The One About Going Oversea Lor.

The image speaks for itself.

Going oversea ? Sure anytime !!

* lari !!

The One About Nu Ren and Nan Ren.

男女之愛** - **值得看了再看！*
*~~ **作者：劉墉**~~ *

*男女之愛，很妙！*

*無論你怎麼說：『愛是無條件的』，年輕時的《愛》還總是跟《性》有關。*

*否則，你們為什麼由拉拉手到摟摟腰，到擁吻、撫愛，然後上了床？*

*因為這是與生俱來的本能，也就是因為這本能，使男女可以相悅，
使君子可以好逑，使種族能夠繁衍。** *

* ** ** ** *

*如果人人都談柏拉圖式的愛情，都只要心靈，沒有肉體，
這世上還有人類的存在嗎？*

*所以，年輕人的愛往往是帶有《性趨迫》的。*

*他們目光交流、含情脈脈，他們傾心交談、徹夜不眠。*

*他們終於像是乾材烈火，突破最後的防線，他們翻騰、瘋狂，
達到高潮。*

*然後呢？然後，他們睡著了，睡的很熟。*

*請問，他們怎麼不繼續一直聊、一直聊、互訴衷情、聊到天亮。*

*性愛、性愛、男女最先的相處需要「性」，後來的相處需要「愛」。*

*所以有人說一對男女在做愛之後，還能彼此愛憐、百般溫存的
才是真愛。*

*我們可以引申** - **只有當一對夫妻，有一天成了「無性夫妻」，
還能彼此扶持，相顧深情的才是真愛。** *


*恕我講一句很俗的話，據說應召女郎往往在「辦事」之前，
先收錢。*

*那男人就在眼前，跑不掉，她又何必先收錢呢？*

*應召女郎的道理很簡單** ……*

*『男人的下面硬的時候心就軟，下面軟的時候心就硬。** **
當他《辦完了事》，會立刻變的小器，會馬上後悔花那麼多的
《代價》，甚至立刻覺得眼前的女人不夠美。辦事之前，則恰恰相反。』
** ** *

