Tuesday, January 15, 2008

The One About Many Many Certificates.

In our daily lives there are all sorts of certificate, qualification,
examination, piano knowledge etc, some Diploma cert, MBA
certs and stuff like that.

Hence, today one of my sales team member called and asked
me, " Hello Mr Wong !! "

Me, " Yes , how may I help you ? "

Staff, " Today I did very wall in the task that you wanted me
to do leh ! "

Me, " Izzit ? How about the previous few weeks when you do
not did well in the task ? "

Staff, " Never mind lah, today did well ok already mar, right ? "

Me -_-"

Staff, " So, what would you reward me zheek ? What is my reward
zhek ? "

Me -__-"

Staff, " How leh ! How leh ?? What is my rewards lehhhhhhh ? "

Me, " Ok can, you come back to office tomorrow, I might have
something really nice for you. "

Staff, " Waho !! Waho !! So good ah you ? What are those ? "

Me, " Wait , let me see yeah, hmmm, ohhhh !! We have some
cert and letter for you if you want ! We have hmm, show cause
letter, we have warning letter, we also have "you are fired" letter
and some VSS ( volunteer separation scheme ) and demotion
letter. Hmmmm... let me see, which one that you prefer ? "

Staff, " eerrrr.... "

Me, " Tell me which one that you want ? I can put your name
there first using laser printer first, you just thumb print and
sign, then i can frame it up for you nicely liao !! Come come !! "

Staff, " eerrr.... eh I sikap, need to go toilet bye ! " hang up...

Me, " wei wei ?? hello hello ?? ... so fast lari meh ? "

So what do you want ? Diploma ? Degree ? MBA ??

Semua pon ada !! Semua ada !!!!

* lari !

The One About Some Good Tea in Hotel of JB

Don't know if it is aging problems, that I now prefer
to drink a lot of tea no matter where am I.

Hence when I checked into the Nice hotel of JB I
naturally boiled the water and cooked myself 2 cups of
nice , well, not bad mia tea.



To be able to work and drink tea in a hotel while looking at the
windows at Johor Straits is not that bad, right ?

It is not the CMOS or Sensor dirt on the below image or photo,
because the windows of the hotel were dusty. If not it would be
even nicer , haih !!

The One About Some Good Hotel of JB



Was staying in a very nice hotel in Johor Bharu a
few weeks ago, they had this complimentary fruits plate
for the guests and I was delighted that they had this.

Hence I placed that in the fridge and plan to eat them
after I finished my job in JB.

Mana tahu I totally forgotten about the fruits after
that and I think the fruits are now still in the mini
fridge and might be, might be brewing into fruits wine.

Good, next time I go there I have free fruit wines made
by myself, what could be better then that eh ??

* Shake leg to show happiness, cause no tail.

The One About Have You Ever Seen The Snow ?

Fat Lady sent me an SMS from China just now and
told me that :" OMG ! It's snowing ! oh snowing !!
SNOWING !!! All white white one very beaufiful "

And, " Wow ! Now talking got smoke come out one !!
Got smoke come out one !! lolrtof !!!! "

Me -_-"

She, " But freeze like hell here leh ! "

lolol !!

Hence told her, " Why don't you try to pee on
the snow and see if it will become Ice Cream or not ?
See pee got smoke or not ? "

She replied with " &&!^^$^&#^^!%%%%%&#*&*((*&^^#$ "

lolrotf !!

I have not seen snow before, but I could imagine
that a little bit, by putting my head into my
house fridge.

Have you ever seen the snow ?

I know I would, next year, Kon Ming !!

That is my plan and my Mission.

Lock and load ! And would fire at will and we
shall see how does Pee Ice Cream look like.

If there is no one around, I might even try
to do cirit birit ice cream on ice ?? "

Now that's cool !!

* jogging away slowly.....

Saturday, January 12, 2008

The One About Cinderella Man

Cinderella Man

Just go watch it, with your heart, alone.

The One About The Result of Without ISO Certification

Now in manufacturing or OEMing or any production related
industry, we realize that it is important to have an ISO standard
or at least some SOP and stuff like that.

What happens if there are 4 person with different ages, sexes,
background, experience started manufacturing with the command
of " Fire At Will ? "

The photo below is self explainary and the 汤圆 made by these
friends of mine came in different sizes. Some size like mercury
planet, somes like Pluto, some like Mars, some Neptune, some as
small as comet and some as big as the Sun !!!



Now ! Kenapa boleh jadi begini ?

