The One About F-117 and F-22

After many many years in service, my F-117 is finally going to
retire from active services and become under General Fat Lady's
jurisdiction.

Me ? I got a new smaller vehicle, still very much stealth and
could move fast and move low. Darn !! I am going to miss the
7 years old F-117 already.


Fat Lady, " WTF ? I get F-117 ah ? You get F-22 ah ? "

Me, " F-117 better then F-22 ! Ignition part got light one woh ! "

Fat Lady, " )!&&$^^%!%%$$$!#%&**#*$*%&&&B"

The One About Good and Bad Dreams.

I had a dream last night, in the dream I had the urge to go pee
pee and I went to the toilet.

In side the toilet, there was only 4 walls with 1 door and nothing
else, no toilet bowl, no toilet seat nothing, just like a empty store
room, how too pee like that ?? Hoiyoh !!!

This is bad dream !!

Sometimes in the dream, we worked like hell and went thru some
tough time and finally time to eat came, and I woke up !!!!!!!!

That is also bad dream (timing) !


Sometimes in the dream, we ate a lot damn good stuff and enjoyed
to the max, and able to wake up before the bill of food come !!!!

That is good dream ( timing ) lolrotf !!

Theses idea came from the 19 sec duration of my pee this morning.

The One About Flowers.

The One About Many Partitions

Now, my desktop computer shows 13 partitions of hard disk
drive containing a lot of files since 1996 until today.

All 4 IDE and 2 SATA are used up and there are totally 5 physical
hard disk in the computer casing, powered by 1GB RAM and a tiny
mini kini Intel Celeron processor -_-"

That is a lot of files in there, really.

Once there was a few files missing, I sent a team of commando to go
in and search for the files, the whole team of commandos also went
missing till today.

I sent another team to rescue the rescue team which went to rescue
the files, the team failed yet again !!!

It's a huge jungle in there and do not mess with me , ok ?

Kommies : "Nerd !! -_-""

You know who has this much of partition back in 1990s ?

Dr. Foo from Kota Bharu , Kelantan.

I am so proud and grateful to Dr Foo , thanks Doc !!

There are also millions of funny story of Dr Foo and my family too!

The One About Buku Latihan

Somehow the old exercise book ( Buku Latihan ) from year 1994
managed to follow me despite so many years after, and after moving
from a place to another.

Some comics from 1996 like Michael The Cat and Gon : 傻仔龙 followed me
wherever I go.

KB to SS2
SS2 to Setapak
Setapak to KB
KB to Ampang
Ampang to PJ Condo
PJ Condo to PJ link house
PJ link house to Town House


wtf ....

The One About CPU cleaned 1

What you see in the photo is how does my computer casing
looked like yesterday night.

Was adding another Hard Disk in and noticed that the Processor
heat sinks and fan were full of dirts and dust.

Hence, I had to take them out and give them a good bath.

Note that this is the first time I am dissembling a heat sink since
my Pentium 200MMX time.

Boy the fan and heat sink technology sure has come a long way and
improved so much.

But dust is always there, and heat sink cream or the grey coloured
heat conductor is always there. Eh ?

And a person with thick palms is not suitable to do too much of
hand in hand out job between the CPU, RAM, Hard disk and stuff like
that cause the meat will kena Kiap in between, I sumpah !!

How to trim one's palm size ah ?

The One About CPU Cleaned 2

Look at the amount of dirt and all those don't know what
on the cooler fan and heat sinks fins.

A lot of dirt and dust means no good air ventilation.

Bad air ventilation means CPU get hots.

CPU gets hot means we could fry eggs on top of it ??

Anyway, I can't stand all these dust near me and inside
my computer case. Hence , Operation Desert Storm begins lah!

The One About CPU Cleaned 3

Look at the amount of dust and dirt and all those shitzz...

Collected since Jan 2006 till 12 June 2008. 2 and 1/2 years
worth of dust, dirt and don't know what.

Kenapa boleh jadi begini ?

The One About CPU Cleaned 4

This is how the heat sink looked like after a rinse of
pressurized water. No soap, no detergent, just water to
flush away the dust and dirt.

After that, I blowed of the water drops in between the
fins so hard that the vision became dark ( insufficient air
to the brain -_-" )

Cause water droplets on your CPU and Mainboard might
cause short circuit and fry themselves up, right ?

The One About CPU Cleaned 5

Tadaaaaa !!! Clean and shining and looks like new one!

Despite it's a Celeron only, it's more then enough for me
and my family home use.

The One About Taman Kosas Breakfast

Have known this uncle who sell " Kon Low Mee " for about 10 years
already, this shop is in Taman Kosas, Ampang, one of the best place to
stay back then !

He sells nice Wan Tan Mee and Kon Low Mee.... Kai Kei -_-" is the
stall's name.

I don't know his name, and he doesn't know mine, but each time I come
he remembered what I want and I just say hi to him and greeting and
everything....

And the good time begins !!!!

The One About Appetizer

The pickled green chilies ( a must ) always come first !!

The boss still busy there preparing the main course and soup of the day -_-"

The One About Noodles Arrival at Table !!

