The One About Salt and Pepper

Today during lunch I was with Fat Lady and we were sitting in
a restaurant which the famous singer who decided to go into roasted
chicken business.

Cause I have been having plenty of chicken since The Tour De Kelantan
and De Tour De Sungai Siput, hence I ordered some jacket potatoes
stuff.

When the plate of potato came, I ate a little bit and found out that the
taste was a bit out.

Hence I asked the waiter :" Hi ! Could I have some salt and pepper please?"

20 second later the waiter came back with a bowl of black pepper sauce
and placed the bowl on my table, and walked away really fast !!

Me :" Excu......... never mind... " cause the waiter was gone before I
could finish my excuse me things....

I looked at Fat Lady, her face was also clueless and confused....

Fat Lady, " Now what are we suppose to do with this bowl of thing. "

Me, " I don't know, put them onto my potato ? "

I tried to put a bit of the sauce on potato and tasted it. Yucccckkkk !!!

Me, " Negative ! Negative !! "

Fat Lady, " Then ? Should we drink it ? "

Me shouted, " Hell no !! "

Fat Lady, " Then ? Should we wash hands with it ? "

Me shouted, " Heaven no !!! "

And finally I asked the waiter for, " Sedikit garam dan sedikit lada
hitam " and this time the correct stuff came finally.

Aiseh !!! I must practise my English to become better or what ?

How come they can't understand my English eh ?

Perhaps I spoke like British kot ? Got meh ?? Got mehh ???

* run away....

The One About Chemur and Sungai Siput

Chemur is a small town in between Ipoh city and Sungai Siput and
it comprises some shops and some really pre war old shops. You
wouldn't miss is whenever you pass thru Chemur town.

Was in Chemur town attending dinner with relatives and Fat lady
was having some headache.

It was around 9 pm and I went out to Chemur main road to search
for 7-11 shops... -_-" didn't see any.

Suddenly I felt that my right shoulder became heavier and warmer.

And Shit !!!! Really shit !!!

The swallows from the power cable had just pooed on my shoulder !!!

But I thanked god cause it wasn't an ostrich up there pooing at me!

Aiseh !!! So accurate meh ? Anyway, had to continue to seach for
the medicine...

Searched for medicine shop.... -_-" didn't see any and probably
they went for resting already.

Went to a shop selling liqueur ( next to Shell petrol station of Chemur )
and asked if they sell any paracetamol..

Me:" Hi, do you sell any paracetamol ? "

Boss:" Sorry , we sell only liqueur .. "

Me:" Oh i see, it's ok then.... " and suddenly

Boss:" Wait wait !! " and ran to his drawer and teared out 2 pils of
paracetamol for me.

Boss:" This one personal use one, we are not selling tough... "

Me: " Har ? How much do I owe you ? "

Boss:" Aiyah ! No need to kira lah Aiyah !! "

Me:" One more thing, could I have a little bit of tissue paper please?
I kena the swallows poo just now -_-" "

Boss trying not to laugh ( face became reddish ) and passed me some
tissue paper and helped me to wipe away most of the poos on the
shoulder cause I can't reach the spot easily.

Me promptly thanked him very much and walked away feeling darn
warm again !!

Darn ! This boss is good !!

Squad ! Hats down for the Chemur people eh !!

And for the swallows of Chemur, you all wait and see !! Just wait
and see !

The One About Sungai Siput

Had a chance to visit Fat Lady's relative back in Sungai Siput
during Chinese New Near time.

A small town with a main straight road and a lot of friendly
people.

Surrounded by beautiful mountains and nice forest too !

Darn I could retire there one day eh ??

And everyday you could stay at the balcony and see the sun
goes down slowly.... and have a glass of cold Wine.....

Darn !! Going there again really soon...

The One About Fire Works 1

Darn I like this one !!

The One About Fire Works 2

This one is the 12 or 10 sticks in one pack, I remembered
it has a Cat brand one. After the the sparks, the whole stick
would become very very hot.

But the sparks were brilliant eh ?

The One About Fire Works 3

Yay ! Main Bunga Api !!

Darn it must been 15 years already since I see one of
these !!

The One About I Don't Know What To Say

Kids nowadays are very smart and has higher intelligence compared
to when I was younger.

When they see camera they know what kind of expression to show
and they would find 2000 ways to attract your shutter clicks !!

Last time when I was a kid, I didn't even know what is a camera
nor knew that we need to smile and look at the lense.

Hence a lot of photos with mouth open and saliva coming out
from mouth while looking at some fried chickens...

Anyway, back to Chinese New Year a few weeks ago we found out
that Fat Lady has this nephew who is darn good at doing faces !

Try this one ! When I saw the photo I laughed until I almost
pee in my pants !!

Where did he learn this darn expression from ? Japanese Carton?