Back ground narrator, " Cause there wasn't an ISO : 9084018 !!! "

that's why !!

By the way if anyone could crack that, you are the worm in my
stomach and I would personally cook 汤圆 for you next year !

The One About Air Command 1

The correct sentence would be, " Flight attendance, please arm doors and
cross check ! thank you."

After so many time I finally could catch what does the captain or flight
crew of an aircraft says before take off.

By the way, flying in Airbus A330 is very much comfortable then the Aging
Boeing 737 which is ..... very old !!!

The One About Chinese New Year Approaching !



When you see this photo, you know that Chinese New Year is
coming as we started to munch the good Julies Chocolates Egg
Rolls liao !!

I know the photos presentation is like shitz but,
man this taste so good !!!

Fat Lady with 1 stick in her mouth like Arnold biting cigar,
" What are you looking at , boy ? "
and munch munch munch..... -_-"

I think she watched too many Arnies movies lately....

And she starts to go to Gym too -_-"

The One About Kuching's Chili

Touched down at Kuching airport yesterday and my colleague brought
me to one of the "good" kolokmee around the town.

And the chili they served is as per the photo.

I know that the chilis are expensive nowdays, but , but , but Kiam Siap
till this extend meh ??? 2 legs in the sky !!

I ended up give back the chilies to the stall owner and asked for 20 cents
rebate cause I didn't touch his knnbbq chilies !!

Did he give me 20 cents back ? Take a wild guess !!

Friday, January 11, 2008

The One About 1 Digital camera per person.

DC = Digital Camera

The price of Digital camera has dropped to as cheap as RM 300
plus plus. Amazing yeah ! Even primary students have DC in
their hands nowaday wherever they go -_-"

Same applies for adult, each family has a few DC and sometimes
in some family dinner or party, the scenario would be 3 person
sitting at the table while 20 person holding 20 DC at the other
side and started taking their photos.

Flash flash flash flash flash flash and flash !!!!!!!

The 3 person became temporary blinded by the flash, and their
smile frozen and face cramped cause had to smile or pretended
to smile for a long long time -_-"

Result ?

Extremely bad !

Cause when taking photos, it is not a good thing to have too many
DC around as the object or subject might not know which DC to
look at / into and resulting most of the time, the photo came out
that a group photos, 5 pairs of eyes are watching different angle
cause there were more then 5 DC taking their photos.

And I don't like that at all !!!!!

The One About 29 cents.

Did you know nowadays it is as cheap as Rm 0.29 is all you
needed to develop or should I say print your digital photos?

Minimum quantity is 100 pieces and this price is all over
Berjaya Time Square, it used to be Rm 0.60 or RM 0.70
a few months back in PJ area.

Now, Rm 0.29 !!!!

So, what are you waiting for ? Go and print those 20 GB
of your photos in your hard disk lah wei !

Those uncles and ah pek they all kept on complaining that
since we ( the youngster ) started using Digial Camera, they
didn't get to see any photos after every event already.

Cause all the photos were in the computer and we really took
that for granted.

Go ! Print some photos of your family, relatives, grandma and
show them the good time you all had to gather.

The One About 34 Karats Diamond ! -_-"

Today was with Fat Lady at Berjaya Time Square to do some
shopping and to spend some monies away.

Stopped at an famous Diamond shop and the shop lady came
and greeted us, and she pointed pointed at some Diamonds
and said, " 三 十 四 卡 拉 的 Diamond " in Cantonese, and the
pronunciation was " Sah Ah Sei Karat geh Diamond ! "

Fat Lady and me eyes big big looking at each other.

This sales lady thought that we were some Rich Middle East
oil company CEO or Boss ah ??

I asked her again, " I beg your pardon ? 34 karats ah ? "

Fat Lady eyes still big big with white foams at her mouth.

The sales lady, " Yes, Sah Ah Frikat come one ! You know ?"

Me and Fat Lady, " Oh ! South Africa, right ? "

Sales lady, " Yes Sah Ah Frikat , Sah Ah Frikat !!! "

Me , " Thank you, thank you, but no thanks yeah !"

Me and Fat Lady ran away fast fast ......

You know how much is an 1 karat cost, let alone 34 karat ?

I mean Sah Ah Frikat, errr, Sah Ah Sei Karat, arrrgggghhhh !!!

Sah Ah Sei Karat !! -_-"

Boy i am confused now !.

