Philips goes working

The One About Operation Desert No Storm !!!

2011-11-29T00:46:00.000+08:00

Was using C-130 most of the time recently and on and off I do use the General's
new YF 35 as it is smaller and could move in and out from Operation easier.

The other day was about to take off and checked checked Instrument Panel....

Outside temperature was 40 Degree Celsius leh !! -_-"

The One about C-130 is huge !!!!

2011-11-29T00:41:00.000+08:00

Hercules C-130 has been serving me and family for almost 2 years. Been thru
many mission and done a lot of hours with this Hercules.... primary was for
passenger transportation operation and rarely was there an action operation.

Went back to Kelantan a few weeks ago, can you imagine that we managed to
put all these 15 items + 4 adults and 1 baby into my Hercules C-130 ? On the
way back the co Pilot reported that " smell of fuel leak " detected in the air -_-"

It was already 4 hours from Kota Bharu and it was too far to turn back for
emergency landing, and PJ Hanger was like 2 to 3 hours away. I checked
checked the fuel level was ok, engine temperature was also ok. Was about
to look for a place to stop and do a 100% check.

My mom:" No worries !! Don't panic, the cause of the smell came from the
frozen Durians, long flight like this, sure got some gas movement eh ? "

Co-Pilot -_-"

Darn ! I love my C-130 and my mom very much !!

The One About Really Old Town

2011-11-29T00:29:00.000+08:00

The older part of Johor Bharu town.
This is so like the place where i spent my childhood years : )

The One About Budget Airlines

2011-11-28T00:33:00.000+08:00

Was flying back to Kota Bharu last week with my team member on official
matters. Took a budget airliner from Subang airport to Kota Bharu and it
was the ATR 72-500 Kipas Aircraft, i told my team member.

While boarding the plane, my team member Mr. Lee started to ask question...

Lee, " Oi Oi !! Did you see the size of the tyres of this plane ? It is smaller than
my car tayar lah dude !! "

Me, " Shaddap lah ! You driving bulldozer meh ? "

Lee, " But the tyres size really si peh small leh !! "

Me -_-"

While taking off, Mr. Lee, " What happened if the kipas tercabut ? "

Me, " Well ! This type of aircraft could glide for a longer distance compared
to jet aircraft...jet aircraft drops faster while propeller aircraft could glide
really far, hence we are quite safe ! no worries... "

Mr Lee, " Did you know, if we were killed in air crash, we will each get USD2
million insurance coverage ? our family terus become rich folks.. heheheh... "

Me, " Can we please talk about something else ? "

Mr Lee, " Wah ! The air stewardess very beautiful , very young !! "

Me, " Now we are talking.... where ? where ?? "

Sometimes it is fun to travel with folks that ask a lot of question or has high level
of curiosity...

The One About 智慧牙

2011-11-28T00:17:00.002+08:00

话说到有一天, 有个吉隆坡的有钱佬去了外国鬼混.

骗老婆说外国去公干三个月.

结果三个月很快过去了要回吉隆坡了.

外国女朋友伊娃鬼叫, 万般舍不得.

有钱佬看了好心疼, 但非回国不可.....

女朋友说:" 你人走了那我怎么办??" 又伊娃鬼叫....

有钱佬说 : "那我给你20万美金, 作纪念好吗? Sayang? "

女朋友破涕而笑 , 赶紧说: " 谢谢...sayang...老板 !!"

女朋友还是依依不舍, 又想要一些纪念品.

便叫有钱佬留下智慧牙, 以便纪念纪念.

有钱佬面有难色, 女朋友又伊娃大哭了 -_-"....

" 好啦 !!!好啦!!! " 便大力把智慧牙拔下.

哇妈 !!! 这回可痛死有钱佬了.

女朋友得了智慧牙便很开心.

跑回去房间要把智慧牙放好.

有钱佬跟着回房看到女朋友打开抽屉

一看抽屉里面竟然有 200 多颗别人的智慧牙 -_-"

祝天下有钱佬鬼混快乐!!!! he he he he....

The One About Really Long Vacation

2011-11-27T23:58:00.000+08:00

Looked back at the last post which was done on 4th June 2011.
and it is already 27th Nov 2011, almost didn't update this blog
for 6 months already.

Took a really long vacation from blogging and was busy with many
many other things like working ( really hard ) and spent time learning
doing more house chores.

Well, i am back for the time being and while i am around, let's start to
tell some funny story , again....

炒冷饭ok？

The One about The Need For Speed !!!

2011-06-04T16:59:00.002+08:00

Wanted to download some updates for the Ipad, connected my Maxis Broadband
and started download.

Darn syiok to see download speed @ 750KB/sec.... haaahhh.... good ah !!

Happy Holiday !!!

The One About Another Gas Leak

2011-05-01T18:44:00.000+08:00

Just now Fat Lady was running here and there in the room, sniff sniff and
running around and sniff sniff again.

Me -_-"

Fat Lady, " Eh ! Did you smell that ? The cooking gas smell ? "

Me, " Err.. got meh ? "

Fat Lady sniff sniff again, " Yeah, got woh ! Cooking gas leaking ??"

Me, " Err actually just now my book fall on the floor ... "

Fat Lady, " Your book fall on the floor ? Book got gas smell one ?"

Me, " No, cause the book fall on the floor, i had bend down and pick
it up, and during the process some gas accidently ter- releasese !!! "

Fat Lady -________________-" U**#&%Y&@&%#*$#(&@#&#$

Me, " Old already, bend a bit then can't control the back.. sorry !"

Fa Lady, " Choi Choi ! I still go and sniff here sniff there somemore!"

Me, " Soli Chapati !! Accident lok..."

The One About It Is Monday Today Lah !!!

2011-04-18T10:35:00.000+08:00

Was having an early conference call with some regional folks a moment ago.
At the end of the call i tried to be polite and said :" Guys ! Thanks for your
time and have a great weekend ! "

They:" ........... "

I then put down the phone happily cause i read a book and the book asked
us to be polite and nice to co-workers. And I just did that !! Clever ya ??

And 2 seconds later, " Fuyolamak !! Today is Monday lah ! And i just wished
the whole region guys Have A Good Weekend ? "

This year, i think there is salary increament already .... loh !!!

Yeah, have a nice weekend lah !!

The One About 蔡琴演唱会 Part II

2011-04-10T01:39:00.000+08:00

我问： "外婆，您觉得蔡琴和蔡依林的演唱会有
什么不同的地方 ?? "

外婆："音乐不同 "

我 :" 错 !!!"

外婆有点不甘愿：" 那你说 !!　两者有什么不同??"

我:"　蔡依林的演唱会一眼望过去有 5,000 支荧光棒和五个老歌迷!!

but 蔡琴的演唱会一眼望过去共有 5 支荧光棒和五万个老歌迷!!!"

笑到外婆差点从椅子上跌下来 ... ...:
:" 问我那你干嘛又去听蔡琴的演唱会 lek ?? "

我 :" Well... you know...有口味的人都会听蔡琴演唱会的 !!"

这次是外婆, 笑到假牙从口里掉出来 !!!!

The One About 蔡琴演唱会

2011-04-10T01:24:00.000+08:00

刚才陪老妈子, 去了云顶听蔡琴演唱会
棒极了（笑我老吧） never mind !!

过后我打算自己驾车下山，老妈和外婆等人
听完演唱会, 还要打老虎, ((本人不杀生))

老妈: " 小心驾车 !!"

我: " Affirmative !! 是的 !!"

老妈: " 晚上驾车, 慢点!! "

我:" Rodger that, 是的 !!"

老妈: " 如果雾大 ....那跟前面车的车灯 !! "

我: " 酱如果我前面的车翻车下山....
我马不是跟它下埋山 lohhhh？"

老妈 -______________-"

:" 看老娘的正宗佛山无影脚卡擦!!!!"

结果是我飞下山......chikipabowww !!!

The One About The Smart Guy

2011-03-28T09:42:00.000+08:00

Was with Marko my friend yesterday and he was cooking Spaghetti for me and his
girl friend. It was really nice and taste like the Pro.

So i decided to say something nice to thank him.

Me, " Hei Marko, you really can cook nice and tastely Spaghetti ya ? "

Marko, " Thank you, you got taste , man .. "

Me -_-" I compliment him, he also able to double compliment himself....

-_________-"

*******

Before the lunch we went swimming at 1 pm in an open swimming pool. And Marko
looked like the Lobster after that when having Spaghetti.....

Marko, " You don't get sun burnt meh ? Adoiii !! So painful now ! "

Me, " errr... no, i don't feel anything woh.. " and was so proud !

Marko, " You know maybe your skin very thick, so no feeling, my skin very
thin, so fast alrready painful .... "

Me, " Yeah right !! " and went home happily.

This morning, me, " Oh ! Darn Marko, i also get sun burnt lah !! "

Marko, " Oh great, not only me, you also get ya ? Baru fair like this, and now i
cannot wear my shirt, very painful !! Have to work naked, and make the gf
very horny !! "

Me lmaozhedong !!!

The One About Ah Chuah

2011-03-19T01:07:00.000+08:00

刚才老蔡喝茶时跟我们说他的的太太怀孕了，六个月，
什么都想吃，什么都想喝....

前几天, 老蔡的太太突然跟老蔡说:
" Dear 老公 .... 我想吃龙珠饼.... 可以吗?? "

老蔡是出名疼老婆的, 便二话不说, 开车四个小时 terus
到槟城去买了三盒最出名的龙珠饼, 然后 terus
再开车回来吉隆坡.

累到半死, 把饼交给老婆时.

老婆: " 你做莫去槟城买哦 ???? 我那天看到 SS2也是有卖，
人家是想吃SS2 的那间啦... yorrr !! "

老蔡 -________________-" 然后 .....

笑死我们...

羡慕死同座的未婚女孩.....

气死老蔡....

The One About Pepper Spray !!

2011-03-18T18:47:00.000+08:00

Yesterday in lunch was talking to some close co worker and was talking
about people getting rob nowadays.