Now this is the main course of the morning, yeah !!

The One About The Soup of the Day !

Any Kon Low Mee is not complete without a bowl of hot
soup with Wan Tan inside !!!

The One About The Ready To Eat Condition

Now the noodles are ready to be put into stomach after
being properly mixed with it's gravy.

Ready !!! 1, 2, 3... go !!!

The Aftermath (burp)

That is the end of a wonderful breakfast + lunch at Taman Kosas !

The One About Don't Know What Flower.

Saw this a few weeks ago and had my d50 with me. And if you look carefully
you might be able to find 3 dust ( from my CCD sensor lolrtof ! )

The One About A Cold One !!

问： 为甚么不能在海边讲笑话??

答：　因为可能会引起海啸！！

-_-"





逃之夭夭

The One About Shorty & Jogging

Today Jessie came kacau me over the MSN and started
a lot of discussion about her height and everything.

She asked, " Pendek tak boleh jogging mer ? "

Me, "Pendek jogging bahaya, kereta tak nampak !"


* run away !!!

I think she is still angry until don't know what do to, till now !!

The One About Rice Dumpling

A naked Rice Dumpling. Awaiting for Fat Lady ...

Dumpling:" Eat me !! You Fat Lady !! "

Fat Lady:" Ok !! Your wish is my command !!! "




The next moment, the rice dumpling looked like this.

Me :" Ewwwwwwwwww !!! "


Fat lady with a piece of pork in her mouth asked, " Whhaaaattzzzz ?? "

The One About Rice Dumpling 2

The Rice Dumpling Season is here again, this year my parents
started early to prepare the rice dumplings. And the result ?

Fat Lady :" Wah !! Sedap !!! " and started eating.

Me with my d50 -_-"

The One About Hmmmm d50 !!! hahahahaha

Acquired a Nikon D50 some weeks ago at RM 1,000.

Was thinking to buy and to sell this babeh so that I could earn
some RM 500 in the process and while get to play with a real
dSRL for sometime.

Fat Lady got that and sniff sniff, " Hmm, smells new ! Let's keep
it ! "

Me -_-" ok

Anyway, the camera produces good photo despite some dust on
the sensor. Me going to clean the dust later and might buy a
better lens later. Please wait till i have chance to take some
night shoot using this D50. I heard the noise is pretty low.

The One About Going Oversea !!

A few weeks ago someone asked me where would I go for
honey moon if I am married.

I replied, " Pulau Ketam ? Pulau Pinang ? Pulau Langkawi?"

Someone -_-" and 2 legs in the sky.

Me, " What ? All over sea destination woh !! What else do you
want ? hmmm ?? hmmm ? "

Hence there is a saying that, " Never ! Ever ! Evar marry Philips !! "

The One Which is Dedicated For Kelly.

Kelly was a good friend of mine back to 1995, we were having a lot
of fun back then, like watching Hot Shots ! together, teaching her
how to do juggling with lime etc. Somehow she later moved to JB
and started working there ever since. Sigh !! Yeah ?

A few days ago she SMS me and I returned her call and asked her
how was everything.

She, " Waliew ! Nowadays going to work in Singapore very jam !!"

Me, " Really ? Cause the guy who ran away right ?"

She, " Yeah lah !! Need 2 hours plus to cross the causeway, like
that is very tiring everyday leh !! "

Me, " Poor you !! Don't worry, you are not alone ok !!?? "

She sobbed sobbed and asked, " Really ? "

Me, " Now I also very difficult to go to work, my house is 4km
away from my office, everyday also need 10 to 15 minutes only
can arrive at the office, you know ? "

She -_-"

Me, " I have to wake up at 8:30 am, and by 8:45 am I have to
go out, else I would be late to arrive at office, and that would
resulting all the nice Nasi Lemak sold out liao !! Very sum tong
you know ?? how sum tong ahhhhh !!! "

She -_-" and continued to sob and sob and sob !!!

She, " Jangan lari you !!! "

Me lolrotf !!!!

Hei ! Kelly ! Take good care of yourself and may you always be
happy there yeah ?

The One About Income Tax Relief.

Today in office we all were discussing about income-tax and some
deduction and relief.

Miss Prada, " Boss, what are the things that we could get relief eh ?"

Boss, " Computer, parents medical, children, spouse, etc... "

Miss Prada, " What else eh ? "

Boss, " Boobs !!! Your boobs !!! "

Miss Prada, " I beg your pardon ? How dare you !!! "

Boss, " Yeahlah, when you buy boobs , you have the receipts what ?"

Miss Prada, " How dare you ! Mine are original boobs ok ?
Walaupon taklah besar sangat.... "

Boss -_-" and me, " He means Books !!! Buku !! Magazine !! Majalah !!! "

Miss Prada, " Oh ! I see !! Cheh !! Sei Hum Sup !! "

Me lolrotf !!!

Boss -_-" and " What ?? What is going one ? "

Oh ! Never mind ....