Tuesday, January 08, 2008

The One About Baked Beans

Did you know when one eats a lot of baked beans, he could produce
some very smelly fart ? I mean really really smelly one !!!

* jogging away.

The One About International Lutting Day

I told my supervisor just now today is International Lutting
Day ( 国 际 屌 人 日 ) where means Lut, not KKC.

Lut is being defined as, taruh, hentam, kasi kao kao, fart, abuse,
screw, polish etc.

When you see your little brother, being very lazy, after come back
from school, and doesn't want to do his homework.

You point at him and you LUT him. " &!%^&^#^$^&^(!&^^^#^
and go do your home work now ! "

When your phone like from Telekom is down and your stramyx is
down for more then 2 weeks, and the support centre are still trying
to escalate the problems to "pihak atasan" you LUT them!

When your operation coordinator from New Dehli ignore your email
and doesn't follow your instruction, you LUT them !!

When your shitting bank credit card conversion takes more then 1
month, and no reply nor updates from them, you call the Direct
Card Sales person and you LUT them !!!

Damn ! I need more people to LUT now, you all don't run away !!

Come back !!

* kejar ....

Monday, January 07, 2008

The One About Eagle and Chick.

Was at Pudu plaza yesterday while awaiting for Fat Lady.

Walked into the supermarket at the ground floor of the place
and saw a bunch of people surrounding a staff working there.

I told myself, this must be staff who is in charge of Cooking Oil
section and walked nearer.

I was correct !!!

The poor staff was opening a carton box of cooking oil and before
he could put the oil on the rack, the bottles of cooking oil
were grabbed from the boxes from him by the crowds.

Some old grandma grabbed 2 big bottles and ran to counter with
a big smile old her face -_-"

An middle age age uncle procured the cooking oils by putting multiple
bottles of it into another bigger box, hence "sapu"ed all the remaining
oil.

Some aunties who came later found that all the oil were gone has
gone into amok and search for high and low, and found that there are
2 more boxes of unopened one and quickly destroyed the box and
got the bottles of oil from the inside.

This is better then watching National Geographic !! More bloodier ,
more action, more close up and you could feel the urge to kill
especially when those aunties found that the oils are almost finished.

The staff -_-" and sighed !!!

Me crossed my arms and looked from 5 steps behind, and I smiled.

This reminded me of some eagles attacking some small little helpless
chicks. Only that these eagles are middle aged aunties and some
uncle.

What do you all need so much of cooking oil for ? ?

Drinking ah ? Aiseh !

* jogging away....

Sunday, January 06, 2008

The One About "Hoi!"

One and off there are people calling moi old man or to be
more precise "very matured" man. I don't blame you all
cause by the look, I am quite matured, which the benefit of
it is debatable. lolol.

As a man grows older, he get wiser, gain more life experience,
gain more wisdom (cheh) , learn more road of cities and seldom
get lost in KL and PJ lol !!

As a man grows older, he learns that that in life, there are time
for:
  • work
  • play
  • family
  • friend
  • enjoy and get caught with pants down be responsible

    In fact there are time for everything and working is not everything
    and Pak Tor is also not everything, right ?

    Damn ! The Sunday class ends here today, have a good day and
    this advertisement is brought to you by moi !!

    Follow these rules and I think it will do !!

    Men are like VSOP, the older they are, the better it taste.

    Women are like .... hmmm... I will write about that 20 years later
    when I learn more ok ?

    * lari !!!
  • The One About USB storage killing WORM

    Was in the optical storage media industry about 6 years before
    going to current job.

    One of the task last time was to identify the challenge that we
    might be facing soon and I told them one of the possible killer
    for CDR, CDRW , DVDR and DVDRW could be USB solid state
    storage like pen drive, thumb drive and whatever we call them.

    They pointed at my nose and said, " No lah ! No way this could
    happen ! "

    But today when I looked at my DVD writter and even DVD
    ROM drive I realized that it is happening and it is happening
    steadily without us knowing that.

    My DVD rom drive hasn't been opened for like 5 or 6 months,
    and I also can't remember when was the last time I burn a
    DVD-R , but on and off CD-R still have yeah.

    It seems like today my 4GB and 2GB usb drive have been
    really useful , big files thrown to 4GB one and smaller 2GB
    one. some excel and word files ? use the 1GB one yeah!

    The piles of CD-R and DVD-R are left at the corner and
    becoming nest of spiders, and playing ground for ants and
    small insects.

    Viva USB solid drive !!