David: " Yew ! What is it so scared ? We use pepper spray lah !! "

Me : " Huh ? Pepper spray ? "

David: " Yeap ! Like some country police force use this, can temporary
blind the bad guys while it will not kill him ! "

Me think think & laughed : " ha ha ha ha ha ha !!! "

David abit dulan: " Mr Wong why you laught at me ? "

Me : " No lah ... no lah.... "

David lagi beh song : " Mr Wong , tell me !! tell me !!!! "

Me :" I was thinking that .... when you aim the pepper spray
at the bad guys... you press and .... hahahahh .... !!! "

David epic beh song :" And then what ???? "

Me:" ......the wind changes direction and the pepper spray goes
into your own eyes... and i imagine you squat down rubbing your eyes
and shouting " ADOOOOOOIIII !"
hence i mar laughed... lorrrr "

David lmaozhedong !! " Wahahahahhaah stupid Kai Hong !!! "

Me : " Pepper spray doesn't spray out pepper ( for cooking ) , it
actually is a mix of gas with chemical stuff which really upset
one's eyes and throat and everything...

Do Not Use Pepper Spray to add flavour to your food too !!"

David; " You stupid Chicken Mr Wong !!!! We also watch
Discovery Channel one also ya ! "

Me, " Err... black pepper chicken ? hahahahahah !! "

阿弟的故事

2011-03-13T23:30:00.000+08:00

前几天, 阿弟垂头丧气在家看电视.

我问:" 喂 !! 弟 !! 发生什么事?? "

阿弟回答 :" 今天真气死人 !!! 我帮了人家, 还被人家打了两巴掌!!"

我问:" 哇搞什么鬼 ??? 跟我说 !!!! 我帮你报仇 !!! "

阿弟:" 今天, 我搭巴士下 KL 买电脑, 然后在巴士上看到一个肥妹,
在巴士里玩 Ipad, 结果我就被 kam 了两巴掌 !!"

我问: " 那.....你做了什么帮人的事 ?? "

阿弟: " 因为那肥妹没位子坐, 站着, 我要让她位子, 又不敢, 怕她
误会我觉得她怀孕, 那就惨了 loh !!!! "

我 : " 对 !对!! 对!!! "

阿弟: " 那肥妹站着时, 她的短裙被她的屁股夹着, 看来很怪不舒服的.. "

我 -__-"

阿弟: " 结果..... 我就帮她把裙拉出来 lah !! 没那么不舒服嘛.... !!"
mana tahu 她反过身来赏我一巴掌啦 !! shit ! "

我 -_- " :" 你又说你给人两巴掌 ??? "

阿弟: " 对呀 !!! 她打了我一巴掌..... 我便很害怕啦 ....急忙把她的裙塞
回去原来的样子啦 !!!! 结果便中多一巴掌啦 !!! "

我 Chikipabooooowwwww !!!!

The One About Oh Pakcik !! Pakcik !!

2011-03-13T17:03:00.000+08:00

Was driving the good old Hercules C-130 near Ampang area yesterday and
was cruising smoothly and the temperature was hot and warm. A bit of heavy
traffic and the side wind was mild.

And a moment later there was this Pakcik behind me flashed flashed me with
his high beam -_-"

I looked via mirror, " wow ! Pakcik with whole family in his car... "

Me, " Er... perhaps I cruised too slow.. " increase air speed a bit. Didn't want
to block people with big old fat C-130...

10 second later Pakcik got closer to me and gave me 2 more time of
high beam.

Me -___-" and changed lane from Fast Lane to Middle Lane.

Pakcik also changed lane to Middle Lane and flash flash again
-______-" I was thinking, was this Pakcik going to make me stop,
rob me, punch me at kkc ( very painful ) and take my naked photos
and put in facebook ? I don't know Karate one... cham liao this time!

I almost started to get a little bit annoyed and excited and did the evasive
maneuvering to shake him off.

And I saw my instrument panel " lights on " Oh !!! OK !!! and I smile :)

Was in basement car park before that and must have forgotten to switch off
the landing lights .... hehehehehe.... and the nice Pakcik was trying to remind
me to turn of the lights cause it was like 12 pm in the noon ..... and Pakcik
was a consistent person too...

Terima Kasih Pakcik ! Semoga Pakcik dan Sekeluarga Sihat Selalu.
Anak , cucu , cicit dan saudara mara semua pun Sihat ya :)

There is a saying in my country, if within 5 minutes, 4 girls grin at you,
don't be so proud and get the wrong idea and think you are hot....

Check your darn zipper.....

The One About Seremban -________________-"

2011-03-10T23:18:00.000+08:00

Was driving along Seremban and it showed the external temperature " 44 celcius "

-_______________-"

zomg.......

The One About You Think You Can Park Like Me Meh ??

2011-03-10T23:04:00.000+08:00

There was this guy in my office who think that he could park his car like i did
(leaving 3 mm of space) only for the ants to move.

The result ? Super Epic Hamplang Long Zhong Sama Kaliao Fail of 2011 !!

Some paint transfer is unavoidable in this scenario !!

The One About Non C130 Hercules

2011-03-10T00:22:00.000+08:00

The other day was going out for dinner with Ah Cat and Ah Lian. I was driving
Ah Cat's car and left my C-130 Hercules at home.

While waiting for the traffic lights we were chatting and discussing about the
features and functions in the cabin.

Me, " Your steering could be adjusted to a higher position so that you can see
the instrument panel more clearly.. " and adjust adjust the steering height.

Ah Cat, " Oi Oi ! don't disturb my settings !! "

And suddenly the engine stalled and went dead... and the traffic light turned
green ... -_-" geeee... great timing !!!

Ah Cat, " ZOMG KNNBBQ ! This is so embarrassing !!!"

Me, " No worries !" and put on the hazard / emergency signal lights...

Ah Cat , " Oh no !! My reputation !! " covered covered face .....

Me, " This is Damansara, people recognize my C-130 hercules and will not

know that I am stuck in this Twin Otter with stalled engine, hence i don't have

to cover my face and i will be brave ... restart darn it !! restart !!!! ... "

Engine didn't response like the Twin Otter without battery and fuel like that...

Ah Cat, " Fast fast start engine lah ! OIYOH !! "

Me corrected the steering back to it's original height and turned the ignitions,
VOILA !! The engine started, shift D and hit gasssssss !!!

Ah Cat still covered her face, " Anyone looking at me ?"

Me, " No ! We are long gone already... "

Ah Cat, " hahahahhah... stupid lah you ! "

Me, " Not me, your car !! Where got car which goes stalled when we adjust
the steering wheel height one ? "

Ah Cat, " Where got people go and adjust steering wheel height when driving
one ? "

Me, " Got ! When the steering is blocking the tummy from breathing ! "

Ah Cat, " Now shaddap and bring me to dinner... "

Me, " Affirmative ..... "

Ah Cat, " I am SOOOOO going to tell this to Fat Lady... "

Me, " Tell loh... tell loh... "

The One About The Ipad

2011-03-09T23:55:00.000+08:00

Was able to loan the Ipad from Ah Cat a few days ago and was testing
it for the features ( err.. ) past few days.

Fat Lady, " Darn this Ipad is sure pretty and precise small thing ya ! "

Me, " Yeah, neat toy !! "

Fat Lady, " Ok later we watch DVD using this ya ! "

Me, " Nope we can't !! "

Fat Lady, " Huh ? Why ? I want to watch some new movie woh ! "

Me, " Cannot ! cause it doesn't have DVD drive ! "

Fat Lady, " Harrrr ?? Then how to watch DVD ? "

Me pointed at the DVD Player under 3 inches of dust ,
" that one and a thing called TV ... "

Fat Lady, " Darn ! Everything must via I-tunes ya ? "

Me , " You very panlai also lah !! No SD Card, No USB Port, apa
boleh buat ?? "

Fat Lady, " Can let mama to chop vegetable and some cut meat also ya!
so thin, can also use as tray to serve cold drinks to our guest !! "

Ah Cat , " Oi Oi Oi !! YOU ALL !! Nak kena ah ?? "

Me, " Can stick at my toilet wall, can play game while poo poo !! "

Ah Cat, " Oi Oi Oi !! YOU ALL BASKET !! Gimme back my Ipad !! "

LMAO !!

The One About Eh Wopppss !!!

2011-03-09T23:40:00.000+08:00

A few days ago, was doing some online things while Ah Cat was
preparing for a flight to Europe. She was packing packing and
wanted to know the weather of destination....

Ah Cat, " Can you please check for me what is the temp of Rome?"

Me, " Rome as of Romania ? "

Ah Cat 2 legs in the sky.... " Rome of Italy lah ! What was your
Geography grade ? Epic Fail ? or Master Super Fail ?? "

Me, " Soli Soli... they all sounded the same and, far far away...by the
way it should be called Roma ( Rom Mahhh )"

A moment later, " Oh got that, it's about 33 degree, ... hence no need to
bring so much of cloths, weather almost like Kuala Lumpur.."

Ah Cat -_______-""
" Wait a second.... should be quite cold now as I remembered, are
you sure ? let me see , let me see.... "

Me, " Nah..... see ? 32 ... 33 degree like that !! I am always right! you
can bring bikini and sexy pants there wahoo !! wahoo !!!"

Ah Cat, " What lah you ! 32- 33 degree Fahrenheit ok ?
It's like 0 degree celcius lah ! It is darn cold ! somemore ask me
to wear Bikini there ah ?? " slapped my head with the Ipad...

Me, " Aduiii !!! Eh ! Woppsss !! This darn Ipad no good one,
why shows tempeture in Fahrenheit one ? "

Ah Cat, " Hak elleh ! Don't blame the Ipad !! Stupid user problem ok ? "

Me, " hehehehehe... soli ... soli... "

The One About Kopiiiiiiiii !!!!

2011-02-13T10:36:00.000+08:00

Was having coffee with my parents this morning after breakfast and we
ordered :

1. Kopi.

2. Kopi Ais x 2.

3. Kopi bungkus.

Drink drink drink and upon settling the bill , the lady :" Thank you, total
would be RM6.20. "

Me, " Huh ? Does that include my take away coffee ? "

Lady, " Yeap, correct, all in the bill. "

Me, " Here you go RM6.20 "

Yeah, you could still have RM6.20 for 4 cups of coffee in Klang Valley
and the coffee was really really nice. Not necessary to go for RM13 or
RM10 per cup of Latte or Expresso or Capucino all the time one !!

