The One about slow shutter and alot of water.

A lot of moving water and a slow shutter will create
this, i heard : )

The left side looks like a white shadow dancing in the
water : )

The One About Butterflies

Butterfly having lunch.

Drinking the sugar water on hibiscus...

The One About Susu

Dr. Foo," Hoi !! 牛 奶 是 给 小 牛 喝 的,  不 是 给 小 孩 喝 的 好 吗?"

My aunty, "  对! 对! 对! 对! 对!"  满 头 大 汗

Out of 100 person of my family, 95 of them kena taruhed by Dr.Foo

before and we just went -_-" and , " You are right doc !! "

Dr. Foo, how are you doing lately.

Happy New Year to you and your family yeah !!

The One about Take Back Take Back !!

There is a term called " Mong Poh "

Mong = some one who is blurred, no direction, always confused.

Poh = female aged between 18 and 80.

Kang = I don't know but Mong + Kang = Mong Kang sounds good.



*******************************

So, Fat Lady has 2 elder sisters and let me tell you that these 2 sisters
are the most creative in terms of creating laughter in the family.

One day, one of the sister went to a friend's Wedding dinner , upon
arriving she proceeded to sign the guest book and pass the Ang Pao
to the receptionist counter / table.

Sister," Errrmmm ? How come so many unknown faces and I don't
see anyone that I know one ? "

Sister then called the Bride, " Harlo ? Ah Lian ? Where are you ?
I don't see you one ? har ? what do you mean you are at the
receptionist counter there ? I am here already what ?
I don't see you one ??? "

Bride, " We are at main entrance here, I don't see you one ? "

Sister, " Wah Liau ! Got 2 entrances ah ? "

Bride, " Yeah yeah ! I think got 2 wedding dinner tonight at
this place ! "

Sister 2 legs in the sky and, " Ok Ok !! Wait wait i come i come!! "

Sister went back to the registration counter / table , " Harlo ! Eh !
I am very sorry yeah, i think i came to the wrong wedding
reception and can I have my ang pao back or not ? "

Receptionist tried not to laugh and said, " Oh ! I see, ok ok !
Please wait and let me find your ang pao, what is your name
again ?"

Sister, " Oh ! Mong Poh Mong Poh ..... "

Receptionist face became extremely red cause it is very
difficult / bad for health to control / suppress laugh,
" There you go "

Sister, " Soli ah Soli ah !! Wrong place wrong place lolol !! "

-_-"

31 years old and I am still seeing strange news everyday.

The One About Transssportmer -_-"

Being a very nice person in the office, Fat Lady always received offers
like movie tickets, F1 tickets, food vouchers, free SPA pass etc and
she always come back and offer me to go with her.

A few days ago, her colleague again offered her some free movie passes.

Friend, " Eh ! You want to watch Transformer 3 or not ? "

Fat Lady, " Oh !! oh !! Yeah yeah !! Sure sure ..... wait a minute... "

Friend, " Why ? Why ? What happened ? "

Fat Lady, " What's the movie name again ? "

Friend, " Transformer 3 loh !! Nah nah !! Ini tickets, bye ! "

Fat Lady took the ticket and looked and 2 legs in the sky!


" Transporter 3 " lah Oiyoh !!


or was it Transsportmer or something like that.

Never mind .....

Fat Lady in the phone, " I thought I have missed Transformer 2
pula -_-" , but I swear I have just watched Transformer 1 with
you recently, or was that Transporter 2 ? Or Transporter 1?"

I said Never mind lok !!!!

The One about Fish Spa !!

I will never allow the fishes at the Fish Spas to violate my
bulu kaki...

My bulu kaki are for my wife and friends ( female friends ) only!

The One About Colours !!!

Back in the golden days of 1990's

Green = Jujur

Blue = Tabah

Red = Setia

Yellow = Yakin

Thanks to Ah Lem for reminding me some of those.

Jujur Rawk !!!! * lari

The One About Why I am not rich III

Today after lunch my fellow sales team people were complaining at me
and they said that I am very annoying.

Me, " why ? "

Them, " Because you always show off that you are rich lah knnbbq "

Me, " where got ? Me ? rich ? Yeah right ! I really wished so! "

Them, " Sometimes when you see your car kena rain water and you
are unhappy, you said you will buy a new car instead of wipe off the
rain. "

Me -_-"

Them, " That day, you didn't remember where you parked your car
and you said.. oh never mind, i can't find my car, let me buy a new one !"

Me -_-""

Them, " And also, that day, you can't find your car keys, you also claimed
that no need to search for the keys, too tiring, you will just buy a new car,
more easier ..... "

Me -_-"""

Them, " Also, that day, you drive drive drive on the road and the petrol
level became quite low, you said you will just abandon the car at road side
and buy a new car, which has petrol !!!!"

