The One About Operation Desert No Storm !!!

Was using C-130 most of the time recently and on and off I do use the General's
new YF 35 as it is smaller and could move in and out from Operation easier.

The other day was about to take off and checked checked Instrument Panel....

Outside temperature was 40 Degree Celsius leh !!  -_-"

The One about C-130 is huge !!!!

Hercules C-130 has been serving me and family for almost 2 years. Been thru
many mission and done a lot of hours with this Hercules.... primary was for
passenger transportation operation and rarely was there an action operation.

Went back to Kelantan a few weeks ago, can you imagine that we managed to
put all these 15 items + 4 adults and 1 baby into my Hercules C-130 ? On the
way back the co Pilot reported that " smell of fuel leak " detected in the air -_-"

It was already 4 hours from Kota Bharu and it was too far to turn back for
emergency landing, and PJ Hanger was like 2 to 3 hours away. I checked
checked the fuel level was ok, engine temperature was also ok. Was about
to look for a place to stop and do a 100% check.





My mom:" No worries !! Don't panic, the cause of the smell came from the 
frozen Durians, long flight like this, sure got some gas movement eh ? "



Co-Pilot -_-"

Darn ! I love my C-130 and my mom very much !!

The One About Really Old Town

The older part of Johor Bharu town.
This is so like the place where i spent my childhood years : )

The One About Budget Airlines

Was flying back to Kota Bharu last week with my team member on official
matters. Took a budget airliner from Subang airport to Kota Bharu and it
was the ATR 72-500 Kipas Aircraft, i told my team member.

While boarding the plane, my team member Mr. Lee started to ask question...

Lee, " Oi Oi !! Did you see the size of the tyres of this plane ? It is smaller than
my car tayar lah dude !! "

Me, " Shaddap lah ! You driving bulldozer meh ? "

Lee, " But the tyres size really si peh small leh !! "

Me -_-"

While taking off,  Mr. Lee, " What happened if the kipas tercabut ? "

Me, " Well ! This type of aircraft could glide for a longer distance compared
to jet aircraft...jet aircraft drops faster while propeller aircraft could glide 
really far, hence we are quite safe ! no worries...  "

Mr Lee, " Did you know, if we were killed in air crash, we will each get USD2
million insurance coverage ? our family terus become rich folks.. heheheh... "

Me, " Can we please talk about something else ? "

Mr Lee, " Wah ! The air stewardess very beautiful , very young !! "

Me, " Now we are talking.... where ? where ??  "

Sometimes it is fun to travel with folks that ask a lot of question or has high level
of curiosity...

The One About 智慧牙

话说到 有一天,  有个吉隆坡的有钱佬去了外国鬼混.

骗老婆说外国去公干三个月.

结果三个月很快过去了要回吉隆坡了.

外国女朋友伊娃鬼叫, 万般舍不得.

有钱佬看了好心疼, 但非回国不可.....

女朋友说:" 你人走了那我怎么办??" 又伊娃鬼叫....

有钱佬说 : "那我给你20万美金, 作纪念好吗? Sayang? "

女朋友破涕而笑 , 赶紧说: " 谢谢...sayang...老板 !!"

女朋友还是依依不舍, 又想要一些纪念品.

便叫有钱佬留下智慧牙, 以便纪念纪念.

有钱佬面有难色, 女朋友又伊娃大哭了 -_-"....

" 好啦 !!!好啦!!! " 便大力把智慧牙拔下.

哇妈 !!! 这回可痛死有钱佬了.

女朋友得了智慧牙便很开心.

跑回去房间要把智慧牙放好.

有钱佬跟着回房 看到女朋友打开抽屉

一看抽屉里面 竟然有 200 多颗别人的智慧牙 -_-"

祝天下有钱佬鬼混快乐!!!! he he he he....

The One About Really Long Vacation

Looked back at the last post which was done on 4th June 2011.
and it is already 27th Nov 2011, almost didn't update this blog
for 6 months already.

Took a really long vacation from blogging and was busy with many
many other things like working ( really hard ) and spent time learning
doing more house chores.

Well, i am back for the time being and while i am around, let's start to
tell some funny story , again....

炒冷饭ok？

The One about The Need For Speed !!!

Wanted to download some updates for the Ipad, connected my Maxis Broadband
and started download.

Darn syiok to see download speed @ 750KB/sec.... haaahhh.... good ah !!

Happy Holiday !!!