My parents, " Darn these coffee are nice and cheap ya ! "

Me, " Absolutely, and you don't see much of Ah Bengs and Ah Lians

here. Neither does people order 1 cup of coffee and sit here for 4 hours

tapping the Wifi, laughing at the screen with no interaction with the people
at the next tables.... darn zombies !!! "

My parents, " Nice !! People drink up, eat , pay and go. "

Me, " abuthen ? I always bring you all to nice place only ya !! "

Parents, " Corretlah !! Panlailah !! "

The One about Pushing Hercules 130 !!

2011-01-23T00:53:00.001+08:00

From last Saturday onwards, all the passengers boarding my C-130
Hercules would look at the fuel gauge and ask, " Captain, enough of
fuel for take off and landing ? The Tanjung Tokong incident? No No! "

And i have to reply, " Sir ! yes sir ! full tank sir !!!! " and all of these
passengers would reply,
" Ok ! Cleared for take off ... "

Cause last Friday i was escorting some officers from KL to Penang
and the C-130 did 664 km on single tank of fuel. By the time we
arrived at Penang, we were rushing to attend another dinner and I
scheduled to refuel after the dinner which was held at Gurney
Roundabout area.

Managed to find a darn good spot at the roundabout and parked
the C-130 nicely. Knowing that the fuel of C-130 was really really
low i made some announcement to the crew and passengers after
the dinner.

Me, " This is your captain speaking, we are low on fuel and please be
prepared for emergency landing anytime. "

Passengers, " WTF ?? No fuel ah ? "

Me, " Still got, maybe 200 ml or 150 ml loh... " and we were at the
Gurney roundabout that time heading towards Tanjung Tokong area.

Me, " I am trying to reach the nearest refuel station ok ? You all hang
on there, no big movement, don't breath ! don't even fart !! "

The Passengers cursed and prayed, some even used the I-phone to
write their will. -_-"

After the traffic light near the roundabout we headed towards Tanjung
Tokong and the cabin was absolutely quiet.... -_-" tension...

A moment later, I saw the Caltex petrol station and said, " Oh ! We
have Caltex in sight !! " About 500 m away from Caltex.

Passengers, " Hurray !! Hurray !! We are safe !! "

Me, " But I use Esso and Mobil fuel only, got points woh ! "
About 300 m away from Caltex.

Passengers, " You want us to chop your KKC and throw from Penang
Bridge and feed the Jelly Fish izzit ? "

Me, " Just joking, just joking, I love Caltex !! I love Caltex !! Passengers
and crew please be prepared for landing. "
100 m away from Caltex.

Engine, " Puttt.... puttttttt..... putttttttt...fffffffffff "
50 m away from Caltex... -_-"

Me, " Don't worry, there are still a few ml of fuel in the engine and pipes,
let's all shake our bodies ... shaka !! shakaaaa !! "

The C-130 continued to glide and move but the speed was from 50kmh
to 30 ..25... 20....5.... and to a motionless stop

Passengers, " NOOOOOOOOOO !!! gawd damnit NOOO !!! "

The C-130 stopped at 10 m away from entrance of Caltex -_-" and
blocking some Ah Beng's car at the back. Some darn Ah beng sounded
their horn and thought WTF were we blocking the road -_-"

Me, " This is your captain speaking, ladies and gentleman , welcome to

Caltex , Jalan Tanjung Tokong, please get out of the air craft , mind the

cars from behind you and gently push this air craft toward Caltex

until the air craft reached the Petrol Pump number 11, for your safety,

please do not use your mobile phone while pushing the C-130 and

smoking is prohibited because we are near to petrol station. We thank you
for flying Air C-130 and hope you had a nice journey !!! Thanks !. "

Passenger, " @($U%YY!#Y$Y@U@U!@Y$Y##$UI!Y#Y$"

Me, " We thank you for flying with C-130 airlines and push... push...

push... push... we are almost there !! another 5 meter !! comon

guys and gilrs, we just had dinner ! comon push !! push !! "

Passenger, " Captain, please remind me to kill you tomorrow or
next weekend ya. "

Me, " Push... !! Push !! We are almost there... "

Passenger A, " This is damn humiliating ok ? Such a large and expensive
aircraft and how could No Fuel happened ?"

Passenger B, " MCH ! Even the petrol station boss shake his head in

disbelief when he see us pushing your C-130, he said this has never

happened before and this is big case !! "

Indeed, the boss of petrol station couldn't believe his eyes, so were
several of the people who were at the Caltex Station that night.

That is why, now, whenever people board my C-130 Hercules, they
would naturally look at the fuel level first .... -_-"

Sorry loh !! Guys !!

Bad C-130 !! Next time must behave yourself ok ?

The One About Kam Cheng !!!

2011-01-22T23:55:00.000+08:00

新年就要到了, 路旁很多小贩开始卖芦柑,肉干之类的.

昨天去了一档在安邦的, 把车一停, 就很有型的问
:" Err... 老板 !!! 这些橙, 怎么卖??? "

老板傻了一下, 咋傻, 听不到还回答 :" 欢迎光临 !!
要买很好吃的芦柑吗？"

我 -_-" :" 喔 !!! 对 !!! 这芦柑怎么卖 ???"

老板:" 来来来 !!!! 芦柑 算你便宜 , 一盒二十块罢了 !!!"

我买了三盒, 便逃之夭夭....... -_-"

回到家, 跟老妈老爸说, : " 我分不清柑和橙 lah !!! "

笑得他们从椅子上掉下来.

-_-" 万事如意 !!!!!

The One About Mountain and God

2011-01-18T21:15:00.002+08:00

前几天, 在和肥婆还有肥婆姐姐到了台湾走来走去
路经一座大山, 大山边有座很大的什么好像佛祖,
妈祖还是观音像的.

我还没看清, 便问 :" 这是什么像? 佛祖? 妈祖?
还是观音像? 改天要去拜拜吗?"

肥婆姐姐:" 哦 !!! 我知道这是什么像来的!!"

我问:" 你知道吗 ?? 酱厉害???"

肥婆姐姐:" 啊不然??"

我:" 那请告诉我答案... "

肥婆姐姐:" 各位观众 !! 这就是有名的愚公像!!"

我:" 谁哈??"

肥婆姐姐:" 愚公移山的愚公啦 !!"

肥婆:" 愚公你的头啦 !!! 明明是太上老君像啦!!!"

肥婆姐姐:" 是咩 ?? 对不起天气太冷我看不清楚!!"

妈的这导游, 100% 完全不行啦 !!!!

炒掉她!!!!!

The One About 燒島蛋

2011-01-14T00:25:00.001+08:00

前几天, 在台北西门町,走呀走。

肥婆的姐姐问:" 咦 ?? 有人卖燒島蛋 ??!!?? "

我们:" wtf bbq ?? 什么导弹岛蛋的？"

一看原来是燒鳥蛋 lah !! Oiyoh !!!

島和鳥看來很像么？

肥婆的姐姐:" 啊!!! 因为天气太冷了我看不清!!"

过后又说要吃什么:" 无肉鸡排!!"

肥婆:" 无骨鸡排啦 !!!! 笨蛋!!"

肥婆的姐姐:" 啊!!! 因为天气太冷了, 我看不清 mah !!"

现在的人什么都可以赖.

The One about Coffee and Winter

2011-01-12T21:52:00.000+08:00

Fat Lady, " Hmmmm.... darn nice to drink good latte in warm Starbucks !!"

Me, " So darn hot lah in this coffee house ! "

Fat Lady, " It is freaking cold outside, if you like the winter so much, go get a
GF or wife in Taipei lah ! "

Me, " WAH WAH WAH !! Can ah ? Really can ah ?? "

30 mins later, I woke up in the General Hospital of Dan Shui with a boo boo on
my head.

The One About Winter and Grey

2011-01-12T21:47:00.000+08:00

Is winter always grey and cold ?
so grey until the photo also come out senget ??

Fat Lady, " Ok lah ! My fault lah ! Too cold, until cannot capture proper photos!"

Me," This is like summer in Alaska only.... "

Fat Lady, " Shaddap already, i heard this Alaska 200 times already...if you like
Alaska or Taipei winter so much, find a GF or wife there lah !!!"

Me, " WAH WAH WAH !!! Can ah ? Can ah ??? "

2 hours later, I woke up in Taipei General Hospital, don't know why....

The One About Taipei Night Market

2011-01-12T21:34:00.000+08:00

There are a lot of famous night market in Taipei and Taiwan.
We went to several of these night market and had fun and
dinner and shopping there.

Question is : How do you know that when you are near to one of these?

Answer: When Fat Lad and her sister start asking me, " Oi ! you fart ah ?"

Me:" No ! Not me, it was the Chow Tau Fu lah !! Oiyoh !!! "

Them: "Oh ! Ya hor, sorry sorry !! "

You wouldn't miss one !!!

The One about Taipei

2011-01-12T20:47:00.001+08:00

Was in Taipei a few days ago, it was around 12° Celsius and the coolest
was 9° Celsius with rain ( drizzling ). Wind was strong also.

I was wearing Short Sleeve T-Shirt and my cargo pants only while the
rest of the Taipei citizen wrapped themselves like Bak Zhang like that.

The aunties there, " WTF ? You not cold meh ?? "

Me, " 9° Celsius with rain is summer in Alaska only !! "

They all, " Waliew !!! "

By the way, is there any way for us to change Malaysia climate
to 9° Celsius all year around ? Is there a huge remote control
that we can use and do that ?

Darn !!! 9° Celsius with rain is TEH FUN !!!!!!

The One About 19.3 kml

2010-12-26T20:37:00.000+08:00

A few days ago was cruising at highway and noticed the F-22
fuel computer calculations.

It said 19.3 km per liter of petrol. -_-"

Each liter of petrol RM1.90 ( ron95 ) divided by 19.3 km = RM 0.098446 per
km. I was like, no way hozay !!!

True enough, later it went back to 11 or 12 km per liter which is about RM0.15
or RM0.16 per km. This is more like it !!

The One About 7 Inches Screen Phone

2010-12-23T09:51:00.000+08:00

Yesterday was having lunch near Bangsar area with client. While
waiting for the menu to come, i was scanning the surrounding.