Me, " Eh where got ?? "

Them, "Got !! Got a lot of witness !! "

Me, " Joking only mar !!! Joking only !! " and started running away....

Them, " Hoi ! Don't run !! We are so going to slap you !! come back ! "

Me lolol !!!

p/s : I am really really not rich one ok ? See in my garage, all of my 32
Ferraris and Aston Martin already all no petrol, I also never buy new
Aston Martin to drive. But maybe I might need a Porsche Cayenne to
go to lobby and pick up my cloths.

Cause I always buy new cloths when my shirts and pants were not
yet done from ironing from laundry. Sometimes when I eat cookies
the cookies pieces fall on the shirt, i also go buy some new shirt.

Not too good hor...

My team, " HOI !! Mahu mati ah ?"

The One About Why I am not rich

A few weeks ago and it was a friday and I asked my fellow colleague
out for lunch, and i proposed Bak Kut Teh for that.

Ah June asked me, why we want to have Bak Kut Teh on friday.

Me," Nothing lah, just thought of having BKT, can ah ? "

Ah June, " cannot, you must reply us in details and be reasonable !!"

Me, " ok ok ok... you see, back in Kelantan, in 1993 , 1995,
my family is very poor, actually till now we are still very poor....

we only get to eat pork on Friday only, the rest of the weekdays
we didn't get the chance to eat pork...

Sometimes, we don't have pork at all for many days, we only
eat lobsters and sometimes the lobster is very huge and the meat
is a bit old, a bit hard, a little bit chewy you know ?
very difficult to chew....


Also sometimes, we also don't have rice for many days, we had
to go to Victoria Stations, or The ship Restaurant for the steak,
or sometimes when we really poor, we eat the chicken chop and
some mushroom soups only.

There was a time when the economy was no good in, 1997 something,
we didn't take rice for one whole month. We only had shark fin soup
and seafood soups for many many days, mana kenyang like that ?
no white rice....

sometimes, when economy is too bad, we had to leave town and back
to my father's island at South Africa, we stay there and whole month
also can eat 3 head's abalone only. Sometimes when the wind very
strong, we can eat some fresh oyster with lemon only.
No money to buy Tabasco also...

Haih... so, that's why I like to eat Bak Kut teh on friday, cause I
remember the very poor and difficult time last time."

Eh why all my colleague take stick and wood and baseball bat and
chase me?

June:" Hoi ! You don't run !! Come back here !! "

Wah !! Run away fast fast !!!


Is it a crime to be not so rich meh ?? why ?

The One About Why I am not rich II

A few days ago we were reading some car magazines and I
pointed pointed at some nice car photos.

Me, " Hi pa, see this one, Toyota Harrier 3.0 liter engine!"

My father, " What ? Looks like some balak car * "

Me -_-"

Me, " ok ok , how about this one Toyota Alphard 3.0 liter ??
nice ah ? spacious hor ? "

My father, " Looks like Ah Kao who sells pork in his van, youlo
remember Ah Kao, don't you ? His pork very fresh one? "


Me 2 legs in the sky.


Never mind ..... we are not rich anyway......


* Balak = logging.

The One about Wah Pong !!

A few days ago i saw some strange news in the newspaper and
i " Wah Pong ! Like that also can ? "

Fat lady, " What is Wah Pong ? "

Me, " Wah Pong is the brother of Wah Piang,

Wah Piang is the sister of Wah Peng,

Wah Peng is the cousin of Wah Liew,

Wah Liew is the family doctor of Wah Lau,

Wah Lau is the neigbour of Wah Lan,

Wah Lan is the Local Area Network (LAN) Wah Fi,

Wah Fi is the sister of Wah Fah ...... "

Fat Lady, " Wah Miang ...... "

-_-"

The One About Military Training

A team of Soldier were having survivor training in Singapore forest
and they haven't got the chance to take bath for 2 weeks already,
and everyone feels their underwear is full of oil, grease and stain
already.

3rd week the Sargent came with a huge bag and announced
" Good news ! You all can change underwear already today !! "

The soldiers were so happy and some cried with happy tears.




Then the Sargent said, " Now, Ali , you change with Ah beng !"

" Ah Beng, yours give to Muthu ! "

" Muthu, yours give to Ali !"

Buahhahahahahahha..... their wishes came true !!!

The One About Love, Caring and Kasih Sayang !!

* Warning !! Do Not Apply This Imagination Pieces to real Life !! *
***************************************************************


A few days ago a friend of mine was complaining to me that one of
her family members is very nasty, acting cocky and obviously doesn't
respect the seniors etc.