The One About Another Gas Leak

Just now Fat Lady was running here and there in the room, sniff sniff and
running around and sniff sniff again.

Me -_-"

Fat Lady, " Eh ! Did you smell that ? The cooking gas smell ? "

Me, " Err.. got meh ? "

Fat Lady sniff sniff again, " Yeah, got woh ! Cooking gas leaking ??"

Me, " Err actually just now my book fall on the floor ... "

Fat Lady, " Your book fall on the floor ? Book got gas smell one ?"

Me, " No, cause the book fall on the floor, i had bend down and pick
it up, and during the process some gas accidently ter- releasese !!! "

Fat Lady -________________-" U**#&%Y&@&%#*$#(&@#&#$

Me, " Old already, bend a bit then can't control the back.. sorry !"

Fa Lady, " Choi  Choi ! I still go and sniff here sniff there somemore!"

Me, " Soli Chapati !! Accident lok..."

The One About It Is Monday Today Lah !!!

Was having an early conference call with some regional folks a moment ago.
At the end of the call i tried to be polite and said :" Guys ! Thanks for your
time and have a great weekend ! "

They:" ........... "

I then put down the phone happily cause i read a book and the book asked
us to be polite and nice to co-workers. And I just did that !! Clever ya ??


And 2 seconds later, " Fuyolamak !! Today is Monday lah ! And i just wished
the whole region guys Have A Good Weekend ? "

This year, i think there is salary increament already .... loh !!!

Yeah, have a nice weekend lah !!

The One About 蔡琴演唱会 Part II

我问： "外婆，您觉得蔡琴 和蔡依林的演唱会有
什么不同的地方 ?? "

外婆："音乐不同 "

我 :" 错  !!!"

外婆有点不甘愿：" 那你说 !!　两者有什么不同??"

我:"　蔡依林的演唱会一眼望过去有 5,000 支荧光棒和五个老歌迷!!

but 蔡琴的演唱会一眼望过去 共有 5 支荧光棒和五万个老歌迷!!!"


笑到外婆差点从椅子上跌下来 ... ...:
:" 问我 那你干嘛又去听蔡琴的演唱会 lek ?? "

我 :" Well... you know...有口味的人都会听蔡琴演唱会的 !!"

这次是外婆, 笑到假牙从口里掉出来 !!!!

The One About 蔡琴演唱会

刚才陪老妈子, 去了云顶听蔡琴演唱会
棒极了（笑我老吧） never mind !!

过后我打算自己驾车下山，老妈和外婆等人
听完演唱会, 还要打老虎,  ((本人不杀生))

老妈: " 小心驾车 !!"

我: " Affirmative !! 是的 !!"

老妈: " 晚上驾车, 慢点!! "

我:" Rodger that, 是的 !!"

老妈: " 如果雾大 ....那跟前面车的车灯 !! "

我: "  酱如果我前面的车翻车下山.... 
我马不是跟它下埋山 lohhhh？"

老妈 -______________-"

:" 看老娘的正宗佛山无影脚 卡擦!!!!"


结果是我飞下山......chikipabowww !!!  

The One About The Smart Guy

Was with Marko my friend yesterday and he was cooking Spaghetti for me and his
girl friend. It was really nice and taste like the Pro.

So i decided to say something nice to thank him.

Me, " Hei Marko, you really can cook nice and tastely Spaghetti ya ? "

Marko, " Thank you,  you got taste , man .. "

Me -_-" I compliment him, he also able to double compliment himself....

-_________-"

*******

Before the lunch we went swimming at 1 pm in an open swimming pool. And Marko
looked like the Lobster after that when having Spaghetti.....

Marko, " You don't get sun burnt meh ? Adoiii !! So painful now ! "

Me, " errr... no, i don't feel anything woh.. " and was so proud !

Marko, " You know maybe your skin very thick, so no feeling, my skin very
thin, so fast alrready painful .... "

Me, " Yeah right !! " and went home happily.

This morning, me, " Oh ! Darn Marko, i also get sun burnt lah !! "

Marko, " Oh great, not only me, you also get ya ? Baru fair like this, and now i
cannot wear my shirt, very painful !!  Have to work naked, and make the gf
very horny !! "

Me lmaozhedong !!!

The One About Ah Chuah

刚才老蔡喝茶时跟我们说他的的太太怀孕了，六个月，
什么都想吃，什么都想喝....