Next table there was this lady with Iron Lady look , must be some
big shot CEO or VP or something of a huge company. She was
sitting with another guy, perhaps her Ma Chai and seems like they
were waiting for some people.....
and her face reminded me of Rod Stewart -_-"

She talked talked talked and then placed her phone on the table and
that looked like a Samsung Galaxy Tab. She touched touched touched
the screen and talked talked talked somemore.

Her client arrived a moment later and the first thing her client said almost
made me spit my chinese tea to my customer face.....

Her client,
" ZOMG !! Wah hah ha ha ha !!! Wow !!
This is the biggest phone that I ever saw !
EVER !!! Really !!" this was like a 6 in 1 assault
sentence and each of the assaults was a direct hit on the bull eyes -_-"

Lady:" ......... " a bit beh song.

Must be thinking, " knnbbq ! I spent RM2699 bought this phone and you
OMG OMG complaning the phone big, damn kuai lan lah you ! "

Me -_-"

By the way, i am still using a normal phone and when I place this phone
in my pockets, people does not suspect that I carry a cannon or an
anaconda in my pocket ya !!

The One About Turkey

2010-12-20T16:17:00.004+08:00

Just now don't know why the ladies in the office mentioned about
Turkey, perhaps the Christmas is near and they are thinking how to
cook these Turkey.

June:" The turkey kok.kok..kok...kok....kok.....kok...kok !!!"

Me:" lmao ! turkey not kok...kok....kok...kok...one lah !!! "

June:" Then ? How does turky sound like ? "

Me:" Turr tur turrr turrr turrr.... keyy.....keyyy.... keyy...keyyy ?"

June :" lmaozhedongwith 2 legs in the sky !!!! Stupid Kai Hong !!!"

Me :" WHATTT ??? "

The One About Facebook

2010-12-19T22:28:00.000+08:00

A few days ago, some old friends were chatting at my place and we
talked about Facebook.

Hau:" gnnbbqmaozhetong !! i really don't understand why people put
baby face at their profile photo, how am I suppose to recognize them ?"

Me:" You don't know meh ? it is no more called facebook already ! "

Hau:" really meh ? "

Me:" Yeap ! It is called babyfacebookdotcom !! "

Hau -______-"

Me:" Some people even put dog photos at their profile photo woh ! "

Hau:" Well, not unusual, cause nowadays dog also knows how to use
facebook already mah, sometimes cats also, biawak also..... "

My turn -___________-"

The One that you don't KLKK ok ????

2010-12-19T13:27:00.003+08:00

A few days ago, a childhood friend sent me a document, saying that it is
Hokkian Dictionary and contains some very useful terms..

Me, " Yew... Hokkian only mar, i have PhD on that lah !! "

Then i opened the file and read thru and fall off my chair -_-"

why ?

In the document, it defines what is K.L.K.K, what is K.L.K, what
is K.K.C and K.K.Y.L.P and many more...... -____________-"

What ? You also don't know ah ? lmao ! ok ok ok...

K.L.K.K = Kia Lai Kia Ker ( Walk here walk there ) = lepak..

K.L.K = Kuai Lan Kia ( trouble making child , cocky child )= budak jahat

K.K.C= don't tell me you don't know this one ok ??? -________-"

K.K.Y.L.P = Kio Kar Yo Lam Par -_________________-" ( very free
doing nothing, raise one leg and shaking genital ) lmao !!!

Ok ok, i don't have the PhD in Hokkian, the person who publish
this document HAS !! and I respect this guy !! damn !!!

The One About Good Car for Sale

2010-12-17T09:30:00.000+08:00

My friend Johntim has a Good Black Honda Civic for sale.

Asking for RM62,000 negotiable. If interested please let me
know, mentioning my name to him got RM168.68 discount.

I asked him, " Reason of selling your car ? "

Him, " I am getting married soon ! My GF father has a few Ferrari
and Porsche and those are really seldom used. "

Me -_-" :" Your GF got sister or not ? Can introduce to me or not?"

Him, " DON'T HAVE !! DON'T HAVE !!!! "

Me," Elleh ... "

The One About My Dad's Super Car

2010-12-16T18:46:00.000+08:00

Ah Meng and Ah Beng and Ah Lian were showing off their father's
car while playing at Kayu Ara Playground.

Ah Meng, " My father's sport car damn good ! from Ipoh toll to
Damansara toll, 1 hour 30 mins only..... geng boh ? "

Ah Beng, " My father's sport car lagi damn best ! from Kuala Lumpur to
JB , 2 hours 5 minutes only.... waliew boh ? "

Ah Lian, " Cheh !!! My father's car lagi bestest !!! He finishes work at
5 30 pm but he arrives at home at 5 28 pm every day rain or no rain..."

Ah Beng and Ah Meng: " Wahliew !!!!!!!! "

The One About Quite Painful -_-"

2010-12-16T17:08:00.001+08:00

Just now went to Petrol Station for refuel and eyes wasn't opened properly...

Ter"pumped" in the extremely poweful and expensive
RM2.55 per liter fuel x 40 liter.

Putih putih paid extra RM 26 -_-" knnbbq@brrrommmm power !!!!

Since pumped in already, boh pian, wanted to try the Brrrrommmmm power lohh...

At highway, me pressed pressed the gas pedal hard hard.... engine no
Broomm Broommm sound one?

Maybe I ter"pumped" in Diesel kottt....

I pressed pressed again, got small car overtake my F-22 somemore.... -_-"

Kenapa Boleh Jadi Begini Kehhhhh ????? ADOIII !!!

SAKIT !!!!!

The One about Green Green Grass

2010-12-10T19:17:00.000+08:00

Just now saw ALM and had conversation with her.

Me," I say, ALM, you are riding on cows nowadays meh ?"

ALM, " Oi ! What cows ? I am driving a car ok ? "

Me, " Then, is your car a cow meh ??? "

ALM, " No ak, my CAR IS A CAR LAH !! "

Me, " Then does your car eat grass for lunch? "

ALM is a bit beh song liao -_-"

ALM, " No ak, my car uses Ron95 or Ron97 petrol!"

Me, " Is your car a bee ? does it transport pollen ? "

ALM, " knn ! My car is my car lah ! Why you ask so many
question ? " ALM very Beh Song already....

Me, " No lah, i saw your car, i thought it was a cow trying

to eat my plants , or trying to spread pollens or something

like that, i just worried ma.... "

ALM, " Wopppsss !! I park too near to the plants izzit ? "

Me, " Nolah, your car is NOT parked too near to the plants
your car is PARKED IN MY PLANTS!!!!!!!!!!!!."

ALM, " Soli Soli heheheheh !!! "

See ?? see ?? -_-"

The One About 24 Degree

2010-12-10T11:31:00.000+08:00

Yesterday it was raining since 3 or 4 am. When i went to work, it was only 24° celcius...

Cool !!! I wish that everyday i could wake up in this kind of weather...

The One About RM450 shirt

2010-12-10T11:28:00.001+08:00

My colleague bought a RM450 shirt and was very happy cause the shirt felt comfortable
and look great on him.

He walked into our lunch yesterday and without knowing what happened,
i asked him, " Eh !??? Your shirt or you was ran over by a lorry ah ?
Why the tyres mark are so clear and obvious one ? "

Him -_-" "knnbbq ! This one is the latest Paris Designer shirt ok ?
RM450 a pop one !"

Me, "Wooppppppsss..... Soli Soli.... Soli Soli.... "

The One About Crabs

2010-12-10T11:12:00.000+08:00

This morning, Ah Lian's Mom ALM called me and said want to ask me
a question. I was not too busy and said, " Please ask !"

ALM, " Eh i ask you hor ! "

Me, " Yes, please ask ! "

ALM, " If there is a race between 2 crabs to see who could run faster,
which crabs do you think would win, there is this Black Crab and
another one is Red Crab."

Me, " Huh ? I don't know, perhaps the Black Crab ?? "

ALM, " Bingo ! You are good ! But why the Black Crab ? "

Me, " I really don't know leh !! Mana aku tahu ? "

ALM, " hahahahaha....wahahahhaha..... "

Me, " So , why has the black crab won the race ? "

ALM, " Cause the red crab is cooked ! and he ain't going nowhere.
wahahahahahah............"

Me spit hot coffee on my lap & ........ adoi !!!!!!

The One About Raining

2010-12-03T17:02:00.000+08:00

The other day Fat Lady mia sister or Kath mentioned that she
is coming to visit us in the evening. But till night she hasn't arrived.
So I called and checked

Me, " Hello, where are you, are you ok ?"

Kath, " Oh ! I am perfectly fine thank you."

Me," I thought you are suppose to come to my house today?"

Kath, " Oh ! Because it's raining now, so I didn't come lor."

Me, " I see I see, you are driving a convertable car izzit ? Or
your car has no top one izzit ? Or your car has no windscreen
and windows one izzit ? "

Kath, " No lah, raining mah.... "

Me, " hmmpffff !!! I thought you are driving a Spyder or
Convertable tim...."

Kath, " heheheheh...."

Me, " Stupiak !!"

The One About Paying Saman and Get Discount

2010-12-03T16:55:00.001+08:00

Recently don't know why a lot of people like getting
crazy and everyday talking about settling their summons.

I feel very left out cause I have none to settle and
decided to show off a little bit. Muahahahahah...

Read my lips," I am a pro, A pro doesn't get Summons.
Only amature gets Summons."

Or you can drive over 300 miles/h, the speed camera can't
capture you according to Adam and Jamie...

Run away fast fast...

The One About Calling from Sabah

2010-11-30T22:50:00.001+08:00

A few days ago, a friend of mine called for help and over the
phone, " Eh ! Need your help, i am drinking @ Sabah now !! But my
Ipad cannot get connected to Wifi and browse the net lah ! "

Me, " Wah ! Ipad, i am not very sure about the setting for it's Wifi woh!"

Friend, " How ? "

Me, " I need to have the device with me, in order to help ya!"

Friend, " Ok Ok ! Never mind "

Me, " sorry ya ! eh eh ! Buy seafood for me har !!! hehehe! "

15 mins later that friend arrived at my home.... -_-"

Me, " Knnbbq ! You said you were at Sabah just now ? "

Friend, " I said I was in drinking nice coffee at Starbucks !
and I was having problem connecting my wifi using my Ipad.
And why the hell did you ask me to buy seafood for you from
Sabah for??? Now fix my Ipad . go.go.go !!!! "

Me, " -_-" ok loh "

Starbucks sounds very close to Setapak and Sabah sometimes....