**夫妻之間，雖然不這麼現實，但是你如果，但是如果你細細想想，
不也差不多嗎？ *

*她溫柔的像隻小貓，偎在你身邊*

*他體貼的像隻小狗，在妳旁邊打轉，她露出最嬌媚的笑，把菜端上桌，
你以最勤快的動作，把碗盤拿去洗。** *

*他們把燈調暗，把音響打開。*

*他們** …**在戀愛時期，也可以說在新鮮時期，兩個人精力都特別好，
吃完飯可以去跳舞。** *

*跳完舞可以去** PUB**，**PUB **…** **回來還有用不完的精力。*


*原本切的細細的水果，現在成了『喂！』唰！一個蘋果迎面飛來。*

*原本蹲在浴缸旁邊幫你搓背，現代已經逕自去睡，並傳來鼾聲。*

*原本的『三菜一湯』，現在是微波爐裡端出來的『三盒一杯』，
還撂下一句話：『人家都丈夫有應酬，只有你天天回家吃飯，
把我都累死了！』** *

*原來的飯後依偎，音樂欣賞，成了督促孩子作功課，以及打賣哭鬧。
原本的柔聲細語，變成了河東獅吼。** *

*那男人也一樣。*

*原本靠在太太背後，對著耳朵吹氣，現在鞋子一摔，
倒上沙發就看報。*

*原本說東說西，** **向太太報告外面的一切，現在眼睛越過
老婆肩頭，盯著電視一動也不動。*

*原本幫著擺碗筷、收桌子，現在兩杯酒下肚，歪在椅子上已經
睡著，且發出殺豬的音響。*

*原本來放屁時，一定躲到浴室，或說對不起，現在大剌剌地，
還好像以『豪放』為得意。*

*原本假日拉著太太看電影、爬山，現在假日不是睡大頭覺，
就是背著球袋消失不見。*

*碰到這種狀況，無論那男人或女人都會說：『老夫老妻了嘛！
幹什麼還裝？上班管孩子，累死了，誰還有什麼情緒？』** ** *

**可不是嗎？*

*他們是倦了，因為工作慘了，因為體力不如從前而倦了，
也因為眼前那個人，已經看了太多年而倦了，他們的『性』少了，
『愛』也少了。** *

*你不能沒有的諒解政界常說的一句話：『上台靠機會，\
下台靠智慧。』*

*男女之間也可以說：『戀愛靠機會，婚姻靠智慧。』*

*茫茫人海，偏偏遇上他，當然是《機會》，但是此後幾十年，
就靠彼此的智慧了。*

*只有那些能夠把《熱情如火》的戀愛，化為《手砥足》的恩愛，
再化為《相濡以沫》的憐愛的人，才有愛的大智慧。** *


*問題是，你必須知道** **- **你有，她不一定有；
她有，你不一定有。 ***

*有些人就是沒有智慧，也可以說他們沒有愛的能力。*

*感情！感情！他有『感』，卻沒有『情』。*

*抱負！抱負！他能『抱』，卻不能『負』。*

*性沒了，他就不愛了；『更年期』到了，她就粗俗了；
年輕女人出現，他就絕情了。*

*除此之外，你必須知道，人的《前半生》可能用《下半身》思考；
人的『後半生』可能是用『上半身』思考。** *

*上半身的思考，是用心、用腦，那是理智的，也是頓悟的，
所以當他『相通了』往往就一下子改變，再也難以挽回。** *

*你知道大思想家羅素，是怎麼跟他老婆愛麗絲分開的嗎？*

*他是有一天騎腳踏車，在鄉間的小路上，突然發覺再也不愛她。*

*然後某一日，讀書讀到一半，站起身，出門，再也沒有回頭。*

*你知道大文豪托爾斯泰是怎麼死的嗎？他是在風雪天逃家
，死在火車站的。*

*他們的老婆都曾經是他們的愛妻，他們為什麼那麼絕呢？
誰不知道愛麗絲漂亮？誰不知道扥爾斯泰的夫人賢慧？** *


*
但是漂亮的不永遠漂亮，賢慧的不永遠賢慧，你要想想他
們會不會像前面故事裡的老外，當他們的另一半變了質，
不再優雅、不再體貼，到有一天，他們忍無可忍，想開了，
便突然下決定
**- **離開，甚至即使會凍死，他們也要離開。 ***