The One About 246,480 km

Look at the dashboard of the F-117 a few days ago and found
that this Stealth Fighter has flown over 246,480 km over the
past 67 months, which is about 3678 km per month or 122 km
per day -_-" fuyuh !!!

Thanks for the reliability and always being there for me !!

The One About 子孙根

In MSN today, a friend of mine who is famous for being
Chili Padi , LCLY and 整 蛊 作 怪 也 很 同 时 臭 屁 的！


Jessie Chow Pendek says:
我是曹操的子孙

Wong Kai Hong says:
什么？？曹操的子孙根？？？？？

Wong Kai Hong says:
天哪

Wong Kai Hong says:
我的天哪！！！！！！


子孙根 = kkc !

* run !!

The One About Warm Seremban Siew Pow

This morning I bought 2 seremban siew pow, fresh from the oven and
had one after my breakfast. And brought the other one to office and
put on my table.

Moment later , Miss Prada walked in and me, " Hi morning !! "

Miss Prada, " Morning , Mr Wong. "

Me, " Eh ! Would you like to have a Seremban Siew Pow ? "

Miss Prada, " Wow ! Really nice of you , thanks ! " and she proceed
and started eating the Seremban Siew Pow.

Miss Prada , " Wow ! So nice ! Still warm one woh ! Thanks yeah ! "

Me, " Yeahloh, this morning I put the Siew Pow in my pants pocket
next to balls to keep them warm..... "

Miss Prada, " Iyeeerrrrr !!!! Woweeeeekkkkkkkkkkk !!
Ptui ptui !! Wooooweeeekkkkkkkkkkk !!! Wowek !!
knnbbqserembansiewpowjohnyhotdogwhiny !!! "

Me ? I ran away so fast and laughed so hard till I almost pee in my
pants !!!

Warm Siew Pow ? Anyone wants ???

* Lari !!!

The One About Piglets

Me told my friends, " OMG ! My cousin dog gave birth to piglets"

My friends, " You crazy chicken ah ? "

Me, " Really mia ! Look at the photos !! "

The One About Puppies !!

Me :" Fuyoh !! Why your puppies look like piglets one ?"

Cousin:" lolol ! I thought like anak tikus !? "

Me : " Correct ! Correct ! Correct !! "

* Now we have got 5 dogs at home -_-"

The One About Police Road Block !

A few weeks ago as usual after work I went to pub and had
fun there and got drunk. I was so drunk but yet I still decided
to drive home cause the pub was not far away from my house.

The good thing to stay in PJ area is that your house is never
far away from pubs and happening places, right ??

So on the way back to home that day, despite the high feeling I
could still able to drive, remember the road home and stop at
red lights and go at green, cool eh ? Who says that I am drunk?

But not far away from the pub there was this police road block.

Me, " Yeah right !! Saturday, happening day, sure got road block!"

2 mins later and the police knocked at my windows and I winded
down the window. I am very sure that I am not going to pass the
alcohol test and hence, let's get them to issue the ticket and quickily
go home and sleep lah ! Damn tired.

The police officer put the instrument over the window and I was
lazy to go out from my car, I just blow hard at the instrument
and wait for the reading.

Me, " fuuuuuuuuuuu....... " blowed as hard as I could.

20 second later, the police asked me, " Encik , kenapa encik tiub
saya mia lampu suluh ? Tengok ? Sudah basah dengan air liur
encik !! "

Me -_-" and nevertheless I got the ticket for being too drunk to
differentiate between a torch light and alcohol tester.

**********

My neighbor uncle told me this story, when he told me the story
his face looked very serious and i trust that this is based on the
true story.

Don't Drink And Drive and Watch That Torch Light !!!!

Maka hatta, Hang Tuah pon bertitah bertanya si Lee Poh,

Hang Tuah, " Eh ! Aku dengar lok nih Kelateh panah sungguh
deh ! Pokok, grumput mati kheging belakoh ! "

Lee Poh, " Yeah lah ! Pasal itu apana kesan Al Maanila !"

Lee Poh, " Atau, kesan Al Fido Dido ? "

Lee Poh, " Atau, kesan Al Fatimah binti Ramlah "

Lee Poh, " Atau, kesan Al Nana? Ali Baba ? Lina Ong ?"

Hang Tuah -_-"

Lee Poh, " Cekap cakap ! Apakah jawapan muktamat anda ?"

Hang Tuah, " Boo.. bolehkah saya gunakan talian hayat ?"

Lee Poh, " Sudah tentu boleh, talian hayang dibawakan khas
untuk anda oleh Ericsson T 28, nipis macam tuala wanita !"

Hang Tuah, " Teee... terima kasih ! "

Lee Poh, " Siapa anda hendak menelefon ? "

Hang Tuah, " Abang saya, James Bondalinggam ! "

Lee Poh, " Ok ! Silakan tunggu... aku paseh speaker phone deh!"