My ears are bad also sometimes.....

The One About Ah Pok

2010-11-30T22:43:00.000+08:00

Ah Pok put these in his MSN status.

我从此以后对此君另眼相看佩服·佩服!!!! -_-"

also 从此以后吃饭时不看人家的MSN 的 status.....

The One About Your Hairdresser is more terror than my Hairdresser

2010-11-26T21:11:00.000+08:00

My rich friend, " Eh ! where do you normally go get your hair dressed?"

Me," errr... infront of my mirror of my bath room loh... "

My rich friend, " I mean, which shop you normally go ? Lot 10 ?
Pavilion ? Sri Hartamas ? USJ ? Which area ?"

Me, " Oh i have my own regular guy fixing my hair... "

My rich friend, " Your hairdresser from which country ? Mine is from

Hong Kong quite experienced chap, i booking normally 2 days in

advance can get already. "

Me, " Oh mine no need booking one, he is from Mumbai, i walk in,

he shake his head, " cut ? " i answered, " yes cut but not too short "

and in 10 mins time i leave RM7 and go home with short hair.

And i sometimes use my bicycle to go to this shop..."

My rich friend, " WTF ? RM7 ? My dog cut hair also RM100 over a pop!"

Me, " Your hair and your dog's hair got gold mah, mine black one."

The One About Negative Temperature

2010-11-25T08:58:00.000+08:00

A friend of mine was going abroad and expected would be winter
with negative ( minus ) temperature. He is also bringing his
DSLR to that destination.

Worried about the extremely cold temperature, he was asking us
on tips and tricks to protect the DSLR from negative temp.

Him," I am very worried about by DSLR and the temperature lah!
some friends suggested dry box, silica gel and stuff like that.. but
these are more for moisture right ?"

I said, " I see, this is pretty simple and free solution here !"

Him," Huh ? Really ? how ?"

Me," You go ahead and bring your DSLR to your destination."

Him, " Then ? "

Me, " When the temperature drops to negative / minus , you hold
your DSLR in your hand...and close to your face... "

Him, " Then ? Then ? I blow at it ah ? fooo...foooo.. foooo.. like that ?"

Me, " No lah my dear !! Don't do that, your breath got moist also!

You should then say something negative to the DSLR like, you stupid
camera, or you slow shutter camera, or you small sensor camera or
you lousy piece of ISO equipment, you ain't worth nothing.... perhaps
some hokkien &^@^^#^!%!%&&*(#$#^^!%% too... "

Him, " Why ? Why ??? "

Me, " Cause , last time my math teacher said, Negative and Negative
becomes positive .... confirmed one ! "

Me, " or you can go to kuwait, cause they ban DSLR there...loh..."

Him," You go get hump by an elephant ! "

Me," lmao ! " run away really fast....

The One About 门口与电梯

2010-11-19T18:16:00.004+08:00

前几天,有个大肚婆去政府医院生baby时,
赶不及上到楼上便在电梯里分娩了,
她又不好意思, 又觉得很害羞,
便在电梯里哭得比例巴拉的

妇科医生:"哎呀 !! aunty 您别难过啦!!"

太太:" 这太不好意思了嘛 !!!"

妇科医生: "别哭...别哭..... 去年有个大肚婆更够力leh,
在医院门口, 就 terus 生了leh, 更加 jiat lat 啦!!!"

太太哭得更大声了:" 那也是我来的lah !!!"

医生:" oppppssss !!! "

The One About Solution

2010-11-17T21:28:00.003+08:00

A love running everywhere uncontrollable child is a major headache
for a lot of parents. Here comes the solution....

2010-11-17T18:25:00.003+08:00

下午，做了一份 Nutella 朱古力面包，刚要吃时。

Fat Lady,"给我一口可以吗?"

Me:"不可以!"

Fat Lady,"求求你啦!"

Me," 就只有这一口 harr!!"

Fat Lady, "好的,谢谢你!!!"

结果完了完了。。。。遇人不淑！！！！！

好一个血盆大口！

The One About Hot

2010-11-17T15:30:00.003+08:00

Define hot ?

Answer:" When it is 39° Celsius out there... "

The One about Professional

2010-11-17T15:26:00.002+08:00

What is a Pro ?

Answer, " When you can park your car really really to near the wall, like 5mm or 10mm away......"

One About Bachok

2010-11-17T15:23:00.003+08:00

Darn I missed Bachok so much !!

The One That Rainy Days

2010-11-17T15:01:00.004+08:00

Darn I love Rainy Days....

The One About White Paper

2010-11-17T14:28:00.004+08:00

Just now at lunch near Damansara....

Fat Lay, " Errr... what is White paper already ah ? "

Me, " What paper is a kind of official report, normally from authorities or government or a trusted body, that they publish a statement or report which addresses and explains certain issue, problem or causes, like, a white paper on why certain GLC is not performing, or white paper on why is a Stadium collapse after 2 years in was built. and.."

Fat Lady, " STOP !!!! "

Me, "What ? I am not done yet... "

Fat Lady, " Answer me one thing... "

Me, " Ok , what ? "

Fat Lady, " What is a White Paper Crab ? "

Me, " Harrr ? Where got White Paper on Crabs one ? "

Fat Lady, " Look there ? " Point point....

Me, " LMAO ! White Pepper Crab lah Oiyo !! "

The One About GMA !!!

2010-11-17T14:19:00.005+08:00

Just now when I was checking my emails suddenly Fat Lady pointed at
my screen and shouted, " Wow !!! "

Me, " What ? "

Fat Lady, " You are using DOS meh ? "

Me, " Nope , Vista... "

Fat Lady, " Why all text and green stuff one ? "

Me, " This is Dosta... "

Fat Lady, " Bodoh lu ! "

Me, " No lah, it's my gmail screen, there is this Terminal themes."

Fat lady, " You are so damn 1970s ok ? "

Me, " No woh, real man uses DOS... and command prompt !"

Fat Lady, " then you should format C: your lap top lah !!"

Me, " Wah wah wah !! Format C: also you know ah ???? "

Fat Lady, " Abuthen ? Your eyes not painful meh ?"

Me, " A bit actually loh... "

Fat Lady, " Then why continue to use it ? "

Me, " GMA ok ??? Gaya Mesti Adaaaaaa "

The One About Die Die Die !!!!

2010-10-21T16:30:00.004+08:00

Ah Lian is having a lot of friends in the kindergarden and she likes
them very much and tell us all sorts of story about her new friends.

One fine day she came back and told us, " Yay ! Today i got new friends!"

Me, " Wow ! Cool, who are they ? "

Ah Lian, " One is Ah Beng and another one is Death ... "

Me spat coffee at the laptop screen while Fat Lady spat chicken rice
in my eyes ( with chili some more... spicy !! )

Me, " What is the name again ? Where got people call Death one ? "

Ah Lian, " Got Got Got !! Death Lee !! Death Lee from Ampang !!"

Me, " Choi !!"

Fat Lay, " Choi Choi ! "

Ah Lian's mom, " Choi Choi Tai Kat Lai Si !! Pui Hau Sui Choi !"

Ah Lian almost got tears in eyes liao, " I am not lying !!! "

Me, " Ok Ok ! I trust you, I trust you ! "

Ah Lian, " I didn't lie lah !! See his name here ? "

Ah Lian showed the name, " Dave Lee "

I covered my eyes this time before Fat Lady spit Fried Chicken
to my face again.

* When kids have their front teeth changed, before the new teeth grow,
they can't pronounce certain words properly.

Dave ==> Death
Dance ==> Denfff
Six ==> Sisfff
Fish ==> Fifth
Dish ==> Diffff....

Please be courteous enough and not to make fun or laugh at the kids
who are at this stage...

But then, Dave Lee become Death Lee woh.....

muahahahahahhahahaah !!

The One About Hah ? What Antenna ??

2010-10-21T16:21:00.002+08:00

Ah Lian is 6 years old right now and a lot of time, she is the creator
and the cause of alot of confusion of the house. But when she was 4
or 5 years old, there was more confusion....

One fine day, Ah Lian was pointing at the TV ...

Ah Lian, " Wah ! Mummy, Hah Nah Antenna !!! "

Mami, " Hmmm ? What Antenna ? "

Ah Lian, " Hah Nah Antenna !! " kept pointing at TV...

Mami, " Where got Antenna ? It is Satellite TV baby... "

Ah Lian, " No No !! Antenna !! "

Mami looked at the TV and it was Hannah Montana performing...

Mami -_-" " Haiyoh, Hannah Montana lah !! "

Ah Lian, " Ok Hannah Antenna ... "

Mami 2 legs in the sky.......

The One About KPI

2010-10-20T17:44:00.003+08:00

In certain organization, a staff's or employee's performance is rated
via KPI ( Key Performance Indicator ).

K = the best one
P = the normal one
I = the not so good one

So the other day the machai asked the boss.

Machai, " Hello Boss, for 2010, what would you rate me?"

Boss, " You mean your performance izzit ? "

Machai, " Yes sir ! What do you think of my performance ?"

Boss, " What do you think you are worth ? "

Machai, " Me ? I of course K lah ! "

Boss, " Ok ! K for you... no problem... "

Machai, " Wah !! Really ah ? So nice lah you bosss !! "

Boss, " No problem... "

Machai, " Boss, you are the best, i love you deep deep !!!"

Boss, " A, B, C, D, E, F, G, H, I, J, and you are K woh !! "

Machai " fuyohalamak !! " and 2 legs in the sky ,
waliew !!!! -_-"

The One About Hot !!

2010-10-16T17:00:00.002+08:00

Right now it is 5 pm. And my room temp is 32.5° Celcius. I am
in the PJ house right now. Outside how warm, i don't want to
know .....

Yesterday morning when I went into my car the outside temp
was 39° Celcius... -_-"

A few weeks ago i woke up @ ampang lair , it was 22° Celcius
only.

I looked at the sun and asked, " Kenapa boleh jadi begini ?"
and was hoping that the Met department would announce that it
would be dry season soon.