The One About Great Wall Came Down !!

2 days ago there was this super heavy rain and the rain water
brought down the wall near my place when they have no where to
go.

I wasn't around my house that time and I thought some crazy
lorry driver or my drunken sister might have brought down the
wall via lorry or kancil instead.

Anyway, here it goes !!

The One About What Is EP ??

This morning while having breakfast, my staffs were busy
chatting about food and quality and everything....

bla.. bla.. bla.. bla...

Miss K : " The mamak shop mia EP Koey Tiao darn good !! "

We all -_-" and " What is EP ? Sister of APidah ? "

Miss K lolrotf !!

Miss K :" EP = Extra Pedas !!! "

We all " Ohhhhh !!! Weeeeeee seeeeee !!! "

EP Koey Tiao is so hot and spicy that after you eat, blood comes
out from your 7 holes !!

EP Koey Tiao is so hot and spicy that when you pee after eat
that, petrol came out instead of urine !!

EP Koey Tiao is so hot and spicy that when you fart later,
there would be a small nuclear explosion at your rear.

问你怕没？

The One About Commander !!

In 1994, i was the commander for the prefects marching team.

Today, I am again the commander in the place where I work, but
again it is for today only lolrotf !!

Darn it feels good to be in the position of commander.

Squad ! Ke kanannnnnn .... lurus !!!

( Prappppp.... prapppppp... prappppppppaapappapap.... )

Sounds like cow poo eh ? Gee let me write about my commanding
experience back in the 1994s one day yeah.

Squad ! Keluar baris !!!

The One About Parliament Dissolved

I am sure that by now you would have heard the old man said
that the Parliament is dissolved today yeah !!

Now, go and check your voting information such as which area
that you are being registered under and go and vote !!

Make your vote useful and channel your view right now !

Check the info here, don't travel all the way back to Kuala Krai
and only found out that oppsss you are suppose to vote in
Johor Bharu lolol !!

http://daftarj.spr.gov.my/daftarbi.asp or shortcut here !!

Happy Voting !!

Selamat Mengundi !

* lari

But there is a security and privacy concern here in this
web page, no ??

The One About Google Map and Kuala Krai

After many many months waiting for Google Earth to cover
my hometown Kuala Krai, finally it's here.

But the road names are not up yet : )

From this image ( Tenk kiu google ! ) you could see the train
station of kuala krai, most of taman kuala krai, Sultan Yahya
Petra Secondary School ( just below the compass ), Jalan Chin
Hwa, Jalan Ah Sang, The Market, Hospital, Tasik Krai etc.

My house is also in there !!! Waho ! Waho !!

The One About Coffee And Milo !

Last night we were traveling from Kota Bharu military base to Kuala
Lumpur military base as the Chinese New Year is getting over.

At about 7:45 pm we stopped at Petronas of Gua Musang for a few
cups of coffee, and we thanked the guy from Petronas who prepared
the coffee for everyone,

then suddenly my sister, " Excuse me, ada milo ah ? "

The petronas guy -_-" and replied, " Sorry nah, takda leh ! "

I stared at my sister and shake my head slowly. People already
put advertisement in nationwide TV and Radio to offer you free
coffee ( not bad, the taste despite a 3 in 1 type ) and you go and
ask people if they have Milo or not, hoi !!!

What lah ! Amat mempermalukan !!

The One About Patin !!!!

Was in Kuala Lipis yesterday and stopped for lunch.

Had this nice Patin fish ( 1/2 fish ) and it was darn good.

Of course there were better one that we have eat before
but for RM 36 for 1/2 fish, the price vs taste was ok.

Not bad !

The One About Q Jumper

Now, even smaller town like Kota Bharu has more and more Q jumper.

Is that becoming a trend, lifestyle and culture, i mean Q jumping.

Got to put some mini guns in car and grenades launcher to seek and
destroy these sons of bitches !!

The One About Grave Digger

Saw this one from Kommies some time ago. Darn Kommis
is down these few days, damn lonely !!


Adik:" Mak ! Mak ! Boleh adik tanya satu soalan?"

Emak yang sambil masak kari ikan dari dapur jawab.
" Ya ! Dik, apa dik punya soalan ?"

Adik:" Kenapa itu si penggali kubur gali kubur tak
pakai baju, mak ? "

Emak:" Hmm... sebab dia panas kot !! "

Adik:" Salah ! "

Emak:" Sebab dia nak show off tikus dia ! "

Adik: " Salah ! "

Emak:" Sebab dia tak mahu kotorkan baju dia!"

Adik:" Salah !"

Emak menjadi tidak tentu arah dan rasa malu kerana
tidak dapat jawap dengan betul.