Hang Tuah, " Terima kasih.... "

T 28 mia speaker phone, " Nombor yang anda dial, tiada dalam
perkhidmatan kami , The Number That You Have Dialed, is not
in Service "

Hang Tuah, " Apacek ?? Kenapa boleh jadi begini ? "

Lee Poh, " Oh maafkan kami, nampaknya nombor tersebut
tidak aktif, jadi, berbalik kepada studio, apakah jawapan
muktamad anda.... "

Hang Tuah, " Eh ! Tapi saya belum dapat bercakap dengan
james lagi, macam mana ada jawapan ?"

Lee Poh, " Itu anda punya masalah, bukan saya punya masalah."

Hang Tuah terus 2 legs in the sky....

Hang Tuah semakin cemas dibuat si Lee Poh dengan nadanya
yang serba memaksa dan menghantui jiwanya yang lemah.

Jiwanya yang memang lemah lembut nampaknya tidak dapat
bertahan lama jika diteruskan pergodaan oleh Lee Poh.

Lee Poh, " Hmmm... janganlah begitu !! "

Hang Tuah, " Eh ! cepatlah !!"

Lee Poh, " Taknak ! Orang ni perempuan lah !"

Hang Tuah, " Apa taknak taknak ? Nak kena tampar ni
ke ?"

Lee Poh, " Aku Taknak Merokok ! Kerana ianya
membahayakan kesihatan dan mungkin menyebabkan
barah payu dara. "

Hang Tuah, " PFORBABOH ??? "

Akan bersambung lagi entah bila....

The One About Teaching A Lesson

The stray dogs in my area has becoming worst lately as the dogs
reproduce in a very huge amount and at high speed.

Hence, now there are a several gangs of stay dogs namely:

Midnight attack gang.

Daily surprise gang.

Bike chasing gang.

Making noise gang.

Road blocker gang.

Rubbih cari makan gang.

Ok !!! That is a lot of gang x 5 or 6 that is about 40 stray dogs at
my place. No wonder I see people go jogging carrying stick and
baton just like a High Ranking General or Police Officer.

-_-" eh !!

Anyway, we shall talk or introduce about the individual gangs above
when i have the mood and time to do so yeah !!

But this morning the Road Blocker Gang ( aka Kurang Ajar Gang )
was at work !! They were having fun blocking the road and causing
the cars to slow down and they RESPECT NO LAWS !!!

Me old myself, " Enough is enough !! Teach the guy a lesson !!"

Pressed the F-117 silent mode and the engine became noiseless and
car become super quiet !!

The leader dog still stand at the middle of the road, arse facing me!!

Me " Urgggghhh !!!! " and let the F-117 glide with 20kmph and
give a soft push at the dog leader !!

For us who do precise driving all the time, this is small case cause
we always know how to do this kind of trick !!

Once the F-117 touched the dog, the dog had a shock of it's life and
ran to the road side and looked back at me.

Me, " Hei ! Your grandfather road ah ? "

Dog, " Hei ! You scared me to death you know ? "

Me, " Oh ! Really ? I did that on purpose one ! Didn't feel so ?"

Dog, " You watch out ! "

Me, " You watch out your arse too ! "

Dog, " Hmmmpppffff !!"

Me, " lolrotf !! "

Shifted to 1st gear and accelerate full throttle.

The dog coughed in dust and engine smoke and cried.

Me 1 and Dog 0 !!!

Me won big time !!!

* run fast fast !!

The One About Trees and Lamp posts !!

After lunch today the girls at the back of the car felt
the urgency to go to washroom. " pee pee " they said they
need.

Me, " Ok ! Let me drive a bit faster, but if traffic jam
how eh ? "

Amy, " Hmm... find a tree ! find a tree !!! "

Me, " Why must you find a tree ? If you are about to
explode already but there are no trees to be found, then
how ? Especially at the highway area? "

Amy -_-"

Me, " Why can't you just pee at the lamp post there ?"
( Me pointed at Phileo Damansara lamp post )

Amy -__-"

Moments later, Amy, " You idioteh ! Cause if I pee pee
at the lamp post, it would get rusted !! While if I pee at the
tree it becomes organic fertilizer ! Faham ?"

Me -_-" betul juga !!

This one is dedicated for those who feels like going to explode
but stuck in bad traffic jam mia people.

Muah ah ha ha ha ha ha ha !!!

The One About 5P and 5K

I have a lot of friends from Singapore and some of them are very
lovely one, like one day one of my friend somehow made me
"beh song" hence I insulted him.

I said, " You know you all Singaporean has 5 K ? "

J, " Wtf 5 K ? "

Me, " You Kiasu, Kiasi , Kia Bor, Kia Boh, Kia Zheng Hu!"

怕输 怕死 怕没有 怕老婆 怕政府！

J -_-"

And then J replied," You blardy Malaysian ! You also have 5 4 P!"

Me wtf this round.

J, " You all always Pangsai Pangjio Pangpui Pang Pui Ki !! "
什 么 大 便 小 便 乱 放 屁 还 放 飞 机!

The One About Old Lift.

A lot of ghost or paranormal story/ incident happen inside some old
lift or old building. Especially when there is no one around and when
the night is quiet, no wind....

Today I went to Digital Mall's car park with Amanda and we wanted
to use the lift, Amanda pressed the button and the lift came shortly.