*女人也一樣，多少女人在丈夫《變質》之後，為了孩子忍，
忍了十幾二十年，孩子上大學入社會，女人就突然離開了。** *

*她們的道理簡單『我覺得我的前半生白過了，我少女的夢想一
點都沒有實現，我的犧牲夠大了，剩下一點歲月，讓我作回我自己吧！』** *


*你看過羅伯** J**•華勒寫的《麥迪遜之橋》嗎？笑死人了！** *

*那個女主角跟丈夫在小鎮過了平靜的一生，居然真正讓她永難忘懷的，
是丈夫不在時，偶然闖入她生活的一個男人。** *

*幾天的激情，怎能換來她一生的懷念？*

*很簡單，因為她一生太平靜，因為她的生活太枯燥，
也可能因為她的老公太無趣。*

*如果《那一天》，她選擇跟《那一個男人》，走了，你會驚訝嗎？*

*看到這裡，你有沒有想想你自己的生活？你還有沒有『當年』的情趣？*

*抑或是你已經粗俗地十足是個『莽漢』、『潑婦』、『糟老頭』、『歐巴桑』？*

*你會為吸引另一半而去健身、減肥、控制口腹之欲嗎？*

*你會因為知道他喜歡『健康色』，而多曬一點太陽嗎？*

*你們還會兩口子單獨出遊，享受一點『自己的時間』嗎？*


*記住！*

*婚姻是要經營的** !**？
* ** ** ** *

*妳再忙，也應該保持自己的儀容，妳即使是家庭主婦，
依然要追得上外面的潮流。*

*你即使在家上班，也得天天刮鬍子、常常理髮，
不能只穿睡衣晃來晃去。*

*最起碼，你們一定要找機會，把自己打扮得十分體面，梳了頭
、化了妝、噴上香水，再穿上西裝、晚禮服，出去應酬一下。** *

*真正的目的不是應酬，是讓你的另一半《驚訝！》的發現，
原來在燈光下、燭光下，妳化起妝，他穿起禮服，還是那麼的嫵媚、瀟灑。** *

*你們雖然應該節省，但餐具還是該成套，而且要常替換。*

*因為那是情趣、是變化，而且同樣的食物裝在不同的餐具裡，
能有完全不同的感覺。*

*妳想想，今晚妳捨棄以前的塑膠杯或喝水用的玻璃杯，
為他端出放在瓷碟裡的一杯咖啡時，他的感覺有多麼不同。**

*人都追求感覺、追求新鮮、追求變化、追求品質。*

*婚姻也一樣，當你不在能用『性』去愛、用思想去愛。*

*人** ……**可以老化，但不能腐化；婚姻可以老化，也不能腐化。** *

*當你的婚姻有一天亮起紅燈，妳永遠要想想，是他變了質，還是你變了質？*

*亦或你們兩個都沒有愛的能力，你們只懂《性》，不懂《愛》。*

* ** ** ** *

*如果你們已經四、五十歲，你們要想想，你們辛苦了半生，
存那麼多錢，到今天，過的是什麼樣的生活？** *

*你們的辛苦，除了為子女，還為什麼？*


*如果妳是女人，妳要想想；他前十年要妳幫他創業，
中間十年要妳幫他攢錢，再過十年，妳還要幫他存錢，
存到他死嗎？** *

*還是希望妳為他安排『怎麼花錢』？*

*否則，當有一天，他到老周家，發現自己辛苦大半生，
連菜場裡有的水果都吃不到的時候，他會怎麼想？** *



*同樣的，如果你是男人，你要想想；一個女人，跟了你，
腆了肚子、彎了腰，駝了背、碎了夢，她的一生快要過完了，
她還有什麼？** *

*孩子笑著出嫁的時候，她哭；你笑著招待朋友的時候，她累；
你老了，先走一步的時候她送終。*


*剩下沒多少日子了，你該不該做點什麼？你成天在外忙，值不值？*

*還是一句老話，你們有沒有愛的能力與智慧？*

*如果你不希望另一半有一天因為『想通了』而離開你，你就要想想
『你是不是該做一點點改變？』畢竟** …**夫妻要做的《長久》
** …**是很大的一門功課。

THe One About Eh Happy Mooncake Festival.

Mooncake Festival is a Chinese traditional celebrated day,
on this day, the moon ( 15th August of Chinese Calendar )
would be extremely round and perfect and nice.

It is the time where us kids would go out and scout and patrol
with lantern with 2 boxes of candle in our pocket and a box of
matches.

And all of us kids would be equipped with Rm1.20 ( usd 0.35 )
lantern with candles would be roaming the street of our village
and meet friends and get chased by neighbors dogs and goose.
Sometimes there would be blur friends of us who fall into drain
and got a big boo boo on his /her head cause it was too darn dark.

The lanterns back then were made of thin plastic with thin frame
made of bamboo or metal wire. Typical design was square, some
with Ultraman, Superman design... and there were very little
eletronic or electrical one, and there wasn't any Pokemon or
Hello Kitty or stuff like that, luckily !

Some of the friends lantern was made of Milo Tin, Milk Tin and
once I saw a few lantern made of pamelo's skin -_-" omgbbq !!

We always laughed at the guy who has lantern made of pamelo
cause it was darn heavy and sort of wet and was really not stable.
The poor guy's bamboo stick that used to carry the pamelo's
lanttern was always stretched and seems like it was going to
break like that lolrotf !

Sometimes our lanterns would ended up get burnt ( 40% chances )
and sometimes someone's pant or skirt might get a burn hole
( 20% chances ) and 100% the time, we would be really happy.

Darn the guy with lantern made of pamelo's skin never get burnt
or caught fire, and ours always ended up 100% gone or with a big
hole lolol !!

And after that we would go back to yards, have some celebration by
eating mooncakes ( boy by then we had tausar flavour only ) and chew
some roasted groundnuts. The favourites drink back then ? 7 Up my
friend !! 7 up ! Cold 7 up + ground nuts + a mouthful of tausar
mooncake omg !!

