvering to shake him off.

And I saw my instrument panel " lights on "  Oh !!! OK !!! and I smile :)

Was in basement car park before that and must have forgotten to switch off
the landing lights .... hehehehehe.... and the nice Pakcik was trying to remind
me to turn of the lights cause it was like 12 pm in the noon ..... and Pakcik
was a consistent person too...

Terima Kasih Pakcik ! Semoga Pakcik dan Sekeluarga Sihat Selalu.
Anak , cucu , cicit dan saudara mara semua pun Sihat ya :)


There is a saying in my country, if within 5 minutes, 4 girls grin at you,
don't be so proud and get the wrong idea and think you are hot....

Check your darn zipper.....

The One About Seremban -________________-"

Was driving along Seremban and it showed the external temperature " 44 celcius "


-_______________-"



zomg.......

The One About You Think You Can Park Like Me Meh ??

There was this guy in my office who think that he could park his car like i did
(leaving 3 mm of space) only for the ants to move.

The result ? Super Epic Hamplang Long Zhong Sama Kaliao Fail of 2011 !!

Some paint transfer is unavoidable in this scenario !!

The One About Non C130 Hercules

The other day was going out for dinner with Ah Cat and Ah Lian. I was driving
Ah Cat's car and left my C-130 Hercules at home.

While waiting for the traffic lights we were chatting and discussing about the
features and functions in the cabin.

Me, " Your steering could be adjusted to a higher position so that you can see
the instrument panel more clearly.. " and adjust adjust the steering height.

Ah Cat, " Oi Oi ! don't disturb my settings !! "

And suddenly the engine stalled and went dead... and the traffic light turned
green ... -_-" geeee... great timing !!!

Ah Cat, " ZOMG KNNBBQ ! This is so embarrassing !!!"

Me, " No worries !" and put on the hazard / emergency signal lights...

Ah Cat , " Oh no !! My reputation !! " covered covered face .....

Me, " This is Damansara, people recognize my C-130 hercules and will not 

know that I am stuck in this Twin Otter with stalled engine, hence i don't have

to cover my face and i will be brave ... restart darn it !! restart !!!! ... "

Engine didn't response like the Twin Otter without battery and fuel like that...

Ah Cat, " Fast fast start engine lah ! OIYOH !! "

Me corrected the steering back to it's original height and turned the ignitions,
VOILA !! The engine started, shift D and hit gasssssss !!!

Ah Cat still covered her face, " Anyone looking at me ?"

Me, " No ! We are long gone already... "

Ah Cat, " hahahahhah... stupid lah you ! "

Me, " Not me, your car !! Where got car which goes stalled when we adjust
the steering wheel height one ? "

Ah Cat, " Where got people go and adjust steering wheel height when driving
one ? "

Me, " Got ! When the steering is blocking the tummy from breathing ! "

Ah Cat, " Now shaddap and bring me to dinner... "

Me, " Affirmative ..... "

Ah Cat, " I am SOOOOO going to tell this to Fat Lady... "

Me, " Tell loh... tell loh... "

The One About The Ipad

Was able to loan the Ipad from Ah Cat a few days ago and was testing
it for the features ( err.. ) past few days.

Fat Lady, " Darn this Ipad is sure pretty and precise small thing ya ! "

Me, " Yeah, neat toy !! "

Fat Lady, " Ok later we watch DVD using this ya ! "

Me, " Nope we can't !! "

Fat Lady, " Huh ? Why ? I want to watch some new movie woh ! "

Me, " Cannot ! cause it doesn't have DVD drive ! "

Fat Lady, " Harrrr ?? Then how to watch DVD ? "

Me pointed at the DVD Player under 3 inches of dust ,
" that one and a thing called TV ... "

Fat Lady, " Darn ! Everything must via I-tunes ya ? "

Me , " You very panlai also lah !! No SD Card, No USB Port, apa
boleh buat ??  "

Fat Lady, " Can let mama to chop vegetable and some cut meat also ya!
so thin, can also use as tray to serve cold drinks to our guest !!  "

Ah Cat , " Oi Oi Oi !! YOU ALL !! Nak kena ah ?? "

Me, " Can stick at my toilet wall, can play game while poo poo !! "

Ah Cat, " Oi Oi Oi !! YOU ALL BASKET !! Gimme back my Ipad !! "

LMAO !!