Amanda walked in to the lift which already have 5 person and then I
walked in.

The alarm went off, and the button " Overweight " came on !!!!

Amanda -_-" and the rest of the people behind us also -_-"

I took out my car keys from my pocket and showed everyone the
keys and said, " These keys very heavy, hence overweight !"

Me, " Never mind, I walk with my keys, Amanda ! Come !! "

Then I walked out from the lift proudly with Amanda following me
closely from behind.

Amanda, " Wah Lau eh ! You blame your car keys ah ? "

Me, " Of course lah, I also want to blame the pack of tissue in my
pocket one, but I am in such a hurry you see ? "

Amanda terus 2 legs in the sky !!!

So next time, when the lift become overweight and if you are the
last one to walk in, tell them the truth !! Tell them which are the
items that cause the alarm to go off, such as

Car keys.

Credit card.

Pack of tissue.

Parking ticket ( a lot of time )

Your sun glasses.

Your watch, maybe.

Your handphone, maybe ??

Tell them the truth, it's not your fault, don't worry !!!

* run away !!!

The One About Johntim in Hai Kou

Hai Kou is the major city for Hai Nan Island of China and my friend
Johntim Chia is being sent to Hai Kou for a couple of weeks. After a
few days staying there he reported something funny back to me.

Johntim:" Here you can choose to wear shirt to take bus."
Me:" What ? "

Johntim:" Yeah, it is optional here for you to wear shirt when taking
bus, I have seen people not wearing shirt when they are in the bus!"
Me:" What Da Fark ?? "

Johntim:" Oh yeah ! Here very nice, RM 0.50 you can board the bus
and go to ANYWHERE that you want. "

Me 2 legs in the sky !!!

I am going to Hai Kou one of the day my friend !!!

The One About Healthy Breakfast !!

When I was in From 2 back to 1992, there was this subject called
"Kemahiran Hidup" which basically general knowledge about life as
we grow up and some skills subject.

In one of the chapter it said that " Nasi lemak is a type of balanced
food ( or healthy ) as Nasi Lemak cointains

Rice ( Carbohydrate )

Chicken ( A lot of protein )

Cucumber ( Vegetable, fiber, vitamins etc )

Anchovies ( Seafood, iodine, protein -_-" )

Egg ( Protein and enzyme )

We all trusted what we learnt in school very much and till today we
always practice "Eat Healthy Food "

Let's start babeh !! RM 3.50 for a nice pack of balanced healthy food.

Fat Lady, " But nasi lemak a lot of oil !! "

Me, " Oil is good as it protects our stomach from bacteria and virus !"

Fat Lady -_-" and mouth open big big....

Me added on, " Oil is essential as it contains Vitamin B1, B2 and B3.. "

And, " Oil is good cause it moisturize your skin, preventing water loss!
see my skin ? QQ one , doing doing sound one !! "

Fat Lady =_=" and ....







Fat Lady would probably kill me when she sees this, but, heck for the
happiness of mankind, die die also must publish this one.

The One About Guiness Malta

The original ( above Guiness Malta ) taste as good as ever !!
Very kao ! Sweet and hmmm..... Goood !!!




The new Malta Quench taste, hmmmm, very lite and has normal carbonated
drink taste. For me, I don't like it that much.

Cause I believe no one would drink Malta when they are too thirsty, right ?

Malta is for real man, sitting in front of sofa, after taking a warm bath, and
take a sip and hmmm... that's what Malta for !!

Beer replacement !!

I heard it could help grows beer belly too, no ??

* Going for skipping tomorrow morning.

The One About 30mm Cannon.

The 30mm Cannon is being loaded and the firing system is
being turned on. The target(s) are also are in sight and locked,
waiting to press the Fire button only.

Darn, the finger is so itchy !!!

This time, I set the firing rate to 2,100 round per minute and
we are using the depleted uranium rounds !!

Lock and loaded babeh !

The One About Trojan Horse

A friend of mine asked me how come his PC has trojan horse right
not, as he doesn't download files and do harmful things to his PC.

I told him that sharing USB drive, open connection ( 24 hours broad
band connection ), surfing prawn photos, hackers and all sorts of
reason contributed to Trojan horses etc.

Him, " Then ? How do I get rid of these Trojan Horses ? "

Me, " Simple, you put in 2 hungry tigers and 2 hungry lions, and
in no time the horses and cows and sheep would be all gone !! "

My friend -__-" and har ???

The One About Kura Kura

一 个 朋 友 问 我 : "你 知 道 乌 龟 怎 样 死
的 吗? "

我 答 : " 对 不 起 我 不 知 道 "

她 答 道 : " 慢 到 死 !!! "

=_="

The One About I Am the IT Director !!

Today I was discussing something with my colleague and mumbled
about that I am the company IT exec, IT manager and IT Director
at the same time.

My colleague took a glance at my table and revert, " Nope !"

Me, " What ? "

Colleague, " You need a few screwdrivers on your desk to really
look like IT manager. "

Me looked looked looked, " you are damn right !!! "

Going to buy a screwdriver tomorrow and decorate my desk
already yeah !!