And they mumbled for the whole night and asked me what solutions
that I have. Being the wisdom one in the group the ladies came and
consult me.

Them, " What should we do ? We ran out of ideas already !! "

Me, " God told us to have Love ! Be Caring !! Ada Kasih Sayang !!!!"

Them, " But how ? Can you be more specific please? "

Me, " That is so simple, but never mind, learn step by step yeah !! "

Them with tears in their eyes,
" ok ok ! Please enlighten us ! Pls teach us !! We Appreciate that!"

Me, " When you see the person , you slap her twice on the face so hard
that her unborn children will come out well educated !! "

" Then you tie her to using duck tape to the chair and put my socks
into her mouth !!! And then use the 1,000,000 lumen spot light and
beam on her face and ask,
" Do you feel lucky ? Punk ?" hmmm ?? Hmmm ?? "

The girls protested,
" Where got use Love, Caring and Kasih Sayang like that ?"

Me, " Oh ! My left palm is called Love, and right palm is called Caring,
and my socks brand is Kasih Sayang brand, boleh ah ? all used what? "

They 2 legs in the sky but at the same time they answer, " Yeah loh hor!"

Me claps hand and walk slowly into sun set.....

The One About Rainy Langkawi

We stayed 3 days 2 night in Langkawi and out of 3 days, 2 days were
raining, the sky was gray and dark.

Suddenly the feeling of 1995 came back -_-"

Yeah 1995, just after the SPM, Kelantan was having Monsoon rain,
and it rained and rained and rained.

We had no direction back then, STPM ? College ? Study in KL ? Study
in US ?? Parents were busy working and no one was around.

Conclusion of 1995 rainy season = Lost + Blur !!

Basically, rainy days remind me of all these, even in Langkawi.

Hence I decided to drive and drive and drive. From Kuah to
Tanjung Rhu and then back to Telaga Habor and it was really
like in Kelantan.

Trunk road, heavy rain, slippery road surface, village , trees.

2008 could be very similar to 1995 sometimes.....

The One About RM 180 for 3 days

We rented this Black Nissan Sentra 1.6 Auto ( Basic ) for RM 180
for 3 days 2 night ( fuel not included ).

Hence the first thing we did was to rush to pump fuel for this
bebeh !!!

It's good to visit Langkawi during Super Low Season !!

We went to Kuah town cause I used to think that place was
happening. But OMGBBQ !!! It was more like a ghost town
according to someone.

A lot of restaurant door wide open, brightly lit and only 1
table with people, and those people were the cook and the
shop owner !!!

The One About Trees !!

See ? The whole hotel and resort was built within the
thick forest and the preservation of the trees were
quite good.

Trees were everywhere and I enjoyed to the max, sometimes
i wonder, my past life, I think I was a Gorilla or something.

Darn Green eh !!

The One About Over Slept

Because of the constant raining in Langkawi, I had some really good
rest and slept for non stop in Langkawi , and the hotel room was
surrounded by huge trees and the raindrops sound was non stop.

Woke up at 10 am and darn , missed the hotel breakfast !!!

So we went to Telaga Harbor for breakfast .

RM 60 for everyhting, the best Macaroni and Cheese that I have ever
tried !! RM 15 for the Macaroni, a must try !

And the view, nice !!!

The One About Cicak Besar !!

At the hotel that we stayed in Langkawi, it was within the forest
and we were surrounded by a thick layer of rain forest trees.

When we went out for dinner first night....

Fat Lady, " Wow ! Tengok ! Cicak yang teramat besar !"

Me without looking, " Eh ! That one is called decoration lah !"

Fat Lady, " But ! Its moving woh ! "

Me , " Huh ?? Walauwei ! Cicak Gergasi !! "

* ran away fast fast, i mean both the cicak and us ran away fast fast.

There were actually 2 of these lizards which stayed at the wood
beam to eat the insects around the lights.

Decoration ? Decoration my food lah !! Fat Lady said....

The One About Langkawi View

Langkawi, i was there 2 weeks ago and out of 3 days there
2 days was raining occasionally ala cats and dogs -_-".

However, I had some really good rest there and appreciated
the good air, nice scenery and good air there.

And boy !! Cows and buffalo are everywhere !!!

The One About Can't Notice -_-"

Today in the office I was talking to a colleague and she
asked me back, " Are you talking to me ? "

Me -_-" yes of course lah ! Yorrrr !!!

She, " Sorry Kai Hong cause your eyes are so small that
I can't notice if you are looking at me or not "

Another colleague joint and said, " Yeah yeah !! Kai Hong you
please don't smile yeah, if you smile, your eyes even more
smaller, we call that total goner !! "

Me, " Hoi !! "

Them both , " But you are still very cute anyway "

Me -_-""