Sunday, January 23, 2011

The One about Pushing Hercules 130 !!

From last Saturday onwards, all the passengers boarding my C-130
Hercules would look at the fuel gauge and ask, " Captain, enough of
fuel for take off and landing ? The Tanjung Tokong incident? No No! "

And i have to reply, " Sir ! yes sir ! full tank sir !!!! " and all of these
passengers would reply,
" Ok ! Cleared for take off ... "

Cause last Friday i was escorting some officers from KL to Penang
and the C-130 did 664 km on single tank of fuel. By the time we
arrived at Penang, we were rushing to attend another dinner and I
scheduled to refuel after the dinner which was held at Gurney
Roundabout area.

Managed to find a darn good spot at the roundabout and parked
the C-130 nicely. Knowing that the fuel of C-130 was really really
low i made some announcement to the crew and passengers after
the dinner.

Me, " This is your captain speaking, we are low on fuel and please be
prepared for emergency landing anytime. "

Passengers, " WTF ?? No fuel ah ? "

Me, " Still got, maybe 200 ml or 150 ml loh... " and we were at the
Gurney roundabout that time heading towards Tanjung Tokong area.

Me, " I am trying to reach the nearest refuel station ok ? You all hang
on there, no big movement, don't breath ! don't even fart !! "

The Passengers cursed and prayed, some even used the I-phone to
write their will. -_-"

After the traffic light near the roundabout we headed towards Tanjung
Tokong and the cabin was absolutely quiet.... -_-" tension...

A moment later, I saw the Caltex petrol station and said, " Oh ! We
have Caltex in sight !! " About 500 m away from Caltex.

Passengers, " Hurray !! Hurray !! We are safe !! "

Me, " But I use Esso and Mobil fuel only, got points woh ! "
About  300 m away from Caltex.

Passengers, " You want us to chop your KKC and throw from Penang
Bridge and feed the Jelly Fish izzit ? "

Me, " Just joking, just joking, I love Caltex !! I love Caltex !!  Passengers
and crew please be prepared for landing. "
100 m away from Caltex.

Engine, " Puttt.... puttttttt..... putttttttt...fffffffffff "
50 m  away from Caltex... -_-"

Me, " Don't worry, there are still a few ml of fuel in the engine and pipes,
let's all shake our bodies ... shaka !! shakaaaa !! "

The C-130 continued to glide and move but the speed was from 50kmh
to 30 ..25... 20....5.... and to a motionless stop

Passengers, " NOOOOOOOOOO !!! gawd damnit NOOO !!! "

The C-130 stopped at 10 m away from entrance of Caltex -_-" and
blocking some Ah Beng's car at the back. Some darn Ah beng sounded
their horn and thought WTF were we blocking the road -_-"

Me, " This is your captain speaking, ladies and gentleman , welcome to
Caltex , Jalan Tanjung Tokong, please get out of the air craft , mind the
cars from behind you and gently push this air craft toward Caltex 
until the air craft reached the Petrol Pump number 11, for your safety, 
please do not use your mobile phone while pushing the C-130 and 
smoking is prohibited because we are near to petrol station. We thank you
for flying Air C-130 and hope you had a nice journey !!! Thanks !. "

Passenger, " @($U%YY!#Y$Y@U@U!@Y$Y##$UI!Y#Y$"

Me, " We thank you for flying with C-130 airlines and push... push...
push... push... we are almost there !! another 5 meter !! comon
guys and gilrs, we just had dinner ! comon push !! push !! "

Passenger, " Captain, please remind me to kill you tomorrow or
next weekend ya. "

Me, " Push... !! Push !! We are almost there... "

Passenger A, " This is damn humiliating ok ? Such a large and expensive
aircraft and how could No Fuel happened ?"

Passenger B, " MCH ! Even the petrol station boss shake his head in
disbelief when he see us pushing your C-130, he said this has never
happened before and this is big case !! "

Indeed, the boss of petrol station couldn't believe his eyes, so were
several of the people who were at the Caltex Station that night.

That is why, now, whenever people board my C-130 Hercules, they
would naturally look at the fuel level first .... -_-"

Sorry loh !! Guys !!

Bad C-130 !! Next time must behave yourself ok ?


Jasonmumbles said...


Philips at work. said...

My team member said, " EPIC FAIL!"

Latha Vijayakumar said...

very funny.