Anyway, there is 3 x 1GB + 2 x 2GB +4 GB + 160GB worth
of external data storage in the photos.




If you could identify every and each of them, I would give you
a international branded T Shirt, to your house address.

I sumpah !!!

* jogging away.

The One About You Think I Am Lulu ?

Lulu is a person that we always refer as a person who is
a little bit slow and nerd and could be cheated upon easily.

Like when your sister want to borrow 50 dollar and pay you
back in 3 years time.

You point at her nose and ask, " You think I am Lulu ah ?? "

Or

When your boyfriend say, " I will buy you a diamond ring
in 4 years time, but i want to kiss you first now, can ah ? "

You should point at his nose, and ask,
" You think I am Lulu ah ? "

Anyway, I was in Digital Mall yesterday and was searching for a
DVD writter for my friends lap top.

Went into a shop and asked the guy if he does have.

The guy, " Yeah we do, wait, let me show you. " and showed me
a DVD writter with 2007 warranty sticker.

Me, " How much is this ? "

The guy, " RM 380 .00 "

Me, " What ? RM 380 ? This is normal price or Lulu price ? "

The guy, " Normal price, very cheap already. "

Me, " How about the warranty period ?"

The guy, " 3 months loh !"

Me, " Thanks, but i am not buying this , bye !"

The guy wtf ??

20 minutes later, I got one good DVD writter at Computer War
SS2 installed by a technician called Ah Hawk ( -_-" )

and the cost ? RM 280 with everything included.....

So ? To the guy at Digital Mall.

You Really Think I Am Lulu ah ??

* Run away really fast !!!

The One About Visa To Myanmar

My colleague :" Eh Kai Hong, do I need a visa if I am going to
Myanmar ? "

Me:" Yes you do need one."

Colleague:" How to and where to get ? "

Me:" www.visa.com loh "

I ran away really fast before she could shout at me
" Sei Fei Chai !! Jangan lari !!! "

*Err someone pointed out, that it should be

https://www.go-myanmar-visa.com baru betul !!!

* run away fast fast !!!

The One About My Some Nice Toy

Last night was driving from NKVE towards Subang and the
good old F-117 was coughing a little bit on the road.

I looked at the instrument penal and the fuel lever was low
and ( indicator was on for 1 whole day already ) and I had
no choice but to turned in to Subang Jaya Shell petrol station
and made a refuel.

My sister asked, " Eh ! Need a Ferrari or not ?"

Me, " Hmm.. ok let's go and see. What is the entitlement?"

My sister, " RM 40 for 1 car (toy). "

Me," Eh why don't you buy yourself normally ?"

My sister, " My fuel tank 1 full tank RM35.00 only ! "

Me lolrotf !!!

My sister," This is darn unfair to Kancil user ok ? "

Me, " Don't worry, very soon the petrol price would go
up and you would get your wish fullfilled ! "

Anyway, later that night, I saw this nice Ferrari in my
house, got sound one somemore -_-"

Darn, that is the only way I could own a Ferrari anyway!

The One About Spicy Chicken Wrap

Just now was doing order for some local fast food, and saw
the new item called Spicy Chicken Wrap.

Hence I pon asked my girl to order one for me.

Another girl came, " Eh Mr Wong, what is this Spicy Chicken
Wrap zhek ? hmmm ? What does it taste like ? "

Me, " I am not sure, never tried before woh. "

Girl, " Mr Wong, how is it made ? Made by what ? What roti
is that wrapping the chicken ? Hot ah ? Spicy ah ? "

Me -_-" " Itu roti ialah roti telor bawang, bungkus itu ayam
tandoori yang pedas ... "

Girl, " knnbbq kai hong !! "

The One About Katak Bawah Tempurung II

The result of the polling for this round is being coming out in TV.

The TV reporter and news reader all scratch their heads, looked
blurred and kept on asking, " Strange, what is going on etc ! "

I have one word for them,

" Go do your farking homework first in future !! "
period

The One About A Dedication to my G Shock

First seen this watch ( model ) back in 1996 when I was in TAR college's
nearby Alpha Angle shopping mall. I spent RM 136 or so
(my part time income ) and bought one with my good friend Tse Chin.

From that day onward, wherever we go, we were wearing this watch.

Lectures, tutorial, sleeping, ponteng class, take mini bus No. 49,
swimming, blood donation, walking in night to Sri Rampai etc.

We had this watch on our wrist and we had 200% confidence with it.

It has shock protection feature and electro luminescent backlight.

It is tough and it is really reliable, one thing is that sometimes friend
of mine would see me, look at my wrist , look at my face, look at my
wrist again and look at my face again.

They would ask, " Why you wear kid's watch to work ? "

Me, " Eh you orang utan ah ? This is G Shock , babeh ! "

Them, " But it is still digital watch eh ? "

Me," You ever watch Speed ? Keanu Reeves ? Anyone?"

Them, " hmmmm.... nope... ! "

Me, " Fine never mind ! "

Them, " But you as an manager, cannot wear digital watch to
work nah ! "

Me, " Why ? "

Them, " Image, Look, Appearance, Maturity, Status, Confidence,
Taste, etc ! "

Me, " What the hell ?"