And we would just sit there and talk cock whole night without being
chased to bed by parents and grandma, and right now I can't
remember what did we talk, must be some ambition thing or the
funny things or puppy love things yeah ?

you ask me if I was happy by then ?

I was really really happy, maybe that time I didn't realized that but
now the more I think of it the more happier I am that I had such an
experiance.

Darn Kuala Krai was a nice place !!


In 1982 and 1983:
Oh by the way that time a drum of mooncake ( 4 pcs of mooncakes )
cost rm 2.00 or something and the taste was so pure and sweet : )

In 2007
Today I saw a basic mooncake on sale with tausar inside, Rm 5.50 -_-"

Darn Kuala Krai is still a nice place !!!


Fat Lady is always puzzled that why the heck that
I love to eat mooncake so much after 7 years knowing me.

I was trying to recall the good old time and the memory that
I missed so much, that I could only seen and feel during my
dream.

Darn ! Kuala Krai I miss you so much !!!

The One About Left and Right.

I remember when I was a kid I asked a lot of question and
some of the questions were sort of funny when I think of it
right now.

One day, during the night when there was electrical supply
disruption we had our torch and everything.

Suddenly I turned on the torch and put at my left ear, and
ran to my uncle Addy Ho and asked him
" Eh QQ see my right ear, can see light or not ? "

My uncle Addy Ho paused for 3 seconds and then the laughed
until he fall of his chair in dark.

I was like -_-" " what ? What did I say ? "

Really, until today I still can remember the kind of innocent
tone that I had that night.

Kuala Krai mia story...

The One About Dedication for my friend at East Coast.

Nelayan yang tidak tangkap ikan,

Bagai burung yang tidak terbang,

Apakah burung yang tidak terbang,

Burung unta rupayna tidak terbang.

This one is for you, my friend who is at East Coast now
standing by the seaside, waiting for the mango to ripe.

But sometimes while you wait for the mango to ripe,
perhaps you could get some coconut around, or some
nasi dagang back in town.

don't just stand there and wait. Move it move it !!!

The One About Tea or Black Coffee.

If you take a look at the attached photo you might wonder
that eh is this a cup of tea or black coffee ?

This is indeed a cup of tea, pu er tea from China.

Last time when people says that these pu er tea is as black
as black ink I used to laugh at them and silly them.

But now.... now... I think it is really black lah !!

Why is that this kind of tea is so dark and black one hor ?

The One About The Funny Food from Kommies !!!

So today I read in the local Newsgroup called Kommies and
someone has posted a question or trivia like this :

"Name me the food that has fish inside but chicken outside"

So I asked a few friends all over the world and they came
back with a lot of funny funny delicacies that only appears
in our imagination.

Someone told me that there was this dish that they put eggs
into fish, and put the fish into the chicken, and chicken inside
the lamb, the lamb inside camel and cook -_-"
i think that one is from East Asia or something.

And from china they also has this dish where they put stuff
into chickens, and ducks, and pigs and everything.

But they were all wrong cause it was too complex, my question
was "Name me the food that has fish inside but chicken outside"

You don't involve camels, cow, eggs, pigs and spider here...

The answer was so simple when I saw it that I slapped my
forehead and said . " Aiya ya !! "





knnbbq !! It's the food that we grew up with my friend!!!









































* lari !!!

The One About It's Good to Feel That.

Sometimes it feels good to learn that in the entire
group, I am the one which has more experiance in
technical wise and human relation wise.

Darn it feels darn good actually !!

Wonderful Wednesday ahead !!

THe One About Eh Selamat Menyambut Bulan Puasa!!

Kepada saudari dan saudara, Selamat Meyambut Bulan Puasa !!

To all readers, Selamat Menyambut Bulan Puasa and may all of you
to have a good month ahead !

Peace !!

The One About Pirated DVD.

Just now over MSN Chris Yuan :" Oi philip, can you help me?"

Me:" Wassap ?"

Chris Yuan:" Where can I buy pirated DVD eh ?"