The One About Eh Wopppss !!!

A few days ago, was doing some online things while Ah Cat was
preparing for a flight to Europe. She was packing packing and
wanted to know the weather of destination....

Ah Cat, " Can you please check for me what is the temp of Rome?"

Me, " Rome as of Romania ? "

Ah Cat 2 legs in the sky.... " Rome of Italy lah ! What was your
Geography grade ? Epic Fail ? or Master Super Fail ??  "

Me, " Soli Soli... they all sounded the same and, far far away...by the
way it should be called Roma ( Rom Mahhh )"

A moment later, " Oh got that, it's about 33 degree, ... hence no need to
bring so much of cloths, weather almost like Kuala Lumpur.."

Ah Cat -_______-""
" Wait a second.... should be quite cold now as I remembered, are
you sure ? let me see , let me see.... "

Me, " Nah..... see ? 32 ... 33 degree like that !! I am always right! you
can bring bikini and sexy pants there wahoo !! wahoo !!!"

Ah Cat, " What lah you ! 32- 33 degree Fahrenheit ok ? 
It's like 0 degree celcius lah ! It is darn cold ! somemore ask me
to wear Bikini there ah ?? " slapped my head with the Ipad...

Me, " Aduiii !!! Eh ! Woppsss !! This darn Ipad no good one, 
why shows tempeture in Fahrenheit one ? "

Ah Cat, " Hak elleh ! Don't blame the Ipad !! Stupid user problem ok ? "

Me, " hehehehehe... soli ... soli... "

The One About Kopiiiiiiiii !!!!

Was having coffee with my parents this morning after breakfast and we
ordered :

1. Kopi.

2. Kopi Ais x 2.

3. Kopi bungkus.

Drink drink drink and upon settling the bill , the lady :" Thank you, total
would be RM6.20. "

Me, " Huh ? Does that include my take away coffee ? "

Lady, " Yeap, correct, all in the bill. "

Me, " Here you go RM6.20 "

Yeah, you could still have RM6.20 for 4 cups of coffee in Klang Valley
and the coffee was really really nice. Not necessary to go for RM13 or
RM10 per cup of Latte or Expresso or Capucino all the time one !!


My parents, " Darn these coffee are nice and cheap ya ! "


Me, " Absolutely, and you don't see much of Ah Bengs and Ah Lians 

here. Neither does people order 1 cup of coffee and sit here for 4 hours

tapping the Wifi, laughing at the screen with no interaction with the people
at the next tables.... darn zombies !!!  "

My parents, " Nice !! People drink up, eat , pay and go. "

Me, " abuthen ? I always bring you all to nice place only ya !! "

Parents, " Corretlah !! Panlailah !! "

The One about Pushing Hercules 130 !!

From last Saturday onwards, all the passengers boarding my C-130
Hercules would look at the fuel gauge and ask, " Captain, enough of
fuel for take off and landing ? The Tanjung Tokong incident? No No! "

And i have to reply, " Sir ! yes sir ! full tank sir !!!! " and all of these
passengers would reply,
" Ok ! Cleared for take off ... "

Cause last Friday i was escorting some officers from KL to Penang
and the C-130 did 664 km on single tank of fuel. By the time we
arrived at Penang, we were rushing to attend another dinner and I
scheduled to refuel after the dinner which was held at Gurney
Roundabout area.

Managed to find a darn good spot at the roundabout and parked
the C-130 nicely. Knowing that the fuel of C-130 was really really
low i made some announcement to the crew and passengers after
the dinner.