Emak pon tanya, " Jadi, apakah jawapannya ? "

Adik, " Orang tu menggali kubur tak pakai baju,
tapi dia pakai canggkul ! Baru best ! "

Emak terus 2 kaki ke langit dan kari ikan berterbangan
di dapur !!

Salah !Salah !Salah !Salah !Salah !Salah !
Salah !Salah !Salah !Salah !Salah !Salah !

Balik kelantan makan kari ikan minggu ini,
bestnya !!

The One About Noisy or Not.

Tadi kawan aku mari tanya saya satu soalan yang agak
mudah.

Kawan: " Eh ! Wong ! Ada masa sikit ah ? "

Saya: " Hmm.. ok ! Apa masalah anda ? "

Kawan: " Itu Roti dan Kopi ya !! Mana satu lebih bising?"

Saya: " Har ? Gapo mu kecek ? " ( Har ! Apa anda cakap ?"

Kawan:" Fikir lah ! Mana satu lebih bising antara Roti
dan Kopi ! "

Saya ..... hmmmmm....

Hmmmmm... korek kepala dan korek hidung... korek rambut...

Lepas 5 minit, saya:" Eh ! Tak tahu lah ! Susah ni ! "

Kawan: " Jawapanya senang aja ! "

Saya: " Cakap ! Cakap !! Apa jawapanya ! "

Kawan: " Breadtalk(tm) dan Kopitiam(diam) !! "

Saya terus 2 kaki hala ke langit !!!

Kawan:" Eh ! Eh ! Eh!!!! " dan melarikan diri !!!

The One About Hand Phone On Strike !!

My Sony Ericsson went on strike since 4 days ago and
it is now being sent to nearest medical center for
medical attention.

Nowadays, the mobile phones are not as well built as
they used to be.

Once there was a lorry which lost it's brakes and
kept on reversing on a slippery slop area.

The driver was chasing from behind and shouted:
" help help ! The lorry has no brake ! "

I walked near the lorry and took out my mobile
phone and put the phone gently near the lorry's
wheel, and the lorry stopped immediately !!!

That was in 1988 of course !! Where the mobile
phone was as huge as a mountain.

And when I said I took out my mobile phone, I
took IT out from my lorry as well.

You know, to carry a mobile phone with a size
of mountain, you would need a lorry to do that.

Anyway, the point is that, the mobile phones
nowadays are damn lousy !!

Just a free fall on the floor and it goes on
strike and refuse to work already !!

Last time ( during my era ) when we drop our
mobile phone on the floor, the floor gets broken
and we had to get the construction guy to
patch the floor and fix the road.

And when we drop our mobile phone on the floor
in Kuala Lumpur, our neigbour from Singapore
could feel the tremors at 4.5 degree at least!

Yet the phone works fine after we blow the dust
away .... eh ??

That is what I call the Good Old Days !!

The One About Such A Good Idea

When I was in secondary school we were in a mandarin spoken mandarin
and we were trying really hard to catch up in English subject.

Our English teacher Theresa always pointed at my nose and shouted
" Kai Hong ! The only way you all could improve your English is by
speaking English ! "

Me, " Oh ok ! "

Theresa, " When people talk to you, if you don't understand you
should say I beg your pardon, not har ?? "

Me, " Har ?? "

Theresa went 2 legs in the sky......

By the way, we were always trying to use the phrases that we learned
in the class during that time, and sometimes we over used them.

There was a time when, " Such A Good Idea " was being widely mis used.

The whole school was .....

A:" Yo ! Lunch time, let's go for lunch ! "
B:" Such A Good Idea "

A:" We go to the beach by bicycle tomorrow yeah ?? "
B:" Such A Good Idea "

A:" We go to school tomorrow at 7:00 am ok ?? "
B:" Such A Good Idea "

A:" Kai Hong, can you please pass me your history book? "
B:" Such A Good Idea "

A:" Eh ! Why you eat my lunch, you want to die izzit ? "
B: " Such A Good Idea "

A:" Eik ! Why you kiss me ? You want me to kill you izzit ? "
B: " Such A Good Idea " ( This seldom happen, normally after
kiss, the killing process starts immediately without delay or question
asked. )

Teacher:" Eh ! Kai Hong, don't speak in the class, else I will send
you to see the head master ! "
Me: " Such A Good Idea "

Head master room:" Kai Hong ! Why you so talkative in class ? You
want me to call your parents izzit ? "
Me: " Such A Good Idea and oppssss "

There you go, once we were too hard working memorizing all these
phrases, sometimes it would did back fire !!!

Such A Good Idea yeah ??

* running away.

This one is for all the teachers who has taught us before !!

Thanks to you all !! We always love you all !

The One About Happy Chinese New Year 2008

Here wishing everyone a Happy Chinese New Year 2008.

May Everyone has a good year ahead and 心想事成 ！！