Them, " The most important, digital watch is for kids ! 细 路 哥 "

Me bang head against my table and decided not to talk to them
anymore.

Yes, maybe one day I would wear a proper Chronograph watch to
work or event.

But deep in my heart, my G Shock is still the best.

In fact it is the best of the best of the best !!! Period !

* Jogging away wearing my G Shock ... hmmmpppffff !!!

The One About G Shock getting annual leaves soon.

My royal precious super hardworking good quality G Shock might be able
to get her long due deserved annual leave soon.

She might get transferred to night shift or sports ( swimming ) department
as the new guy has arrived and landed. Kih kih kih kih !!!

The One About For King and Country !!

How come the Kelantan and middle flags can't dance like the Malaysian
flag at the right eh ?

Taken this shot at Kuala Krai land office between Taman Kuala Krai and
Guchil area....

The One About Kuala Krai Evening

The evening of Kuala Krai always look like this during Chinese New
Year. And the weather in Kuala Krai ( perhaps the rest of Kelantan )
would be very cold in the morning and heavy fog.

And extremely hot in the afternoon till night.

But this year 2008 the weather has becoming cold since evening
and the night is so breezy that I wished to sleep outside of the
house looking at the stars.

The weather has really changed recently.

Would there be a day when it would snow in Malaysia ??

That would be good cause one word, one word !!!

HIBERNATION !!!

The One About Salt and Pepper

Today during lunch I was with Fat Lady and we were sitting in
a restaurant which the famous singer who decided to go into roasted
chicken business.

Cause I have been having plenty of chicken since The Tour De Kelantan
and De Tour De Sungai Siput, hence I ordered some jacket potatoes
stuff.

When the plate of potato came, I ate a little bit and found out that the
taste was a bit out.

Hence I asked the waiter :" Hi ! Could I have some salt and pepper please?"

20 second later the waiter came back with a bowl of black pepper sauce
and placed the bowl on my table, and walked away really fast !!

Me :" Excu......... never mind... " cause the waiter was gone before I
could finish my excuse me things....

I looked at Fat Lady, her face was also clueless and confused....

Fat Lady, " Now what are we suppose to do with this bowl of thing. "

Me, " I don't know, put them onto my potato ? "

I tried to put a bit of the sauce on potato and tasted it. Yucccckkkk !!!

Me, " Negative ! Negative !! "

Fat Lady, " Then ? Should we drink it ? "

Me shouted, " Hell no !! "

Fat Lady, " Then ? Should we wash hands with it ? "

Me shouted, " Heaven no !!! "

And finally I asked the waiter for, " Sedikit garam dan sedikit lada
hitam " and this time the correct stuff came finally.

Aiseh !!! I must practise my English to become better or what ?

How come they can't understand my English eh ?

Perhaps I spoke like British kot ? Got meh ?? Got mehh ???

* run away....

The One About Chemur and Sungai Siput

Chemur is a small town in between Ipoh city and Sungai Siput and
it comprises some shops and some really pre war old shops. You
wouldn't miss is whenever you pass thru Chemur town.

Was in Chemur town attending dinner with relatives and Fat lady
was having some headache.

It was around 9 pm and I went out to Chemur main road to search
for 7-11 shops... -_-" didn't see any.

Suddenly I felt that my right shoulder became heavier and warmer.

And Shit !!!! Really shit !!!

The swallows from the power cable had just pooed on my shoulder !!!

But I thanked god cause it wasn't an ostrich up there pooing at me!

Aiseh !!! So accurate meh ? Anyway, had to continue to seach for
the medicine...

Searched for medicine shop.... -_-" didn't see any and probably
they went for resting already.

Went to a shop selling liqueur ( next to Shell petrol station of Chemur )
and asked if they sell any paracetamol..

Me:" Hi, do you sell any paracetamol ? "

Boss:" Sorry , we sell only liqueur .. "

Me:" Oh i see, it's ok then.... " and suddenly

Boss:" Wait wait !! " and ran to his drawer and teared out 2 pils of
paracetamol for me.

Boss:" This one personal use one, we are not selling tough... "

Me: " Har ? How much do I owe you ? "

Boss:" Aiyah ! No need to kira lah Aiyah !! "

Me:" One more thing, could I have a little bit of tissue paper please?
I kena the swallows poo just now -_-" "

Boss trying not to laugh ( face became reddish ) and passed me some
tissue paper and helped me to wipe away most of the poos on the
shoulder cause I can't reach the spot easily.

Me promptly thanked him very much and walked away feeling darn
warm again !!

Darn ! This boss is good !!

Squad ! Hats down for the Chemur people eh !!

And for the swallows of Chemur, you all wait and see !! Just wait
and see !

The One About Sungai Siput

Had a chance to visit Fat Lady's relative back in Sungai Siput
during Chinese New Near time.

A small town with a main straight road and a lot of friendly
people.

Surrounded by beautiful mountains and nice forest too !