    WORM = Write once Read Many (time) storage like CD-R
    and DVD-/+R

    CD-RW and DVD-RW/+RW could be written and erased
    multiple time, but could you remember how many time
    that you have actually erased and RW media ?

    USB solid drive is the man !

    * slowly run away....

    The One About Mac Lap Top



    Hence I opened the new lap top and boot it up! This McBook
    is so new and caused me not too much of money tough.

    With me was my old friend Siong Ping from TAR college and
    my ex house mate, this guy studied business computering and
    was one of the earliest guy of us to have purchased a PC.
    He had an IBM branded PC of Pentium 166 Mhz ( rm5,000 )
    plus that time.

    Waho ! After 20 years, finally I am getting my hands on an Mac!
    I remember in the 80s my aunt in Kuala Krai they all had a Mac
    computer in office and it was like RM 12,000 something yeah!

    Anyway, fast forward to current !!
    Really fast boot up compared to Windows XP and Vista, in seconds
    only and the OS was loaded and ready to be used.

    And i was setting up the wireless thing, eh ? How come the icon of
    the wireless thing was exactly like Windows XP mia har ?
    And the Microsoft Word inside ? Excel ? Menu everything and
    even the OS also 100% the same.

    I looked at my friend Siong Ping and he shrugged.

    Me looked at the manual and cursing wtf , but in the heart that I
    felt good cause the operation and everything was the same with
    Windows.......

    And I woke up suddenly, whew !!

    Walked to my PC and kissed kissed my LCD and said hello to
    my CPU with Windows OS inside.

    Just a dream, not a wet one!

    But in sounded so real and everything cause whenever i encounter
    a new PC or Lap Top, the first thing is to enable the Wifi or Airport
    things, and that was what I did in the dream -_-"

    Sorry har, i think i am still with Microsoft at the moment !

    * run away

    Thursday, January 03, 2008

    The One About The Grand Coming Back.

    Today I feel darn happy and glad cause something that has left
    me for more then 10 years has suddenly came back.

    You would surely agree and appreciate it too if you have
    spent the past 10 years searching all the shop in Malaysia
    and trying to look for an replacement, but no result.

    The album was destroyed in a fire and now it is back and it
    sounds like below ..... sweet !!

    I am going to get the CD really really soon liao !! Waho!

    滄海一聲笑......
    白雲俏,艷陽照,襯我逍遙調;
    自由是我,心裡只記,今朝的歡笑。

    開心的感覺,傾心的快樂,今天開了心竅。

    落霞如血,紅日如醉,我抱擁奇妙。
    浮塵隨浪,只記,今朝的歡笑。

    熱情和唱,縱情傲嘯,看透江湖玄妙。
    自由來去,不盡逍遙,瀟灑得不得了。

    笑面向,滔滔啊,他朝有誰能料?
    浮塵隨浪,只記,今朝的歡笑。
    開心的感覺,傾心的快樂,今天開了心竅。

    滄海一聲笑......
    白雲俏,艷陽照,襯我逍遙調;
    自由是我,心裡只記,今朝的歡笑。
    瀟灑得不得了...瀟灑得不得了...
    瀟灑得不得了...瀟灑得不得了...

    Wednesday, January 02, 2008

    The One About Mellows.

    张国荣《风继续吹》

    我劝你早点归去, 你说你不想归去
    只叫我抱着你
    悠悠海风, 轻轻吹冷却了野火堆

    我看见伤心的你, 你叫我怎舍得去
    哭态也绝美
    如何止哭, 只得轻吻你发边让风继续吹

    不忍远离
    心里极渴望 希望留下伴着你
    风继续吹, 不忍远离
    心里极渴望希望留下伴着你
    心里亦有泪不愿流泪望着你

    过去多少快乐记忆, 何妨与你一起去追
    要将忧郁苦痛洗去, 柔情蜜意我愿记取

    要强忍离情泪, 未许它向下垂
    愁如锁眉头聚, 别离泪始终要下垂

    我已令你快乐, 你也令我痴痴醉
    你已在我心, 不必再问记着谁
    留住眼里每滴泪, 为何仍断续流默默垂
    为何仍断续流默默垂

    why is it everytime I heard this song, I would become
    helplessly mellow ?

    And my staff, " Mr Wong , listening to oldiest again ah?"

    Me," Hoi ! This one is a classic "

    my staff, " You mean classical songs, like Beethoven ?
    Bach ? Tchaikovsky ?? "

    Me throw shoe(s) at them.....