Cause previous few years, each time the Meteorological department
announces that it would be dry season for next few months.
It started to rain like no tomorrow, just to embarrass the Met dept.

Comon, let's announce some dry season ?? no ??

The One About Wrong Lots of Love !!

2010-10-12T19:14:00.005+08:00

A few days ago, Ah Beng's pet dog Ah James died, too old already.
Ah Lian was the best frind of Ah Beng from 1986 till now....
Ah Liam was also very sad cause James used to kiss kiss Ah Lian's
face and hands and everything everytime James see Ah Lian....

That is another story...

So Ah Lian decided to send a text message to Ah Beng to comfort him
and to console him, at the same time, hoping to show Ah Beng that she
cares for him very much ( and etc etc etc... )

The sms read like this, " Hei Ah Beng, i am very sorry to
hear that James passed away, deepest condolence from
me and my family and lol from me to you!!! "

Ah Beng received the SMS and was so angry and called Ah Lian back.

Ah Beng, " You very happy meh now ? "

Ah Lian, " No wor, i am very sad cause James passed away. "

Ah Beng, " Then why you lol in your SMS ? "

Ah Lian, " I really have lol for you mah ! "

Ah Beng, " knnbbq? Niabeh my dog died and you still laughing
out loud at me, you want to fight izzit ? "

Ah Lian, " Huh ? lol is not Lots of Love meh ? "

Ah Beng, " Lots of love your head ! Get lost ! "

Ah Lian, " errr. soli loh !! but i really lots of love mar.. "

Ah Beng, " Dulan ! " and hang up the phone.....

This one is from Johntim.... who is going to Singapore soon
with lolololol !!!

****************

Ah Beng text back Ah Lian, " Hi Ah Lian, sorry to hear that
your car was ran over by a 18 wheels truck and your pet
cat Kitty was in the car, lolol !! "

........ and that was how the fight started...

The One About Sugar Cane

2010-10-10T08:50:00.003+08:00

This morning was having a morning walk with Ah Lian who is 6
years old. As we passed by some trees and plants i tried to show
off that i watched a lot of Discovery Channel and National Geographic.

Me, " See, this is banana trees... coconut trees... bla.. bla bla...."

Ah Lian, " Oh ! Banana tree ! Why this banana so small one ?"

Me, " It is still growing ma... "

Ah Lian, " Ok Ok ... "

Me, " See this one is sugar cane, we always drink sugar cane juice one?"

Ah Lian, " Oh !!! I know I know !! " me damn syiok...

Ah Lian, " This is Shushi King tree ? We eat Shushi from here one ? "

Me, " Sugar cane tree ! "

Ah Lian, " Ya lah ! Sushi King tree la ! I love shushi "

Me jumped into the longkang and took a bath there to cool myself...

-_-"

The One About Whale

2010-09-29T20:21:00.004+08:00

Just now watching TV and the news showed some whales appearing at
US coast, cause the coast area now has a lot of shrimp.

Due to don't know what La Lina or La Bamba or
Lambada phenomenon....

Fat Lady, " Wah ! Whales !! "

Me, " Yeap ! "

Fat Lady, " Whale so huge, eat small little shrimp one meh ? "

Me, " Yeap ! "

Fat Lady, " They eat so many shrimps, collestrol will be very high or not?"

Me, " errr.... I don't know woh ! But i know, if we eat a lot of shrimp, the
doctor will sure start lecturing about high collestrol and stuff like that lah !"

Fat Lady, " So unfair hor ... "

Me, " errr..... "

Fat Lady, " By the way, Lambada is a song, not weather phenomenon ok ?"

Me, " errr.... zzzzzzzzz. "

* El Nino and La Nina lahhhhh !!! Oiyoh !!!

The One About Lady At Post Office

2010-09-22T18:17:00.002+08:00

Just now went to Post Office and did some courier to my brother.

Me, " Harlo . itu Pos Laju service ada di sini ?"

Lady, " ada ada.. ini form, sila fill up... "

Me, " Besok sampai, sempat ke ? "

Lady, " Tak boleh lah, encik, 4 pm sudah pickup, sekarang 5 pm"

Me, " Ok ok. tak apa... " and filled up the form...

Lady, " Sila nyatakan apa yang dihantar...."

Me, " Oh ! Ok ok ! and wrote, " Biskut yang sedap ""

Lady saw already -_-" ... " Har ? Biskut yang sedeap ? "

Me, " Kenapa, you tak percaya ah ? Betul mia ! "

Lady lol ! The colleage of her who was having sour face also
laughed....

Me, " Betul mia ... ini biskut yang sedap !! "

Lady, " ok ok. saya percaya... saya percaya... RM6.90"

Me, " ok ok... terima kasih " * Lari....

The One About Char Siew

2010-08-23T17:51:00.002+08:00

A team member of mine is a very nice person, when he sees poor

people, he gives them some money, when he sees poor animal, he

tries to help them also. His name is Mr Lee.

One fine day, he came out from restaurant after having lunch. And

after a moment he walked back into the restaurant.

Mr Lee, " Hi boss, can you cut me RM10 of char siew ? Take away "

The boss, " Har ? You just ate your lunch, but well, since it is you... "

The boss chop chop and cut cut some Char Siew and packed them.

Then Mr Lee took the Char Siew and paid the RM10. After that, he

walked to the front of the shop and opened the pack of char siew

and fed those to a dog !!!

The boss, " @*$%^!^^#&*&*($^ You fed my Char Siew to a dog ah?"

Mr Lee, " No mar, the dog very hungry leh !! "

The boss, " knnbbq ! My char siew so limited, not enough already and

yet you fed it to a dog ??? "

Mr Lee, " No mar, the dog very really hungry woh ! "

The boss, " But still !! My char siew woh !! "

Mr Lee, " Sorry loh ! "

The boss, ".......... "

Ｔｈｅ　Ｏｎｅ　Ａｂｏｕｔ　Ｔｈｅ　Ｐｏｓｔ　Ｏｆｆｉｃｅ．

2010-08-09T22:54:00.003+08:00

今天午餐时, 带了两位办公室的小姐出街，路过邮政局。

陈小姐:" 哇 !!! 好久没来邮政局办事了!! 好怀念 lah !!"

我: " 哇!! 陈小姐, 我忘了您那年代没有电脑, 也没电邮, 没用飞鸽传书吗？"

陈小姐:" 哇 liew !! 看我的佛.. 山.. 无.. 影.. 脚.. !!!!!!"

我:" Oi !　喂！喂！我在驾车啦可以不要伤害我吗?"

陈小姐：＂什么飞鸽传书哪？什么没有电邮的年代哪？想死吗？＂

刘小姐笑得从车后座掉到地上去了。

＂很好笑么？＂陈小姐问道．

The One About A Good Steak Shop

2010-07-24T23:14:00.005+08:00

A few days ago i was having business meeting with reseller at
Victoria Station and had dinner with the reseller. Was so happy
with the food and discussion and went back told Fat Lady about
that.

A few days later, Fat Lady mia sister, " Hor ! I angry with you !! "
Me," Huh ? What ? What have i done wrong ?"
Fat Lady mia sister, " You no good lah ! "
Me, " Har ? What went wrong, tell me.. tell me.. "

Fat Lady mia sister, " You never bring me to Victoria Secret !! "
Me, " Har ? Victoria Secret ... err... "
She, " Eh ! Bukan... Victoria Secret.... Victoria Station .. "
Me, " Choi ! Bodoh ! "
She, " So when you want to bring me there zhek ? "
Me, " Don't ask me, ask Fat Lady ! Heheheheh.... "

Fat Lady, " ya ya... we go buy Victoria Secret ya... "
Me, " Both of you Stupiak ! But the steak was nice! ! "
Both of them, " YORRR ! "

The One About Blur Lady

2010-07-22T23:44:00.002+08:00

A few weeks ago we went back to Ampang house and saw a co worker
of mine who has a nice sport car. I waved to them and say hello and
Fat Lady's sister was also in the car.

A few days later, we passed thru the same place again and Fat Lady's
sister, " Oh ! the Pink Lady is not there today ! "

Me, " Hmmm ? Pink Lady ? Who is that ? "

She, " Noh ! That day your friend nuh, the Pink Lady sport car one !"

Me and Fat Lady, " NISSAN FAIR LADY Lah !!! "

She, " Opppss !! Why i remember pink lady hor... "

Me and Fat Lady -_-"

The One About 咏春

2010-05-29T22:34:00.002+08:00

前几天看了几部关于功夫片，觉得很有感觉很有feel......

回到家，对肥婆说道，“我要学咏春！我要学功夫！”

肥婆，“什么 ????”

我很兴奋的说道，“我要一个打十个！”

肥婆，“学功夫？人家给警察给扣留了啦！”

我, “吓?? 什么话”

The One About Speeding and Get Caught

2010-05-23T21:31:00.003+08:00

My friend Sam has a Proton Satria Neo and a lot of time he drives very fast.

One day he was rushing from Seremban back to Kuala Lumpur and he
was driving pretty fast then.

Somewhere near Nilai he get stopped by Traffic Police with red flag.

Sam, " Wah liew ! This time kena already.... "

Police walked to his car, " Selamat petang encik.. "

Sam, " se..se... selamat petang... "

Police, " Jadi, you tahu apa kesalahan you ? "

Sam, " spe .. spe... speeding ?? "

Police, " Betul ! tahu pon engkau ! "

Sam, " so... so... berapa ? "

Police, " 185 "

Sam, " Wa... wa... waliew ? So expensive ?" and reached for wallet ...

Police, " Oi !! Oi !! Oi !! apa you buat ? Buat apa you ambik duit ?"

Sam, " 185 ring... ring... ringgit mar, kan ? "

Police, " Oi !! Oi !! Oi !! you mia speed tadi 185km per jam lah ! apa you
ingat ? "

Sam, " O..O...Oh ! Shit ! "

Police, " Nah ! ini saman untuk speeding, sila bayar di mana-mana kaunter
opis Polis Trafik ya, terima kasih, lain kali tolong jangan pandu cepat lagi !!"

Sam =_="

The One About Lap Top Mainboard

2010-05-08T09:11:00.004+08:00

This morning was chatting with Miss Lim over her lap top which
has problem and can't work properly...