Darn I could retire there one day eh ??

And everyday you could stay at the balcony and see the sun
goes down slowly.... and have a glass of cold Wine.....

Darn !! Going there again really soon...

The One About Fire Works 1

Darn I like this one !!

The One About Fire Works 2

This one is the 12 or 10 sticks in one pack, I remembered
it has a Cat brand one. After the the sparks, the whole stick
would become very very hot.

But the sparks were brilliant eh ?

The One About Fire Works 3

Yay ! Main Bunga Api !!

Darn it must been 15 years already since I see one of
these !!

The One About I Don't Know What To Say

Kids nowadays are very smart and has higher intelligence compared
to when I was younger.

When they see camera they know what kind of expression to show
and they would find 2000 ways to attract your shutter clicks !!

Last time when I was a kid, I didn't even know what is a camera
nor knew that we need to smile and look at the lense.

Hence a lot of photos with mouth open and saliva coming out
from mouth while looking at some fried chickens...

Anyway, back to Chinese New Year a few weeks ago we found out
that Fat Lady has this nephew who is darn good at doing faces !

Try this one ! When I saw the photo I laughed until I almost
pee in my pants !!

Where did he learn this darn expression from ? Japanese Carton?

The One About Great Wall Came Down !!

2 days ago there was this super heavy rain and the rain water
brought down the wall near my place when they have no where to
go.

I wasn't around my house that time and I thought some crazy
lorry driver or my drunken sister might have brought down the
wall via lorry or kancil instead.

Anyway, here it goes !!

The One About What Is EP ??

This morning while having breakfast, my staffs were busy
chatting about food and quality and everything....

bla.. bla.. bla.. bla...

Miss K : " The mamak shop mia EP Koey Tiao darn good !! "

We all -_-" and " What is EP ? Sister of APidah ? "

Miss K lolrotf !!

Miss K :" EP = Extra Pedas !!! "

We all " Ohhhhh !!! Weeeeeee seeeeee !!! "

EP Koey Tiao is so hot and spicy that after you eat, blood comes
out from your 7 holes !!

EP Koey Tiao is so hot and spicy that when you pee after eat
that, petrol came out instead of urine !!

EP Koey Tiao is so hot and spicy that when you fart later,
there would be a small nuclear explosion at your rear.

问你怕没？

The One About Commander !!

In 1994, i was the commander for the prefects marching team.

Today, I am again the commander in the place where I work, but
again it is for today only lolrotf !!

Darn it feels good to be in the position of commander.

Squad ! Ke kanannnnnn .... lurus !!!

( Prappppp.... prapppppp... prappppppppaapappapap.... )

Sounds like cow poo eh ? Gee let me write about my commanding
experience back in the 1994s one day yeah.

Squad ! Keluar baris !!!

The One About Parliament Dissolved

I am sure that by now you would have heard the old man said
that the Parliament is dissolved today yeah !!

Now, go and check your voting information such as which area
that you are being registered under and go and vote !!

Make your vote useful and channel your view right now !

Check the info here, don't travel all the way back to Kuala Krai
and only found out that oppsss you are suppose to vote in
Johor Bharu lolol !!

http://daftarj.spr.gov.my/daftarbi.asp or shortcut here !!

Happy Voting !!

Selamat Mengundi !

* lari

But there is a security and privacy concern here in this
web page, no ??

The One About Google Map and Kuala Krai

After many many months waiting for Google Earth to cover
my hometown Kuala Krai, finally it's here.

But the road names are not up yet : )

From this image ( Tenk kiu google ! ) you could see the train
station of kuala krai, most of taman kuala krai, Sultan Yahya
Petra Secondary School ( just below the compass ), Jalan Chin
Hwa, Jalan Ah Sang, The Market, Hospital, Tasik Krai etc.

My house is also in there !!! Waho ! Waho !!

The One About Coffee And Milo !

Last night we were traveling from Kota Bharu military base to Kuala
Lumpur military base as the Chinese New Year is getting over.

At about 7:45 pm we stopped at Petronas of Gua Musang for a few
cups of coffee, and we thanked the guy from Petronas who prepared
the coffee for everyone,

then suddenly my sister, " Excuse me, ada milo ah ? "

The petronas guy -_-" and replied, " Sorry nah, takda leh ! "

I stared at my sister and shake my head slowly. People already
put advertisement in nationwide TV and Radio to offer you free
coffee ( not bad, the taste despite a 3 in 1 type ) and you go and
ask people if they have Milo or not, hoi !!!

What lah ! Amat mempermalukan !!

The One About Patin !!!!

Was in Kuala Lipis yesterday and stopped for lunch.

Had this nice Patin fish ( 1/2 fish ) and it was darn good.

Of course there were better one that we have eat before
but for RM 36 for 1/2 fish, the price vs taste was ok.

Not bad !

The One About Q Jumper

Now, even smaller town like Kota Bharu has more and more Q jumper.

Is that becoming a trend, lifestyle and culture, i mean Q jumping.

Got to put some mini guns in car and grenades launcher to seek and
destroy these sons of bitches !!