Me, " This is your captain speaking, we are low on fuel and please be
prepared for emergency landing anytime. "

Passengers, " WTF ?? No fuel ah ? "

Me, " Still got, maybe 200 ml or 150 ml loh... " and we were at the
Gurney roundabout that time heading towards Tanjung Tokong area.

Me, " I am trying to reach the nearest refuel station ok ? You all hang
on there, no big movement, don't breath ! don't even fart !! "

The Passengers cursed and prayed, some even used the I-phone to
write their will. -_-"

After the traffic light near the roundabout we headed towards Tanjung
Tokong and the cabin was absolutely quiet.... -_-" tension...

A moment later, I saw the Caltex petrol station and said, " Oh ! We
have Caltex in sight !! " About 500 m away from Caltex.

Passengers, " Hurray !! Hurray !! We are safe !! "

Me, " But I use Esso and Mobil fuel only, got points woh ! "
About  300 m away from Caltex.

Passengers, " You want us to chop your KKC and throw from Penang
Bridge and feed the Jelly Fish izzit ? "

Me, " Just joking, just joking, I love Caltex !! I love Caltex !!  Passengers
and crew please be prepared for landing. "
100 m away from Caltex.

Engine, " Puttt.... puttttttt..... putttttttt...fffffffffff "
50 m  away from Caltex... -_-"

Me, " Don't worry, there are still a few ml of fuel in the engine and pipes,
let's all shake our bodies ... shaka !! shakaaaa !! "

The C-130 continued to glide and move but the speed was from 50kmh
to 30 ..25... 20....5.... and to a motionless stop

Passengers, " NOOOOOOOOOO !!! gawd damnit NOOO !!! "

The C-130 stopped at 10 m away from entrance of Caltex -_-" and
blocking some Ah Beng's car at the back. Some darn Ah beng sounded
their horn and thought WTF were we blocking the road -_-"

Me, " This is your captain speaking, ladies and gentleman , welcome to

Caltex , Jalan Tanjung Tokong, please get out of the air craft , mind the

cars from behind you and gently push this air craft toward Caltex 

until the air craft reached the Petrol Pump number 11, for your safety, 

please do not use your mobile phone while pushing the C-130 and 

smoking is prohibited because we are near to petrol station. We thank you
for flying Air C-130 and hope you had a nice journey !!! Thanks !. "

Passenger, " @($U%YY!#Y$Y@U@U!@Y$Y##$UI!Y#Y$"


Me, " We thank you for flying with C-130 airlines and push... push...

push... push... we are almost there !! another 5 meter !! comon

guys and gilrs, we just had dinner ! comon push !! push !! "


Passenger, " Captain, please remind me to kill you tomorrow or
next weekend ya. "


Me, " Push... !! Push !! We are almost there... "


Passenger A, " This is damn humiliating ok ? Such a large and expensive
aircraft and how could No Fuel happened ?"

Passenger B, " MCH ! Even the petrol station boss shake his head in

disbelief when he see us pushing your C-130, he said this has never

happened before and this is big case !! "

Indeed, the boss of petrol station couldn't believe his eyes, so were
several of the people who were at the Caltex Station that night.

That is why, now, whenever people board my C-130 Hercules, they
would naturally look at the fuel level first .... -_-"

Sorry loh !! Guys !!

Bad C-130 !! Next time must behave yourself ok ?

The One About Kam Cheng !!!

新年就要到了, 路旁很多小贩开始卖芦柑,肉干之类的.

昨天去了一档在安邦的, 把车一停, 就很有型的问
:" Err... 老板 !!!  这些橙, 怎么卖??? "

老板傻了一下, 咋傻, 听不到还回答 :" 欢迎光临 !!
要买很好吃的芦柑吗？"

我 -_-" :" 喔 !!! 对 !!! 这芦柑怎么卖 ???"

老板:"  来来来 !!!! 芦柑 算你便宜 , 一盒 二十块罢了 !!!"

我买了三盒, 便逃之夭夭....... -_-"

回到家,  跟老妈老爸说, : "  我分不清 柑和橙 lah !!! "

笑得他们从椅子上掉下来.