前几天, 老蔡的太太突然跟老蔡说:
" Dear 老公 .... 我想吃龙珠饼.... 可以吗?? "

老蔡是出名疼老婆的,  便二话不说, 开车四个小时 terus
到槟城去买了三盒最出名的龙珠饼, 然后 terus
再开车回来吉隆坡.

累到半死, 把饼交给老婆时.

老婆: " 你做莫去槟城买哦 ???? 我那天看到 SS2也是有卖，
人家是想吃SS2 的那间啦... yorrr !! "

老蔡 -________________-" 然后 .....

笑死我们...

羡慕死同座的未婚女孩.....

气死老蔡....

The One About Pepper Spray !!

Yesterday in lunch was talking to some close co worker and was talking
about people getting rob nowadays.

David: " Yew ! What is it so scared ? We use pepper spray lah !! "

Me : " Huh ? Pepper spray ? "

David: " Yeap ! Like some country police force use this, can temporary
blind the bad guys while it will not kill him ! "

Me think think & laughed : " ha ha ha ha ha ha !!! "

David abit dulan: " Mr Wong why you laught at me ? "

Me : " No lah ... no lah.... "

David lagi beh song : " Mr Wong , tell me !! tell me !!!! "

Me :"  I was thinking that .... when you aim the pepper spray
at the bad guys... you press and .... hahahahh .... !!! "

David epic beh song :" And then what ???? "

Me:" ......the wind changes direction and the pepper spray goes
into your own eyes... and i imagine you squat down rubbing your eyes
and shouting " ADOOOOOOIIII !"
hence i mar laughed... lorrrr "


David lmaozhedong !! " Wahahahahhaah stupid Kai Hong !!! "


Me : " Pepper spray doesn't spray out pepper ( for cooking ) , it
actually is a mix of gas with chemical stuff which really upset
one's eyes and throat and everything...

Do Not Use Pepper Spray to add flavour to your food too !!"

David; " You stupid Chicken Mr Wong !!!! We also watch
Discovery Channel one also ya !  "


Me, " Err... black pepper chicken ?  hahahahahah !! "

阿弟的故事

前几天, 阿弟垂头丧气在家看电视.

我问:"  喂 !! 弟 !! 发生什么事?? "

阿弟回答 :"  今天真气死人 !!! 我帮了人家, 还被人家打了两巴掌!!"

我问:"  哇搞什么鬼 ???  跟我说 !!!! 我帮你报仇 !!! "

阿弟:"  今天, 我搭巴士下 KL 买电脑,  然后在巴士上看到一个肥妹,
在巴士里玩 Ipad, 结果我就被 kam 了两巴掌 !!"

我问: " 那.....你做了什么帮人的事 ?? "

阿弟: " 因为那肥妹没位子坐, 站着,  我要让她位子, 又不敢, 怕她
误会我觉得她怀孕,  那就惨了 loh !!!! "

我 : " 对 !对!! 对!!! "

阿弟: " 那肥妹站着时,  她的短裙被她的屁股夹着,  看来很怪不舒服的.. "

我 -__-"

阿弟: "  结果..... 我就帮她把裙拉出来 lah !! 没那么不舒服嘛.... !!"
 mana tahu  她反过身来赏我一巴掌啦 !! shit ! "

我 -_- " :" 你又说你给人两巴掌 ??? "

阿弟: " 对呀 !!! 她打了我一巴掌..... 我便很害怕啦 ....急忙把她的裙塞
回去原来的样子啦 !!!!  结果便中多一巴掌啦 !!! "

我 Chikipabooooowwwww !!!!



 

The One About Oh Pakcik !! Pakcik !!

Was driving the good old Hercules C-130 near Ampang area yesterday and
was cruising smoothly and the temperature was hot and warm. A bit of heavy
traffic and the side wind was mild.

And a moment later there was this Pakcik behind me flashed flashed me with
his high beam -_-"

I looked via mirror, " wow ! Pakcik with whole family in his car... "

Me, " Er... perhaps I cruised too slow.. " increase air speed a bit. Didn't want
to block people with big old fat C-130...

10 second later Pakcik got closer to me and gave me 2 more time of
high beam.

Me -___-" and changed lane from Fast Lane to Middle Lane.


Pakcik also changed lane to Middle Lane and flash flash again
-______-" I was thinking, was this Pakcik going to make me stop,
rob me, punch me at kkc ( very painful ) and take my naked photos
and put in facebook ? I don't know Karate one... cham liao this time!