Me:" Oh simple ! "

Chris Yuan:" Oh good, tell me ! tell me !! "

Me:" You go to www.pirateddvd.com.my mar got liao loh ! "

Chris Yuan terus 2 legs in the sky !!

* lari !!

The One About KL is a Funny Place.

KL is a funny place, funny because the drivers here just love
to cut queue.

Raining day, they cut queue.
Sunny day, they also cut queue.
Morning, they cut queue.
Afternoon, they lagi cut queue.
Night time, they cut queue like no body's business!

The conclusion is that, it's a hobby here or favorite game
for them right here !!

My friends from East Coast came to KL one day and he noticed
this and pointed out to me, he said, " These people never go to
school one is it ? "

I shrug and pity their parents...

The One About KL is a Funny Place 2.

In KL, all sort of people loves to cut queue, no matter if you
are rich, poor, big car, small car, male, female or ah kua !!

The drivers just can't sit there and wait for their turn, they
must cut queue cause their time is more important then
your time and my time.

You ?? me ?? we could just wait loh !!

Who ask you and me don't get to own a Honda Accord meh ?

But seriously, i really wonder what is the moral level of these
people you know ?

For such a simple thing like to queue for your turn on the road
also they can't follow, would you expect these people to play
fair and play clean in actual business ?

I seriously doubt that !

The One About KL is a Funny Place 3.

A lot of drivers in KL are funny, they only will start digging for toilet hole
when their shit almost come out from their rectum !!

I bet this 7883 is also one of it !!

People queue 500 meters and follow the lane to turn left, and this guy
just simply cut the queue at the last 10 meters, what the hell is wrong
with this guy's brain ? Or he is rushing to dig a toilet hole to wash his
head ? I don't know...

By the way, is there a place where we can send these photo to and
let the authorities to help these people ? I mean help them to wash
their head in the toilet bowl or something ?

The One About KL is a Funny Place 4.

Kuala Lumpur is a funny place, well most of the time.

You see, the lorry drives at the fast lane while the rest have
to siam and let them move !!

No wonder these lorry has very high accident rates eh ?

Oh and sometimes these lorries were not properly cleaned
up and the sand and rocks would just keep on falling from
the cargo area and if you are too near behind them, you
risk your windscreen shattered ....

Stay away from these lorries mate !!

Boy sometime I wish that there are more JPJ and police
on the road and issue some a lot of tickets
to these drivers.

Dulan betul !

The One About Memory Lost !

For the past few days there were so many topics that I
wanted to write about, especially in the morning at around
7 am or so, when I was just wake up from sleep.

So many ideas and thoughts to be written down.

But, after taking bath, shaving my face, perhaps some poo
poo and by the time I started my car, all the idea and thoughts
were gone.

Should I get a notepad and start writing down the points and
thoughts ??

Or am I getting old already ?? Neah !!!

THe One About Identify The Cleanest Spot.

Attached herewith is a photo of the male toilet in my office.
Could you identify which area is the cleanest spot with least
dust and dirt ?

And perhaps give me the reason why would you think that
the spot is the place ? Why ?

If you could correctly tell me which area, i might consider
giving you a big thumb up and perhaps a good lunch the
next time I see you : )

The One About Errr..

她 16岁怀孕了，老爸对那男的说了 8个字

一个16 岁的女孩跟她母亲说她已经2 个月没来了……
母亲一听不得了赶紧去药房买了验孕剂来确认一下 …… 　　
结果女孩真的怀孕了！

母亲又哭又骂的问到： "到底是那个浑蛋干的好事，
你给我从实招来！！ "

女孩只好打了通电话……

　
半小时后，一部全新的法拉利跑车疾驶到了
女孩家门，

而跨出车门的是位全身名牌衣着又风度翩翩
的中年绅士。 　　

绅士进入屋内与女孩及她的父母双亲在客厅
坐了下来。
"午安！" 绅士礼貌的向她们问候并说道：
" 令媛刚刚告知了我这个大问题，但是因为
我的个人家庭问题，很抱歉我无法娶令媛为妻，
不过我会负该负的责任！"

" 这样好了，如果生的是女孩，我会留3 家店面，
2 间房子，1栋海边别墅及一个 200万美金的帐
户给她。 "

"如果生的是男孩，我会让他继承 2家公司再加
上一个200 万美金的帐户。"

" 如果生的是双胞胎，那就每人继承1 家公司还
有各100 万美金的帐户。"

" 但如果不幸流产了……"

此时在一旁沉默已久的父亲，突然站起来，
并把手紧紧的搭在绅士的肩上后说：
"那你就再干她一次！！

The One About Drinking Chinese Tea.