Miss Lim, " Fuyuh !! my lap top got problem lah !! screen snowy.. "

Me, " Wassap ? what happened ? tell me tell me ?what is the prob.."

Miss Lim, " My friend said that the motherboard is having problem!
baru 2 years in service, but screen can't show / display properly liao"

Me, " Har ? Motherboard ah ? "

Miss Lim, " Yalah, the motherboard became siao siao abit liao !"

Me, " I see.. "

Miss Lim, " So , what do you think happened ? "

Me, " See, normally at the month of May the motherboard of the PC
and laptop will start giving problems and strike one, this is according to
an US study on hardware and the statistic is correct up to 95% ... "

Miss Lim, " Har ?? Izzit ?? why why leh ?"

Me, " See May is mother day mar, whole world celebrating the Mother
day except motherboard cannot celebrate, yet have to work ...
of course they give you problem lah ! Aiyoh.... "

Miss Lim, " 3 8 ! Bodoh !!"

Happy Mother's Day !! Mum, we love you !!!

The One About The Mountain Bike

2010-04-11T09:22:00.002+08:00

A few months ago, went to Ampang and bought myself a very
good mountain bike with disc brakes for front and back.

Tried many rounds around my house area but later put that in
the store room cause recently very busy.

Mom, " Wei ! Your mountain bike buy for what ? No use one?"

Me, " Mam, it has use ok ? "

Mom, " What use ? "

Me, " You see, everyday I hang my jeans and cargo pants there!"

Me, " Damn yeng hor ? I do not throw jeans and pants on floor one!"

Me, " Successful man put jeans and pants on good bike !! "

Mom. " Try my 18 Control Dragon Palm with Olive Oil !!! "

The One About Piano

2010-04-11T09:17:00.004+08:00

Yesterday mom suddenly said, " You all should feel sorry about the piano!"

Me, " Huh ? why ?"

Mom, " You all never use and play the piano for months already ya ! "

Me, " No ak, we did touch ya ! "

Mom, " When When When ?? "

Me, " Every day loh ! "

Mom, " Do not bluff ! Young man !! Do not bluff !! "

Me, " No ! Everyday i put my keys on the piano, and put my wallet there."

Me, " Sometimes I even put my letters there too ... for few days ... "

Mom -_-"

My sister, " Ya lah ! I also put my handphone there what ? "

Mom, " See my Buddha Hill No Shadow
Kick ! Both of you !! Rasakan !!!
Kazhaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa....... "

The One About Leanne

2010-02-21T00:40:00.002+08:00

One of my niece's name is Leanne and it is indeed a nice name.

Her mother however always call her, " Ah Leanne.. come here....
Ah Leanne do this... do that .... Ah Leanne.... "

One fine day, Leanne, " Excuse me, mama !! "

Mother, " Yes dear ? anything I can do for you ? "

Leanne, " Can you please kindly stop calling me Ah Lian ???
My name is Leanne !! like the Leanne Rimes like that ok ??

Please do not call me Ah Lian anymore, you want me to
call you Ah Beng ? "

the mother -_-" ......

The One About Playing Cards

2010-02-21T00:36:00.002+08:00

A few days ago I was watching some friends playing cards during
CNY and this Miss K brought her little girl along.

Miss K, " Lian, you see my card ? Nice ah ? But you cannot say
what you see ya ? "

Lian, " Ok mama, " and she shouted, " 8 !!! 10 !!! "

whole table laughed until ....

Miss K, " You should not shout out the card no too... "

Lian, " wopppppsss !!!"

The One About Highway to Heaven

2010-02-20T17:03:00.002+08:00

If there is a route or highway to heaven,
this must be it !!!!

The One About Feeling Blue ??

2010-02-20T15:18:00.017+08:00

Sometimes in life, things happen. Good things and not so good things.

If a good thing happens, we enjoy it and appreciate it.

If bad thing happens, we solve them and we learn a lesson
from them, that's it !! Sometimes bad things happen and our
mood become low and we show sad face or long face.

No good !! Here are the ways to feel better ya.

The still quite new YF22 had fuel pump problem and there she
goes, the first time up on to the tow truck :)

Reason for refuse to work ? Fuel pump wire loosen... -_-"

Sunset at Kuala Krai, always feel very gray and dark
approaching very fast during sunset, people feels
uncertainty during sunset. I feels directionless.....

But the heat of Chinese new year is gone as the sun
goes down, right ?

After sunset, there is sunrise like below.

Everytime when there is fog or mist in the morning,
it is going to be a hot day !

One of the way to reduce stress, to remove blue and to
become happier.

Go to Zoo and see the poor face of the animal :)

Or eat some chocolate cakes....

Lou Sang and shout " I WANT TO FAT TATT!" before that....

So, why still a long face ? Go out, have fun and make
yourself happy : )

Bring the kids of the family to Zoo or outing,
take photos with them ....

My cousin, " Oh ! Koko, that bird is horny lah ! "

Me, " where where ? "

Cousin, " Tuuuu.... "

Me, " That one not horny, and those are not horn... this owl didn't comb his
hair this morning or his hair cream ran out... "

Cousin, " tipu .... you think i was born yesterday izzit ? "

Suddenly i feel that all of my cousin has grown up a lot ....

The wild cat has become fatty cat...

My cousin, " Yo camel ! "

the camel, " Come closer, i will chew your fingers off !!"

The One About The Armoured Guy

2009-12-28T08:50:00.004+08:00

Aiseh, what is the name of this animal with full body armour and

a nice full face helmet already ya?

Saw this one at some fish farm a few weeks ago.

I remembered this is one of the oldest animal in the world.

Older than shark and crocodile.....

apanama.... itu .... apanama.....

The One About Setapak and Mark Ko

2009-12-28T01:00:00.000+08:00

Today was chatting with my father in car when going to Penang, sister and
mother are also tagging along.

Me, " So, how was your both trip to Genting yesterday? "

Father, " Good, I went and had coffee with your mama. "

Me, " Oh ... coffee ya ...where ? "

Father, " Setapak... "

Me and my sister, " What ? Setapak ? You went Genting right ?"

Father, " Stapak... " My mother spits mineral water at my car window...

Me, " Oi !! Starbucks ok ? "

Father, " Yes yes, Stabak... " Me 2 legs in the sky....

Me, " So , Starbucks, nice coffee ya ! "

Father, " Very nice and price also good ! "

Me, " Ya, nice price tag, what coffee did you drink ? "

Father, " Mark Koh... Markkohhh something .... "

Me and my sister spit the Cokes at car dashboard.....

Me and my sister, " Mocha lahhhhhhhh !!! "

My father, " Oppsss, Moka.. Moka.... "

I almost pulled the steering wheel off ..... Mark Ko pula.....

Papa.. why you so funny one ?

The One About Youngster(s) Today

2009-12-28T00:39:00.002+08:00

My parents, just came back after having Starbucks at Genting....

Them, " Nowadays, a lot of kids surfing net at coffee shops ya !"

Me, " Yap, there are free internet access there. "

Them, " Both of us old people sit there and so many youngster, we
looked a bit odd lah "

Me, " Don't feel odd, next time, bring 2 lap tops, each of you open your
MSN and start chatting, and look at the screen and start grinning every
2 second(s), you will mix in alright... no worries ... or you can do farming,
harvesting and even stealing your neighbours fruits and vegetables... "

Them, " What fruits ? What vegetables ??? "

Me, " Never mind... i will teach you one day.... "

The One About Important Activity

2009-12-20T23:48:00.004+08:00

A few weeks ago we were having a gathering with Fat Lady's friends who
grew up with her in Ampang. And I also joined them to Key Poh and look
see look see around.

There were about 8 of us and we were having lunch at house of Ah Sim.

Ah Sim is a good friend of mine who happens to be Fat Lady friend too.

20 minutes after we started the lunch, the 2 ladies started looking at
their watch and started making calls and SMS.

Looked like very busy with work or some important issue.

After I asked them what happened, they said, " Strawberry whitening!"

Me, " What strawberry are you talking about ? "

Them, " We do farming now lah, very busy ! "

Me, " Eh I thought both of you are in Information Technology one ?
started farming since when ? Which farm do you normally go ? Do you
do organic farming or not ? I have this question about..... "

Them, " Stop ! We are doing farming on-line ! We plant strawberries
and our strawberries are riping already ! Now do you have a PC that
we could connect to the internet ? Else please go play far far away..... "

Me, " WFT ? farming virtually ? "

Them, " Yes ! And now please connect this PC to the internet .... "

5 minutes later... Them, " Oh ha ha !! can harvest already, let me go
and steal some stuff from my neighbour first ... keh keh keh.. "

Me, " Darn ! These people are very strange.... "

Fat Lady, " Ya, imagine that you could grow strawberries and harvest
the fruits in 4 hours time, with no sweat , no soil need and also no need
to water your plant. That is cool ya !! "

Me, " I need to learn about this virtual farming thing already !!! "

Fat Lady, " You don't get addicted to it so much, that my 2 friends
set alarm notificaion in the handphone and google calander ... so that
they could harvest their fruits on time and prevent whitening......"

Me -_-"

The One That I am away

2009-12-20T10:49:00.002+08:00

It is now year end again. Now excuse me cause I am away from KL.

The One About More Coffee

2009-12-20T10:46:00.004+08:00

We had 6 of these this morning. Fat Lady, " Hmmmm...... darn good coffee !!"

I am sure that later when I pee, the toilet would smell like

Cappucinaman Coffee Company.....

The One About Good Coffee

2009-12-20T10:33:00.004+08:00

Was with Fat Lady and the team in Ipoh searching for good coffee.

We went to 1st Shop and had some coffee....

Me asked, " So how ? coffee nice ??"

Fat Lady mia sister, " Hmmm.... so so only.... "

Me, " Wah Liew wei ! This one very famous one woh ! Got Egg Tart one woh!"

Fat Lady mia sister, " Nope, no kick, my heart beat didn't go up ! "

Me, " WTFBBQSATAY ..... "

Fat Lady mia sister, " I want to try a second opinion, let's go opposite one!"

Hence we went to "Sun Yuan Foong" and tried....