I almost started to get a little bit annoyed and excited and did the evasive
maneuvering to shake him off.

And I saw my instrument panel " lights on "  Oh !!! OK !!! and I smile :)

Was in basement car park before that and must have forgotten to switch off
the landing lights .... hehehehehe.... and the nice Pakcik was trying to remind
me to turn of the lights cause it was like 12 pm in the noon ..... and Pakcik
was a consistent person too...

Terima Kasih Pakcik ! Semoga Pakcik dan Sekeluarga Sihat Selalu.
Anak , cucu , cicit dan saudara mara semua pun Sihat ya :)


There is a saying in my country, if within 5 minutes, 4 girls grin at you,
don't be so proud and get the wrong idea and think you are hot....

Check your darn zipper.....

The One About Seremban -________________-"

Was driving along Seremban and it showed the external temperature " 44 celcius "


-_______________-"



zomg.......

The One About You Think You Can Park Like Me Meh ??

There was this guy in my office who think that he could park his car like i did
(leaving 3 mm of space) only for the ants to move.

The result ? Super Epic Hamplang Long Zhong Sama Kaliao Fail of 2011 !!

Some paint transfer is unavoidable in this scenario !!

The One About Non C130 Hercules

The other day was going out for dinner with Ah Cat and Ah Lian. I was driving
Ah Cat's car and left my C-130 Hercules at home.

While waiting for the traffic lights we were chatting and discussing about the
features and functions in the cabin.

Me, " Your steering could be adjusted to a higher position so that you can see
the instrument panel more clearly.. " and adjust adjust the steering height.

Ah Cat, " Oi Oi ! don't disturb my settings !! "

And suddenly the engine stalled and went dead... and the traffic light turned
green ... -_-" geeee... great timing !!!

Ah Cat, " ZOMG KNNBBQ ! This is so embarrassing !!!"

Me, " No worries !" and put on the hazard / emergency signal lights...

Ah Cat , " Oh no !! My reputation !! " covered covered face .....

Me, " This is Damansara, people recognize my C-130 hercules and will not 

know that I am stuck in this Twin Otter with stalled engine, hence i don't have

to cover my face and i will be brave ... restart darn it !! restart !!!! ... "

Engine didn't response like the Twin Otter without battery and fuel like that...

Ah Cat, " Fast fast start engine lah ! OIYOH !! "

Me corrected the steering back to it's original height and turned the ignitions,
VOILA !! The engine started, shift D and hit gasssssss !!!

Ah Cat still covered her face, " Anyone looking at me ?"

Me, " No ! We are long gone already... "

Ah Cat, " hahahahhah... stupid lah you ! "

Me, " Not me, your car !! Where got car which goes stalled when we adjust
the steering wheel height one ? "

Ah Cat, " Where got people go and adjust steering wheel height when driving
one ? "

Me, " Got ! When the steering is blocking the tummy from breathing ! "

Ah Cat, " Now shaddap and bring me to dinner... "

Me, " Affirmative ..... "

Ah Cat, " I am SOOOOO going to tell this to Fat Lady... "

Me, " Tell loh... tell loh... "

The One About The Ipad

Was able to loan the Ipad from Ah Cat a few days ago and was testing
it for the features ( err.. ) past few days.

Fat Lady, " Darn this Ipad is sure pretty and precise small thing ya ! "

Me, " Yeah, neat toy !! "

Fat Lady, " Ok later we watch DVD using this ya ! "

Me, " Nope we can't !! "

Fat Lady, " Huh ? Why ? I want to watch some new movie woh ! "

Me, " Cannot ! cause it doesn't have DVD drive ! "

Fat Lady, " Harrrr ?? Then how to watch DVD ? "

Me pointed at the DVD Player under 3 inches of dust ,
" that one and a thing called TV ... "

Fat Lady, " Darn ! Everything must via I-tunes ya ? "

Me , " You very panlai also lah !! No SD Card, No USB Port, apa
boleh buat ??  "

Fat Lady, " Can let mama to chop vegetable and some cut meat also ya!
so thin, can also use as tray to serve cold drinks to our guest !!  "

Ah Cat , " Oi Oi Oi !! YOU ALL !! Nak kena ah ?? "

Me, " Can stick at my toilet wall, can play game while poo poo !! "

Ah Cat, " Oi Oi Oi !! YOU ALL BASKET !! Gimme back my Ipad !! "

LMAO !!