-_-" 万事如意  !!!!!

The One About Mountain and God

前几天, 在和肥婆还有肥婆姐姐到了台湾走来走去
路经一座大山, 大山边有座很大的什么好像佛祖,
妈祖还是观音像的.


我还没看清, 便问 :" 这是什么像? 佛祖? 妈祖?
还是观音像? 改天要去拜拜吗?"


肥婆姐姐:" 哦 !!! 我知道这是什么像来的!!"


我问:" 你知道吗 ?? 酱厉害???"


肥婆姐姐:" 啊不然??"


我:" 那请告诉我答案... "


肥婆姐姐:" 各位观众 !! 这就是有名的愚公像!!"


我:" 谁哈??"


肥婆姐姐:" 愚公移山的愚公啦 !!"


肥婆:" 愚公你的头啦 !!! 明明是太上老君像啦!!!"


肥婆姐姐:" 是咩 ?? 对不起天气太冷我看不清楚!!"

妈的这导游,  100% 完全不行啦  !!!!

炒掉她!!!!!

The One About 燒島蛋

前几天, 在台北西门町,走呀走。

肥婆的姐姐问:" 咦  ?? 有人卖燒島蛋 ??!!?? "

我们:" wtf bbq ?? 什么导弹岛蛋的？"

一看原来是燒鳥蛋 lah !! Oiyoh !!!

島和鳥看來很像么？

肥婆的姐姐:" 啊!!! 因为天气太冷了 我看不清!!"

过后又说要吃什么:" 无肉鸡排!!"

肥婆:" 无骨鸡排啦 !!!! 笨蛋!!"

肥婆的姐姐:" 啊!!! 因为天气太冷了, 我看不清 mah !!"

现在的人什么都可以赖.

The One about Coffee and Winter

Fat Lady, " Hmmmm.... darn nice to drink good latte in warm Starbucks !!"

Me, " So darn hot lah in this coffee house ! "

Fat Lady, " It is freaking cold outside, if you like the winter so much, go get a
GF or wife in Taipei lah ! "

Me, " WAH WAH WAH !! Can ah ? Really can ah ?? "

30 mins later, I woke up in the General Hospital of Dan Shui with a boo boo on
my head.

The One About Winter and Grey

Is winter always grey and cold ?
so grey until the photo also come out senget ??

Fat Lady, " Ok lah ! My fault lah ! Too cold, until cannot capture proper photos!"

Me," This is like summer in Alaska only.... "

Fat Lady, " Shaddap already, i heard this Alaska 200 times already...if you like
Alaska or Taipei winter so much, find a GF or wife there lah !!!"

Me, " WAH WAH WAH !!! Can ah ? Can ah ??? "

2 hours later, I woke up in Taipei General Hospital, don't know why....

The One About Taipei Night Market

There are a lot of famous night market in Taipei and Taiwan.
We went to several of these night market and had fun and
dinner and shopping there.

Question is : How do you know that when you are near to one of these?


Answer: When Fat Lad and her sister start asking me, " Oi ! you fart ah ?"


Me:" No ! Not me, it was the Chow Tau  Fu lah !! Oiyoh !!! "


Them: "Oh ! Ya hor, sorry sorry !! "


You wouldn't miss one !!!

The One about Taipei

Was in Taipei a few days ago, it was around 12° Celsius and the coolest
was 9° Celsius with rain ( drizzling ). Wind was strong also.

I was wearing Short Sleeve T-Shirt and my cargo pants only while the
rest of the Taipei citizen wrapped themselves like Bak Zhang like that.

The aunties there, " WTF ? You not cold meh  ?? "

Me, " 9° Celsius with rain is summer in Alaska only !! "

They all, " Waliew !!! "

By the way, is there any way for us to change Malaysia climate
to 9° Celsius all year around ? Is there a huge remote control
that we can use and do that ?

Darn !!! 9° Celsius with rain is TEH FUN !!!!!!