20 seconds later

Me, " How how ?? "

Fat Lady mia sister, " Wah ! Got feel !! got feel !!! my heart now Ping Pong

Ping Pong, Ping Ping Pong Pong !! Very strong !! very nice !! This is TEH

best ! i am very high now, can go do Disco and "Feng" my head till

tomorrow....ya ?? ya ?? Got disco here or not ?? Got pub or not ??"

We all, " Chee Sin !!!! "

The One About Big Animals Water

2009-12-20T10:22:00.002+08:00

A few days ago we were at Ipoh area searching up and down for foods
and ate a lot of hot stuffs.

Ate some fried and spicy stuff , a lot of protein stuff too.

Fat Lady, " Hei ! You all better drink some HIPPO water there ok ? "

My niece, " Yi Yi , what is hippo water ? "

Fat Lady mia sister, " Ya, what on earth is hippo water ? "

Me, " What is HIPPO water ?? "

Fat Lady, " errr..... "

Me, LMAO, " You mean 3 legs Rhino water isn't it ?? Ha ha ha !!"

Fat Lady, " eerrrr... ya loh wopppsss "

Me, " Why not you call that Elephant Water or Whale Water ?"

Fat Lady, " Oi !!! Soli lor !! "

Is that true it is difficult to diffrenciate a Rhino and a Hippo ??

Fat Lady, " Oiiii !! I said enough already harrrr !! "

Me, " ok ok... cough * hippo water * cough "

Fat Lady, " Ka Chaaaaaaaaaa !!! You bad man ! Come try my latest
Buddha..... Mountain...... Non-Shadowed...... Kicks !!! "

The One About Handphone Freeze

2009-12-06T03:02:00.003+08:00

A few days ago in the office.

Miss July ( MJ ) came to my place and asked, " Kai Hong, got a few minutes ?"

Me, " ya, how may i help you ?"

MJ, " You see this phone, no response no matter what i press leh !"

Me, " oh , let me see ? "

MJ, " Nah here you go... donno why it freezes leh "

Me took it and pressed Power button for 3 sec, Nokia tune played....

MJ, " Har ? WTF ? "

Me, " Mobile phone need to be turned on first, only it would work.. "

MJ, " WTF ? Which button that you pressed ? "

Me, " Power on button lah ! "

MJ, " But it is not written here as power button leh ! "

Me 2 legs in the sky........

MJ laughed he he he he he and beaten the crap out of me .....

The One About Cari Pasal

2009-11-13T15:16:00.002+08:00

A few friends of mine are now working in Abu Dhabi and the
surrounding country. Miss Wei was one of them ...

Today over the MSN , Me, : " Oi Oi ! Miss Wei how do you do ?"

Wei, " I am good, how about yourself ?"

Me, " I am fine here, how are things there ?"

Wei, " Not too bad, work is fine but very hot lah !!!... "

Me, " Need any thing there ? Anything that has great demand
there? Maybe some sand ? I can export a lot of sand to Abu
Dhabi if you want .. Malaysia has a lot of sand !!!.. "

Wei, " ............ "

Me, " I give you a good discount and give you credit terms lah !
want or not ? * run away fast fast "

Wei, " nuts ah ? desert already, still need sand ah ? &!@&#&!&&$"

lolrtof !!!

Damn... i am bored sometimes....

The One About Gas Leakage !! Gas Leakage !!

2009-11-02T00:09:00.005+08:00

This morning I was with Fat lady and her siblings at KL doing some usual stuff.

Suddenly I felt that there was some strong smell of gas ( cooking gas ) in
the air and I told them about this....

Me, " eh ! you all feel that there is gas leakage ? "

Fat lady, sniff sniff, " hmm.... seems got a bit, not strong.... "

Fat lady's sister, sniff sniff, " Wah ! Got got !! Strong gas smell !! "

Me, " Darn ! We are so near to the kitchen facility, could that be
cooking gas leakage ? should we warn them ? "

Fat lady still sniff sniff around.....

FL's sister, " Oh ! could it be oxygen leakage from the tank ? "

She pointed at a small oxygen cylinder not too far away from us...

me, " Oi ! Oxygen has no odor or smell one ok ? "

FL's sister," Opppsss ... really ? soli soli !! "

After my brain load some old scenario and old case from CSI....

Suddenly, " Wait you all !! No need to panic already !! I know what
gas is that already ! he he he he !!!"

Everyone, " what ? what gas was that ?? got poisonous or not ? "

Me, " D---U---R---I---A---N !!! "

Everyone lolrotf with 2 legs in the sky...

There was someone eating durian not too far away from us and
the smell of durian when mixed with air , smells so like cooking
gas !!!

What does this mean ? Ladies and Gentleman ???

It is TEH DURIAN season again !! YAY !!!

The One About Award Winning Photo(s)

2009-09-27T10:17:00.003+08:00

My cousin asked me what photo is this, and I told her that this is the

photo that will win me an Award.

lolol !!!

I think when Fat Lady see this photo she might spit coffee on her LCD screen

and fall off her chair....

The One About Scarry Tree

2009-09-27T10:03:00.003+08:00

I was at this Bradley Stairs ( Tangga Krai ) and walking around
when I saw this 38 million years old tree... ok ok... very old
tree and I went to take a few photos of the tree.

The guy selling drinks near the tree :" Eh, sir please be careful ! "

Me:" Huh ? What ? Me ? "

The guy: " Ya, this tree has hantu (ghost) one ! "

Me:" Har ? Are you kidding me? "

The guy:" No ! It is true, a lot of people came and took the photos
of this tree and at night the saw something else in the photo... u
go home later at night and look at the tree carefully and you will
see... teng teng teng.... got something else one !!!"

Me:" Are you very sure ? "

The guy:" I swear by the name of my father, mother and my wife.. "

Me:" They must be using non Nikon Cameras and Lenses.... using lousy
equipment(s) would produce lousy quality of images...

You see, I am using Nikon D50 and 18 to 135mm lenses, all the photos
come out very nice and gurantee no Ghost and Spirits one ... see ? see?"

The guy 2 legs in the sky ....

Me ? I smile and ran away fast fast lah....

The One About Kuala Krai

2009-09-27T10:00:00.001+08:00

After hmmm 8 months of busy working in Kuala Lumpur, I am back to

Kuala Krai where I spent my happy childhood time...

A lot of changes compared to 3 or 4 years ago.

A lot of swifts around ( Not that Suzuki Swift.... ), those swifts which

produces a lot of birdnest using their saliva... and Chinese eat these

birdnest made by these saliva .... and I don't know if these swift got

brush their teeth every morning and night, or clean their tongue or not...

Well.... that is another story..... ( geee... eating birds saliva ? darn Chinese )

Went and took some photos, some nice, some so so and some were quite

scary.....

enjoy ya....

Visit to Kuala Krai train station is a must, but darn, it has been upgraded

and looked too modern to my liking.

And they demolished my favourite wooden STORE !!! Darn !

The One About Palm PDA ... eh Palm Seeds

2009-09-27T09:55:00.002+08:00

Actually Kuala Krai is surrounded by a lot of palm trees and rubber

trees.... deforesation was bad hence the very hot weather nowadays

in the noon.

Yesterday night was very very special super extra hot....

This, my friend, are the nice Palm Seeds that I saw on the

way when I was doing some off road driving , learning how to

avoid the cow pooo on the way... -_-"

The One About Stealing Chicken !!!

2009-09-16T17:16:00.001+08:00

什么是所谓的偷鸡呢 ??

偷鸡就是开演唱会, 到一半忘了歌词, 或唱累了.....

就把麦克风对着观众, 让大家一起唱

好像很很开心的....

偷大鸡嘛这是...

-_-"

The One About Starry Starry Night

2009-09-03T01:07:00.004+08:00

The One About A Place Far far Away !!

2009-09-03T01:03:00.002+08:00

The One About Soli Soli

2009-09-03T00:59:00.000+08:00

Would like to apologize for being away from here for
quite some time.... work has been quite busy and a few
new project is coming....

But i still love this blog very very much one !! ya !

The One About Sudah Kurus

2009-08-20T12:07:00.002+08:00

Suatu hari, Jess , " Oh ! Kai Hong, you sudah kurus ! "

Me, " Wah ! Bagus bagus, thank you thank you... "

Jess, " I mean, you punya siku agak kurus ..... "

Me, " Fat San Mou Yeng Kiok !!!! Jangan lari !!!! "

The One About Kasih Sayng Part II

2009-08-20T12:01:00.002+08:00

Pada suatu malam yang sunyi, dalam bilik tidur,

Si isteri, " Yang, yang sayangkan i ke tidak ? "

Si suami, " Mestilah, sayang sampai garing !! "

Si isteri, " yay yay !! Jadi... jadi... jadi... "

Si suami, " jadi apa ? yang ? "

Si isteri, " Yang, jadi saya bagi you 3 pilihan
a. You belikan i satu Blackberry
b. You belikan i satu Mazda 3
c. You belikan i satu Mitsubishi Lancer 2.0 GTI "

Suami, " Yang, biar aku bagi you kasih sayang ya !!

Tumbukan kiri = kasih
Tumkukan kanan = sayang !! Nah !! Rasakan kasih sayang aku !!!

Sepakan Fut San Mou Yeng Kiok = Cinta Abadi !!! "

Maka pon jadilah polis case......

The One About MJ

2009-07-05T14:42:00.003+08:00

Last week during breakfast with my Chung Hwa 95 gang at some dim
sum shop...

Ah Jin: " Eh later want to go One U ? Got Tribute for MJ "

Fat Lady, " Metro Jaya ah ? One U ? Got sales ah ? Mega sales start
already meh ? I want to go !! I want to go !!! "

Ah Jin:" You know, itu Micheal Jackson, not Metro Jaya.... no I am not
talking about Mega sales or Kilo sales... I am talking about my beloved
Michael Jackson who died recently ok ? sob.. sob.. sob... "

Fat Lady, " Whopppsss... sorry sorry, sorry sorry..... "

btw, did you notice that for the past 1 week, MJ's song is like all over
the radio space, and all the Plasma TV, LCD TV at major shopping mall
now is showing him doing Moonwalking ??

Fat Lady, " geeee.... this guy sure could dance... ya ? "

Me, " ya, not Metro Jaya ya ? "