My company's men loves to drink Chinese tea, mee too, but I
drink all soft of tea as long as they are not Teh Tarik which is
way too sweet yeah.

One day I took my cup of tea and was walking from pantry back
to my desk and i heard the ladies talking...

Miss A :" Wah kai hong drinking tea again ah ?"

Miss K:" Yeah loh Kai Hong always drink tea one ?"

Miss A:" Kai Hong keep fit ah ? drinking slimming tea ah ?"

Me -_-" and "......... "

Miss K: " Tea nice meh ? No taste one ? "

Miss A :" All the man in this office are like old man like that,
always drink tea one lek ! even Kai Hong drink tea liao !"

Me lagi -_-"

So now, you all know why the world most famous and succesful
riffle is called AK-47 liao yeah ?

Non stop topic and non stop conversation one woh !!

The One About Viva Last Vegas.

Got to listen to more of song like the one
down here, by Elvis Presley.... feel so easy
and relax yet got the power....


Bright light city gonna set my soul
Gonna set my soul on fire
Got a whole lot of money thats ready to burn,
So get those stakes up higher
Theres a thousand pretty women waitin out there
And theyre all livin devil may care
And Im just the devil with love to spare
Viva las vegas, viva las vegas

How I wish that there were more
Than the twenty-four hours in the day
cause even if there were forty more
I wouldnt sleep a minute away
Oh, theres black jack and poker and the roulette wheel
A fortune won and lost on evry deal
All you needs a strong heart and a nerve of steel
Viva las vegas, viva las vegas

Viva las vegas with you neon flashin
And your one armbandits crashin
All those hopes down the drain
Viva las vegas turnin day into nighttime
Turnin night into daytime
If you see it once
Youll never be the same again

Im gonna keep on the run
Im gonna have me some fun
If it costs me my very last dime
If I wind up broke up well
Ill always remember that I had a swingin time
Im gonna give it evrything Ive got
Lady luck please let the dice stay hot
Let me shout a seven with evry shot
Viva las vegas, viva las vegas,
Viva, viva las vegas

The One About Ang Ku Ku !!!

One thing that always puzzles me is that why is that every time
when people ( especially babies and children and girls ) cries, and
when you do the Ang Ku Ku funny face to them, they would
immediately start laughing and forget about crying one yeah ?

There was a friend of mine who felt so unhappy the other day.

Hence I typed , " Ang Ku Ku ! Ang Ku Ku !! " in the MSN and
she was immediately lolrtof !!

This Ang Ku Ku thing really that powerful meh ?

Darn ! Scary !! Ang Ku Ku !!

The One About Old Technology.

A few weeks ago during a roadshow of some IT products that
I amcurrently doing I was setting up the lap top on stage for the
presentation and there were a few more guys there like the product
principle etc.

Mark is one young chap from the principle and a nice guy.

Mark : " Eh ! Kai Hong, should we put some music during the tea
break ? "

Me:" Oh sure ! I think I have some mp3s in the hard disk. "

Me busy searching for some slow songs and launched them....

Boy that sure felt sentimental and nice and light and easy...

Mark pointed at my nose and asked: " Wtf ? You still use Winamp ah?"


I was like -_-" and gone speechless for 3 seconds....

Then I replied, " You also use match to light your cigarettes lok ?"

Now it was Mark's turn to become speechless.

Me? I of course ran far far away with my hands at the hip like wings
like some football stars and ran around the hall and shout " Wah ha ha
ha ha ha !! Mark still uses matches !! Mark still uses matches like old
man, muah ha ha ha ha ha !!!! "